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Broken wings

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godessalthena

:: 2018 10 January :: 7.53am

I've been sleeping a lot lately, but not the nice restful kind, rather the kind where you just spin all night then wake up 2 hours early and can't get back to sleep.

I'm sad today. I just want to hide under a rock and pretend I don't exist. Hopefully I get an early out today.

My last check was $200 short, which hurt a little, but it's nice not having to worry about rent or a car payment. What are student loans going to do? Rape me and steal my dog? Well maybe with this new president.... Should I worry? Haha

But 2 appointments with my therapist costs about $200 and having so much time away from work has really helped my mental health lately. More than seeing my therapist, so I'll take the loss and mark it as a win.

I just have to say, after spending close to $500 on gifts for my sweetie for Xmas if he doesn't get me a good damned bathrobe for a super late gift I'm going to he so mad.

Out of my misery?


godessalthena

:: 2018 2 January :: 8.46am

I hate feeling like a conspiracy theorist but the older I get the harder it is to ignore that every problem in America was and is manufactured by the government/the wealthy to keep the masses controlled, weak and leached of any resources.

1 Let me die on | Out of my misery?


godessalthena

:: 2017 31 December :: 8.28am

there ain't nothing better than blowing smoke screens into sunbeams on a lazy weekend morning

Out of my misery?


godessalthena

:: 2017 30 December :: 7.34am

Discovering my dairy allergy has been the single most depressing thing that has happened to me in a while.

I miss cheese. And eating food like a normal human being. I miss not waking up to a nuclear holocaust in my GI tract for having some cheese & cream sauce.

I miss cream cheese on bagels
I miss cheese bagels
I miss food.

Out of my misery?


godessalthena

:: 2017 18 December :: 10.53pm
:: Mood: pensive

Freedom is what you do with what is done to you.

1 Let me die on | Out of my misery?


godessalthena

:: 2017 18 December :: 10.59am

When I say the bridge is burned it stays fucking burned

When I say things are over they are over.

If you all want to waste your time worrying about what I'm doing, help yourself, but I don't give a fuck about you or what you think.

Leave me the fuck alone.

Out of my misery?


godessalthena

:: 2017 3 December :: 12.58am

You insist I stay home when you go out to have fun

Makes me feel like I'm the secret

Out of my misery?


godessalthena

:: 2017 2 December :: 9.48am

when the puzzle is made of squares and you are a hideously deformed circle piece

Out of my misery?


godessalthena

:: 2017 30 November :: 12.06am

the warm embrace of a friend

3 Let me die on | Out of my misery?


godessalthena

:: 2017 28 November :: 12.50am

Please don't make it 3

Out of my misery?


godessalthena

:: 2017 23 November :: 10.52pm

I try to be sweet and loving and caring and helpful and yet I ALWAYS manage to ruin the night by being a psychotic bitch

Im not made to live on this planet. Im not made to love other humans. Im just worthless. A sack of shit. A piece of useless garbage.

Same as I always have been same as I always will be. You can't change the core of a person, only the nuances surrounding them. I give up.

Out of my misery?


godessalthena

:: 2017 22 November :: 12.14am

I just want a stupid smoke

But no lighter no matches no flint stone

No nothing

>:(

Out of my misery?


godessalthena

:: 2017 16 November :: 6.53am

My least favorite way to be woken up is by phone call

Out of my misery?


godessalthena

:: 2017 6 November :: 3.08pm

I hope it still hurts

The hole I made in your heart the day I left

Out of my misery?


poisonedheart

:: 2017 1 November :: 10.47pm

I'm not a good person
Ask anyone who knows me
I'm mean and bitter
And a failure at everything that I say I believe

I'm not a good person
Ask anyone who loves me
I never write, I never call
I never think about anyone at all

I'm not a good person
No matter what I do
My exhaustion will consume me
And I'm too tired for the truth

I'm not a good person
I'm sure you're not surprised
It must be pouring out my sweat glands
It must be someplace in my eyes

I don't know why I am this way
I've been like this since I can remember
I try to keep up with everything I know I should do
But then I'll fall to pieces anyway

I don't know why I am this way
I'm not a good person, not even to you
I'm staying home because I can't stand the sound
Of another heartbeat in the room

I'm not a good person
Fuck it, you know it's true
I'm lazy, I'm a coward
I'm asleep all day in my room

I don't know why I am this way
I've been like this since I can remember
I try to keep up with everything I know I should do
But then I'll fall to pieces anyway

I don't know why I am this way

Out of my misery?

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