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It's in your dreams, it's in disguise, So you should try to free your mind

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labyrinth

:: 2020 28 November :: 12.43am

Death
My father is ill, and I'm staying home with him because he was told by a doctor he'd die soon, which I don't know if it's 1-3 months or later. Don't know. I already have plans to get a job if I have to be alone. I don't want him to die. Life is better with him but eventually, I have to be alone. Relatives don't care about me. I've never felt so alone in my life.

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labyrinth

:: 2020 21 November :: 6.38pm

Weight Journey
Since I haven't gotten myself a planner. I'll just write about my weight journey here. I think it's day four of eating one meal. I had half of a Subway sandwich and 50% less sugar vanilla milk tea. That's all I'm having today. I drink 2-3 glasses of water for 3 days now. I'm at 128 pounds. I hope to get to 110 pounds. The lowest weight in my life was 101 pounds. My ultimate goal was always 90 pounds or less. But my first goal is 110 to put less pressure on myself.

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labyrinth

:: 2020 20 November :: 9.21pm

I've decided to start keeping a planner to keep track of when I diet or when I have to eat because someone buys food for me. I never have to worry about not having food. Everyone is too focused on eating.

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labyrinth

:: 2020 20 November :: 9.16pm

Trying to lose weight all the time
It's been nearly 15 years since I tried keeping my weight off but never successfully kept it off. I've lost weight and at the same time gain weight easily. Most of it was the food people gave me. My dad bought a lot of food in my younger years and he still does it recently but not as much. I tell him often I want to lose weight. He has lupus and often feels ill so he's not paying much attention to me dieting. He loves to see me eat and will spend money on food, but his illness kept him from checking to see what I eat in a day.

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labyrinth

:: 2020 19 November :: 4.15pm

So, I've been listing things for sale online with free shipping worldwide but the problem is I don't think anyone sees my listings. I don't have any following on Depop because I just created the site 3 days ago. I'm giving it half a year to see some sales. I remember posting on WordPress and getting a sale within a day but this one might take more time.

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labyrinth

:: 2020 15 November :: 8.42pm
:: Mood: creative

Memo Pads Obsessed
I'm thinking about getting myself some gifts for Christmas. I've been obsessed with stationery especially memo pads and sticker sheets. Not just any stationery though. I'm obsessed with Korean stationery because I've never seen anything like it. It is so cute, beautiful, creative, and imaginative. I don't think they look like memo pads too because the artwork/design takes up the whole page. If you're curious about what I'm talking about, google put_so_nyeon and click images. If someone wanted to give me Christmas gifts, I would want them to know they should order from the put_so_nyeon website to get those memos to send to me, lol.

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goodbye

:: 2020 31 October :: 8.10am

Why am I so used to fucking apologizing for everything... Fuck this shit.

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