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and this is what I call life...

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:: 2005 23 April :: 6.05 am

I'm not going to feel good once I go to bed and wake up. That's if I can go to bed. One of my friends is passed out on my bed, another one is sleeping on the floor. Seven shots is probably the most I've ever had. But the four of us finished a fifth of captain's and half a fifth of vodka twist. Ick. Just talking about it makes me a little sickish. My roommate walked in to quite a sight though. But he didn't care. He's a nice guy. I also found out that he has some pot in the room. I don't care about that, but him and one of my other friends were talking about getting me high. Honestly, I am a little curious to see what it's like. Okay, very curious. But I need to do homework all weekend like a mofo. goodnight.

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2005 5 April :: 2.34 am
:: Mood: stressed/depressed/anxious/nervous
:: Music: get up kids "is there a way out?"

something's wrong but I don't know what
My mind has been racing all night, all evening really. Even at theresa's surprise birthday party, I was pretty quiet. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I've been more tired than usual and I'm falling behind in my school work. I know that I'm happy here at Loyola. I was just thinking today about how much I've grown since high school, and it's incredible. I'm much more of a real person, although I'm sure I still have a ways to go. As bad as this sounds, I think new experiences, especially drinking, helped that. I was feeling bad about my drinking habits, but I've proven that I can exercise self-control so now it's not such a problem. I have a six-pack in my fridge. I think I'll have 2-3 beers this weekend, as long as I make it through this week of hell. I have to read an entire novel for honors, take a calc test, ace my econ midterm, and somehow do an honors paper by friday. Shit on me now. Tonight I walked down the pier with sara, theresa, and keith. It made me miss home and all the times spent at the beach in muskegon. Sara knew that something was wrong tonight. I tried to tell her there wasn't, but who am I kidding? Something's wrong, but I can't put my finger on it. I had an "undefineable uneasiness." So much so, that I decided to go out and buy a pack of cigarettes. I finally smoked an entire cigarette by myself, but it wasn't a pleasant experience. My throat hurts, my nose is runny, and the smoke still in my lungs is leaving a bad taste in my mouth. I thought it'd help to calm me. Maybe I did, but I don't know. Maybe I'm calm, but it didn't solve my problems. I should really give the pack to someone else. It's bad because at the same time I feel peer pressure to smoke, even though none of my friends do. And now I feel ike an idiot. I hope sleep will help.

5 burns | Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2005 31 March :: 2.24 am
:: Music: motion city soundtrack "the future freaks me out"

my pulse
So life is busy, but good. Tomorrow I have my econ midterm which is 34% of my grade. Shit. This weekend I leave for Georgia. I'm going on an alternative break immersion to help build a house for habitat for humanity. The people are cool, but I'm going with a friend which hopefully will make it that much better. This month is going to be crazy. As soon as I get back, I have an honors paper due (not doing too well in that class). That weekend I have to go home and see catholic's play. Then on Monday I have to give a 12-15 minute speech which is 25% of my communication's grade. Don't know when I'm going to find the time to write and practice that one. Also that week i gotta apply for housing. Keith and I are gonna live together in the new dorm. If I get accepted into the Rome Program I'll only be here first semester, which is kind of sad, but something I need to do. I also gotta file taxes soon. More stuff to do. Then it's back home once more for easter. I don't think I've posted this on here, but saturday was crazy, and now I have a "pseudo-girlfriend." I'm paranoid and don't like titles so we're just not gonna label it and see where it goes. But it should be a fun ride. Also, two of my friends are in the same situation that we are. Weird. Let's just say saturday was crazy for everyone. To all my muskegon/michigan friends, I miss you tons. Chicago rocks, but it's just not the same without your familiar faces. If anyone's ever coming to Chicago, let me know and we'll hang out. Goodnight.

1 burn | Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2005 25 March :: 12.20 am

She asked if I was okay, if I was upset about what they have been saying about us. I told her no, that I was just stressed out.

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2005 24 March :: 3.56 pm

Slightly stressed out, completely undersexed, suffering from a chronic cold, unmotivated, lacking energy, fed up, skipping class, cramming, swapping notes, being unproductive, constant want of entertainment, missing chocolate, random boners, need to work out, taking naps, taking more naps, avoiding homework, avoiding studying, eating late at night, talking online, checking my email way too much, fantasizing, zoning out, missing people, trying to connect, fearing the silence, fearing next year, not wanting to grow up.

2 burns | Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2005 29 January :: 11.36 am

Post this as a comment:
Put an X in the ( ) for the ones that apply to you:
(x) snuck out of the house?
(x) gotten lost in your city?
(x) saw a shooting star?
(x) been to any other countries besides the united states?
( ) had a serious surgery?
(x) gone out in public in your pajamas?
( ) kissed a stranger?
(x) hugged a stranger?
( ) been in a fist fight?
( ) been arrested?
( ) done drugs?
(x) had alcohol?
( )laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose?
(x) pushed all the buttons on an elevator?
( ) made out in an elevator?
(x) swore at your parents?
( ) kicked a guy where it hurts?
( )been in love?
( ) been close to love?
( ) been to a casino?
( ) been skydiving?
( ) broken a bone?
( ) been high?
( ) given someone a bruise?
( ) skinny-dipped?
(x) skipped school?
( ) flashed someone?
( ) had oral surgery?
( ) saw a therapist?
( ) done the splits?
(x) played spin the bottle?
(x) gotten stitches?
( ) drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour?
( ) bitten someone?
(x) been to Niagara Falls?
(x) gotten the chicken pox?
(x) kissed a member of the opposite sex?
( ) kissed a member of the same sex?
(x) crashed into a friend's car?
(x) been to Japan?
(x) ridden in a taxi?
( ) been dumped?
(x) shoplifted?
( ) been fired?
( )ever had a crush on someone of the same sex?
(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back?
(x) stole something from your job?
(x) gone on a blind date?
( ) had a crush on a teacher?
( ) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans?
(x) been to Europe?
( ) slept with a co-worker?
( ) been married?
( ) gotten divorced?
( ) had children?
( ) saw someone die?
( ) been to Africa?
(x) Driven over 400 miles in one day?
(x) Been to Canada?
(x) Been to Mexico?
(x) Been on a plane?
(x) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show?
( ) Thrown up in a bar?
( ) Purposely set a part of myself on fire?
( ) Eaten Sushi?
( ) Been snowboarding?
( ) Met someone in person from the internet
( ) Been to a moto cross show?
(x) had real feelings for someone you knew only online?
(x) taken partially nude/nude photos of yourself?
( ) been in an abusive relationship?
( ) lost a child?
(x) gone to college?
( ) graduated college?
( ) done hard drugs?
( ) tried killing yourself?
(x) taken painkillers?
(x) love someone or miss someone right now

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2005 16 January :: 1.25 am

I leave for chicago in 5 hours and counting. Awww yeah. Break's been alright, but I'll be glad to be back in chi town. I got to see everyone, although most people I only saw once during break. Last night I went to Katie T's house and we played bored games and talked. It was a nice evening. Plus, Katie's thinking about coming to visit me during midwinter break which would be awesome. On top of that, Katie F. is supposed to visit me the second weekend of feburary, Sara Wilson is supposed to come down and check out Loyola, and various other people may stop by. I just hope I can balance it all. Nick stopped by tonight and we played some card games and watched SNL. Tomorrow Brandi said she's gonna come up to Chicago. Even though I want to see my loyola friends and catch up, it'll be exciting if Brandi does drive up. She said we HAVE to go to the something corporate concert. Tickets are sold out but if we can get diggity. Well, I'm going to sleep or find something to preoccupy my time. Later.

2 burns | Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 21 December :: 3.40 am

FUCK! Does anyone want to go to Toronto? sucks hairy monkey ass.

1 burn | Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 20 December :: 1.00 am

I don't know. I just don't know. Things aren't the same. It's weird to be home. If you want to do something (keeping in mind that I can't technically drive), give me a call. Do it. Seriously. I'm going to go out of my mind.

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 15 December :: 2.38 am

Long Survey About Yourself

Created by bleedwithoutreason and taken 11969 times on bzoink!

What time are you starting this?2:05 am
Date of birth?09/30/85
Sex?yes please
Eye color?shitty brown
Where were you born?Ohio, USA
Number of candles on your last birthday cake?19
Pets?2 cats
Hair color?dark brown
Town you live in?split my time between chicago and muskegon
Favorite foods?tacos and quesadillas...yummm
Ever been to Africa?well, no.
Been toilet papering?Leitzow, 6th grade, haha
Love someone so much it made you cry?not sure about that one
Been in a car accident?yes, 2
Croutons or bacon bits?neither
Favorite day of the week?friday
Favorite resturant?Ed Debevics?
Favorite flower?uhm, how about a rose?
Favorite sport to watch?soccer and Xtreme anything
Favorite drink?apple juice
Favorite ice cream flavor?mint choc. chip
Warner Bros. or Disney?disney, even though they are evil
Favorite fast food restuarant?taco bell!
Carpet color in your bedroom?I don't have carpet in my bedroom
How many times did you fail your driver's test?0
Whom did you get your last email from?oddly, my dad
Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?Best Buy/ Circuit City
What do you do most often when you are bored?fill out dumb surveys like this
Most annoying thing to say to me?whats up, bitch?
Bedtime?whenever I feel like it
Favorite TV show?I love the 90s
Last person you went out to dinner with?:hmm...bunch of friends at Bucca di Beppo's
Been out of country?Yep
Believe in magick?magick? what's that?
Ford or Chevy?ford
What are you listening to right now?get up kids
Have you ever failed a grade?well...I was held back in kindergarten
If you have, what grade did you fail?refer to question above
Do you have a crush on someone?yes
Do you have a bf/gf?sure
If so, what is their name?Bobina
How long have you been together?2 and half days
What are you wearing right now?pants and a shirt
Would you have sex before marriage?yeah, I think so, is that bad?
Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers?no, that's just wrong
Are you a virgin?you have no idea
Do you smoke?no
Do you drink?occasionally
Are you ghetto?haha, well...I'm white ghetto
Are you a player?I could be, but I don't think it's worth it
What are your favorite colors?blue and green
What is your favorite animal?a mouse
Do you have any birthmarks?yeah
Have you ever gotten your ass kicked?don't think so
Who do you talk to most on the phone?emily
Have you ever been slapped?dont think so
Do you get online a lot?I have ethernet at college - I'm always online
Are you shy or outgoing?shy
Do you shower?of course
Do you hate school?no
Do you have a social life?yep
How easily do you trust people?I give them my fuckin, I don't
Do you have a secret people would be surprised knowing?yeah, i think so
Would you ever sky dive?nope, never, no way, not if you paid me
Do you like to dance?sure
Have you ever been out of state?refer to question about going out of country
Do you like to travel?I like to go to new and exciting places...but I don't like the transporation procoess
Have you ever been expelled from school?haha, me? no way
Have you ever been suspended from school?refer to above
Do you want to get out of your hometown?HELL YEAH
Are you spoiled?maybe
Are you a brat?ohh, I hope not
Have you ever been dumped?nope
Have you ever gotten high?nope
Do you like snapple?yep - peach iced tea
Do you drink a lot of water?I drink a fair amount
What toothpaste do you use?crest
Do you have a cell phone?yep yep
Do you have a curfew?I'm at college, who'd give me a curfew? My roomie?
Who do you look up to?my friends. they're tall.
Are you a role model?some people would say so. me? no.
Have you ever been to Six Flags or Cedar Point?yeah
What name brand do you wear the most?american eagle
What kind of jewelry do you wear?indie bracelets
What do you want pierced?carteledge
Do you like takin pictures?I like taking pictures, yes. takin?
Do you like gettin your picture taken?no, not really
Do you have a tan?I think I'm oliveish, but still pasty.
Do you get annoyed easily?no
Have you ever started a rumor?no
Do you have your own phone or phone line?I have a cell phone
Do you have your own pool?no way
Do you prefer boxers or briefs?boxers...or boxer briefs
Do you have any siblings?yeah, a sister
Have you ever been played?
Have you ever played anyone?
Do you get along with your parents?
How do you vent your anger?I keep it bottled up until I explode...or I go ranting to woohu
Have you ever ran away?I thought about it before
Have you ever been fired from a job?I have not been fired from 1/1 jobs
Do you even have a job?I'm a student ambassador right now, but that's not a real job.
Do you daydream a lot?yeah, sometimes I think I have ADD
Do you have a lot of ex's?no, not at all
Do you run your mouth?not really
What do you want a tattoo of?nothing
What do you have a tattoo of?nothing
What does your ex bf/gf look like?let's not go there
What does your most recent crush look like?a hottie with a body
Whats her/his name?anna
Have you ever been bitched out?oh my gosh, yes, many, many times
Are you rude?sometimes, but that's only by accident
What was the last compliment you recieved?"you rock"
Do you like getting dirty?no, but I like getting clean
Are you flexiable?not really
What is your heritage?american indian...haha, no. English/German/Irish
What is your lucky number?87
What does your hair look like right now?long, brown, flat, crappy
Could you ever be a vegetarian?yes, but definitely not vegan
Describe your looks?stout
If you had to completely dye your hair it'd be what color?black...or blue...or red
Would you ever date someone younger than you?yeah, but not very much younger
Would you ever date someone older than you?hmm...yeah, but not very much older
When was the last time you were drunk?a few weekends ago...not fun
How many rings until you answer the phone?however many rings it takes to get there
Have you ever been skinny dipping?nope
If yes, when was the last time?your mom
When was the last time you went on a date?it's been forever..I should work on that
Do you look more like your mother or father?ewww, I've been told I look like my dad
Do you cry a lot?not externally
Do you ever cry to get your way?no, because I won't get it
What phrase do you use most when on the phone?"whats up" "that sucks" "that's awesome"
Are you the romantic type?ideally, yes
Have you ever been chased by cops?haha, do beach patrol count?
What do you like most about your body?it's ability to function as a body
What do you like least about your body?my short legs
When did you have your first crush?3rd grade maybe
When was the last time you threw up?last time I was drunk
In the opposite sex, do you prefer blondes or brunettes?blondes
Do you ever wear shirts do show your belly?alll the time
What about cleavage?yep yep
Is your best friend a virgin?that's questionable
Have you ever fucked someone up?oh, no
Have you ever been fucked up?yep
What theme does your room have?green
What size show do you wear?11
What is your screen name on AIM?skudo85
How are you feeling right now?tired/unaccomplished/lonelyish/pathetic/immoral
When was the last time you were at a party?tonight - at an honors party.
Have you ever given a lapdance?no, but I've been asked to
Have you ever recieved one?yes : D
Has there ever been a rumor spread about you?probably, who knows
What is one of your bad qualilties?I'm vulnerable, clingy, and shy
What is one of your good qualilties?I try to be a nice person
Would you marry for money?ideally, no. depends on who the bride was though.
What do you drive?nothing, riding the el is awesome
Are you more of a mommys or daddys child?mom's
Well?you make me sick
When was the last time you cried in school?4th grade? got hurt
Would you ever hook up with the same sex?if they propositioned me in a way that I couldn't refuse
What kind of music do you like?punk/rock/indie/emo/pop/hiphop/rap/techno/comedy/folky
Would you ever bungee jump?maybe, but probably not
What is your worst fear?messing up
Would you ever join the army?no, although I briefly considered it once
Do you like cows?yes, they give us milk, which is used for ice cream...
If you were to die today, what would you do?I would die, duh. I guess beforehand I'd tell all my friends I loved them
If you had one last word to say to someone before you die, what would it b?"I love you"
Do you like to party?from time to time
Hearts or broken hearts?what the hell?
Moons or stars?stars
Coke or pepsi?pepsi
Favorite scent?lucky's an aphrodesiac
Favorite band?I don't have a favorite
Would you ever dye your hair red?yes, of course
How many languages can you speak?5, but only 1 fluently
What time are you finishing this?2:37 am

Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink!

2 burns | Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 13 December :: 11.48 pm
:: Mood: distressed
:: Music: LP + JZ

not all at once, please
Okay, so something weird is up. I dunno what. There's this odd tension between my friends. I think it started because the 4 of us (Keith, Jessica, Sara D., and I all hang out a lot) but everyone's still friends with everyone. And then the three of them made bracelets for themselves and me because we're in a "band." Ugh. honestly, I feel so stupid for evening saying any of this. It sounds so much like middle school. Anyways, I wore my bracelet to dinner and then theresa asked about it and then things just got really weird. I guess Keith was pretty pissed off tonight. So Sara and I were discussing it while we were going to rambler room and he snuck up on us, right while we were talking about him. But I don't know if he heard anything or not. I asked him if he was mad about me telling theresa, but he said no. But I dunno. This is college. We're all adults here...sort of. I haven't studied sufficiently for honors. It might just kick my butt. Actually, I think we'll both give each other a few bruises. I'm expecting a B (+?) so I'll be disappointed if I don't get it. But I just realized tonight that if I would have actually studied sufficiently, an A range would've been possiple. Crap.

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 13 December :: 2.21 am

You Are Avril Lavigne!

A bit hardcore on the outside...
But sweet and sensitive on the inside.
"It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life"

Who's Your Inner Rock Chick? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 2 December :: 12.13 pm

Some New Things
Finals are in a week and half. I'm scared. But after that, things should be good. I found out that I'm going to Georgia over spring break to do a service project. I'm not sure if I want to major in marketing anymore, but I don't know what else I could do. I have to talk to my mom about emily and I going to torronto. If anyone else wants to come, this is me extending an invitation. It's 36 degrees outside. I don't know if I should wear a coat. My hair is long. Emily goes back to Muskegon friday. I don't know if I should ask my doctor for more pills or not. I have a pretty busy next couple days/weeks. Now I have Italian. Ciao.

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 30 November :: 2.48 am

First best friend: Bryan in NJ
First time away from home: Mexico @ 6 mo.
First job: G&L cook, ick
First screen name: jakafin - uhm, yeah
First self-purchased album: probably TLC CrazySexyCool or Chumbuwumba's album
First funeral: Grandma's
First pets: Two goldfish that died
First piercing/tattoo: eyebrow
First play/musical/performance: the Prince in "Puss in Boots"

Last kiss: a long time ago
Last hug: my mom?
Last good cry: a while ago
Last phone call: jessica
Last cd played: the Militia Group
Last item bought: baked cheetos
Last disappointment: not getting to see everyone over thanksgiving break : \
Last word spoken: see ya later
Last time wanting to die: sometimes when I wokred at G&L...
Last chair sat in: besides this one? the high chairs at rambler room

current clothes: t-shirt and jeans
current mood: bored/tired/numb
current music: O.A.R. "hey girl"
current hair: long and flat
current annoyance: the time on the clock
current smell: dorm smell
current thing I should be doing: reading Dante's Inferno

[name]: Justin G Burt
[people call me]: j-dawg, burt, jason!?!
[in the morning I am]: tired!
[i day dream about]: friends
[tall or short]: stubby
[born]: Sept. 30th 1985
[school]: Loyola
[sibs]: 1 sister
[right or lefty]: Righty

h a v e y o u e v e r
[been in love]: no
[lied]: yes
[given someone a bath]: do pets count?
[smoked]: nope
[bungee jumped]: no
[broken the law]: nothing major
[skinny dipped]: no
[cried to get out of trouble]: no
[fallen for the wrong girl]: yes
[cut your own hair]: no
[been mean]: yeah
[been sarcastic]: no way!
[fought with parents]: oh yeah
[skipped school ]: yes
[had an imaginary friend]: nope
[hooked up w/ a friend]: not really
[cried during a flick]: almost

w i t h t h e o p p o s i t e s e x
[what do u notice first?]: teeth?
[turn off-looks]: trench mouth
[turn off-personality]: ignorance/arrogance
[hair length]: not too long, not too short
[best height]: around 5'5"
[best weight]: whatever's healthy
[best article of clothing]: tank top
[easier to talk to: boys or girls ?]: Girls
[who do you cry with]: my pillow

w o r d a s s o c i a t i o n

[red]: blue
[cow]: grass
[grass]: green
[blue]: red
[mirror]: reflection of self
[cracker]: top
[zine]: U.S. weekly
[aol]: high speed my ass
[jelly]: jellyfish

t h i s o r t h a t
[day/night]: night
[summer/winter]: fall
[lace/satin]: satin
[tape/cd]: CD's
[lust/love]: love
[on phone/in person]: in person
[gold/silver]: silver
[scary/happy movies]: scary movies are funny

f a v o r i t e

[color]: blue
[Holiday]: christmas
[shampoo]: suave
[furniture]: my bed
[emotion]: estatic
[pepsi or coke]: pepsi
[fast food]: Taco Bell or Subway
[animal]: the stuffed kind
[sport]: soccer
[cartoon character]: Jimmy Newtron
[language]: English or French
[weekend activity]: watching movies, going downtown
[roller coaster]: something small
[store]: Best Buy

m o r e
[could you live without the computer?]: if I was constantly busy, yes
[how many peeps are on your buddylist?]: 80 or so
[like watching sunrises or sunsets]: sunrises
[what hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?]: emotional
[trust others way too easily?]: sometimes
[is cheerleading a sport?]: if they cover it on espn, yes
[houses lived in]: 8
[schools gone to]: 5-6
[bedroom carpet]: wood floor
[last film seen in theatre]: The Grudge

5 burns | Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 23 November :: 3.26 am

will be back in town friday. call if you want to do something/volunteer to give me rides ; )

Do you want to play with fire? | Random Journal