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godessalthena

:: 2023 5 December :: 5.13am

I think at this point I can spill the beans... well bean (singular)

I am almost 8 weeks pregnant! after a few miscarriages I think this one is going to stick around. I'm due in July, two days after my bestie's birthday and once day after my brother's birthday.

I am so excited to embark on this journey with my husband. I have lost 35 lbs in preparation and have been trying very hard to eat healthy and exercise regularly.

we saw it's lil heart beating on an ultrasound, it was the size of a blueberry. I almost cried. it looks like part of the horse head nebula in there. morning sickness is fucking horrible and same with the cramps, insomnia and pains... I miss sushi. but all are small prices to pay for an opportunity like this.

been working at a craft store part time. it wears me the fuck out and makes me fuckin hate boomers but the discount is nice and I have my own spending money. it's also an excuse to get out of the house and meet new people. not everyone is bad but we don't have too many people working any given day so it's exhausting trying to do the job of 3 people with just one. my supervisor said I do so well he forgot I'm new.

I was so scared to tell my parents because they always said don't have kids, but when I told mom she was SO excited. I haven't really told my dad yet, just because I don't want to lose it and have to tell him that too. he fell down the stairs the other day.. fractured 3 ribs and punctured a lung, had to stay overnight on the hospital. he's doing better but damn. they are getting old :(

I am so scared I'm going to be a terrible mom. or the world will be so fucked up life will be really hard for them as they grow up. but we talked to a financial advisor and he said we are in great shape for our age and that we can even afford for me to be a stay at home mom. I think that'll make a huge difference in it kids life.

ahhhh so much stuff

5 --- | try again


goodbye

:: 2023 4 December :: 9.32pm

You are literally killing me. I have heart pains from this. This is completely unsustainable. It's impossible being in this, with you. It doesn't matter if I enjoy your company when things are good or if I love you deeply, it is causing my limited time on this earth to be all the more limited due to the incredible stress you put me through every other day.

I can't do this anymore.

try again


godessalthena

:: 2023 12 November :: 7.23am

don't want to make any announcements, but some big news is in the works.

just don't want to jinx it.

working at the craft store has been such a fun experience! I love getting to do a bunch of different things, being active at my job, the discount is amazing. my coworkers.... all much younger than me, stoned at work all the time, baby faced complainers. but as long as I just put my head down and stay on task shit just feels right.

I know our how will be cut after the holidays, but I am hopeful that maybe I'm valuable enough to keep around. if not, that's fine too.

1 --- | try again

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