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koalalady

:: 2018 20 July :: 10.00am

I miss having a best friend. T-T


11 days until moving day!

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koalalady

:: 2018 16 July :: 12.51pm

15 days until moving day.

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koalalady

:: 2018 12 July :: 11.09am

19 days until moving day.

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koalalady

:: 2018 9 July :: 11.10am

the Future
Finally, we're starting to talk about it. I couldn't be happier. I'm glad I stuck it out, glad I waited. We looked at rings the other day, and I got a good recommendation for couples therapy from my therapist. My head is finally clear, and I'm ready to move forward.

G is visiting this week, which is nice. He is almost kind of like a brother-in-law figure at this point. We are all going up to Michigan for T's wedding party on Saturday. G's going to help us move into the new apartment at the end of the month, so I guess he's just hanging out between Michigan and Columbus for the next few weeks. It will be interesting.

I cut down drinking again. My body just can't process alcohol like it used to, in really weird ways. If I have a beer after 5pm, even just one, I'll be wide away at 2 a.m., completely robbed of sleep for hours. Can't afford that with my busy lifestyle. It doesn't happen with wine or cocktails, and obviously I sleep best and feel best the next day if I just don't drink at all. So I'm trying to pay more attention to that these days.

Today has been good so far. Trying to finish up this big annoying project for work that is part of the reason I've been stalled out and unproductive for the past week. I went to the library on Saturday and got some new books to read. It's been ages since I did that, got some books and read with my eyes. It feels good to read in the evenings rather than fuck around on the Internet.

22 days until moving day!

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koalalady

:: 2018 5 July :: 2.28pm

Lethargy, again
I have too much free time today, and not enough energy to work. Ridiculous!!! I went for a walk on the trail this morning. Need to start exercising again, but I just have no goddamn energy for anything. Been drained of energy since I was 19. It all just stopped one day.

We need to get a real bed, and better sheets. I need a comfortable desk and a chair to work on at home. I should be working hard so I have the money to get these things for myself. I know it will be easier after we move. I just don't want to spend a single more goddamn night on the futon. I have to, at least until we get into the new house. Still have to live there. I can't even open the goddamn windows, and it is KILLING ME.

Why am I so tired????? Everything is finally going good. Maybe it's just my mood today. I know it's not as bad as it's been for the last three years. Even these years have been better than when I was living in Michigan. Good goddamn riddance.

26 days until we move.

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koalalady

:: 2018 4 July :: 11.37am

tidying
Anybody read that popular cleaning book, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo?

I'm about halfway through it right now. It's been getting harder and harder to stay focused on work whenever I'm at home. Can't relax anywhere, always antsy, the dry air is making me crazy, etc., etc., see previous post. Well, last night I just had enough. I started organizing the boxes we've already started to pack in the living room. I packed up my painting supplies and went through a pile of junk that needed sorting.

Next, I went to my bedroom and pulled out some bags and boxes of crap from the closet. I kept at it until I was sneezing from the dust and I had filled another trash bag of stuff to throw away, started another box of things to donate or sell. This morning, when I woke up, I went to my room and started working again straightaway. I emptied my dresser and sorted my entire jewelry collection. I even went through most of my mementos and knick-knacks and got rid of some of them. It felt like such a relief to toss some of those things in the bin or in the sell box. Like, actual relief. Didn't expect that.

I have to take another break for now, because my dust allergies are out of control after all that. I have half a mind to challenge myself to a screen fast. No Reddit, no Netflix, etc. Maybe I'll do some sight-reading.

Life is exhausting.

27 days until moving day.

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koalalady

:: 2018 2 July :: 5.25pm

Lethargy
We're moving this month. Yay!
I'm really exicted to get out of this apartment. It is dirty, and all the space blends together. I need to get a proper desk, a proper bed, and a proper kitchen table.

I just bought a pair of new running shoes this morning. I haven't worked out in about two weeks, and longer before that. It is so difficult to maintain momentum after we go somewhere out of town.

I'm hoping that a change of scene will be enough to get me back on track. I have so much crap I need to get rid of. Haven't gone through everything in my closet yet. Sorting by category, that's what I'm supposed to do. I work so damn much during the week that by the time Saturday rolls around, my one day off (granted that I don't have any lessons to do in the morning), I'm completely wiped out. There's not a good space for me to set up my paints or crack open a journal or even read a goddamn book and not feel...vulnerable. All creativity and productivity is squandered in this icky environment.

I know that my habits will follow me into the new house, but I firmly believe that packing up, moving out, and moving into a new place will give me the jumpstart I need to get out of...whatever this funk is. Run ragged, bled of energy and brainspace. Doesn't help matters when I'm constantly reading Reddit threads, browsing Imgur, watching Netflix and HBO. All I do is consume, vomit, and reconsume digital content. Graphic, but kinda true.

Going to wear my new shoes tomorrow while I'm out running errands or getting a coffee. Two hours the first time, then four hours the time after that - would it be crazy to wear them all day on Wednesday? Maybe just while I'm teaching.

Haven't done a Tarot spread in weeks. Haven't been to the Wild Woman New Moon circle in months. Haven't written any journal entries of substance since Santa Fe. At least I'm finding time to practice, and my voice is doing better. And I'm eating relatively healthy.

29 days until moving day.

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spud

:: 2018 18 June :: 8.15am

link to article

It took some digging through sensationalist headlines to get straight to the source, but I'm glad I did. This is a very well-written account, explicit in its intent, which is not malicious. Some parts of this hit closer to home for me than others, but all of it is far too common a story. We could all stand to be better to each other, and to ourselves. How often we are held captive by our fears.

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koalalady

:: 2018 15 May :: 3.49pm

Santa Fe
First of all, I made it to Santa Fe yesterday morning. So far, it has been incredible. I flew into the SAF regional airport from Dallas, and it was really neat to watch the landscape change from the airplane window. From drab somewhat-greenery in Texas...to crop circles and soil growing darker and redder. Then I started seeing splashes of landcape that looked like the stretchmarks lightning leaves over the earth when it touches down, and I realized they were mountains. The splashes got deeper, darker. We were flying over the desert. Finally we circled into Santa Fe, and it was hard to tell that there was a whole city down there. It's really spread out, and there are NO tall buildings. By city ordinance, no one can build anything over 4 stories high. Didn't expect that, and it makes everything look beautiful and magical.

I took an Uber (my very first) to the car rental place (my very first car rental). I was about an hour early, so I went across the street to a place called Weck's and shoveled down a huge serving of toast, bacon, and fruit - I hadn't had anything to eat in like the 12 hours since I'd been awake. I'd had to get up at 3am for my flight.

After that, I checked in at the hostel, which is...so wild. It's close to downtown, which is nice, and it's not too full right now. It's a really communal atmosphere, with tons of food in the kitchen that everybody shares - they get a big weekly donation from Whole Foods. I've been snacking on stuff in the kitchen yesterday and today.

I've been going out for food too, of course. Santa Fe is a huge foodie place, so there's a lot of things to try. Last night I went to a pizza place for dinner and had a heavenly margherita pizza with a prosecco spritzer...yummmmm. Today, I went to the art galleries on Canyon Road and stumbled across a sort of ritzy restaurant called The Compound. When I got there, the host who greeted me was wearing an actual black suit, like, iron-pressed and spotless. The tablecloths and napkins were white linen, and they had a separate plate on the table with one of those fancy palette knives for butter. I asked to sit outside...in this glorious garden with sculptures and flowers and benches, etc. So, you know. Not the fanciest place I've ever been, but getting close. Here I am, sporting a schoolkid's backpack and wearing a thin red sundress that I got from the Sand Lake flea market in Michigan, reading a book while I wait for my hamburger. The height of class, obviously.

The couple next to me strikes up a conversation. It starts slowly at first, a casual observation that it's cool I'm reading a book - then we end up talking about where we're from - then they ask me what I do for work back home - then they tell me that I remind them of their daughter - then they're showing me pictures on the husband's phone of some of the cool things they've found in the Canyon Road district - and we all have a wonderful time. They even pay for my meal, because they said they enjoyed my company so much. It was stunning.

Honestly, the interactions I've had with people here are stunning all-around. Everyone is so unassuming and super kind. I came into the city not knowing a soul yesterday morning, and nine hours later I was watching the sunset over the Sangre de Cristo mountains with two of the hostel employees and a pair of visiting parents, talking like we've known each other for years. I've always hoped I could have an experience like this in my lifetime, and well...it's finally here. I know now there will be many, many more.


A couple of things people have said stuck in my brain:

A woman at one of the visitors' centers I met yesterday told me this: "This city will either embrace you or kick you out." <-- I remember this one because it feels like the city is embracing me. It's incredible! I'm met with good omens, peaceful passage, easy luck wherever I've gone so far. I don't want to jinx it, but at the same time I'm incredibly grateful. It feels like the Universe really does want me here, now.

One of the hostel employees told me while we were sitting out and watching the sunset: "I've moved to New Mexico three different times. I move away, but then I have dreams about the canyons. And I have to come back."


Some of the pictures I've collected between yesterday and today:

Yucca plant, my favourite flower. They grow everywhere and easily here.

They have prarie dogs here!! You can just see them in the wild!

Found these earrings in a museum gift shop. Of course they have this kind of stuff here, haha.

My favourite find so far, a statue in the Canyon Road galleries area of a girl reclining and writing music. The couple I had lunch with today showed me this picture and said I reminded them of it. So cool. They were really sweet.


That's all for now!

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jedibumblebee

:: 2018 4 May :: 8.04pm
:: Music: The Greatest Showman- The Other Side

Take your walls and start 'em breaking
Right here, right now
I put the offer out
I don't want to chase you down
I know you see it
You run with me
And I can cut you free
Out of the drudgery and walls you keep in
So trade that typical for something colorful
And if it's crazy, live a little crazy
You can play it sensible, a king of conventional
Or you can risk it all and see
Don't you wanna get away from the same old part you gotta play
'Cause I got what you need, so come with me and take the ride
It'll take you to the other side
'Cause you can do like you do
Or you can do like me
Stay in the cage, or you'll finally take the key
Oh, damn! Suddenly you're free to fly
It'll take you to the other side
Okay, my friend, you want to cut me in
Well I hate to tell you, but it just won't happen
So thanks, but no
I think I'm good to go
'Cause I quite enjoy the life you say I'm trapped in
Now I admire you, and that whole show you do
You're onto something, really it's something
But I live among the swells, and we don't pick up peanut shells
I'll have to leave that up to you
Don't you know that I'm okay with this uptown part I get to play
'Cause I got what I need and I don't want to take the ride
I don't need to see the other side
So go and do like you do
I'm good to do like me
Ain't in a cage, so I don't need to take the key
Oh, damn! Can't you see I'm doing fine
I don't need to see the other side
Now is this really how you like to spend your days?
Whiskey and misery, and parties and plays
If I were mixed up with you, I'd be the talk of the town
Disgraced and disowned, another one of the clowns
But you would finally live a little, finally laugh a little
Just let me give you the freedom to dream
And it'll wake you up and cure your aching
Take your walls and start 'em breaking
Now that's a deal that seems worth taking
But I guess I'll leave that up to you
Well it's intriguing, but to go would cost me greatly
So what percentage of the show would I be taking?
Fair enough, you'd want a piece of all the action
I'd give you seven, we could shake and make it happen
I wasn't born this morning, eighteen would be just fine
Why not just go ahead and ask for nickels on the dime
Fifteen
I'd do eight
Twelve
Maybe nine
Ten
Don't you wanna get away to a whole new part you're gonna play
'Cause I got what you need, so come with me and take the ride
To the other side
So if you do like I do
So if you do like me
Forget the cage, 'cause we know how to make the key
Oh, damn! Suddenly we're free to fly
We're going to the other side
So if you do like I do
(To the other side)
So if you do like me
(We're going to the other side)
'Cause if we do we're going to the other side
We're going to the other side

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koalalady

:: 2018 23 April :: 4.40pm

21 days until Santa Fe.

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jedibumblebee

:: 2018 20 April :: 10.35pm
:: Music: Say Amen- Panic! at the Disco

And every morning when I wake up/ I wanna be who I couldn't say I'd ever been/ But it's so much more than I ever was/ If every night I go to sleep knowing
Been traveling in packs that I can't carry anymore
Been waiting for somebody else to carry me
There's nothing else there for me at my door
All the people I know aren't who they used to be
And if I try to change my life one more day
There would be nobody else to save
And I can't change into a person I don't wanna be, so
Oh, it's Saturday night, yeah
I pray for the wicked on the weekend
Mama, can I get another amen?
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh, it's Saturday night, yeah
Swear to God, I ain't ever gonna repent
Mama, can I get another amen?
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh, it's Saturday night, yeah
And every morning when I wake up
I wanna be who I couldn't say I'd ever been
But it's so much more than I ever was
If every night I go to sleep knowing
That I gave everything that I had to give
Then it's all I could've asked for
I've been standing up beside everything I've ever said, but
Oh, it's Saturday night, yeah
I pray for the wicked on the weekend
Mama, can I get another amen?
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh, it's Saturday night, yeah
Swear to God, I ain't ever gonna repent
Mama, can I get another amen?
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh, it's Saturday night, yeah
If I had one more day to wish
If I had one more day
To be better than I could have ever been
If I had one more day to wish
If I had one more day
I could be better, but, baby
Oh, it's Saturday night, yeah
I pray for the wicked on the weekend
Mama, can I get another amen?
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh, it's Saturday night, yeah
Swear to God, I ain't ever gonna repent
Mama, can I get another amen?

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koalalady

:: 2018 14 April :: 9.00am

So Kanye West is writing a philosophy book and I'm so excited. Why would ANYONE possibly be excited about that?? Read this excerpt from an interview he did with Rolling Stone yesterday:

"A designer told me that my wife was a master of light and I was a master of time," said West. "How to use time is equal to being someone who can cut a diamond. The ability to preserve time is more valuable than the ability to preserve a diamond because time is our most valuable resource. So using something timeless to remind us of what time is, is a good bar."

...???? WHAT??
Just imagine an entire book like that. It's going to be great.

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jedibumblebee

:: 2018 12 April :: 10.04am
:: Music: Robert DeLong feat. K. Flay- Favorite Color is Blue

I'm thinking of changing my name, thinking of wrecking a home/ 'Cause loving and hating are one and the same/ And I'm feeling like everyone's feeling alone
Locked up, naked with socks
I'm watching the phone ring.
It's making me angry.
It's making me mad.
Maxed out, minimum wage
My brain is a time bomb.
I'm saying goodbye, mom,
I'll see you again.
Striking a pose.
Smiling in photos without any reason
With people that I'll never know.
I'm out of control, live in a fictional prose.
I took an oath, it's killing me though
'Cause I don't believe in the things that I do.
And now my favorite color is blue.
And now my favorite color is blue.
And now my favorite
Roped up, rot in a cage
I'm having a breakdown.
Drinking at a playground, tequila for one
Too short, walk in the streets, I'm hating my haircut.
You say that you're here, but
You live on the Sun.
Burning a kite
I'm at a funeral, nothing unusual
Baby, I do what I like
Looking to fight, smoking a blunt and a pipe
Taking a bite, worm in the apple
I knew it would happen, 'cause honey the vermin survive.
Swerve to the side, been driving all night.
I'm thinking of changing my name, thinking of wrecking a home
'Cause loving and hating are one and the same
And I'm feeling like everyone's feeling alone.
I'm just looking for something to soften the blow.
A second inside of the truth
I don't see light 'cause
Now my favorite color is blue.

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koalalady

:: 2018 11 April :: 2.29pm

I have a cheese popcorn addiction and it HAS GOT TO STOP!!!

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jedibumblebee

:: 2018 29 March :: 10.19pm
:: Mood: nostalgic
:: Music: Fall Out Boy- Wilson

Woke up on the wrong side of the paradise/ So when I say I'm sorry I'm late I wasn't showing up at all/ I really mean I didn't plan on showing up at all
I was I was I was
Gonna say something that would solve all our problems
But then I got drunk and I forgot what I was talking about
I forgot what I was talking about
Don't you, don't you, don't you know
There's nothing more cruel than to be loved by everybody
There's nothing more cruel than to be loved by everybody but you
Than to be loved by everybody but you, but you

If I can get my shit together
I'm gonna run away and never see any of you again
Never see any of you again

I hope the roof flies off and I get blown out into space
I always make such expensive mistakes
I know it's just a number but you're the 8th wonder
I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color
I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color

Woke up on the wrong side of the paradise
So when I say I'm sorry I'm late I wasn't showing up at all
I really mean I didn't plan on showing up at all
Don't you, don't you, don't you know
I hate all my friends, I miss the days when I pretended
I hate all my friends, I miss the days when I pretended with you
I miss the days when I pretended with you, with you

If I can get my shit together
I'm gonna run away and never see any of you again
Never see any of you again

I hope the roof flies off and I get blown out into space
I always make such expensive mistakes
I know it's just a number but you're the 8th wonder
I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color
I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color
I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color

If we hadn't done this thing, I think I'd be a medicine man
So I could get high on my own supply whenever I can
I became such a strange shape, such a strange shape from trying to fit in
Yeah, I became such a strange shape, such a strange shape

I hope the roof flies off and I get blown out into space
I always make such expensive mistakes
I know it's just a number but you're the 8th wonder
I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color
I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color

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spud

:: 2018 24 March :: 2.39pm

I TALKED AT PEOPLE AND IT WAS SORTA FUNNY

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koalalady

:: 2018 8 February :: 6.40pm

I'm goddamn busy over here

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mbenznut

:: 2018 5 January :: 6.19pm

What happened to your eye?

I was attacked by a figgy pudding while having spontaneous sexual intercourse.

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koalalady

:: 2017 28 December :: 4.28am

Brand New
Anybody else around here listen to Brand New? I just listened to Science Fiction the other night for the first time.

It was so good, I cried. I couldn't feel more proud of them for pulling it off. It was touching to hear how much they've all matured as musicians, as a group. They have been my favourite band FOR YEARS, and now, I feel a little more complete on some personal level, having been able to witness their evolution.

18 Forever indeed.

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koalalady

:: 2017 23 December :: 10.03pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Peaky Blinders

year's review
Lot happened in the last twelve months. Let's see...

1) Flipped tf out at New Year's last year after evidence of S's drug problem retroactively resurfaced (a compromising story from the past...he hasn't relapsed to my knowledge).

2) But after that, things started getting better. I mellowed out. I don't know that I really reached a place of deeper understanding or release or forgiveness or whatever the hell you want to call it. But I've been letting it go. We're doing pretty alright now. Enough that...

3) We talked about getting engaged. I've talked about it before with a few people in my life. Child's play. This feels no different. This year I wrote: I do NOT want to get married, emphatically, at least four times. So. What am I doing? How can something feel so right and so...unnatural at the same time?

4) In non- S.O. news, I got another church gig. It feels ironic now, like every Sunday I'm in my own private comedy show. It's been nine months now, and I haven't told anyone there anything personal about me. At. All. Nothing heavy, nothing happy or hopeful, nothing real. I've never not opened up about my life to a church community before...I wonder if/how things would change if I did.

5) In other work developments, I started teaching. Both piano and voice, at the studio that I also currently take lessons at. It's been delightful. Doesn't feel like work at all. It is, in some ways, healing me.

6) Between my three jobs, I now actually make money. I ran the numbers for next year, and I actually might break $40k (before 1099 taxes). I have NEVER been this wealthy. I am AMAZED at how much better my quality of life is with more money to spend on things I need/want...I can afford a therapist. I can afford a gym membership, AND a yoga membership. I can afford all my groceries, medication, rent. I can afford to not have a shitty retail/service job. I have time to sleep and cook and clean. I can take myself out for lunch, and I can even finance my art. I might even be able to afford to travel in 2018. It's...incredible to not be panicking about finances on a weekly basis.

7) Cut down on my drinking for vocal health/to help with weight loss/save money/stop killing brain cells/not feel like garbage with a hangover in the morning.

8) Watched an eclipse.

9) Spent a week vacationing in Nashville.

10) Basically kept my company's business running while some stuff went down behind the scenes.

11) Stopped talking to my mother.

12) Ate so many delicious things in Columbus.

13) Fell more in love with life again.

14) Made contact with my old bff, my old voice teacher, and my old high school heartthrob on FB. It kind of felt like...closure. Completely released, for me. He got engaged two weeks later.

15) Kept plugging way at the [$!@#] Gershwin.

16) Finished my 5-year-diary project.

17) Started cooking...and enjoying it?!!?!

18) Started running down at the trail.

19) Join an a capella group...and left it. Artistic differences.

20) Decided to move tf out of this place. Yay. Something to look forward to after one final summer here.

I think that covers the major events. It's been a pretty good year.

Merry Xmas
KL

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koalalady

:: 2017 28 November :: 7.37am

I think...I might be getting married!

Last Sunday, S said he wanted to go look at rings together. I'm some combination of excited, scared, worried, and relieved.

It's been five years. Why do I suddenly feel like it's moving too fast?

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koalalady

:: 2017 13 November :: 11.45pm

Haunted by the following distinction: "I treat [them] like a friend, but I don't see [them] as one."

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mbenznut

:: 2017 29 October :: 4.07pm

I'm not scared. I'm rationally concerned.

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koalalady

:: 2017 14 October :: 8.18pm

Jesus Christ, this BoJack is fucking me up

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koalalady

:: 2017 29 August :: 4.01pm
:: Mood: defiant

trying to listen to my intuition
I thought that I needed to master each lesson in turn before moving on to the next. But some lessons are absorbed over time, and you can't get the full meaning just by repeating the words until they're memorized.

I admit, I confess. But I also object, and I demand redress.

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koalalady

:: 2017 15 August :: 9.12pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: Explosions in the Sky

I miss working with D so fucking much.

For one thing, he was talented. Not as good as me, but he was smart, and passionate, and political, and he knew the game even better than I did. He knew what I could do, and he knew what I wanted. And for a little while, I thought I was what he wanted.

Honestly I didn't mind so much, the way that things ended in that department. But the fact that he stopped talking to me about his projects and ideas, the fact that we stopped composing and writing, that fucking killed me. I didn't care about losing a boy toy. But I really cared about losing my partner.

That's what he was to me: my creative partner. Do you know how fucking rare that is to find? Someone who likes you and shares enough of your headspace to collaborate on a project, let alone dream up a lifetime of projects?

And then he just...stopped...
...replying to emails, texts...
...and got married...


About four years ago (after we had already stopped talking, way before he got married) I was getting on a plane in the middle of some shitty weather, and I had one of those overhyped, irrational fear moments where I wondered maybe for a second if the plane might not land - that I might not come out the other side. So I pulled out my phone, literally jogging with my luggage down the terminal (because we also had like 5 minutes or something before the next plane was scheduled for takeoff), and he was the person I called with my minute to spare. Not my boyfriend, not my parents, not my best friend. I called D, and went to voicemail - and yeah, I left one of those sappy messages that's like, "... ... ..." but what could I say? I love you? I miss you? Even then, it would have been too much. So I just said something completely stupid like... "hey...I'm about to get on a plane...thinking of you..."

He told me later that he got it. But I don't know whether he "got" what I was really trying to say, behind the words, in that moment.

I never talk about him anymore, or think about him, really. But sometimes when I'm wondering why it's so hard to be creative on my own, without a structure, or a friend, I remember D. And I feel just a little bit better knowing that somewhere, a billion years ago before I got all jaded and empty, someone held my hand...and walked along with me and saw what I saw when I pointed up at the stars and said, "that looks like..." and "what if we...?"

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koalalady

:: 2017 14 August :: 11.55pm
:: Mood: pissed off

-
I am not your friend.
I'm not your lover.
I'm not your family.

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koalalady

:: 2017 10 August :: 2.26pm

We're moving out by next year. I could use a change of scene for sure. Currently fantasizing about a kitschy townhome way too close to downtown, where the leaves will turn yellow and crisp in the fall and rustle along the sidewalk in piles and tipsy tailgaters will stagger past in noisy droves en route to the football stadium, giving us something to complain about every Saturday afternoon.

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koalalady

:: 2017 5 August :: 7.11pm
:: Mood: pissed off
:: Music: Kaikoura Dub

excuse me for reading
So EXCUSE ME FOR READING at pool parties after I get exhausted from making small talk for four hours with ten strangers I don't know. EXCUSE ME for daring to crack open a book and engage my brain cells while you're jumping down waterslides - without breaking your neck by going backwards, I might add, at my advice. But sure, trash talk me behind my back, like a fucking pussy, after I fix your stupid bathing suit top and everything to keep your little titties from popping out in the middle of a conversation with your dumb jock friends. That's right, go ahead and smirk at me from far away like a little bitch while I read me some Virginia Woolf, who makes for much better company than you, you vapid attention whore.

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