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The last dream

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[ xsilentxsuicidex ]

:: 2005 23 September :: 11.56 pm

Falling apart...
I'm sorry for whatever I did to lose you...

...Everything has changed so fast. I miss you. Oh god, I miss you. You've got me so lost here, and I don't know what to do.

Everything was going so perfectly... And then, it all crashed to the ground. Suddenly, you weren't all you promised you would be. You were nothing at all. You vanished out of my life completely, and I never found closure.

You were so close to being mine. So close... Right as I had you in my grip, you slipped away, and I was left alone and confused.

It gets harder and harder every day to see you... Even looking at pictures rips me apart. It's not healthy feeling this way. It can't be.

There's so much I want to say. It's always screaming inside, trying to come out... But the silence overcomes it.

I miss you so much.
I wish we would start talking again.


[ ImUgly ]

:: 2005 14 September :: 11.03 am

She utters her voice in the streets
She crys in the chief place of councourse,
In the openings of the gates:
In the city she uttered her words saying

"How long, simple ones,
Will you love love simplicity?
And the scorners delight in their scorning,
And the fools hate knowledge?
Turn you at my reproof:
I will pour out my spirit for you
I will make my words known to you.
Because I have called
And you refused;
I have stretched out my hand,
And no man regarded.
But you have set at not all my counsel,
And would none of my reproof:
I will laugh at your calamity
I will mock when your fear comes;
When your fear comes as desolation,
And your destruction comes as a whirlwind;
When distress and anguish come upon you
Then shall they call upon me,
But I will not answer;
They shall seek me,
But they shall not find me."


[ loserxdork ]

:: 2005 27 August :: 7.47 pm

I'm sorry to everyone...for being me...

2 tulips | bloom


[ dabestyougot69 ]

:: 2005 29 July :: 1.38 am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: the sound of my screams

my poem...comments?
By Kelli T
(C) 2005

Describes my being

My only trait

Who has the meaning?

My dreadful fate

Emptiness is what I feel
When I'm walking all alone
Emptiness is what I feel
When no ones calling on the phone
Emptiness is what I feel
When you stabbed me in the back
Emptiness is what I feel
When I'm falling off lifes tracks

Emptiness is what I feel
When I try to OD you away
Emptiness is what I feel
When you loved started to fade
Emptiness is what I felt
When you chose her over me
Emptiness is what I felt
When you fucked me over completely

As empty as that pill bottle
That I just emptied out
As empty as feeling "love"
I thought I knew about
As empty as your heart
As empty as my soul
As empty as your love has been
Even when I wanted more

Welcome to my suicide party

2 tulips | bloom


[ dabestyougot69 ]

:: 2005 20 June :: 9.41 am

The dream is...




[ dabestyougot69 ]

:: 2005 20 June :: 9.30 am

Not long ago, but far away...
A rainy winters day
All her pain, she kept inside
could no longer hide
No cry for help
she killed herself
Both life and love she could not save
She took them both to the grave

A pair of souls become undone
Where were two, now one
Divided by this wall of death
I will soon join you yet
With my blood, I'll find your love
You've found your strenth to end your life
As yo did, so shall I

Oh no

Don't die on me
Don't die on me
Don't die on me
Don't die...


[ imugly ]

:: 2005 15 June :: 9.03 pm

Give me three random colors
1. bergandy
2. brown
3. garnet
Your name is: Elise
You love: my violin
You want: to be loved
You wish: he cared about me again
You have: nothing anymore
You need: to be forgiven


[ xsilentxsuicidex ]

:: 2005 14 June :: 1.59 pm

I'm sorry...

For everything.

1 tulips | bloom

[ xsilentxsuicidex ]

:: 2005 26 May :: 4.46 pm

I'm sorry that I worry all the time,
Even when you constantly tell me not to.

And I'm sorry that I assume things,
Even when you have given me absolutely no reason to.

I'm sorry that you live miles and miles away,
Even when you'd come home if you could.

And I'm sorry that I miss you so much,
Even when it's all you're fault.

But most of all, I'm sorry for dragging you down like this. So what? We're young and in love... But you shouldn't have to deal with all this right now. You have so much on your hands right now and so much ahead of you. I just keep holding on...

But I think I'm losing my grip.

I hope you're happier there than you were here.

1 tulips | bloom

[ lovedlessthanmost ]

:: 2005 19 May :: 5.43 pm
:: Mood: kind of better
:: Music: The Streets - Dry Your Eyes

in one single moment, your whole life can turn around...
I'm sorry that I wasted my heart on a liar.

I'm sorry that I thought things would work out.

I'm not sorry that I know I deserve better than you.

Yeah, I'm feeling better and I can't wait to fall in love with someone will actually love me as much as I'll love him.


8 tulips | bloom

[ lovedlessthanmost ]

:: 2005 17 May :: 6.54 pm
:: Mood: crumbling/tired

I'm sorry that I wasted those days with a rat.

I'm sorry that I opened myself up so much for a liar.

I'm sorry that I still wait for his call.

I'm sorry that this might make me cry.

I'm sorry that I feel this way.



[ lovedlessthanmost ]

:: 2005 15 May :: 7.58 pm
:: Mood: accomplished

Give me three random colors
1. black
2. pink
3. purple
Your name is: Jean
You love: Matt...
You want: Matt and I to be together again
You wish: that everything would work out for us..
You have: a broken heart and no concentration
You need: my Matthew

I'm sorry that I got so emotional. I want things to work out so badly and I'd forgive all of your lies just to be with you again...I'd even stop being so insecure...I hope you call me soon like you said you would. :(

3 tulips | bloom

[ xsilentxsuicidex ]

:: 2005 12 May :: 5.17 pm

I'm sorry I'm not always there for you.
And that I don't pay attention all the time.
I really do care about you...
You just seem to be oblivious to that.

I'm sorry I'm not the perfect friend all the time.
And that I keep messing up.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong...
But it's got to be something.

Once again, I find myself... completely and utterly alone.
And I'm sorry for feeling sorry for myself.

1 tulips | bloom


[ independenttruckergrl ]

:: 2005 28 April :: 2.18 pm
:: Music: Jet-Look What You've Done

I'm sorry for making you hate me.
I didn't mean to do any of that.

I really don't mean to hurt people on purpose.
Especially you.

I forgave you,
but can you forgive me?

1 tulips | bloom

[ xsilentxsuicidex ]

:: 2005 30 March :: 11.02 pm

I know it seems selfish to want him back here... But, I can't help it. I really wish he'd come back, but it would be so much worse for him.

Nothing can ever go right. And I'm sorry that I'm so selfish.



[ dabestyougot69 ]

:: 2005 5 March :: 1.41 pm

Whats ur opinion
and yet another heart ache
crushed upon my heart
im wanting to leave this life
im wanting to depart

from something that i used to be
i only wish to go
some place that im wanted
where no one has to kno...

the past that i once lived
all the torment and heartache
when i think about the pain i felt
i slowly start to shake

what is it that im feeling?
u can never feel the pain
that i feel everyday
its nothing that i gain

i hate the life i live
im wanting to just die
because i feel so much pain
all i want to do is cry...

2 tulips | bloom


[ dabestyougot69 ]

:: 2005 5 March :: 12.35 pm

1.Forest green
3.blood red
Your name is:Kelli
You love:to hate
You want:icecream
You wish:I was sane
You have:bandages
You need:


[ xsilentxsuicidex ]

:: 2005 1 March :: 8.34 pm

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I can't get my point across without hurting someone.
I'm sorry I've been so bitter and cold recently.
I'm sorry we chose such a bad time for this.
I'm sorry I miss you.
I'm sorry that I'm stupid.
I'm sorry that I do stupid things.
I'm sorry for ever hurting your feelings; For ever making you feel like less of a person.
I'm sorry that I'm ugly.
I'm sorry that you have to put up with me.
I'm sorry I'm a bad girlfriend.
I'm sorry for being a failure...

But most of all, I'm sorry for feeling sorry for myself.

This is life, this is love, this is struggle, this is war.

--The Almighty Dana


[ xsilentxsuicidex ]

:: 2005 1 March :: 8.24 pm

Give me three random colors
1. Black.
2. Green.
3. Purple.
Your name is: Dana.
You love: John.
You want: To better myself.
You wish: I could be near John.
You have: Insomnia.
You need: Friends and music.


[ paperheart ]

:: 2005 28 January :: 9.27 pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Hope & Faith [on tv]

Give me three random colors.
1. Pink
2. Blue
3. Green
Your name is: Rebecca [Becky]
You love: Jacob :)
You want: to spend the rest of my life with the person I love.
You wish: I could be a better friend sometimes.
You have: Jake, Family, & Myself
You need: to change

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