always let your conscience be your guide


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:: 2019 13 May :: 10.29pm

Time is a rubber band.

wish upon a star


:: 2019 11 May :: 6.51am

I don't know why I moved to this apartment. It's empty. It's lonely.

I thought he would be here with me. I craved more so I thought having a place to stay together would be beneficial after the cost of those hotel visits.

Now I find myself alone almost all the time. It's not easy. It does not help with motivation. My depression is sky high and I don't think I can fix it now. Not without him around.

It's Woodinville all over again only this time I can't just drive 10 minutes to see him.

You know that feeling when you realize you need someone just a little bit more than they need you?

1 Jiminy Crickets!!! | wish upon a star


:: 2019 10 May :: 12.49pm

wish upon a star


:: 2019 8 May :: 6.43am

update to favorite word list:

wrinkle wrinkly wrinkles wrinkled

wish upon a star


:: 2019 28 April :: 12.19am
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: "Running Down to Cuba"

At the in-law's whilst they plan funeral services for my father-in-law. He was the magnanimous old man who kept the familial machine running.

To be completely frank, I feel cast adrift without him, but optimistic in the sense that, like my maternal grandfather before him, I'll be forced to develop further as an adult without having the luxury of a wise elder holding my hand. I can reasonably assume, dear reader, that you're acquainted with death and the complexity of its aftermath in regards to the living.

The hour grows late, and I had initially plonked my ass down at the computer to relay ponderous rambles and pompous declarations of insight, as is my wont, but I just don't have it in me. Trust that things are fine, they'll turn out alright if they aren't already, and that capitulation is frowned upon.


wish upon a star | Random Journal