For those who are either A) bored enough to read this, or B) Just have some time and feel like reading it. Both are essentialy the same thing, one is just said nicer :)


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From the depths of... Me.

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:: 2008 16 December :: 6.45pm

I think.... that I shouldn't even have a name anymore. No more going by Mandie or Amanda; Just M. That's all I hear anyway, so I'm not even sure I would respond if called by my actual name. =]

But seriously though? I really like change sometimes [hence the reason I'm dying mah hairs as we speak], and maybe switching up the name wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing? Idk. It's probably a ridiculously horrid and dumb idea, but since I'm journaling like a true pro, I'm just going to throw all of my random thought bubbles here =D

STILL a good day, even though for a brief moment in time I thought it was crumbling.

365 days of Sayche is pretty amazing, and I can't wait until we get through an entire year of taking a picture together every single day. I also can't wait until I can FINALLY get my Canon XSi. This airsoft season is going to fucking ROCK because my pictures are going to look so much more amazing =D Hopefully I'll be able to get a better grasp on my photography skills as well as dabble in photoshop a little so I can figure out how to watermark all of my work. I doubt this is ever something I'll be good enough to do professionally, but I absolutely adore it as a hobby right now =D

I'm excited to watch House tonight. And I still hate estrogen infested drama queens =]

But I LOVE mah woohu girl because she's amazing =] That's all.

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:: 2008 15 December :: 6.33pm

It.... was a good day. The morning was rough while I was lost in my thoughts of everything that happened over the weekend [WAYTOOMUCHDRAMA].

I realized that I don't know how to handle drama when I'm made a part of it. It's easy for me to distance myself from everyone else's unless it's coming from my best friend, and then it's just nice to hear all the dirt on the people I left in Wisconsin ;]

I'm incapable of productively channeling my feelings, and because I'm such an emotional and passionate individual when it's regarding my feelings, it's extremely difficult and next to impossible to just "let it go." I can't look at it as being "in the past" when it's still so fresh in my mind, and when just the thought of everything makes my blood boil.

I've also come to the conclusion that I seriously loathe [most] women, and I'm ridiculously glad that the majority of my friends are sporting cranks. Grats to you and your gd testosterone.

To all of my friends out there: "I've known him/her longer" is not a valid argument when someone tells you to back off/fuck off after flirting and/or openly expressing feelings of interest to your significant other. Also, when YOU fuck up by doing aforementioned things, do NOT try to make the innocent party feel guilty because feelings of absolute rage will ensue.

Girls who play those games should be punched in the fucking face.

/end rant.


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:: 2008 14 December :: 1.23am


She keeps making references to me being fat? How does that not make HER insecure? I never once said anything negative about the way she looks. I also never claimed to be some kind of model or beauty queen, but really? Who in this day and age seriously go out of their way to call someone fat every ten seconds without having some kind of serious insecurities about themselves?

I laughed in her face every single time, even though after hearing it idk how many times now, it's just starting to get under my nerves. If I had a serious weight issue, then I wouldn't be capable of brisk walking for around 8 hours a day like my job requires. Not only that, but being seriously over weight is not exactly attractive. If I wasn't at least remotely attractive, I can guarantee that I wouldn't be in a relationship right now. I don't care WHO you are, but to have a relationship that will work and last, there has to be SOME level of attraction between the two people involved in said relationship.

Little girls can go fuck themselves.

/end rant.

Tomorrow I'm tempted to take pictures of the texts with my cam cam just to post them for future comic relief. The only thing that I keep calling her is a dumb cunt or a dumb bitch =] That's only insulting her so called intelligence/common sense which is the only thing worth insulting since looks do not determine who a person is.

I need to find female Michigan friends who don't fail at every aspect of life, IMO. Wisconsin only has 3.

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:: 2008 14 December :: 12.37am

Sometimes... drinking is an okay thing. I have times where I get really emotional to the point where I'm hysteric, and then I have times where I am just tipsy/drunk enough to get everything off my chest and say everything that has needed to be said for a long time.

The latter was one of those nights, that was partially brought on by earlier events in the day and partially brought on by retardedly immature stupid ignorant cunt bags who felt the need to be dramatic tonight. Either way... things were said that needed to be said, and for now, I feel better about them; and I will continue to feel better about them until the "same routine" falls back into place.

I don't know how the days are going to play out, but I'm hoping that all the tears I shed weren't on empty ears or an uncaring shoulder.

My ex's current girlfriend has been harassing me for the majority of the night for no real apparent reason. Shawn contacted me a few days ago all upset because his girlfriend was acting funny and texting a guy with inappropriate messages. So they "broke up," I guess, and she sent me a text tonight letting me know that they were back together, and was a real bitch about it. For those of you who don't know me, I do NOT take that kind of shit from people, especially from those who don't know a goddamn thing about me. So, I've been texting her back for like the last hour because the fuck if I'm going to let her have the last goddamn word in. She's trying to threaten my car even though I have the title and BOTH of our names our on it, not to mention that it's separated by an OR so that means either one of us can sign the title to get it into either of our names. She's trying to tell me that I should just wait til the divorce... like he's going to take more from me? He was left with 95% of everything we owned. I moved to Michigan with nothing more than my computer, car, clothes, and camera because that's all that i could carry in my car. Who in their right mind would take what I took when Shawn makes more than I do and already has a practically brand new car? Not to mention that I haven't even SEEN divorce papers yet to sign lol.

Omg. This just reminds me of why I have next to NO female friends. They are all dramatic petty fucking cunt bags who all deserve to be punched in the goddamn face. If you are a female and on my friends list, you better count your goddamn blessings because you're obviously something special.

I am about ready to cut this bitches throat if she keeps threatening me. I hate girls. So much. But I'm too stubborn to let her get the last word in. Fuckkk


So much drama. I never have drama!

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:: 2008 13 December :: 2.11pm

Had a bad day again
She said I would not understand
She left a note and said, "I'm sorry I
had a bad day again"

She spilled her coffee, broke her shoelace
Smeared the lipstick on her face
Slammed the door and said, "I'm sorry I
had a bad day again"

And she swears there's nothing wrong
I hear her playing that same old song
She puts me off and puts me on

And had a bad day again
She said I would not understand
Left a note and said, "I'm sorry I
had a bad day again"


And she swears there's nothing wrong
I hear her playing that same old song
She puts me off and puts me on

Oh and had a bad day again
She said I would not understand
She left a note and said, "I'm sorry I
had a bad day...again"

She left a note and said, "I'm sorry I
had a bad day..."

Thank you, Fuel =\

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:: 2008 5 December :: 4.03pm

New phonee
So... Pj bought me an iPhone for Christmas =] Have I ever mentioned in here how much I effing love him? =P


Add it, use it, whatevs.


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:: 2008 22 August :: 9.22am

Cowboy TELEVISED preseason game tonight!!!!

I'm surprised that the 49'ers pulled off a win last night; the Bears were doing pretty damn well during the first half.

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:: 2008 20 August :: 9.29am

Well the job at MC is mine. I met with Ann this morning got a tour of my side of the building, and found out what exactly is going to be expected of me. I'm pretty excited because it sounds like I'm going to be fully trained to do Pj's mom's job as well as another woman who works in the same office. I'm also going to be trained to be a picker in shoes, and receiving, and I get to learn how to drive a hi-lo =D

It's now just a waiting game until Sue does my background check, which she should have done right away after my first interview when Ann originally told her that she wanted to hire me. Ann also said that she had to fight for me to get this job because Sue told her she's only supposed to hire people with warehouse experience which... doesn't make a lot of sense considering they've hired plenty of people without warehouse experience.

But anyway! The job is mineeee, and hopefully I'll get to start next week sometime.

I'm really excited =D

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:: 2008 18 August :: 12.19pm

So apparently the HR woman from MC called me this morning. It was from an unknown number, and I never answer calls from an unknown number or a number that I don't recognize. 2 HOURS later, I got a voicemail. Naturally I called her back right away, and of course I get her voicemail. So, now I'll be lucky if I get a call back before 2pm when Ann leaves, which is who I'm assuming I'll be meeting with since Sue said that the assistant manager wanted to meet with me regarding open positions.

God damnit.

It would be REALLY great if my phone actually got reception in my own fucking home.

/end QQ's.

It was a really great weekend, btw. I hope that the week continues on that way.

I'm looking to get rid of my Sunfire because, well, I want something that's fun to drive, and to be honest, I don't feel like putting any money in to the car to get it fixed. I have a feeling that something seriously bad will go wrong with it, and I don't have the money or care enough about the car to get it fixed. Sooooooooo I looked on for a 5 speed that's in the area, and a lot in Holland has a 96 Jetta GLS for $3900. I fell in love. IN LOVE. It's white, which is perfect because it seems to fit the body style well. It's my favorite Jetta body style which is REALLY exciting. Power everything, SUNROOF, 103k miles, and it's a fucking Jetta. Cute as hell, imo.


I don't have 4k to spend however, and Idk how much I can get for a trade in with the condition my Sunfire is in. I also don't think I would be able to get financing because of my credit even if it's one of those places that says they can do financing for bad credit.

I still want to go look at it and drool a little bit =[ And have Pj test drive it for me, since he knows what a 5 speed is supposed to feel and sound like. Sigh.

I was just talking about how I love the older style Jettas too =[ I'd like to think this is some sort of sign, but I doubt it. It's just some higher power being a cock tease. For the cock that I don't have. Cunt tease? Hahaha. That works.

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:: 2008 15 August :: 9.11am

Right. So. Cleaning the bathroom is probably the most disgusting chore there could ever possibly be, and it's even worse because there is cat hair EVERYWHERE. It was so disgusting that I'm leaving the door closed from now on just to keep them out of there so I never have to deal with that again.

I have.. I wouldn't necessarily say a phobia, and I wouldn't really call it OCD, but I HATE when my hands get dirty, or when anything remotely gross comes in contact with them, and I absolutely HATE hair when it's not attached to someone's head. So yea. That was just the worst. Wet cat hair that won't come off of the wash cloth which forces me to touch it. Omfg. Gag reflex was definitely getting some exercise in that brief period of time. I probably did a half assed job too because I couldn't stand it, and I felt so disgusting =x

I STILL want to scrub my hands after I just spent like 5 minutes washing them in the kitchen sink.

I'm letting my stomach settle a little bit before I go back in to clean the mirror.

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:: 2008 13 August :: 2.32pm

Apparently the interview I had was for formality purposes, and the woman that Pj has been talking to told him that I was being hired regardless =]

Soooooooo YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
adhaskldjaskl;djasl;djas; =]]]]]]]]]]

I'm just waiting to find out my start date =]
Good bye Chase!

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:: 2008 13 August :: 9.50am

I completely lost the high that I was on yesterday.

I had my interview this morning, and I don't think it went well at all. She wasn't very responsive which makes it really hard for me to keep up the energy. Not only that, but I don't have any experience doing warehouse type things, and I was under the impression that I was going to get a 2nd interview right away based on a conversation that Pj had yesterday, and instead of getting a 2nd interview, she told me that she had 5 people coming back for 2nd's, and I wouldn't find out until the end of next week IF I even get a 2nd.

So I'm pretty much feeling like shit. I had to do that math test too. ffs. I haven't done math like that since fricken high school, so I'm not feeling too confident about that either.

She asked me if my current supervisor would say that I'm dependable, and I answered really defensively, and I couldn't stop no matter how hard I tried. I just keep thinking about how Becky threatened to cut my hours because I couldn't stay late one day, and she told me that I wasn't reliable.



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:: 2008 12 August :: 11.20am

Interview tomorrow morning at 9am!
Wish me luck!!!!!

I am in SUCH A GOOD FUCKING MOOD. I just hope that it lasts until I get home ;] And even if it doesn't? I have the most INCREDIBLE boyfriend in the whole fucking state of Michigan the Midwest the country WORLD, and he excels at putting me back into my normal saychie mood =D =D =D =D =D

Omgggggg <333333333333333333333333

Okay! To work I go. Actually, gas first.. then work.

Have a great fucking day, kids =]

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:: 2008 11 August :: 7.15am

MC called on Friday to set up an interview. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to call back while she was still at work, but I did leave her a voicemail. I'm expecting a call from her sometime this morning to find out if I can go in on Tuesday morning or Wednesday to meet with her.

I don't normally remember my dreams, but there was a bad one this morning =[ Kelly and Pj got into a car accident, and Rachel and I were [obviously] crying in the emergency room while we waited. Apparently Pj wasn't waking up, and they kept saying it was because he was sleeping, not because he was in a coma. I was certain that wasn't true, because although he's a heavy sleeper, he's not impossible to wake up.

Needless to say I woke up this morning in tears, and I've been fighting the urge to call him to find out if he's truly okay. The only reason why I'm not is because he doesn't even carry his phone on him while he's at work, so I still wouldn't hear from him until around 2.

I'm really fricken tired, and I do not feel like going into work today and dealing with my manager for 9 hours. Sigh.

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:: 2008 8 August :: 7.22am

I am eagerly awaiting a phone call to set up an interview at MC Sports. I'm not sure I can properly express how excited I am! I'm trying really really hard not to get my hopes up too high in case things don't work out in my favor, but it's proving to be quite difficult =x Any possible hope of getting away from Chase makes me ridiculously giddy *le sigh*

The only thing that I can see being an issue is that I've never had any kind of experience in a warehouse environment, but I do have Pj and his amazing mom backing me, so hopefully that will make up for the lack of experience.

So with that, I hope everyone has a good day. I'll be in hell for the next 10 hours, but it's Friday so maybe today will go by fast.

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