Tommorow
When tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes All
filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;

But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.

I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.

When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity,
And all I've promised you."
Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew.

I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day's the same way
There's no longing for the past.

You have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true.
Though there were times
You did some things
You knew you shouldn't do.

But you have been forgiven
And now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand
And share my life with me?

So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.

You Don't Feel This Way

Midnight Kiss

Once upon a midnight kiss
I lost my soul to evil bliss
The shadow on my window sill
Swept away all thought and will
In the deepest hour of night
No strength to scream or fight

Radiating beauty and hot desire
She kindled in me such raging fire
From all the years of lonely yearning
The culmination of passion burning
Eagerly dying to be captured
Utterly consumed with lust for rapture

And now there is only the pain
Punctuated by floods of blood
Other emotions reined and bound
Mortal peace ne'er more be found
At times I bask in hellish glory
But wish to end this sad story

Greatness

Stuff
4th of july is overrated .... it was pretty boring day. went to jeffy's sisters and spent the day there. watched some shitty fireworks .. I don't get fireworks .. there so "pretty" but have no use. spend money to shoot it in the air .. might as well sent fire to some cash.

errrrrrrg
you know what .. today I woke up and decided that so far ... my last summer in the dub P has totally sucked ... besides my 2 upcomming trips ..... I can't think of anything that happened that was good ... way to go summer ..... bah

/rant off

Yeeeaaaaaaaa
Today Is My Birthday ... You May All Bow Down And Kiss My Feet Now ....


Thank You For Your Time



Muhahahah

I Are Bored
well im frickin bored right now .. jeff came over and woke my ass up ... I was so pissed off .. bleh ... I stole this thing off my friend and since im THIS bored ima do it ... heh


1) First Grade Teacher: Mrs Beck
2) Last word you said: Bye
3) Last song you sang: house of a 1000 corpses
4) Last person you hugged: jeff
6) Last time you said 'I love you': too long ago
7) Last time you cried: few nights ago
8) What's in your CD player: mixes
9) What color socks are you wearing: no socks
10) What's under your bed: dust ... i don't really know
11) What time did you wake up today: 12:30 cuz of jeff
12) Current taste: wendys
13) Current hair: shaved
14) Current clothes: SRU cut off and some shorts
15) Current annoyance: too many to name right now
16) Current longing: my home.
17) Current desktop picture: the bleu jelly scence from old school
18) Current worry: im done worryin bout stuff
19) Current hate: hahah ....
20) Story behind your LJ username: its my nickname ....
21) Current favourite article of clothing: um my boxers .. there pretty sexy right now
22) Favourite physical feature of the opposite sex/same sex: eyes are everything ...
23) Last CD that you bought: i don't buy CDs
24) Favourite place to be: anyplace cold
25) Least favourite place: wit certain ppl
26) Time you wake up in the morning: 1 or 2 in the after noon .. unless i gotta work
27) If you could play an instrument, what would it be: the harp
28) Favorite color: baby blue
29) Do you believe in an afterlife: of course
30) How tall are you: 6"1'
31) Current favourite word/saying: F off
32) Favorite book: anything by T.S Elliot
33) Favorite season: Winter
34) One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: Father
35) Favorite day: don't have one .. there all useless days .. just a countdown b4 the end
36) Where do you want to go: UNC
37) What is your career going to be like: sumthin wit computers ..
38) How many kids do you want?: right now .. i don't really know
39) What kind of car will you have: something nice
40) Type a line you remember from any book: the end
41) A random lyric: "I was blind... but o how you could see .. you saw the beauty in me .. and everything .. sweet misery you caused me .. thats what you called me ... "
42) Identify some things surrounding your computer: speakers .. bunch of shit ...

.....
Even When Im Sad and Depressed ... Silly Shit Like This always Seems to Make Me Smile just a Little Bit


http://www.starterupsteve.com/swf/Group_X_video.html

Finally ...
Well Finally something to make me smile this week ....

was drivin home from work yesterday and all of the sudden ... I was like .. Mom, I want to go to Florida .. and Soon .. well she looked at me wit a puzzled look and I was like .. no , for real. I haven't been to our house down there in 2 years and I wanna go Damn it. So she was like fine, Ill set it up and today it was set up. I am just happy I can get away from the world for awhile .. Im thinkin about draggin Jeffy along so I can have some fun .. if he gets over his fear of flyin .. pussy .. but the best part of it is ... the week Im going is the week after I get back from ocean city ... so soon as I get back I will have to re pack and leave again .. 2 weeks off of life is going to be great .. Need to clear my Mind anyway .. This Trip can't come soon enough ....

Hmmm me and Jeff alone in Florida .. That should be interesting ...

ok .. enough of me being happy .. time to go back to being depressed =(

Bleeeeeeeh
Past few days have sucked :( nuff said ....

< Enter Your Own Here >
well its finally done .. graduation is over. I am indeed one happy person. although there is still some stuff bringin me down, but thats life .. you get happy shit .. then of course depressin shit ... I thought I was over being depressed .. but I guess I was just so use to the tears .. that I can't give them up ... so what did I do after graduation ? well I followed my heart and stayed sober and watched a movie .. It made me laugh a little so that was a good thing ... then my mother wanted to watch that gay ass slideshow thingie ... and then I just got sad again ... too many memories... Just woke up a little bit ago .. gonna go play some ball I think at the Y .. only got a week left to practice ... Maybe Ill try to cook some lunch and will hurt myself like otherwise and will bleed to death ... sounds like fun to me right now .. Im done ranting ..

I took this silly quiz .. I was bored ..

Lata



ah yes. the iris. you are the mysterious one of
the bunch. you sometimes have a sad tinge
about you, yet you're still great to be around.
you probably have a deep poetic soul. express
it if you aren't already. you probably like to
be alone, but when you do get out with your
friends you enjoy it. you really are a trend
setter, even if you may not realise it. people
are drawn to your charisma and want to be like
you. try to have a more optimistic outlook--
things are probably better than they seem!


what non-stereotypical flower would you be (with pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

Lonely
well .. 16 hours till the big event.. Graduation .. I Can't even sleep im so excited. I just can't stop thinking about how many good times I have had in the past 4 years.. of course there are those bad times too, but we won't go there tonight. I really won't miss Geibel at all, just most of the people. Ive met some really good people and its a shame that some of them im never going to see again. Im gonna miss some of them alot, but hey .. what are you gonna do .. life goes on I guess. Im going to miss good ol JR alot heh .. I might even go and visit that brilliant man .. hell maybe one day buy him a beer and shoot the breeze wit him. There are gonna be alot of tears tommorow .. Well deserved tears , we had a good class and I only hope the best for all of them .. Yea .. Even Big Al .. Me, I dunno yet .. I Might Shed a Few Tears .. Just depends on the moment I guess .. Life is just a bunch of lil moments that happen one after another .. I Just like to wait and see what happens .. Shit , Maybe something crazy will happen and someone will fall off the stage .. That would go over real well .. well I already did the shout outs in a recent entry so you can just go back and look at it there .. im not gonna re write all of that .. heh .. but I do wish the best for the Class of 2003 and Congratz to all
I Look very forward to the last summer in the WP wit my friends n G/F .. its gonna be a blast ... Im getting tired now .. Maybe I can force myself to sleep now ... Sweet Dreams All

##$##
Even when I Have What I Want ... and When I am 110% Happy ... Shit Still Goes Wrong ... Why ... Why Me .. Why Can't I Just Be Happy.. Why Can't People Just Let me Be Happy ... I Don't Understand Life At All Yet ... I Hope I Will One Day ..

Dreamz
One day I hope I will wake up and all my problems will just go away and be solved ....

W00t !!!!!!
well .. its finally come to an end. I am now done with high school. its been a long ass ride, gradeschool to High school... I am so happy to be done with it all. Hard to think that im really out in the "real" world now as they say, all by myself. I Guess I am sorta prepared for it. Im a little scared though .. what if I can't take it.. ? grrr I don't even what think about the what ifs yet. I got all summer to worry about that... now for my last day of classes today.. overall I didn't do shit. sat there and just thought about stuff .. smiled alot :)

for some shout outs that are very well needed

Jeff -- Your my bestest bro in the world .. even when you piss me off you still always be there for me.. its been a long ride for us now man .. 17 years ? shit .. too many times to remember .. coo coo clock ? haha we are so bad ... I can't wait for this summer

Anthony -- Same Wit you man .. 17 years and going .. so many memories .. thanx for always being there ... even when your an asshole .. still luv ya

Bob -- damn dude these past 4 years ... we had some kick ass times ... you be my baby girl and I be you hamster haha .. thanx bro

Tim -- You my friend .. Besides me .. you are the only other person who is just as heartless as me.. haha I love you too man .. thanx for the good times

Caitlin -- haha still think you can break my ankles eh ? we have had some blasts of our own.. Im gonna miss you makin fun of me all the time .. and now ? who am I gonna hit for fun ? haha thanx girl

Gretel -- ooo where to even begin here .. im gonna miss you alot girl. I think you and I just about hated everyone :) good times ... very good times .. right avon boy ? eh .. blow me

Kira -- Thanx for always being there for me .. and those titties .. o god .. im going to miss them alot !! lol ..

and finally ...

Nicole -- what can I say ? you make me so happy. We have had the best of times and I only hope to have more. You been there for me through some rough times. You listened and accepted things when no one else would. Thank You for everything hunny ...

ok .. enough .. before I fucking cry or something ... Monday is the farewell mass .. I know everyone is gonna cry like lil whores there .. and that will make me sad .. so maybe Ill let a tear slide out there ....

Good Times
well today was pretty decent .. it was kenny wood day so no school. Took in a movie. Came home and guess what ? SRU accepted me. So, I Am So Happy. I Can't Sleep At All. Im Just so Happy. The past 3 weeks have been, to say the least, Great. I have 4 days left and I just been sittin here now, re living the past 4 years. Had some pretty good times, times Im going to miss, but never forget. Times I want to ferget and Can't. Im Lookin forward to the summer, although its going to be difficult in more ways then one, It should be a very fun summer. So when I was writtin my term paper tonight I had alot of random thoughts going through my mind. So after my paper was finished .. you know me, started to write. You all can have your opions on this one, but honestly I don't give a fuck what you think. Only 2 people I care about, and they understand. So let the flames begin....


"When I'm with you, nothing else matters.
All I care about is that you are happy.
I can't say that I am looking forward to next year.
I love you with all my heart.
I will always be there for you.
I always have.
As long as you are happy, I will support you 100%.
You have so much going for yourself.
I want you to live your life for you, and not for anyone else.
Baby, I am going to miss not seeing you everyday.
I know I will be crying the day of your graduation.
You and I have gone through so much.
I have sacraficed a lot to be with you.
Because you are the only one in my heart.
You are the only one who I care about.
I can't say things won't change,
because they will.
For the better, or for the worst,
whenver you need me, I will be there.
No matter where you are,
no matter where I am,
No matter who your with,
no matter who I am with,
no matter what happens.
I will always be there for you.
You make my life so much happier.
You make me glad to be alive.
You are so special to me.
It is so hard for me to say goodbye.
You are my best friend.
You are my only love.
You are mine,
and I am yours.
I fear the day,
when I will no longer be yours.
I fear the day,
when I can no longer say,
'I love you'.
I fear the day,
where I look at you with tears in my eyes,
trying to say the words,
'Good-bye, and goodluck. We will keep in touch.'
I fear the day,
I wait for your email,
to see how you are doing.
I fear for the day,
when we see eachtother and have an 'artifical conversation'.
I fear for the day,
when I recieve your wedding invation,
and I make the choice to mark the box 'yes' or 'No'.
I hate the fact, that I must think realisticly,
for it is much more unbearable.
Baby, I love you.
I will always love you.
You are the one I can see keeping in touch with,
and being there for me when I just can't take it anymore.
I love you Nicole, I love you so much.
I will never ever, leave you. I will always be yours.
Now and Forever."

o no
last period .. 5 days to go .. im gonna go nuts .. i wanna leave .. i have to get out .. i can't take it anymore ... although on the brighter side of things i get to talk to my baby fer awhile after school ... own ! i are so happy .. weeeee whoa is me ! lalalalalal

i love j00

bye bye

blank ....
well I am really awake right now ... its almost 3:30 in the morning .. and i don't know what it is ... Im either really lonely =/ or just Not Tired .. Been Thinking about this past week .. alot of special events have happened .. some good ones .. some bad ones .. and some really good ones =D

I have 9 days of my high school career left... that makes me happy

I have a wonderful girlfriend .. that makes me really happy

I have the whole summer ahead of me .. that makes me very happy !!
but
I got the whole summer with my friends and girlfriend .. and that just tops it all =D

so enough rambling ... i was Bored and took these quiz's .. hehe Im happy with the results


Red:
Aren't you the romantic? Life is poetic. If you
don't already, write poetry, you're good at it.


What color do you see the world in?
brought to you by Quizilla



your asshole.


What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla





I'm just a cool person. People like me.


Why do people read your Livejournal?
brought to you by Quizilla




Your Heart is Red


What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

WEEEEEEEEE !!
ok so like .. im happy ! very very very very happy ! everyone already knows why duh ! heheh .. been waitin long enough

today it all came together :) ! ! ! ! !
im so happpy ... hehe hehe hehe i can't stop smiling .. step one is done ... now .. step two ... grrrrrrrrr ... so many chances fer step two ... bah .... o well ... soon soon ... ok enough of my feelings fer tonight

f off al

caitlin ... hehe .. hehe ... eheheheheheheh =D


ooo also today i got 2 new baby twin girls :) since my wife .. ( damn u gretel ) .. killed our 1st born son ... =( ! but all is good

yep
I find it so funny that people find my life so amusing to them ... but w-h-a-t-e-v-e-r

im bad im bad .. i do what i want ...

so fuck off =O

Boring Old Stuff
So Like im reallllly bored sittin here in last period of my long day and all I can think about is 2 things ... getting outta school .. and ... well you just have to guess the other ;)

school is gay nuff said ... i can't wait till i get outta here ... soooo soon .. i really can't wait for the summer to be wit someone and just have some fun ... go to the beach wit the crew and have a good ol time !@!

part of me will miss some of these people cuz i prolly won't ever see there sorry asses again .. but the other part of me is just so excited ... these past few days have been prolly the best of my sorry ass life !! im sooo happpy ... o sooo happy ! *dances* !!

ok im done lata ! ;)

W00t !
Last night was our sr prom. it was so much fun. we all had a blast .. the limo ride there was pretty fun too. the theme was a night in paris .... fuck the french btw .. heh but it was ok i guess .. they had the school set up really nice for post prom. it was really a romantic settin.. i was pissed off they didn't have a DJ there like last years post prom .. i still wanted to dance the night away lol ... i was one happppy person last night :) :) :)
thank you for that ... after post prom we decided to go to eat n park fer breakfeast .. bleh !!! ... so i rolled into my house about 8 am next morning .. dove into bed and now got up at 6 and time to do some good ol JR homework .. gotta love that guy .. haha .. ok thats enough fer now ..

:P

Hardcore
well im pretty bored right now so i decided to type away like a field in here about some random thought i got going on in my mind right now. im sittin in microsoft ghey class suppose to be takin some test but i haven't started yet and i got 10 mins left in class .. hahhaha and the sad thing is im still gonna get an A.. damn im good.. i been lookin at some types of poetry and readin them to myself and thinking .. damn this is some deep shit .. i wish i could get that deep in thought and then express myself in words on paper :( but i guess im not that skilled ... o well ill stick with computers heh

so here i go ramblein ... well la la la !

maybe ill write some more junk in here later .. if im up to it .. who knows my moods change more then anything i know of ..

Yeppers
today was a semi good day i guess ... kicked off the wannabe "summer" wit the openin softball game ... my arm is so sore ... o well it happens ... gonna go hit some golf balls i think and maybe a flick .. call it a night .. think about stuff .. relax .. maybe write some stuff ...

sorry to everyone .... i am a true asshole ... sigh