Aborted And Lost


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God's Abortion

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:: 2004 11 January :: 6.08 am
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: Chimaira - Pure Hatred

Fuck sleep up the ass.

Heard a really good friend hates me now. Took a piss. Moved on with life.

Found out I really, truely do not give a fuck about anyone or anything. Played a game. Moved on with life.

Found out I'm really nothing and going to be nothing my whole life. Planned a suicide. Moved on with life.

Found out who my friends were. Ditched them. Moved on with life.

Saw someone get killed. Laughed. Moved on with life.

Saw a cat get its head chopped off with a lawn mower. Wondered what kind of blade the mower had. Moved on with life.

Heard my dad and Jimmy's mom fucking before. Cried. Moved on with life.

Found out Amy's suicidal, cuts herself on a daily basis. Watched TV. Moved on with life.

Think I've lost a couple friends this weekend. Played EverQuest. Moved on with life.

Coulda sworn I heard the sounds of hell coming after me. Got high. Moved on with life.

God told me he hates me and I'm a stupid fuck. Kicked his ass. Moved on with life.

Teacher told me I'm 'negative'. Fell asleep. Moved on with life.

Found out a few people liked me. Told them to fuck off. Moved on with life.

Posting this entry. Watching TV. Moving on with this pointless life.


6 ::Helped Me Die:: | ::Help Me Die::

:: 2004 3 January :: 11.59 pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: Dolt - End of the World

Ehh. Hey.

Yea. Weird shit. I guess I'm friends again with Jeannie? I bet no one saw that coming. Hopefully, if we decide to stay friends, it won't turn into the bloodbath that it did last year...

44 ::Helped Me Die:: | ::Help Me Die::

:: 2003 28 December :: 3.21 am
:: Mood: apathetic
:: Music: Marilyn Manson - Fight Song

Okay, fuckers.

Here's the poem I wrote. Please give me some honest advice on it. Whether it's good or bad, be honest you lying bastards.

Born To Die?

It's escaping
It's slowly growing
Feeling pain
But feeling nothing.
The feelings hide
No sign of slowing
Feeling hate
Loving nothing.

Feeling tired
I can barely move
Endless rain
My mind is through.
Feeling distraught
Always fighting to lose
No sun shines
There's nothing to do.

Giving it up
The battle is lost
Too much grey
A mental frost.
I start to cut
Can't feel the pain
I know nothing is real
Except the blood red stain.

Now it's over
I'm laying still
I am watching black
Escaping the chills.
With my final breath
I wonder why
As I look around
I was born to die?

7 ::Helped Me Die:: | ::Help Me Die::

:: 2003 23 December :: 3.42 am
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: Slipknot - Wait And Bleed

Go Away.

Paranoid:Very High
Schizoid:Very High
Schizotypal:Very High
Borderline:Very High
Avoidant:Very High

-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

233 ::Helped Me Die:: | ::Help Me Die::

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