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iT mUsT hAvE bEEn LuCk

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:: 2006 8 March :: 10.25 pm
:: Music: Like Me Real Hard by Mario

nevermind.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 8 March :: 7.46 pm
:: Music: Avondale by Yellowcard

yeah so basically my mom walked in on us
and it was like the worst possible time
and yeah.
i feel like shit.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 7 March :: 7.44 pm
:: Music: Cigarette by Yellowcard

so i basically was having a ok day until
i looked at my planner and realized what day it was.
and then my heart
s
a
n
k
so low.
5 months

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 7 March :: 9.01 pm

you are such overkill

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 6 March :: 7.25 pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Vol de Nuit by The Paul Schwartz Project

oh my gawwww
yeah thats the song for my solo.
and im almost finished with it.
i edited the solo song by myself, but the end sounds crappy. i cut of 10 secs in the beginning and then cut the music at 2min 9 secs so the song is 1min59secs. right at the 2 min line to arts recognition.
i dont really like my solo but its due tomorrow and its gonna have to do.
after this i still have my sourcebook, spanish test tomorrow and then dance journals to do so im stressin
i need to get this done so im out.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 5 March :: 7.13 pm
:: Music: We're So Far Away by Mae

its amazing how one word can completly change my g o o d day at work
to
a not so good day.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 4 March :: 9.56 pm
:: Music: What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry
Every once in a while even though goin on with you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again i pretend i'm okay but that's not what gets me

What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watchin you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seein that lovin you
Is what i was tryin to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere i go
But i'm doin it
It's hard to force that smile when i see our old friends and i'm alone
Still harder gettin up, gettin dressed, livin with this regret
But i know if i could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that i saved in my heart that i left unspoken

What hurts the most, is being so close
And having so much to say
And watchin you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seein that lovin you
Is what i was tryin to do

What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watchin you walk away
And never knowing, what could have been
And not seein that lovin you
Is what i was tryin to do

not seein that lovin you
that's what I was tryin to do

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 4 March :: 12.00 am
:: Music: Impossible by Christina Aguilera feat Alicia Keys

he got it stuck in my head

so today,
yeah omgawwwwwwww it was so damn sunny i wanted to go to the beach so bad and i dunno when i'll ever be able to.
nothing new nothing exciting.
hmm yeah ok.
bye.

"How long can emotions keep on goin' up and down"

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 2 March :: 8.20 pm
:: Music: Love by Keyshia Cole

ahhh
today i wanted to go to the beach so bad todayyyyyy.
i think me and kristie will being going sat, except its going to be kinda chilly... :( makes me sad.
so um yeah my total prom spendings rank up to be about $640... and thats a little bit ridiculous.
so i dunno how thats going to work..
im am extremely stressed out because i slacked so much this quarter i'm a tit bit behind. and i think i'ma just give up.
no i cant... ahhh
im working all this weekend and it sucks cuz i cant go to beach on sun when its actually gonna be like 75, but i need as many hours as possible because i have a lot of expenses...
ok so i really need to fo this english thing.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 28 February :: 10.58 pm
:: Music: Time by Chantal Kreviazuk

lyrics for the song i might use for my solo

Time, where did you go?
Why did you leave me here alone?
Wait, donít go so fast
Iím missing the moments as they pass
Now Iíve looked in the mirror and the worlds getting clearer
So wait for me this time
Iím down Iím down on my knees Iím begging for all your sympathy
But you (Iím just an illusion) you donít seem to care (I wish that I could)
You humble people everywhere (I donít mean to hurt you)
Now Iíve looked in the mirror and the worlds getting clearer
Iíll take what you give me. please know that Iím learning
So wait for me this time
I shouldíve know better
I shouldnít have wasted those days
And afternoons and mornings
I threw them all away
Now this is my time
Iím going to make this moment mine.
(I shouldnít have wasted those days)
Iíll take what you give me. please know that Iím learning
Iíve looked in the mirror
My worldís getting clearer
So wait for me this time

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 28 February :: 9.21 pm
:: Music: Headlock by Imogen Heap

i cant believe i even considered it.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 28 February :: 8.39 pm
:: Music: Time To Waste by Alkaline Trio

262 calories lost
10.25 miles
32 carbs burned.
in 100 crunches i'll be on my way to a skinnier me for that dress.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 28 February :: 6.04 pm
:: Music: These Days by Chantal Kreviazuk

i think im giving up on life.
it seems like nothing i do is right.

i ordered my prom dress and got that out of the way, i just have loose 2 inches around my waist so thats my mission for the next month.
which means dieting and working out.
i hate dieting, i get really cranky and depressed because i always eat a butt load when im sad.
it seems to work... i can see now how people get fat.
i still need to figure out who i'm going with in like a week or two because i need to hurry up and get tickets so i cant spend money for awhile :(
im really stressing over school, and in 2 weeks i have to have a solo ready which isnt that hard but i cant find a song and its killing me.
because this is going to be in a concert.
i hate dance.

um yeah so i have to go now i have a lot of homework.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 26 February :: 11.00 pm
:: Music: Letters To You by Finch

that really hurts my heart.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 26 February :: 12.30 am
:: Music: Its Better To Have Loved by Temposhark

its my new myspace song

work today.
it wasnt all that bad considering i hadnt been in a like a bajillion years.
i scheduled off the last 4 days of spring break cuz i think i'm gonna go down to melbourne to visit my aunt and uncle.
and check out theyre beach
and check out macy's. lol.
we picked ryan up after work at 10
but he's been weird lately i dont know.
oh and hes been getting on my aol account and that really bothers me,
he stayed and watched this movie with my parents for like a half hour so i went to sleep cuz i told him to come with me but he didnt so i dunno.
i told him i was going to josh's prom and he said it was ok.. i dunno
oh and early he said he would buy my prom dress.. even though he wont go with me. and even though its 328 dollars.
i think i have doubts he will.
we took him home at 12.
i dont know anymore.
you just dont get it.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 25 February :: 2.12 pm
:: Music: Headlock by Imogen Heap

i have to be at work today at 5
and i dont feel like going today because im not in a very good mood.
and it seems like i havent been to work in forever cuz i called out 3 times for having brochitus.
so.
historical concert was yesterday and thursday
josh came both days
my parents came last night
im just so tired.
oh and this solo concert thing theyre making all the juniors do is ridiculous.
im stressing cuz there are no songs i like enough to do the kind of dance i want to do,
oh well.
oh my dress is $328. i was hoping to stay under 200, but i guess not.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 25 February :: 1.11 pm
:: Music: Comfortable by John Mayer

can't remember, what went wrong last september
though i'm sure that you'd remind me, if you had to
our love was so comfortable and
so broken in.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 24 February :: 4.37 pm
:: Music: Firewater by Yellowcard

lyrics

You sat me down beside myself
To show me all the reasons I was wrong for you
Was this for real? It's hard to tell
'Cause it was such a beautiful mess we had got into

I'm gonna overcome this paper heart and win this time
And all along, I should've known this wasn't your dream, it was mine
I know you wanted me to give up this life to be
Everything I was back when you had the hands my heart was in
I was never good at goodbye

Can I swallow this bottle whole?
So, this brain in my head
Can forget your face

When we were starting out, you believed in me without a doubt
You were the finest thing to happen to a boy like me
It's so much harder, now, I wanna try and tell you how
There is so much love in me, even though it's hard to see
I was never good at goodbye

Can I swallow this bottle whole?
So, this brain in my head
Can forget your face
Can I swallow this bottle whole?
'Cause I'd rather be dead
Then make more mistakes

Today I couldn't stay awake
Feels like I'm drowning in this firewater lake
I won't be sleeping much tonight
It's not the same without you lying by my side
Right beside me

I know you wanted me
To give up my life to be
Everything I am, when you're the
Only thing that I can see
I'm sorry, but you're not the
Not the only one for me

You left me, here, beside myself
Left me with all the reasons I was wrong for you.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 24 February :: 4.12 pm
:: Music: Time To Talk by Open Hand

that was definately awkward.

i had to bit my to keep from crying.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 21 February :: 11.34 pm
:: Music: Goodnight and Go by Imogen Heap

even though shes you bestfriend
i know there is something there between you two.
i know.
i read it. i hear it. i see it.
i knew you were too good to be true.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 21 February :: 8.55 pm
:: Music: Are You In? by Incubus

is it because love consumes our lives so much
that it effects when we eat and sleep?
is it because i never told you how much i cry.. about you?
is it because i know more than i want to or even should?
is wrong i cant get you out of my head?
i know exactly how she feels.
you have no idea.
and i like it that way. no questions. no feelings getting hurt.
because mine dont matter.
you just hurry up and leave... maybe then i'll get over you
for once.
god
i cant believe im doing this
again.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 21 February :: 8.48 pm
:: Music: Goodnight and Go by Imogen Heap

Why'd you have to be so cute
It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 21 February :: 8.26 pm
:: Music: Empty Apartment by Yellowcard

there you again.
god.
you're so disappointing.
and youdontevenknoe.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 20 February :: 9.10 pm
:: Music: Firewater by Yellowcard

"Not all girls appreciate nice guys. There's not many left out there...."
dont i know it..

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 20 February :: 8.59 pm

i've decided on my prom dress
and i am soooooooo excited.
only... one problem
i dont know the price....
or how it fits :(

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 20 February :: 8.14 pm

is it wrong?

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 20 February :: 12.23 pm
:: Music: Letters To You by Finch

it's because i want to kiss you.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 19 February :: 9.14 pm
:: Music: Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap

Hmm, what'd you say, mmm, that you only meant well?
Well, of course you did.
Hmm, what'd you say? mmm, that it's all for the best?
Of course it is.
Hmm, what'd you say? mmm, that it's just what we need
You decided this?

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 19 February :: 8.51 pm
:: Mood: currently hating life
:: Music: When You Touch Me by Brandy

so i am still sick.
its rediculous... i called out 3 days for work im been so sick.
i am feeling better though i just have a stuffy nose and this terrible cough that burns in my chest.
i have a lot things to say about a lot of different people by i dont know how to say it.
cuz i'm jealous. why? i dont know but i know that she's good for you and now that she'll make you happy.
you deserve to be happy and i know you're the one i let get away but its cool
my mistake.
i have many.
i lied you. i know its horrible, but i cant stop lying and it hurts me, but you dont even know. you're so blind to it.
oh my gawd. that song on your thing just came on. god why do i always have to think about you.
when i think about you, us, i remember how happy i was and you took me away from all the things that were going wrong.
you were my bliss.
i dont know when but it all came to dark turn .
i dont even know you anymore. we hardly speak.
i look at you and i see a picture, a frozen frame from a far away memory in which i held to dear.
and then, i cant help but laugh when i watch you
you are everything i have wanted, but cant have.
i know blahblah things happen for a reason blahblah but i cant help but sit here and wonder what you think about her.
is it really that important?
should i even care?
i dont think so but i do and it hurts, and it hurts to be so confused.
when you touch me everything changes,
you smile,
your kiss
your voice
your breath,
i look in your eyes, i see
i see
love.

gimme a *winkwink*


:: 2006 19 February :: 2.18 pm

let your waves crash down on me
and take me
away.

gimme a *winkwink*

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