Welcome to my world, my mind. Here is where I will remove my mask to the few brave enough to read, enjoy my thoughts or be tortured with them. ;)


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Behind My Mask

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:: 2004 31 October :: 7.31 pm
:: Mood: hyper and complete
:: Music: "The Way You Make Me Feel" -- M. Jackson

I don't know what I would do without it...
*I know I said I was done updating, but this is too good not to say!*
It being marching band. Somehow, everyone who's ever really commited to marching band will agree. People ask us why we put up with it, that we work too hard and for what? When was the last time someone got a full scholarship to a U.C. because they were a drum major? We do it because we love it, and if you did it you would understand. Competing, even watching, gives you this feeling you can only get from marching band and without it, I'd be nothing...

We had our Live Oak Competition in Salinas, the second one of the season. We did our guard song and across the floors, but Misty wanted to remind us why we're here because we love what we do. So she put on "The Way You Make Me Feel" and did this strut and we had to do the same, then on the way back we were told to do our own sexy walk so, since I was born to strut ;), I had them all hollering and shouting out cat-calls! So much fun, it scarred Katie! I love Katie!!! Anyway, so in we're in Class AAA and also there was Independence and Pasa Robles. Since Independence got sweepstakes, we got 1st!!! WOOT! We ALSO tied Independence for Best General Effect (in our class of course)!!! N-I-C-E!!! I missed Saratoga perform so I didn't get to see Risa perform, but she changed really quickly and found where we were sitting and I got to chat with her for like 30 mins to an hour, so awesome! Not to mention Katie and I decided I'm going to have like, twenty husbands when I grow up and that they are all going to be ex-drum liners ^^ We also had a very interesting shout-down as to whether tenor drums were better than snares, which they are!!! Actually, they're both awesome!!!!

Backing up to Friday, intersectional dinner with Low Brass and Drum Line at Neale's house, we ate pizza and watched Halloween 6 (since the week previous we watched Halloween, I was looking fly since it was HC weekend and I was decked out) and Drum Line. Tiff had Vlad teach her how to play drums and I, in my suttle way *not* flirted with Neale. Lol! Speaking of which, yesterday I'm changing into my uniform and I need someone to zip me and I'm standing with my back to gaurd and the second Carrie stands up to zip me I walk over to Neale and I'm like, "Neale, will you zip me please?" LMAO!!! Katie wouldn't let it go, I seriously had no idea Carrie was getting up to zip me!!! For the rest of the night my convos with Katie ended each topic with:
Me- Too bad I love that too! (replying to Katie saying she liked something)
Katie- I love how you walk past a bunch of girls to get Neale to zip up your uniform!

N-I-C-E Man, I love marching band! I thinking I might do Winter Perc(ussion), don't worry, still doing track no matter what!

OOO! So we come home and this adorable, older bordie collie is in our front yard and so, since I'm nice and all, get something around his collar and go through his five (I mean that literally) tags to find out his address and I took him home. But he got excited b/c he understood what I was doing and took off and I didn't want to yank on his collar so I ran with him, best feeling ever. If I had a big dog that needed excercise, I'd make time to run daily. Too bad I have a cat and love her death, wouldn't trade her for a dog and besides, I tried that excuse for a dog before and it didn't work ^^ heh

And I just carved my pumpkin, wow! So. Much. Fun. And yummmmmm! Pumpkin seeds.... YUMMMMMMMMMM

Remove your mask?

:: 2004 20 October :: 8.26 pm
:: Mood: um... okay
:: Music: "How Far" Martina McBride

How far do I have to go?
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away

I tried to change, but I don't care anymore. I'm going to continue DBT and working on my impulsiveness but if you all don't want to see my change, so be it. This isn't about my ego, or being mature, it's about dealing with life. So I'm done with my woohu, I'll still come to see how Mel's doing but otherwise I'm done. Call me overdramatic if you want, I would ^^

"How far?" by Martina McBride
(watch the music video at http://www.cmt.com/artists/az/mcbride_martina/artist.jhtml?_requestid=357533 )

There's a boat, I could sail away
There's the sky, I could catch a plane
There's a train, there's the tracks
I could leave and I could choose to not come back
Oh, never come back

There you are, giving up the fight
Here I am begging you to try
Talk to me, let me in
But you just put your wall back up again
Oh, when's it gonna end

How far do I have to go to make you understand
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say how far

There's a chance I could change my mind
But I won't, not till you decide
What you want, what you need
Do you even care if I stay or leave
Oh, what's it gonna be

How far do I have to go to make you understand
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say how far

Out of this chair, or just across the room
Halfway down the block or halfway to the moon

How far do I have to go to make you understand
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say
Yeah I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say how far
How far

2 thoughts | Remove your mask?

:: 2004 18 October :: 10.26 pm
:: Mood: lost

It's been a looong day...
Derek has a lot of hot asian friends, Adam being one of them, but damn! With the risk of sounding soooo uber racist, I'm generally not attracted to asian guys but D-A-M-N!

Lol, just had to say that ^^ But I want to know how I did on the chem test!! It can make or break my chem grade! I'm screwed in... everything lol

Okay, so unlike last year's Girl's Ensemble, in Chorale we had personal one-on-one meetings with Shaull to discuss our grades and what we thought we deserved. So I go out and I tell him how I feel my voice has a tendency to crack even in my middle range so he makes me sing. Gives me the sibling talk for the millionth time and then tells me I can be just as good, maybe a bigger contribution to the singing program, as Dare Bear. WOOT! Then he said I have a "big voice" and "big talent" I just need to apply them to when I sing second soprano in Girl's 21... heh... biznatch! ANYWAY! So then he said he's going to find me someone to study voice with, HAH! That's likely, just like he'll actually be there when he schedules after school singing sessions LMAO!

Went to DBT today... that was... interesting to say the least. So far, all I got out of it is the true meaning of antisocial and a good idea for a poem. If it works out then I'll use it for The Slam this year. The main theme is that I'm lost, unsure, in a state of cognitive confusion because I'm really just what everyone wants me to be and I've lost what I want. That my thoughts are really not mine, but someone else's and I don't know what mine are anymore. This is a product of taking the PSAT and putting linguistics as my future major instead of something pertaining to animals. The reason I was so entranced with Big Cat Diaries on Sunday was because it reminded me of what I dreamed of doing when I was little... *sigh*

Remove your mask?

:: 2004 12 October :: 9.46 pm
:: Mood: pissed

kill. me.
.... I.Hate.People.

I. Hate. My. Brothers.

I. Hate. Bill.

I. Hate. My. Mom.

I. Hate. My. Family.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY F-ING MADE A CALENDAR OF MY PERIOD AND PMS?!?!?!?! WTFH?!?!?!? I feel like shit and I throw up and swallow before I expell it from my mouth and they say, "it's just pms, it's all in your mind." I WANT TO SCREAM!

1 thought | Remove your mask?

:: 2004 8 October :: 12.42 am
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: "Are Kara" -- Shimokawa Mikuni

All I do is hurt the ones I care the most about...
What the hell was I thinking? All I did was end up hurting both of us, and for what? For him to be pissed at me for breaking his heart and then expecting everything to be perfectly okay when I said I changed my mind? What is wrong with me?! I need a shoulder to cry on, but I don't want sympathy... I don't want to explain what happened, why I'm hurt, why he's hurt... I hate myself for doing this to him before I talked to him about it, I hate that he was hurt and then pissed (he has every right to be, anger comes from hurt)... I hate these tears, tears reserved only for my beloved father, that I know shed for him... What was I thinking? That's it, I wasn't... Modesto is going to suck.... regardless of the fact I'm doing the retreat...

Remove your mask?

:: 2004 7 October :: 9.55 pm
:: Mood: sigh
:: Music: "I Hate Men" -- Kiss Me Kate

as the song says...
I'm breaking up with Adam, that's that.... men suck....

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:: 2004 6 October :: 12.00 am
:: Mood: uncommited
:: Music: "Pualena" -- Vika

Um... I have issues
I seriously have been thinking about it, and I've come to the conclusion that I have commitment issues. I can understand why, but it's sooo weird that when I have this awesome boyfriend that I want to flirt with random guys like Keith, Chris or even Adrian. Well... Adrian makes sense, not that I would b/c you know, yeah... Just wouldn't, but I'm determined to toss a 5 for him before the season is over since he's so bent on either Katie or I doing it. I bet I could if I had the new sabres, they are soooo easy to toss! Too bad I don't...

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:: 2004 3 October :: 1.16 pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: "Turn Back Time" -- Aqua

We had our Mountain View Community Thank You today and in the words of the the M.V. director:


Alrighty! So the performance was sooo much fun! I’ve been waiting for this since Misty told us we were going to do sabre. So we had our morning practice and blah blah blah… The drum line keeps picking on me!!! DAMN YOU KEITH! Lol, started with Keith and then Andreas joined in and then now like all the guys in drumline who know me pick on me. It’s so sad, and yet so funny at the same time. Anyway, I had a Jamba Juice for lunch because Tiff’s mom was nice enough to drive me downtown. Something I’ve realized: Road Rage is an asian thing!!! Makes me glad to be half asian lol!!! Anyway, so we get to MV and finish up our make-up and then we go to this area to practice. But the first thing we did was play “Big Booty”!!! I’M IN LOOOOVE WITH THAT GAME!!! Then we all laid on each other’s stomachs and listened to our guard song, don’t remember the name though ^^ After that we stretched to “Center Stage” music and did across the floors and sabre stuff. Then we went out to the field and did the counting game (you sit in a circle and stare at an object and count one at a time, but you don’t know who’ll say the next number and if two people say it then you start over) and did some air flag with the “drum-guard”. We performed first and yeah, it was fun. If you didn’t know, it would look like I was captain because of my drill and the fact that I stand in the center of the warm-up circle and the fact that I was counting for some parts. Not to mention the Stained Glass exit. Anyway! So here’s my list of things I did wrong since it is homework (yes, the guard gets homework assignments other than “practice your flag”):

New Century Dawn:
1- I think, I caught my blade double too low on the blade and late, I’m not sure… I don’t remember, most of the show was muscle memory.
2- Could have made it the piccolo solo drill a little quicker so that threw me off for the solo, too much energy going into it.
3- The 12 count halt, personally, was more of swinging the sabre than doing the work.
4- Triple drill was changed and that didn’t really happen, plus turned to front a count late and caught my triple in an awkward position.
5- Tossed early before “Surprise”
6- Reverted to the old work for counts 4-8ish after the blade double to the back after the trumpet solo.
7- Rushed the ending counts.
I thought Lento was really strong and I can’t think of anything I, or the guard as a whole, did wrong.
Stained Glass:
Heh, stepped off on the right foot leading them down and didn’t count them off that well ^^
Performed a little, but not the entire show.

ANYWAY! So yeah, that was fun. Got a ride home from Chrissy since I didn’t want to wait for Bill to come. Um, then I dragged everyone to Marie Calendar’s because I’m in loooove with M.C. Anyway, our waiter was really cute and he kept eying me according to my mom. She wanted me to flirt with him and watch him get flustered. Sorry to tell you, but I didn’t. But he did get flustered, was very amusing and flattering. Then, since my mom is crazy like that, we went to the Coldstone that Adam works at. It was really busy so the babes got ice cream and then we went to the Starbucks to get coffee. We waved bye, but being me I hate not saying good-bye so I argued with my parents until they let me go in to say bye. Luckily, by this time it was empty except a couple and their daughter so I wasn’t distracting him. Funny, but there was this large group of people outside. I’m not supposed to know this, but when we went in the first time the two other people working went outside and got on the phone to call up their friends. I only know this because my mom was still outside, and so they called their friends and told them to get over there because I’m not made up. I’m so sure he’d make me up lol. That was funny. She came in and poked him and whispered stuff, and me being me, I got pissed but then she smiled at me and said, “I’ve heard a lot about you.” So I just smiled and was shocked, which was painfully obvious because then she added, “All good things!” Now I want to know, what does he say about me to his friends?! I could just ask him, but where’s the fun in that?

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:: 2004 1 October :: 12.44 am
:: Mood: OVERJOYED!!!

So, I was going to give it a week before I posted but this is too awesome not to share! This is our schedule for our Oct 9th, Modesto competition btw.

8:45 AM Arrive LAHS
9:00 AM Rehearsal
12:30 PM Lunch
1:00 PM Begin loading truck
1:15 PM Pit, Drumline, and big instruments back to help load truck
1:45 PM All band members report to band room for check in
1:55 PM Load busses
2:00 PM Depart for Modesto, Johansen High School (directions posted on
4:00 PM Arrive Johansen High School and unload truck
4:45 PM Light Snack
5:15 PM Dress into half uniform (will explain to kids what this is)
5:45 PM Warm-up
6:30 PM Get into full uniform
6:45 PM Section Hype Time
6:55 PM Final warm-up and tune
7:15 PM Move to stand by position
7:31 PM PERFORM!!!
7:50 PM Change out of uniform
8:00 PM Dinner
8:30 PM Return to stadium to watch class AAAA and AAAAA Bands
9:50 PM Awards (Diane, Tiffany, Deanna, Andreas, Neale, Stephanie in
uniform for retreat)
10:20 PM Load busses
12:00 AM Arrive LAHS

See it?!?!
9:50 PM Awards (Diane, Tiffany, !!!!Deanna!!!!!, Andreas, Neale, Stephanie in
uniform for retreat)

OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHH! SOOO ... W-O-W!!!!!!!!!

Remove your mask?

:: 2004 27 September :: 11.29 pm
:: Mood: disgusted, ashamed and afraid

Tribute to a life taken...
A junior was shot and killed on S. Rengestroff(sp?) last Friday, his name was Alex Fernandez, a student at LAHS. Details of why are still a mystery, but for now it's viewed as senseless violence. He was walking with his two friends, two shots were fired and they both hit him: one in the chest, the other in the leg. You're probably asking why I'm bringing this up, I don't know him, it doesnt apply to me.

You're wrong.

It does.

It affects everyone.

The world should not have this much fear, we should not be killing our own. Love is hate, war is peace, no is yes... We're in times when a woman can't feel safe in her our community, in her own home. 6 months ago a woman was beat to death in her own home in Los Altos, just a week ago people were raped just for walking down the street... I felt safe here, and now I don't. I don't understand how anyone could do these things, do they not feel any remorse? No oone deserves to have their life taken away from them... Well, Will slammed my hand in the van sliding door so I'm done for now.

What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma
Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin'
In the USA, the big CIA
The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Badness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
Now, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all

People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt can you hear them cryin'?
Can you practice what you preach?
And would you turn the other cheek?

Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love? (Love)

Where is the love? (The love)
Where is the love? (The love)
Where is the love?
The love, the love

It just ain't the same, always unchanged
New days are strange, is the world insane?
If love and peace is so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations droppin' bombs
Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones
With the ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young
So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone
So I can ask myself really what is goin' wrong
In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin'
Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover
The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love
Where's the love, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the truth, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the love, y'all( come on yeah)

People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek

Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)

Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love, the love

I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder
Most of us only care about money makin'
Selfishness got us followin' the wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images, it's the main criteria
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids want to act like what they see in the cinema
Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead in spreading love we're spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under (so ask yourself)
Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found

People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek

Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)

Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)

Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)

Why do the babies starve
When there's enough food to feed the world
Why when there're so many of us
Are there people still alone
Why are the missiles called peace keepers
When they're aimed to kill
Why is a woman still not safe
When she's in her home
Love is hate
War is peace
No is yes
And we're all free
But somebody's gonna have to answer
The time is coming soon
Amidst all these questions and contradictions
There're some who seek the truth
But somebody's gonna have to answer
The time is coming soon
When the blind remove their blinders
And the speechless speak the truth

Mother, mother
There's too many of you crying
Brother, brother, brother
There's far too many of you dying
You know we've got to find a way
To bring some lovin' here today - Ya

Father, father
We don't need to escalate
You see, war is not the answer
For only love can conquer hate
You know we've got to find a way
To bring some lovin' here today

Picket lines and picket signs
Don't punish me with brutality
Talk to me, so you can see
Oh, what's going on
What's going on
Ya, what's going on
Ah, what's going on

In the mean time
Right on, baby
Right on
Right on

Mother, Mother, everybody thinks we're wrong
Oh, but who are they to judge us
Simply because our hair is long
Oh, you know we've got to find a way
To bring some understanding here today

Picket lines and picket signs
Don't punish me with brutality
Talk to me
So you can see
What's going on
Ya, what's going on
Tell me what's going on
I'll tell you what's going on - Uh
Right on baby
Right on baby
Current Music: Where is the Love-- Why --What's Going On?

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:: 2004 26 September :: 8.30 pm
:: Mood: curious

I owe you an apology...
For everything I've said and done, I was wrong. I don't remember what it was about before, but recently it's envy. You're confident, you have what I want and everyone knows misery loves company. But mainly, you have the one thing I can never have again not matter how hard I try to get close to her in W.L.H.... you have Molly and Louise's friendship even after all of these years, you do things with them that I wish I was a part of but I know I gave up that chance years ago. I thought you were the anonymous, but that was stupid to think... So to you, Nicole Roccaforte, I am sorry if it means anything to you at all or whether it is just words, just know I am truly sorry.

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:: 2004 26 September :: 2.24 am
:: Music: Degrassi Theme Song

I just want to take this time to say...
that I loooooooooooooooove Degrassi and everything Canadian! I want me an ice cap! Oh crap... I sound like Stella and April, I can't stop! Shiet foo, I want me an ice cream cone. Get it 'fore the store clo-ses. Eat it 'fore it melts and you get sti-cky. Um, ew. LOL *contented sigh* their senior skit is going to hilarious. thanks for reading my random randomness ^^

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:: 2004 25 September :: 2.51 am
:: Mood: loved
:: Music: guard song

*sigh* if only...
Today started out as a disaster but ended more perfectly than I could have ever imagined. So here’s the quick play by play. I woke up around 5:30ish because I left my health book in my locker and I didn’t read the chapters, so I was ready to leave around 6ish... almost. I couldn’t find my band shirt. Had my jazz pants but not my band shirt, even found my mom’s before I found mine… actually, never found mine. So I tucked in the sleeves and tied it in a knot in the back so it would fit better. Got a 37/39 (originally 40 but Paige curves) on our Ch. 1-4 Test, that was awesome esp. since I got a 20/20 on our lab ^^ YAY! Actually doing well this year. Health, not doing too good but I got a 20/20 on the Pop-Quiz on sex terminology ^.~ lol, jk but I did get 20/20. Chorale was boring, we had a theory quiz which was easy. Got a 10/11 on my Alg II quiz because I didn’t make my window big enough on my graphing calculator and failed to realize that the line was not symmetrical about the origin but still good. We watched a telenovela in Spanish, Jeff now sits next to me so I get the constant “You stalk Jeff”, “You like dog’s asses”, and “You like women” stuff from Keith and Jeff. Lol, for the record none of that is true. But it’s funny. Participated a lot in W.L.H.!! Molly, Claudia and I did this “dramatic read”. Claud C. was narrator, Molly was Tenorio and I was Ultima… funny, you just had to be there!!! Had guard stuff after school, messed up my triple and I was the only one who dropped so that was sad… esp. since it was like 10 yards away from me lol. Oh well, did the halt, jazz ran to my sabre, picked the mofo up and jazz ran backwards to my drill spot (while doing the work thank you very much). Heh, sad though… VERY embarrassing….

Got my progress report, very pleasing.
Girl’s 21- student is improving
Chem- student is doing excellent work, participates positively
Health- Performance is satisfactory, participates positively
Chorale- student is improving
Alg II- Performance is satisfactory
Spanish IV- Performance is satisfactory (but is says Karow?... My teacher is Potter? Should I be worried?.... CONFUSED!!!!!!! Better be her maiden name….)
World Lit. H- Student is doing excellent work
Concert Choir- (guess it, what else did Shaull say?) student is improving
Auxiliary Unit- student is doing excellent work

After the game we went to Sara’s house for the guard sleepover, I only stayed until 8ish though. We had Hanson’s, ate Doritos, had tons of pizza, fought over the See’s candy and watched a bunch of winter guard stuff. Not to mention the guard is hilarious. So mi novio (Adam, no not Garcia) came and picked me up, it was funny because he knocked and I knew it was him so I didn’t get up and Misty and Sara go to the door to answer it and I hear him intro himself. Then the rest of the guard RUNS over SCREAMING, and then I calmly get up. Very funny!

Anyway, had a great time with him. He met my parents, they drilled him, and he thinks they are awesome, my cat loves him! (extra brownie points there since she hates everyone other than me), and it was cute. We watched Office Space with my cat while my parents were in their room. It was cute, and there were lots of sweet little kisses here and there. But then 11 came by and it was time for him to go since I have guard in the morning so we had to go through the backyard since the sprinklers were on. So perfect! Movie perfect! We looked up at the sky, we could see a few stars and he pulled me close and kissed me, awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!! *sigh* Lots of kisses before he left since I’m a busy bee… *sigh* Did I mention my cat loves him?!

8 thoughts | Remove your mask?

:: 2004 14 September :: 11.47 pm
:: Mood: depressed

bleh... nyah...
Today was the day from hell... god, it sucked some major ass. I bombed my spanish make-up quiz, and I'm soooo close to being kicked off SLS that I cried for an hour while we did drill. No, you didn't imagine it and that's why Katie and most of the guard was hugging me. It's just that Ruch reminded me today I have 2 (should be 1) unexcused abscences and if I get three then I'm off SLS and that got me thinking... Last year, I always had my drill which was unnecessary cuz I had it memorized. I was almost never late, twice for when they made practice earlier. When Misty said "ideal guard member", she brought me up as an example. What I lacked in seniority, I made up with talent, drive and endless effort. This year, I lost the first drill sheet, left my drill at home, was late at least twice, my unexcused absences speak for themselves. I don't see why I'm on SLS, I don't deserve it. So we had an SLS meeting after and I tried my best to muffle myself but I couldn't, and by the end I was just letting the tears stream down. Then Misty motioned for me to come closer and she hugged me and then I explained to her about how I felt I was disappointing the group and all that jazz... Then she reassured me everyone makes mistakes and Carrie and Tiff hugged me, it was very reassuring... It was also awesome cuz other people hugged me and made me feel better before I went to the stupid Pre-PSAT/SAT thing... But I was still depressed and then Ruchie hugged me and said he was sorry for being hard on me earlier (for those in Chorale, I went into Mr. Shaull's/ Ruch's office to talk to Ruch about the SMUNC which lead to my absences), but I didn't have the strength to tell him it was good that he brought it up. I had lost sight of what is most important to me, and sad as it is, Color Guard and Marching Band is tied for most important in my life. It's my second family, when I'm pissed or sad I turn to the guard or if I'm at home I turn to my sabre. Anyway, yeah... still depressed and my knee still hurts (sliced the back of my knee since I was shaving before guard and started to cry over the whole thing since I was thinking about what I was going to tell Ruchie).

ON A HAPPY NOTE! I get to represent my lover aka Adrian. Katie and I are getting specific work for his part of the trio, and the other people are getting work for the other soloists and all that jazz... I think Carrie Bearie has a huge solo, I don't know though.


Remove your mask?

:: 2004 7 September :: 10.00 pm
:: Mood: nauseated and happy
:: Music: Mario Brothers Theme

I love my drill!!!
OMG! I love the drill! We watched the overview and it’s sooo awesome! NOT TO MENTION I’M IN THE CENTER OF THE BLOCK AND THEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DIAMOND SET AFTER THAT!!!! AHHHHHH!!!! I LOVE YOU MR. FLORENDO!!! Had a good laugh because they put me down as an 11th grader by mistake, funny stuff. So here’s my drill just because, you don’t need marching band to see how easy it is.
Set # Right-Left Back-Front
0 2.0 stps inside L 30 12.0 stps inside front side line
1 4.0 stps outside L 40 12.0 stps inside front side line
2 on L 35 12.0 stps inside front side line
3 2.0 stps outside L 40 12.0 stps inside front side line
4 2.0 stps outside L 40 12.0 stps inside front side line
5 2.0 stps outside L 40 8.0 stps inside front side line
6 2.0 stps inside L 35 12.0 stps inside front side line
7 2.0 stps inside L 35 12.0 stps inside front side line
8 4.0 stps outside L 35 12.0 stps inside front side line
9 4.0 stps outside L 35 12.0 stps inside front side line

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