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:: 2004 20 November :: 4.25 am

True or false: I saw my friend who has a girlfriend kissing another friend. True. True or false: I was making out with sara. False. I gotta stop drinking. It's a bad habit. I feel sick.

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 17 November :: 2.28 am
:: Music: coldplay "the scientist"

(X) I have been drunk
(x) I have kissed a member of the opposite sex
( ) I have kissed a member of the same sex
( ) I crashed a friend's car
(x) I have been to Japan
(x) I rode in a taxi
( ) I have been in love
( ) I've had sex
( ) I've had sexual relations in public
(X) I've shoplifted
( ) I have been fired
( ) I have cut myself on purpose\
( ) I have smoked pot
( ) I still smoke pot :(
( ) I've had a 3-some
(X) I've snuck out of my parent's house
( ) I have been tied up. ( THAT way)
(x) I pissed on myself
( ) I have been arrested
( ) I've made out with a stranger
( ) I've stolen something from my job
( ) I've celebrated New Year's in Time Square
(x) I've gone on a blind date
(X) I've lied to a friend
( ) I've had a crush on a teacher
( ) I've celebrated Mardi-Gras in New Orleans
(x) I have been to Europe
(X) I've skipped school
( ) I have thrown up in a bar
( ) I have purposely set myself on fire
( ) I have eaten sushi
( ) I have been snowboarding
(x) I have been happy with myself
( ) I have met a movie star
( ) I had sex in a pool
( ) I went to a dance with someone of the same sex
( ) I've bungee jumped
(X) I have been to a pop concert
( ) I have dated someone for over a year
( ) I sold naked pictures of myself
(X) I have been in a car accident
( ) I have slept in the nude
(X) I've eaten cheesecake
( ) I've had jury duty
(X) I've hated someone without knowing them
( ) I have given oral sex
( ) I have recieved oral sex
( ) I've shot a real gun
( ) I've ran around with my trousers around my ankles
( ) I've had sex with someone within a week of meeting them
( ) I've done ecstasy
( ) I've gotten my ass kicked
( ) I've been caught smoking
(x) I've worn boxers
( ) I've milked a cow
( ) I've got in a verbal fight with a teacher
( ) I've cheated on someone
( ) had sex with a best friend
( ) Lied one time in this survey
( ) Lied more then once in this survey.
( ) Lied to a friend you see everyday
( ) Kissed a person that has a g/f or b/f
( ) Used ice cubes as a foreplay accessory
(X) Wasted time filling this out instead of doing something productive
( ) Have nude pics of yourself on your computer
( ) Walked across 8 lanes of interstate highway
(X) Have been to camp
(X) Have read books more than one time
( ) Have eaten cat food
(X) Have been pulled over by a cop (
( ) Own porn
( ) Am a Republican
(x) Likes classic movies
(x) Own a kitty
( ) Carried a lunchbox in high school
( ) Buy gumballs to watch them swirl in the machine
( ) Likes to be dominated
(X) Likes to drive with the windows down and the music turned up
( ) Eats PB &J for breakfast because there's nothing else

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 5 November :: 1.31 am

I saw black eyed peas last night and met one of the guys from the band. Fergie took too long and it started to rain. I had pizza at giordano's tonight. Tomorrow Joslyn's coming into town. I gotta start my homework.

4 burns | Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 1 November :: 1.10 am
:: Music: postal service "such great heights"

I wish I could cry
I feel terrible. I feel depressed. I feel sad for all my friends that are sad. I wish I could make them not feel sad, but unfortuneately, I do not think I can. I try to get them to open up and say what's wrong. Sometime's they do, sometimes they don't. Sometimes talking helps, but sometimes people don't want to talk. Why can't everyone be happy? Then again, what would life be without pain? A good thing about today is that I told Megan about the drinking thing and she was cool about it. I know what it's like to have people do stuff and not tell you, so I don't want to put her in that position. She said that she thought I might've been drunk but wasn't sure because I smelled like alcohol but was only a little more goofy than I usually am. We had a nice conversation about drinking. Megan's a good person. I respect her for her decisions and for the fact that she's cool with things. I don't know what it is but I feel like a shell at times. Now is one of those times. It's like I'm waiting for something that isn't coming. I really want to meet that one girl that just blows me away and will actually like me in return. I'm definitely blowing things out of proportion, but there is this one girl in two of my classes who I'm slowly (very slowly) getting to know better - and hopefully there's some sort of chance there. We'll see.

4 burns | Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 31 October :: 3.08 pm
:: Music: b182 "feeling this"

bottom of the bottle
Where to begin about this crazy weekend. Well, for starters, I got drunk friday night. Hahaha. First time. I feel bad because it was actually a lot of fun. I woke up with a slight hangover, but I remember everything. Some details were a little sketchy the next morning. Thersa, Sara, Sara D., Jessica, Keith and I all went to TKE. We had to pay $5 for cups but we could have as much beer as we wanted. It tasted gross, but I tried to down as many as I could. After last weekend, I wanted to get drunk - to see what it was like. I wasn't really keeping track of how much I had, but I think I had 7 or 8 cups in a matter of two and a half hours. It was strange because I didn't even think that I was drunk, but theresa and everyone was saying that I was, and now I definitely know that I was. I was singing and dancing and swearing and just being silly. I saw Laura, Ashley, and Nelly at the party. I think I surprised them by not only being there but by being drunk! But they said I was fun and told me I should come partying with them sometime. Oh man. I'm supposed to go to DePaul tonight, and I'm kinda hoping that there will be alcohol there - is that bad or what? Kendall and I had a nice long talk last night. A lot of the conversation was about none other than alcohol. She gave me some good advice: as long as I don't have to be drunk to have fun, I should be good. Well, so far I don't have to be - but it's turning into something that I want to do EVERY weekend! Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions. She also said that a lot of it right now is the novelty of it, and that it will wear off after a while. It was ironic because when Jessica and Sara took me and keith to the rambler room to get water, we bumped into none other than Megan, and I had to check in her friend Josh that night (he was staying in my room). I think I pulled it together, but she has to know that I had been drinking. Supposedly I almost tripped when I went to go to the bathroom? Hmm..don't remember that. But Keith was so much more gone than I was, that maybe she didn't notice me as much? I dunno. I'm going to talk to her about it sometime after her friend leaves. Matt had his friend Amanda spend the weekend too, so we had a total of four people sleeping in our room. It felt like one great big massive orgy, lol. Friday night was fun too, except everyone did their own thing. I woke up after only 3 hours of sleep and worked the open house. I only gave one tour, but I spent a good amount of time talking with Laura, so it was fun. Plus, my tour group was great even though it was EXTREMELY WINDY! Immediately after, Sara D. and I went to Graceland Cemetary with the D'Arcy Art Club. It was a fun halloween activity but kind of boring because the guy giving the tour was just a bad tour guide. We got to see a few famous graves, though, and walk inside the Piper Family Mosoleum. Later in the evening, after dinner, some people went to do homework, others went to watch Donnie Darko in mertz, but Sara D. and I went to a haunted cemetary. It was great. The place was called Haunted Sanitarium and it was at the Theater on the Lake. The line to get in was like an hour long, but it was worth it. They had a lot of things jump out at you. The best was the guy with the chainsaw and the guy chained up to the wall who broke free as we passed by. Sara as screaming so loud it was funny. I just kept laughing the entire time. Find the place was an adventure in itself. Originally, the bus we needed completed passed us by! Then when we finally got on the right bus, our driver stopped to go the bathroom, we got "pulled over" by a cop because some lost person needed a ride, we got blessed by the pope, who had a gay lover, and we walked all around looking for the place after we got off the bus. On the way back we saw a fox or something in the middle of this park. Good times. When we got back Sara and I were starving so we went to Togos for some food. We tried waiting for keith but he was on the phone for a long time so we just went. Rohin went with us, and Megan and Josh met up with us there. Well, I better get some work done so I can go to this party tonight...

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 30 October :: 8.18 am

I have a little bit of a hangover right now, plus I didn't get any substantial sleep (maybe 3 hours?). Last night I went to the TKE frat house with Theresa, Sara, Keith, Sara D., and Jessica. Wild and crazy times. I remember everything that happened, but I'm going to collaborate with some of the others tonight and fill in the details later. Does this make me a bad person?

3 burns | Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 25 October :: 4.15 pm

Okay, so I had some crazy dreams last night. In one of them, I was interviewing this 3 year old kid actor who was extremely intelligent and articulate. I was interviewing him in his van, and when I was done, his mom dropped me off on Seaway drive. For whatever reason I had a skateboard, a reallly big pencil, and a mini-skateboard. I rode the mini-skateboard, while pushing the regular skateboard ahead of me with the really big pencil. Well, I decided to joust them forward. Stupid idea. The skateboard and pencil went pretty far and made a few cars crash into each other at Norton and Seaway. The kid I interviewed died. I felt bad. The cops were coming, but they didn't repremand me, even though some witness was giving me a scoulding look. Out of nowhere, this car came by and told me to get in, so I did. This guy in the drivers seat was trying to console me, but he was like trying to come on to me at the same time...very weird. I had more dreams, but they're more vague. I think one of them had someone's sister in it, and oddly enough she's coming to visit in a few weeks, as I learned today. Then, when I was heading to class today, there was a car crash on Devon and Winthrop. Even though I got so much sleep in the past 2 days, I'm exhausted. I think I'll take a nap...

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 25 October :: 12.52 am
:: Music: new amsterdams "proceed w/ caution"

I don't know why I'm so exhausted. I went to bed at 4:30 and woke up at 12:30. Then after lunch I went to bed from 3:00 to 6:00. I don't even know where my day went. I got my math done, but barely. I'm still really far behind in my honors reading. Right now I'm taking a break. Thankfully, I didn't have a hangover this morning. I guess different people react differently to different amounts of alcohol. According to some people, I should've been drunk...according to others, it takes more. Hmmm...I still gotta talk to theresa about it. It's bad. I already want to go out drinking again, but I'm going to try and practice some self-control. Everything in moderation. Wow. I just remembered some of my dream(s) I had this morning. In one of them, Jessica Marsh came up to me (on a plane? or somewhere) and gave me a hug. She was really tall and really pregnant. In another one, my suitemate invited me into his room to play nitendo, but I kinda blew him off to use the bathroom? And I think my roomie might've been in one, but I don't remember. He just got back today from hanging out with his parents. Before I go, I forgot to post about the hispanic person at the 'el' last night. We were waiting for the blue line, and he was playing guitar and violin, tap dancing, AND whistling! It was amazing.

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 24 October :: 3.15 am

Oh man. Tonight might be one of those nights that marks off your life from the before and the after. I went to UIC with Theresa and Sara D to go to a party with a bunch of Schaumburg people. Theresa helped me with the drink selection. I started off with rum and coke, followed by coke and vodka, a shot of vodka, and sunny D mixed with vodka...good stuff. I met some cool people too, but mostly I just hung out with sara D because she's never drank before either and we decided to be drinking buddies. I have to have a little follow-up discussion with theresa tomorrow. I never felt drunk at all...I felt exactly like myself. I could articulate my sentences and walk in a straight line. I did feel a little dizzy though, and at one point my nose was a little tingly. I wouldn't want to black out or anything, but if that's all that happens, what's the point? Hmm. I hope this doesn't become a bad habit. I just gotta remember: everything in moderation. I was kinda funny because Sara D and I went back to loyola to see a movie at the ghetto plex and we completely missed our stop so we had to go back and wait for the next train. The movie was awesome though. I don't get scared by movies, but the Grudge made me jump quite a few times. Oh yeah - the "party" got busted but it wasn't bad. The RA at UIC walked by and saw the alcohol. She was cool though and only made Brian, the kid who's room it was, pour it one got written up. I guess if they do get written up they get handed over to chicago pd! wow. Well, I'm hoping I'll have a pleasant tomorrow morning...

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 23 October :: 3.58 am

So glad it's the weekend. I went to a student ambassador's meeting (which I got paid for - score!) and then went to creighton to hang out with sara d., her friend denny, and theresa. After dinner all of us plus rohin went to Halas and played ping pong and badmitton. Fun times. Sara P. returned to campus with Allison and Crystal, both friends from home. At that point, all of us decided to go down to Navy Pier to check out some haunted ghost ship, but we got there right when everything was closing, so we just walked around a bit. On the way, we found these hilarious paper condom-looking things that said random stuff like "the health department closed my legs." Hahaha. We headed back to campus, but Sara, Denny, and I went to Blockbuster to rent Night of the Living Dead (the original b&w version). That movie cost $2.11 to rent on VHS! Where's the 99cent favorites that we have back home? I didn't even get to finish the movie because of the stupid 2:00 am rule, but at least I have it for a week. I have to get up in six hours to do a 5K run with theresa. Later tomorrow night we might go to club PM for a bit and then head over to UIC for a party. Alcohol with definitely be involved. Hopefully no one does anything stupid. That's it for now... Hope all's well in michigan.

3 burns | Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 22 October :: 2.30 am

I am high on life right now. Yes! Kendall and I went to the Rambler Room at midnight for some very delicious chicken burritos. We got to discussing my film ideas. One of which is now on the road to actuality! Think Dodgeball, but not an underdog story. No, this is going to be a mockumentary on RACQUETBALL!!! Yes!! we're going to have a nerdy kid where r-ball is his life, yet he sucks; there'll be a fat kid, a token asian, and an obnoxious coach as well. Man, this will be an awesome project. I'm starving to express some creativity, and this will be the perfect chance. I gotta do some reading though...hopefully I'll be able to concentrate!

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 21 October :: 3.28 am

About two hours ago I was crazy. I had some coffee and I was definitely NOT myself...unless I have a hyperactive side, which I think most everyone will agree that I do not. Well, it kept me up for my italian homework. I have a quiz tomorrow. I still need to study. Tonight I saw Shrek 2 with Megan and Sara. Funny movie. My favorite character was Puss in Boots. This morning I was woken up by some construction guys walking around on the roof. I have no idea what they were doing! Matt got locked out of the room earlier, but the lock appears to be working now (crossing my fingers on that one). I called Katie tonight and she won't be able to make it this weekend. I was excited that I'd get to see her, but now it looks like that will be a while. That's okay. I'm falling behind anyways, and I need to catch up. Keith and I played some a fun version of ping-pong tonight...I'm helping him train for the 2008 olympics. As for myself, I'm the 1995 young national racquetball champion. Haha. I'm gonna look on ebay for a video camera. I have way too many good ideas for mockumentaries. Yes....hope I can find somthing cheap!

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 20 October :: 1.19 am
:: Music: tiny vessels - d. cab

Tonight was the big performance. Speak Truth to Power. It went alright. I'll admit, however...we've had better practice run-throughs. One point during my long-ass monologue, I made a few "alterations." I said "The leeches dropped from the ground and sucked our trees..." and then I tried to cover up by saying "sucked our blood." Not too many people caught on, but it was funny. I wanted to laugh. I felt bad for Charlie because he had a long monologue and he completely lost his spot. It must've taking him a minute to find it. Imagine being on a stage for a full minute, silent, with everyone watching you! Ahh. Theresa brought the President's Ball to my attention. I guess in november my high school is having a dance - oops, did I say high school? I meant college! lol. It's supposed to be fun though. I don't know who I'll ask. Maybe I'll be a pimp for the night, as theresa suggested. On my way back from the library tonight I was thinking about "who I like," when it occurred to me, that I don't think I really like anyone right now. Is that a problem? There is one girl who I think is amazing, but I wouldn't want to push a friendship into something it's not...that already happened to me once and didn't turn out good at all.

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 18 October :: 11.47 pm

I am exhausted, but I can't go to bed, not until Italian and English are done, and Italian's being a bitch. I went over to Theresa's room after dinner and got a lot of it done but still have a lot to go. It doesn't help that I got about 4 hours of sleep in the past 24 hours. I was up late working on my honors paper, but at least it's done. Rahi read it and said she liked it, so hopefully that means something good. Things are starting to get a little personal with my newfound college friends. But at least I feel like I can trust them. Right now some girls are singing loudly out their window. I think it's time to get my homework on...

Do you want to play with fire?

:: 2004 18 October :: 1.31 am

I must've taken four naps today, but I was tired. I drank two cups of coffee at dinner, so hopefully I'll be up for a while. Speak Truth to Power went well today. We practiced in the freezing cold, outside of Madonna Della Strada on the lake, but it was a good run-through. Tuesday is the real deal. I just got back from the gym and now I'm muching on cheese nips. I have one minute before I have to return to my honors paper which is due tomorrow. I'm still not done with reading Cicero, but right now he has to take a back seat.

Do you want to play with fire? | Random Journal