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It's in your dreams, it's in disguise, So you should try to free your mind

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goodbye

:: 2016 21 November :: 7.07pm

God I love my friends. So so much. Kayla and Anna. Julez and Bill and Nathan. Jessica. Lizzie. Celeste. I just feel so blessed to have people in my life who love me and care about how I'm doing and ask me if I'm alright. This week of all weeks I can say how thankful I am for them.

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goodbye

:: 2016 18 November :: 7.22pm

Looking at graduate programs. Everything is so fucking expensive. And difficult to figure out.

I hate being an adult.

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goodbye

:: 2016 15 November :: 1.06am

So I've watched 2 episodes of Black Mirror. It seems to be from a nhialist point of view. Sick as fuck, but it doesn't really matter. Very interesting concept.

It's bringing up alot of negative emotions I had this summer. As did the end of the last series I watched. I don't really understand the point of my existence. Each day is not a new adventure, it's just going through the same motions. I'm stuck in an invisible cage. My human consciousness has made me aware that nothing matters and I'm living to die.

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goodbye

:: 2016 10 November :: 11.44am

I am so truly disheartened...
Sexism wins again. Faithless electors ruined this country 16 years ago and they've done it again. A mysoginist, bigoted idiot will always beat out the most qualified candidate if the latter is a female. Fuck Donald J. Trump. Fuck all of you who voted for him. Fuck an American society bread from fear and hate of the other and the "weak." Fuck a two-party system. Fuck 2016 and another 4 years (and likely 8) of this insanity. With party majority, all minority rights will be stripped, all social services will be taken away, a supreme court member will be chosen who will continue to rape the progress of this country, and myself, and all the women and girls, and non-white people, and non-Christians, and LGBTQ+, and liberals/socialists, and disabled, and everyone who is not rich will be royally marginalized even more-so than we were a week ago by a man who should never have ever been able to win. Revolution won't be possible with everyone's faces in their goddamn phones and on social media and at any rate, any sort of "civil" war would be lost because the right has all the guns.

If all hope wasn't lost already, it is now.

I'd like to say I'm stunned. I'd like to say I'm in shock and am experiencing disbelief... but I actually thought this was entirely possible. Did I expect it? Not really... part of me, I guess. Honestly, the people in power will never relinquish it and fear is all that will govern this country until it implodes - something far more likely to happen with this giant douche in control of the nuclear codes.

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goodbye

:: 2016 6 November :: 7.16am

At this stage, I don't even want to be informed anymore. I'm so tired of the hate and extremism and killing and terrorists and evangelicals and materialism and lying and assholes that I just never want to read or watch any "news" - or rather, people being dicks - ever again.

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goodbye

:: 2016 5 November :: 6.03pm

My life is pretty fucking great. What am I always complaining about?

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labyrinth

:: 2016 5 November :: 4.03pm
:: Mood: happy

My sibling resigned from work last month. The packing was done today. She got a new job already. Then left earlier this morning. Her job is filled with challenges. I really do respect her for everything she's done. I might not be at my best all the time.

Listening to The Sisters of Mercy's First and Last and Always. What a great feeling. My favorite band. Didn't like them the first time I listened which was 10 years ago.

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