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:: 2006 13 August :: 8.35 pm

The sun brings its haze
The clutter of days
You can't find your dawn
So stuck in your ways
But all you can say is
"The moment has passed now
but where has it gone?"

You wake up, only to find
There was no peace of mind in your sleep
You wake up, the dreams that were there are
The memories you can't seem to keep

Another day, you walk this spinning wheel
Forgetting how to feel
And how long since it took your breath away
Don't spend another minute trying to
Find out where the moments have gone

You wake up, only to find
There was no peace of mind in your sleep
You wake up, the dreams that were there are
The memories you can't seem to keep

So lost in this place
The lines on your face
Were built by your mind

All of this time
When does love decide
Now to shake you up, wake you up?

You wake up, only to find
There was no peace of mind in your sleep
You wake up, the dreams that were there are
The memories you can't seem to keep

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 12 August :: 11.02 pm
:: Music: Where The Falls Begin by Mae

words of yours

i'll always love you -to- only sometimes
i'll never leave -to- until now
i promise -to- that doesnt count
i'll never lie -to- i just didnt tell you
always and forever -to- not anymore

things you said you would never do
now become true
i should have seen it coming,
i should have seen it coming.
unspoken words are left unsaid
lies, well i guess that's what you fed
to me.
i never saw it coming,
i never saw it coming.
you said you were changing
stupid of me to think that was true.
stupid of me to think that would be something you would do
i dont want to waste another day,
wodering where the memories we shared
went to stay.
i never wanted it that way.

love is forever
and that will never change
well if that was true
then there wouldnt be a love game.

i should have seen it coming
but i never saw it coming.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 15 July :: 10.45 pm

i wish i hadnt let you fool me
then things would have turned out so differently.
you should always keep promises
because you never know
who will be remembering.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 15 July :: 10.33 pm

because words once said
have disappeared
as if they were never there.
because you could never hear
me begging for you inside.
wishing wanting
factors of you always held close.
i wish more than anything
for you to mean the words you said
instead of snatching them
right out of my hand.
i wish it never began.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 15 July :: 10.28 pm

Believe Me


Yeah, see that
I guess that this is where weíve come to
If you donít want to
Then you donít have to
Believe me
But I wonít be there when you go down
Just so you know now
Youíre on your own now
Believe me

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 8 July :: 10.37 pm

its funnie how i didnt even have to look
to know exactly what it was.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 8 July :: 10.27 pm

wow yeah
that really makes me mad
people
gosh
sometimes people need to mind themselves
today was a bad day.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 3 July :: 9.32 pm
:: Music: The Alamo Is No Place For Dancing By The Scene Aesthetic

set myself up for failure
i should have seen this one coming
but no one sees whats creeping up from behind
its a flaw set from the beginning.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 3 July :: 9.07 pm

im give up
i really do.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 28 June :: 11.32 am

You're driving me crazy
I just want to get away from the place
Away from all the things you said
Away from all the things I wish you did.

I shook myself awake
To break away from this nightmare
You're face haunted me again in this dream
I don't know how much longer I can take it.

You were right you were right
How does it feel to be right?
Every night, every dream
You remind me
Reminding me of all the mistakes I've made
Every wrong turn
How does it feel to be right?

Don't tell me I did this to myself
I didn't know what I was getting into
Oh please, why didn't someone just warn me
The signs were so unclear.

You were right you were right
How does it feel to be right?
Every night, every dream
You remind me
Reminding me of all the mistakes I've made
Every wrong turn
How does it feel to be right?

I thought by now things would change
Closer to the way they were
So funny how things get so twisted
So fucked up how we become so screwed.

How does it feel to be right?

Please dont try to figure this one out
I drifted out too far to be saved
This ocean is taking me in.
Silent cries, sleepless nights
Too afraid to sleep, in fear I might see you there.
If only you knew how much you're taking over
I just want to get you out of my head
Please just get out of my head
I can't take it anymore.

You're driving me crazy
I shook myself awake
You were right you were right
Don't tell me I did this to myself
I thought by now things would change
How does it feel to be right?
Please dont try to figure this one out
I can't take it anymore.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 3 June :: 12.40 am

you said: "there are plenty of others who are better."
"who? ryan?"
you: "no"
"who?"
you: "i dont know"
"him?"
"yeah, he would be the best."

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 25 May :: 11.54 pm
:: Music: Unfaithful by Rihanna

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 23 May :: 12.04 pm

you're haunting me
while i sleep.
its tearing me up
inside.
and i think
its driving me crazy.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 21 May :: 12.18 pm

i cant believe i was crying to him about
you.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 16 May :: 7.34 pm
:: Music: Summertime by Mae

did you think i wouldnt find out
or was it that you thought i was too stupid to do so.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 15 May :: 10.55 pm
:: Music: All Hail The Heartbreaker by THe Spill Canvas

what if i ripped you heart apart at the seams
maybe then you'd know how i feel.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 14 May :: 8.51 pm

tidal waves,
they rip right through me
tears from eyes,
worn cold and sad
pick me up now,
i need you so bad.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 14 May :: 8.36 pm
:: Music: A Decade Under The Influence by Taking Back Sunday

to hell with you and all your friends
i got a bad feeling about this.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 14 May :: 8.19 pm

so my dream last night
cleared up a lot of stuff.
like i wish it really happened, but at least
in the dream we had a good talk.
and we cleared up a bunch of stuff that i never told you.
maybe thats what it was for.
i love you.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 14 May :: 12.37 pm

that was so my thing.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 12 May :: 10.16 pm

i did not expect to standing there
at three o'clock
crying in julianna's arms.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 11 May :: 11.08 pm

i pressed off,
and cried till the nights end.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 11 May :: 8.26 pm

so i had an usually good moment in my day right before the end of 4th period.
until 3:13.
it was more or less like the usual slap in the face.
i tried not to look back, but i was disappointed with my ability to fight my desires.
its funnie what a great part timing plays..

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 10 May :: 10.04 pm

because i have to block out thoughts of you
so i dont loose my head.
because life has a funnie way of biting you in the ass.
because we lost it.
because i lost you.
because of 2005.
because of your corny jokes.
because i never thought i'd end up feeling like this.
because of every day at 4.
because you'll be happy.
because i watched you grow up.
because you're my regret.
because you moved away.
because it happened so fast.
because it never happened at all.
because of your hair.
because we were young.
because we still are.
because of them.
because of notes, letters, and cards.
because of birthdays, christmas and valentines day.
because of your eyes.
because of our songs.
because of late night phone calls.
because of our dinner dates.
because of hide and seek.
because this is all so clear.
because i wish i didnt feel like there was something i missed.
because of cuts, scrapes and bruises.
because of slaps in the face.
because of your rescues.
because i didnt think i would find you here.
because i didnt think all promises would be broken.
because this means nothing now.
just
because.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 6 May :: 1.27 pm
:: Music: What A Sight by Matchbook Romance


what a sight
never thought i'd find you here
last i knew you'd disappeared
we all get lost.

i thought i
had lost you amongst the mess
and the cluttered things in my head
but here you are.

when you wake
i'll be a thousand miles away
from the promises i made
and all our love.

i'm a dreamer
with nothing left to dream
trying to tear a hole in the seam
of reality

don't ever forget me [x2]
i thought i lost you
thought i lost you
i thought i lost you

thought i'd lost you amongst the mess
and the demons in my head
but here you are

i would leave
to return more lost than before
a little more tired a little less sure
of where i was

the earth would move but
we would stand in place
hide in the shadows of the day
we're almost out of time
yeah we're almost out of time

don't ever forget me
i thought i lost you

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 5 May :: 12.22 am

heart breaking
bones aching.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 3 May :: 7.51 pm
:: Music: Clark Gable by Postal Service

I want so badly to believe that "there is truth, that love is real"

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 3 May :: 7.48 pm
:: Music: Goody Like Two Shoes by Matchbook Romance

They're all asleep, they'll never know
We'll escape through your window
And they're onto us
But this time is ours
There are reasons for what I did
It wasn't some vile attempt or accomplishment
It was innocent you know

La, ladada, lada, ladada, lada, ladada, lala

Nurse, something for the pain
Something to make this guilt go away
You're forgetting us
You're forgetting everything
And I wanna hate you for my mistakes
I hate you for everything
This is goodbye, this is always

We're covering up our tracks
And living in secrets
We can learn to love life
Or learn to love pain
And if you still hear my voice
Than give me a sign, let me know
You're still here, like it or not

But wait, what do we have here?
Who's that dress for?
Let's keep toasting to innocence
And drown our regret
Let's have no recollection of any of this
Don't wait up for me
I'll be taking swings at a ghost while you're laying down,
playing dead right in front of me

We're covering up our tracks
And living in secrets
We can learn to love life
Or learn to love pain
And if you still hear my voice
Than give me a sign, let me know
You're still here like it or not
Like it or not

My heartbeat was louder than
The sound of my steps to your door

You're cold but you're beautiful
You're a mess but I like it that way
I'm a fool, but only a fool knows a miracle
And I won't ask for anything
No, I won't ask for anything, ever again
Just give me this one thing, that's all I ask
That's all I ask

Don't wait up for me
Well I'll be taking swings at a ghost while you're laying down
Laying dead right in front of me

We're covering up our tracks
And living in secrets
We can learn to love life
Or learn to love pain
And if you still hear my voice
Than give me a sign, let me know
You're still here like it or not
Like it or not

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 2 May :: 6.24 pm

im sorry i dont have a cute little nick name.
im sorry if i get jealous
im sorry im annoying
im sorry i dont throw my self all over more than already do.
im sorry if i'm stupid enough to think it would work
im sorry im not easy enough
im sorry i dont speak that language.
im sorry my hair doesnt fall the right way
or my make up never looks right.
im sorry i even wear make up.
im sorry i never cheated.
im sorry if i wanted you to be happy.
im sorry i dont live off of false hopes.
im sorry if i dont write pity letters.
im sorry if i hurt you.
im sorry if i just seem to rub you the wrong way.
im sorry if i expect more
im sorry i lied.
im sorry i never told you all the things i wanted to say.
im sorry i couldnt give you what you wanted.
im sorry i let you slip away.
im sorry i never seem to fit.
im sorry im not fun.
im sorry if i actually wanted to talk
im sorry i dont make good enough time.
im sorry for the things i never did right, for all the dissapointments, heart breaks, and all the things i did wrong.
lo siento.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 2 May :: 1.02 am

i never said it was simple at all
u just never try
u would be saying the same thing if u saw it
through everyone elses eyes


gimme a *winkwink*

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