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mbenznut

:: 2017 29 October :: 4.07pm

I'm not scared. I'm rationally concerned.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2016 14 January :: 5.16pm

Nothing like responding to a war chant with big swinging dicks.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2016 1 January :: 6.21pm

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the P is silent.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2015 9 December :: 8.45pm

“You look—like you got a facial from a smurf.”

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2015 9 December :: 8.34pm

“You know what I like after sex?”

“What?”

“Ice cream.”

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2015 13 September :: 9.26pm

When was the last time you went to a family reunion where the police and fire department showed up?

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2015 22 March :: 1.11pm

It's long, hard, tasty.
Going where others cannot.
What, what, in my butt.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2014 15 November :: 7.19pm

HALE'S ORGASMS

Come for the name, stay for the desserts.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


munkysaurus

:: 2014 19 September :: 10.59pm

Against the laws of nature, the wings regrow!
Darwin, what was he thinking, writing such a thing as evolution! Noticing adaptation. The environment molding the organism!
What does Darwing think of love?! Is it austere, cold and calculating?
Love is a broad term if you think about it. It should be re-examined by a comity to be subjugated and redefined.
Even in science they allow the anomaly, the thing that redefines.
Mr. J, the world! The world is mine, I inherited it when I was born. Noone realizes this. It's mine, shortly, but I own a share; a portion.
And so, I will not be a product of my environment, but a shaper of the environment around me.
The river was cold, the travel was destitute and soggy, and scary.
But I decided when to fight against the current and swim towards shore.
My muscles burned, my perilous fall; shattering. But I swam, and I swim, and swim.
And the sun is warming on the shore. Now, where to go from here?
No time for a fire, I'll set this goddamn shore on fire with ambition.
Mr J., you understand! You've kept going all these years. Stay going.

Stay going!

You're still ravashing, Mr J., a looker if there ever was one. A roman statue.

- Me

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2014 19 September :: 6.54pm

"That's neither dinner nor sex," Derek said. "That's ice cream."

"You only say that because you've been doing both wrong."

1 feet on the ground | Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2014 27 July :: 9.04pm

"Oh come on, everybody's come across porn with thicker objects in an orifice than a few penises."

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


tuwang

:: 2014 1 July :: 3.02am

I will start this post by pointing out that I typed in my username and password for woohu without flinching even though it's been saved in my computer for 5 years (just built a new PC). I think that says something.

me references will be in italics. ;)

I will continue by saying that I miss me. I'm not entirely sure I know what me is anymore, but I'm pretty sure I miss it. As a disclaimer I will say that none of this is meant to be sad or foreboding in three at all. Just a rant.

I have this notion that any sense of self I had is gone with all the hobbies I used to have.

I understand that being 27 it is a totally normal thing to be unsure of direction and/or choice, what the fuck am I doing?

I had all these plans to do these big things (that weren't one-hundred percent attainable) and now here I am, a cog in the machine.

If I'm going to live in these conditions, I wish I was a teacher at least. At least then I might have the comfort of knowing I'm doing something for the future and our youth whether or not they give a shit (and usually I can't blame them if not).

I reflect sometimes and honestly feel like it's deserved. I've done many things that have warranted my conundrum. So self deprecating I is.

But then there's the other side. Considering I'm with a mother who's in a perpetual mental breakdown and a father who will hate you if the wind changes direction: I'm alive, I eat, I drink, I'm typing on a computer; things can't be that bad.

I almost blame my raising. The raising involving America being the best and being privileged just to be involved. I don't think it's the same anymore. We're not the best. I will soon be a part of a motion picture that someone in Sweden will watch and say "man, I'm glad I live here and not there regardless of how entertaining this drama is". Does that make sense? Basically I have a notion that we will soon be portrayed as less than first world. Not that less than first world is less than anything but... whatever this isn't the point.

My point is all I do is reminisce. I reminisce about times when I didn't have to think so much. I reminisce about the people who made thinking optional at most. I reminisce about love gone, love I wasted, love I should have valued. I was so carefree I felt like love was water; the most abundant of resources.

Now I'm aware; and too much so. I have a perspective of things I've done, things I'm doing, and things I will do. This is equal parts frustrating and enlightening. Equal parts "I want to apologize to everyone" and "want to stand my ground". If I hadn't made the shitty choices I've made in the past, I wouldn't be so enlightened but I wish I could go back and at the least prevent them or remake them.

I've been told by some of the people I love most that I'm not good enough for anything that is normal a lot of my life, when I was young and still today, and this has been the basis of my relationships since I was a tweenager (this is the only word in this post with a red scribble underneath it as I'm typing and I'm proud of that). I shouldn't have said that because now another mistake will be pointed out.

With this said, All i want is to know what I want. I want to know what is wantable. Is there something I should want? Want want want. Need Need Need.

That is all for tonight. Again, just a rant. Have a good night.

1 feet on the ground | Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


tuwang

:: 2014 6 June :: 12.09pm

Hi woohu. How have you been?

3 feet on the ground. | Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


munkysaurus

:: 2014 27 April :: 10.38pm

The difference isn't all that different, it's perception that's being percieved...
You like that title, Mr. J?

Mr. J, I gotta let you in on something.

Here's the thing, you sitting down? We're all scared. There, I said it. However, the thing I've seen is some people use these tools they've built, or acquired. Tenacity and integrity. Those aren't the only ones. But the good ones. And I mean good--like good and evil.

I can state this claim surely.

That fear, that's a driving force I've discovered. For lots of things, maybe everything! The fear is what turns the tide, what shifts the thought, the mind.

I've seen a lot of things, but I'm going to state the appalling thing is what drives most people. Not to stand against this force that is obviously so easily circumvented if a person were to only use a little effort.

Fear, fear, fear. Say it with me. It's causes things to stop, or to never have started with no real logical explanation or reason.

I think I speak for all of us when I say with utmost courtesy: FUCK YOU FEAR!!!

Having said that: I have to say that if I see those who succumb so easily to this feeble creature, this noun that shouldn't be such, I immediately think less of a person. I like to see people face that fucker and ascend what really is a very trivial and stupid thing.

....

Mr. J,

I thought about going back to Ms. E. but I don't think that's an option. She has some things to sort out, and they're things that are more of a self-revelation that something someone who loves her can help her with. The only person who can rise above it is her. It breaks my heart at the thought of cutting her loose but unfortunately I have to do it. Otherwise, I'm marooned on Big-Heart Island waiting for a ticket on a boat that no one knows the name of, which the itinerary has washed away, and sun never sets. Marooned.
So, goodbye for now, or maybe forever, Ms. E. There's things I'll always cherish. That sounds very normal, but I promise you that she was so close. So very close, by the hairs on my fucking chin.
alksjafls

Well, to bed, or to the printed word, or to the flickering screen back lighting the racing thoughts in your brain. You understanding son of bitch.

Peace, for us all if you could. To bring comfort or release to those around the world who need it. Did nature, or God(s), or whoever created us contemplate the horrible nature of being such a conscious species would entail?

Adieu, mon ami.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


munkysaurus

:: 2013 15 December :: 11.08pm

Desolation is a lonely place.

You can describe in prose, and use words to shape it.

But, just like a cold breeze, you'll never feel the full effect unless you're right there in the moment.

Even for a moment; a cold breeze feels like the end of it all.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


munkysaurus

:: 2013 3 December :: 11.45pm

The way out is through, but I can't get through.

1 feet on the ground | Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


munkysaurus

:: 2013 24 November :: 2.56pm

It doesn't matter what's my name.
I don't seek fame.
Eye seek your lobe.
May I probe
your brain? Penny
for your thoughts? Any
way you'd let me in?
I could show you then.
Let's combine our synapses, our souls, our beauty.
Let's bring this planet up or down, it's our duty.
But, we can only be one.
Either way, we'll have won.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


munkysaurus

:: 2013 23 November :: 4.50pm

You're probably reading this thinking,
"Omg, what is this guy all about?"
But, I'm sure some of this is sinking.
Because both our lives have reached a drought.

Not the kind that involves water, mind you.
Not the kind that makes your crops shrivel.
The sort that regards groups of two.
That want to be enlightened in the world's drivel.

Enlightened in a clicky sort of way.
The way fingers fit in between each other.
Like the colorful leaves on an autumn day.
Fall from the same branch, and lay on top one another.

So, before you go off, seeking more.
Know, that I know that you're here for the same reason.
You're looking for a word, like adore, or paramour.
The one that stands true regardless of the season.

Love.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


munkysaurus

:: 2013 21 November :: 6.55pm

The glory is all used up, use what's left...
Hey, you, you're still here? I'm glad, because you're beautiful, digital face overwhelms me with joy and memory. The glory, it's been used, it has holes and there's plenty of new ones sitting on the shelf. But, I'm not ready to open those packages.
Look, I remember the smiling faces, the aspirations, and the hopes and dreams. They rest with you.
What takes place when the glory is used up? Glory: an adolescent thing by nature.
Duty? Maybe?
Mr. J., I'm gonna let you in. I was let go from my job. But, it was probably the best thing that has ever happened to me. Because I relinquished, and then the old me came back and embraced me. And it wasn't glory I felt, but possibly...duty.
I'll let you decide. You mull it over.
Yeah, I know, you can't stay long. For now, bonne soir monsieur, vous et l'amore de la mon vie. Parce que, vous exitez.
To the memory of the smiles of the people who meant the most to me but didn't know it. To Vivers and Teresa, my goddesses. To the infant brother I helped raise. To the twenty year old me that you've chronicled and frozen in time so well. The wings are burned, but I have my legs.

- Friend

3 feet on the ground. | Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2013 21 March :: 12.08am

Doesn't that sound better than getting into a slap fight with the world's largest penis?
Justin Timberlake

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


tuwang

:: 2012 26 November :: 2.28am

so here I am

constantly basing my life on other people. Need to focus on myself.

Can't do that... hate myself. Help me.

2 feet on the ground. | Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2012 12 November :: 2.23am

Dr. Laura Schlesinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice
to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as
an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according
to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The
following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident,
which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as
informative.........

Dear Dr. Laura

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I
have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that
knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend
the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that
Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other
specific laws and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors.
They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in
her period of menstrual cleanliness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is,
how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend
of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can
you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus
35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated
to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don.t agree. Can you settle this?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I
have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading
glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room
here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.
19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes
me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing
garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester
blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really
necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town
together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn.t we just burn them to
death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with
their in-laws? (Lev.20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident
you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is
eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan,
Jack

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2012 5 November :: 1.08pm

The man known to a generation of Americans as "The Science Guy" is condemning efforts by some Christian groups to cast doubts on evolution and lawmakers who want to bring the Bible into science classrooms.
Bill Nye, a mechanical engineer and star of the popular 1990s TV show "Bill Nye The Science Guy," has waded into the evolution debate with an online video that urges parents not to pass their religious-based doubts about evolution on to their children.
Christians who view the stories of the Old Testament as historical fact have come to be known as creationists, and many argue that the world was created by God just a few thousand years ago.
Are you scientifically literate? Take our quiz
"The Earth is not 6,000 or 10,000 years old," Nye said in an interview with The Associated Press. "It's not. And if that conflicts with your beliefs, I strongly feel you should question your beliefs."
Millions of Americans do hold those beliefs, according to a June Gallup poll that found 46 percent of Americans believe God created humans in their present form about 10,000 years ago.Nye, 56, also decried efforts in recent years by lawmakers and school boards in some states to present Bible stories as an alternative to evolution in public schools. Tennessee passed a law earlier this year that protects teachers who let students criticize evolution and other scientific theories. That echoes a Louisiana law passed in 2008 that allows teachers to introduce supplemental teaching materials in science classes.
"If we raise a generation of students who don't believe in the process of science, who think everything that we've come to know about nature and the universe can be dismissed by a few sentences translated into English from some ancient text, you're not going to continue to innovate," Nye said in a wide-ranging telephone interview.
In the video he tells adults they can dismiss evolution, "but don't make your kids do it. Because we need them." Posted by Big Think, an online knowledge forum, the clip went viral and has 4.6 million views on YouTube. It has garnered 182,000 comments from critics and supporters.
It drew the ire of the creationism group Answers in Genesis, which built a biblically based Creation Museum in Kentucky that teaches the stories of the Old Testament and has attracted headlines for its assertion that dinosaurs roamed alongside Adam and Eve.
The group produced a response video featuring two scientists who say the Bible has the true account of Earth's origins, and that "children should be exposed to both ideas concerning our past."
Nye, who is prone to inject dry humor into scientific discussions, said Earth is about 4.5 billion years old.
"What I find troubling, when you listen to these people ... once in a while I get the impression that they're not kidding," Nye said.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2012 18 September :: 7.43am

"You can mark my prediction now: A secret recording from a closed-door Mitt Romney fundraiser, released today by David Corn at Mother Jones, has killed Mitt Romney's campaign for president. On the tape, Romney explains that his electoral strategy involves writing off nearly half the country as unmoveable Obama voters. As Romney explains, 47 percent of Americans 'believe that they are victims.' He laments: 'I'll never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives.'

"So what's the upshot? 'My job is not to worry about those people,' he says. He also notes, describing President Obama's base, 'These are people who pay no income tax. Forty-seven percent of Americans pay no income tax.' This is an utter disaster for Romney. Romney already has trouble relating to the public and convincing people he cares about them. Now, he's been caught on video saying that nearly half the country consists of hopeless losers." - Josh Barro, writing for Bloomberg.com.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


mbenznut

:: 2012 10 September :: 10.13pm

Oh no, I faint at the sight of vagina. They're like teranchala faces.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.

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