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yeah i'm crazy but i get the job done.

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mbenznut

:: 2021 7 September :: 8.44pm

"Wanna beer?"

"They got anything from a microbrewery?"

"Doubt it. In this county, we kick midgets, and they ain't dumb enough to put up with that, so what shorty's gonna run a brewery round here?"

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2021 30 July :: 4.38pm

Saying of the day, "easy as a pixie's snatch."

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


munkysaurus

:: 2021 3 January :: 9.36pm
:: Music: David Bowie - Lazarus

Time is not a stream, but a thick and chunky undertow...
Mr. J,

That's what Harley Quinn calls the Joker. But we both know that's not here or there.
You scallywag, how's the slipstream time-dream beauty Queen? :P I kid you, you're a wonderful soul for heeding the now with me.
But, isn't life such a rope finger's-length from grasp?
The puzzle is never truly solved, only provides more questions. Ideas so intimate in proximity, suddenly so distant. And the vice versa.
If time is a body of water-like substrate, is there a shore, beach or rocky precipice in which I may glimpse and enjoy it's better amusings?
Maybe it's you, my dear friend. Only a condensed series of switches held within place against the better of your nature. Anti-equilibrium :P I figured you out.

You know it's not time yet, but what does that even mean?
Maintain the heading and wind direction, let's rendezvous s'il vous plait avec vous chez du temps.

At all the hour <3

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


charlie

:: 2020 4 August :: 3.30pm
:: Music: JTB

They're playing love songs on the radio tonight. I can't relate to that right now.
I live in a hotel, I must keep writing
If I'm to be better than everyone else
Like figure skating, like asphyxiating
On your own seeping fumes, you're just waiting

Living in a hotel, I'm not traveling
Between two points, in midair I'm levitating
Above the earth, beneath the sky, with eyes like static
In my three feet from bed to wall sleeps a genius

Leave me here to my devices
The call could come at any time
They're playing love songs on the radio tonight
I can't relate to that right now

Note to self, no one cares, your voice is average
In worried piles I typed for miles, you just stood there
I will begin, I will put right this morning terror
I have been kissed between the ears with human error

Leave me here to my devices
I need a word to change my life
I've tied my ankles to the table legs with wire
He can't write so much as type

Leave me here to my devices
I can't think with all this noise
They're playing love songs on your radio tonight
I don't get those songs on mine

You keep fucking up my life
You keep fucking up my life
You keep fucking up my life
You keep fucking up my life

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


charlie

:: 2020 5 June :: 10.54pm
:: Music: WPE

Love how you disappear, if I need you
You're sleeping, I get that, I want you to know that I try
To figure out, where I'm going
And where I'm sleeping, and how much emotion is showing
And one can only imagine the things that you think of

I want to see the country, without goodbyes
But I can't afford that, so fuck my life

And all these guessing games
And they all just feel the same, and I'm sorry

When did I leave the seventh grade?

You feel sick, I'm tired, I don't even know what to say
My words can't make my problems go away

You say I lose things, that I can't find
There's no more covers, left to hide in
You say I'm lazy, incompetent, I'm always too tired to try
Everyone's stuck, living their "skewed up version of life"
And now I have a job, and Bobby's living in Tallahassee
I wish I had tried more

And all these guessing games
And they all just feel the same, and I'm sorry

When did I stop thinking this way?

I feel sick, I'm tired, I don't even know what to say
Your words can't make my problems go away

And all these guessing games
And they all just feel the same, and I'm sorry

When do I stop feeling this way?

I feel sick, you're tired, we don't even know what to say
My words can't make my problems go away

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


charlie

:: 2020 27 May :: 6.20pm
:: Music: A3

Well I'll sit here and convince myself it's true.
If you keep on telling your friends that we're through.
I've got nothing here but loneliness
Holes in walls and bleeding fists.
My head is pounding like a pillow, like a big black song.

Well my friends and I try to tell me you're gone.
Won't listen to myself or anyone.
You got on a plane and off you went.
You're never coming back again.

I'm trying to convince myself it's true.
Convincing myself
I'll be just fine without you. [x3]
I'll be just fine without you
I'll be just fine without you
I'll be here telling myself it's true.

I sit here trying to convince myself it's true.
But you keep on pretending you have no clue.
I'd kill for you and eat the flesh.
Give you the heart and burn the rest.
A thousand miles ain't shit to walk if I'm walking to hold you but

I'll be just fine without you
I'll be just fine without you
I'll be just fine without you
I'll be here telling myself
I'll be just fine without you
I'll be just fine without you
I'll be just fine without you
I'll be just fine without you
I'll be just fine without you
I'll be just fine without you

I'll be here telling myself it's true.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2020 5 May :: 6.03pm
:: Music: Rise Against: Savior

"Merlin's saggy bollocks," Ron swore softly.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


charlie

:: 2019 4 October :: 9.27pm
:: Music: Murder City Devils

So carve it in rock
I tears of prayer
Everyone knows
What it's called
Does a steamer help
I am I say
I am I cry
Inoculated safe
In my pale disguise
I too have dreams
They sometimes arise
I only have one thing to say
My only call
So carve it in rock
And let it be known
Here stands the asshole
Who dreamed of shitting gold
Here stands the asshole
Who dreamed of shitting gold
Here stands the asshole
Who dreamed of shitting gold
It's all I have to say
It's my only hope
It's the whole of my truth
It's the truth worth to be told
Might I tell
And fortunes unfold
May I be instead
Most of all
So carve it in rock
And let it be known
Here stands the asshole
Who dreamed of shitting gold
Here stands the asshole
Who dreamed of shitting gold
Here stands the asshole
Who dreamed of shitting gold
Here stands the asshole
Who dreamed of shitting gold

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


charlie

:: 2019 11 June :: 7.12pm
:: Music: Flatliners

Grab me by the throat. Your hands are freezing cold
And fingernails tear nice and slow. You know
I'm not afraid of all the things you think about
When you're alone swallowing your day

Hold on tight. Just hold on tight

Cataclysmic prose. Eye sockets will erode
When days to weeks to months seem half full
Yet I can't impose with another wilted rose
You'll feel this when you see how I've grown

We are broken men
Who shouldn't be saved just yet
Keep breathing. Stay broken
Our blood's boiled thin
You can taste it with every breath taken in

It's 2:30 AM. Years become layers of skin
I've shed them all but I'm not done yet
Heavy hearts my friends, come sing in unison
And drag me out of this hole I'm in

We are broken men
Who shouldn't be saved just yet
Keep breathing. Stay broken
Our blood's boiled thin
You can taste it with every breath taken in

Are you breathing?
Stay broken
I've earned my bitterness
My legs are planted firm in transit-stance
For this dead romance

Grab me by the throat. Your hands are freezing cold
And fingernails tear nice and slow. You know
I'm not afraid of all the things you think about
When you're alone swallowing your whole...

We are broken men
Who shouldn't be saved just yet
Keep breathing. Stay broken
Our blood's boiled thin
You can taste it with every breath taken in

We are broken men
Who shouldn't be saved just yet

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2019 24 February :: 8.05pm

Insult of the day: twisted cheese eating gnome.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


charlie

:: 2018 23 December :: 9.23am

I've spent so long thinking about how I've gotten old that I didn't even realize that my parents have also gotten old. In the last year they've had a total of five stays in the hospital and now I dread that this may be the last Christmas I have with both of them.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


charlie

:: 2018 25 October :: 4.04pm
:: Music: Menzingers

Waiting for your life to start, then you die? Was your heart beating in the first place?
Two years ago today I made a pretty big career change. Not that my old job was much of a career. It was a summer job I took just for the health insurance benefits so I could fix my back, but I ended up staying 12 years. I really enjoy what I'm doing now, despite still feeling a lot of shame for never finishing college. Years ago I was told that I'd never make anything of myself. Now after spending what has literally been half my life trying to prove otherwise, I'm just really aware of my failures. I don't even know what I was hoping to do specifically. I just wanted some sort of achievement upon which I could hang my hat that would make people go, "That Charlie is alright." I went about it all wrong too. I looked over my old posts on here and it was like I was just trying to amplify whatever parts of my personality I thought made me look cool, or witty, or sexy, or intriguing, or smart. I ended up making caricatures of myself. The struggling musician, the passionate lover, the lovable alcoholic, the political radical, the wounded artist. None of it was really me, just the narcissistic ideas of what I thought I should be. At the same time I'd constantly air my dirty laundry and bad mouth nearly every person in my life at one time or another. It was as if destroying them would lift me up and put me closer to being something special. I still don't know if I've amounted to anything, I probably never will, it's not my place to say. But if I truly had to define myself now at 35, I'd be forced to say, "college dropout, twice failed husband, decent electrician, and father." I like the last one. He's just as weird as I was when I was his age, I just hope he doesn't make as big of a mess of things as I have.

2 feet on the ground. | Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


charlie

:: 2018 16 October :: 4.48pm
:: Music: Ruiner

And in my free time I sing hardcore songs as heartfelt acoustic ballads
And what the fuck do I know?
But broken hearts, some unsung songs
I never had it hard it enough
So I drag my feet as much as I can
The product of excuses
Brave only compared to some
I consider myself a lucky kid
But I'm pretty good at fucking up
Young, Angry and White
A victim of the middle class
So much to prove
So much to say
When will I be done screaming?
Never take me seriously
Cause who the fuck am I
Just some awkward kid
From a shitty town
No different than any of you
Quick with exaggeration
Philosopher to some
But a story teller to anyone
Who, is truly listening
I'm inspired by
The fact that I
Still get out of bed
I'm over dramatic
Most of the time
Attention whore,
Known to be ill tempered
I got a way with fucking words

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


charlie

:: 2018 7 October :: 5.30pm

Eight years without an update.

Still the same person.

Still have my hairline, it's just grey as hell now.

2 feet on the ground. | Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2018 5 January :: 6.19pm

What happened to your eye?

I was attacked by a figgy pudding while having spontaneous sexual intercourse.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2017 29 October :: 4.07pm

I'm not scared. I'm rationally concerned.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2016 14 January :: 5.16pm

Nothing like responding to a war chant with big swinging dicks.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2016 1 January :: 6.21pm

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the P is silent.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2015 9 December :: 8.45pm

“You look—like you got a facial from a smurf.”

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2015 9 December :: 8.34pm

“You know what I like after sex?”

“What?”

“Ice cream.”

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2015 13 September :: 9.26pm

When was the last time you went to a family reunion where the police and fire department showed up?

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2015 22 March :: 1.11pm

It's long, hard, tasty.
Going where others cannot.
What, what, in my butt.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2014 15 November :: 7.19pm

HALE'S ORGASMS

Come for the name, stay for the desserts.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


munkysaurus

:: 2014 19 September :: 10.59pm

Against the laws of nature, the wings regrow!
Darwin, what was he thinking, writing such a thing as evolution! Noticing adaptation. The environment molding the organism!
What does Darwing think of love?! Is it austere, cold and calculating?
Love is a broad term if you think about it. It should be re-examined by a comity to be subjugated and redefined.
Even in science they allow the anomaly, the thing that redefines.
Mr. J, the world! The world is mine, I inherited it when I was born. Noone realizes this. It's mine, shortly, but I own a share; a portion.
And so, I will not be a product of my environment, but a shaper of the environment around me.
The river was cold, the travel was destitute and soggy, and scary.
But I decided when to fight against the current and swim towards shore.
My muscles burned, my perilous fall; shattering. But I swam, and I swim, and swim.
And the sun is warming on the shore. Now, where to go from here?
No time for a fire, I'll set this goddamn shore on fire with ambition.
Mr J., you understand! You've kept going all these years. Stay going.

Stay going!

You're still ravashing, Mr J., a looker if there ever was one. A roman statue.

- Me

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2014 19 September :: 6.54pm

"That's neither dinner nor sex," Derek said. "That's ice cream."

"You only say that because you've been doing both wrong."

1 feet on the ground | Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.

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