hOw yOu chanGe my wOrld , yOu'll neVerr' knOw .
anGel of miine color=white>
piiCk me up now , ii need you SOO bad .


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:: 2004 18 June :: 7.11 pm

omg. me and chris's pony turned gothic.. lol. and we're not sure if its a boy or a girl. her his it's name is bibbles.. if any of you are interested in taking part in paying for our pony support please call me!! ;)

1 dr0p everything | start it all 0ver...

:: 2004 18 June :: 5.53 pm
:: Music: dc- hands down

why do so many people talk shit to get attention?to be annoying? well i hate people like that....thats all they do its like there life or something>> >I< >HATE< >HER< so0o0o0o0o much.....n her gay little friends thats all they do is talk crap bout me n try to get shit started with me n my friends or worst BOYFRIEND but i wont let that happen ill fight till the end cuz im determined.......that sounded corny but i hate it when people who talk shit doubt me.......britt knows how determined ive become these past weeks.... so im gonna fight......un till i win....but g2g im bored lol gonna go do sunthin

^^^^ callis entry

so you hate me.. and you hate my friends.. and your gonna fight??
alrighty.and another thing.. you dont like being talked about. well. >I< >HATE< >HER< so0o0o0o0o much.....n her gay little friends. that whole fucking entry is about me. and that is talking crap. and dont put in your lil journal that im the one talking. your mouth is never shut
^^^ my comment

calli then sed that she wasnt talking about me

kayla not everything is about you!!!!!!! that journal isnt for you ok!!!! i have a life....n its not all about you i dont n=know why you think it is....i dont care wut you n your friends leave me alone n stop jumping to conclusions when you dont even know the story....NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU n i wasnt talking crap about that person i was stating an i told brittany i think your sweet n pretty so why would i start stuff with you when i dont even talk to you ne more....hmmm w/e i gotta go to my life guard camp>>>> if you want ill just stop "trying" to be friends with you mk you can have wut you have always wanted....

^^^^^ callis next entry

the fact that you kinda do talk about me. and a lot of ppl tell me that.. i "jumped to the conclusion" that that entry was bout me. who else do you hate and all her gay friends.. talking crap and "stealing your boyfriend".. i thought i was the only person who was trying to do that.
^^^^ my comment
so see you are trying to screw things up with me n him....w/e

^^^ callis reply

i thought i was the only person who was trying to do that.
^^^ thats what you always say. not what i think. but you do. and i was the one telling you how much he talks about you. would i be saying things like that if i wanted to screw you guys up. if you think i can do that.. your insecure.
^^ my reply

calli, you didnt get it. you always tell me that im trying to steal chris."try to get shit started with me n my friends or worst BOYFRIEND" and since you sed that entry wasnt about me.. i asked if therr was ne one else trying to "steal" your b/f. once again.. IM NOT FUKKIN TRYING TO STEAL HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

start it all 0ver...

:: 2004 16 June :: 9.36 pm

becky wants to put a hammer through someones head ... me tooo
grrrr. grrrr. grrrr.
someones journal entry is making me mad. how would you like it if someone sed that they hate you and your friends?and therr reason was that they talked crap about them? and what if they. as they were typing this little entry put >HATE< >HER< so0o0o0o0o much.....n her gay little friends.. i have a question for all of you. and you can comment if you want.. wouldnt that be considered talking crap????

3 dr0p everything | start it all 0ver...

:: 2004 11 June :: 10.29 pm
:: Music: sugarcult -- memory

This may never s t a r t .
We could fall [a][p][a][r][t].
And I'd be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
Feelings insincere.
Can I be your memory?

So get back, back, back to where we l a s t e d.
Just like I imagine.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the d-i-s-a-s-t-e-r.
My heart's beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.

This may never s t a r t.
I'll tear us [a][p][a][r][t].
Cannot be your enemy.
Losing half a year.
Waiting for you here
I'd be your anything.

So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I i-m-a-g-i-n-e.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the DISASTER.
My heart's beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.

This may never s t a r t .
Tearing out my [h][e][a][r][t].
I'd be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
(I'd be your memory)
Feelings dISSAppear.
Can I be your memory?

So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I i-m-a-g-i-n-e.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the disaster.
My heart's beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.

This may never s t a r t.
We could fall (a)(p)(a)(r)(t)
And I'd be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
Feelings insincere.
Can I be your memory?

2 dr0p everything | start it all 0ver...

:: 2004 11 June :: 4.15 pm

give lala91 more *HUGS*

Get hugs of your own

hehe.. i got hugz from britt's journal!! love ya <3 frosti!!
tater tot lol.

1 dr0p everything | start it all 0ver...

:: 2004 9 June :: 4.01 pm

hey yall.. sowwy havnt ^dated in awhile!! this ones for you britt!! lol. [[my older sister that takes me to nifti places]].. um. this week has been well not that exciting. been @ baileys for 4 days in a row. we have vball camp at mariner.. learnin lots of shitt. baileys sister brooke takes us every day cuz shes coaching. i miss brittany.. she needs to come back now!!.
baileys pissed right now b/c rach lied to her mom and got her in trouble. lol.. i think every thign will be 0ok.. god, i need to go to california.. its fukkin awesome, been therr.. and i love it. i think thats where im a gonna move! lol <3333.. maybe my older sis who takes me to niftii places will live wif me and we can be "roomies".
g2g.. -x0x
º × º × º x º × ·
- you - are the only one that leaves
me > ` c o m p l e t e l y ` < breathless..
· º × º × º x º × ·

1 dr0p everything | start it all 0ver...

:: 2004 4 June :: 9.38 pm

i love mia.. to the stars and back
hey kayla this is mia..umm i just wanna say that im really sorry bout this hole thingy i meean i know that u were just trying 2 tell me that im being stupid n im sorry 4 saying that u didnt care when i kn ow u did ur els u wouldnt hav stopd me..n thatz how i know that ur my best friend n we hav been 4 3 yearz n 5 mounthz..i think around ther..but n e wayz i dont want all of that 2 change over a lil thingy like this...n i justr wanna say thank u so0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 much b cuz i could hav just mad e a mistake that could hav changed my life in the worst way ever n im so happy that u told me not 2 n i dont even know what i wwaz thinkin if i didnt think u cared n if u dont think that i care 4 u n e more that ur nuttz b cuz i care 4 u more that the world.. n u should know that by now..n if u didnt well now u do i luv u kayla ur my best friend ever ur more importent 2 me than the air i breath..i dont know what i would do w/ out u n 4 i second i thought that u didnt care n i think that once im done writeing this im gonna go n slap that shit out of my self 4 thinkin that...well i g2g cuz itz like 3:09 n i g2 get ^ at 9:00 so yeah but i wont b able 2 sleep evry well w/ a big red mark on my really g2g now ttyl..~xox0xox0xox0xox0xox0xox0xox0xox0xox0xox0xox0xox0xox0xox0xox0xox0xox0xox0xox0x~
i love you bubyezz

2 dr0p everything | start it all 0ver...

:: 2004 4 June :: 1.35 am

for a reason
i hate skanks.. friends are supposed to care.. i care. i did care. not ne more. she doesnt care. her life.her desicions. her stupidity. she will. she does. he say he cares. he doesnt care. why would he care? its only her. he leaves her. she cries. her best friends there. for a reason

1 dr0p everything | start it all 0ver...

:: 2004 1 June :: 12.04 pm
:: Mood: b0red..
:: Music: adams song

i never thought id die alone. i laughed the loudest whod have known? i traced the cord back to the wall. no wonder it was never plugged in at all. i took my time, i hurried up. the choice was mine, i didnt think enough. im t0o depressed to go on. you'll be sorry when im gone. i never conquered, rarely came. 16 just held suh better days. days when i still felt alive. we couldnt wait to get outside. the world was wide, too late to try. the tour was over we'd survived...

summers been 0ok.. nuttin much.. mias been at jessicas and um.. we went to winn dixie yesterday dressed like wiggers.. me and jessica were "hollerin" out the window to these girls that passed by and this one sk8 boarding kidd matt.. he was makin fun of us.. meanie. um. sunday i think it was.. bailey and me met chris and mike at the sk8 park and we were gonna go ice skating but we didnt have money$$ so we threw rocks at eachother instead. um.. kayla goldman came over on friday and spent the night.. we were crackin on catherines boots.. combat. lol kayla.. um.. today hillary ad lacey are coming over and were gonna go to the movies.. again for the 2nd time this week, i went with bailey last time and we saw shrek 2 again lol. today we're gonna see raising helen.. with my favorite actress.. kate hudson i think hillary looks like kate.. a lot. in the eyes.. and ive been puttin a lot of periods latley.. <<< see?!?
lol.. well.. lacey just tryed callin me but since my celli sux she couldnt hear so ima go call her back!!
-x0x [[since calli took my -x0]] lol love ya girlie!!
wuvv yall!!

1 dr0p everything | start it all 0ver...

:: 2004 24 May :: 5.18 pm
:: Music: out of control hoobastank

calli burnt me the ho0bastank. thanks sweetii t0daii was really fun... it was a g0od day. l0l. x cept catheryn was talkin m0re shit.. grrr. my br0 and his gf mite get back t0gether. yay. my sister wh0 takes me t0 nifty places. l0l
nerd herd-- tater t0t
wat happened to us> we used to be perfect...

4 dr0p everything | start it all 0ver...

:: 2004 23 May :: 12.47 pm

Beach dayz ; flip fl0pz - bAthin SuiTz
tAnk TopZ - BlAzIn BoiZ * NicE TaN :: h0t DayZ :
WaRm SAnd ~ VaCa Time ; LiL Fightz *
Drinkin bEeRz -->ParTyin @ NiGht -
SuN s0 Bright - m0on aLl hAzy
_Hell Yea Babii _
sUmmer `04 iZ g0nna bE KrAzii
/xXx/ReMeMbEr WheN..
ReMeMbEr WhEn BoYz HaD ¤.cOoTiEs.¤
WhEn FrIeNdS aLwAyS «-lIsTeNeD-» 2 u..
wHeN ((dReAmS)) wErE uNsHaTtErEd
& [[wOrRiEs]] WeRe ::fEw::
WhEn ReCeSs WaS tOo |sHoRt|
aNd LiFe WaS *2* «---LoNg---»
wHeN DeCiSiOnS cAmE .:eAsIlY:.
wItH ((nO NeEd)) 2 ¤..bElOnG..¤
wHeN :.:StOrKs:.: DeLiVeReD bAbIeS
aNd *PaSsIoNs* WeReN't sOo o¤sTrOnG¤o
wHeN [[fRiEnDsHiPs]] WeReNt bRo|KeN..
RiGhT wAs .RiGhT. & wRoNg wAs :WrOnG:
WhEn (((BaD))) tHiNgS dIdN't HaPpEn
OnLy _sKiNnEd KnEeS_ bRoUgHt ::TeArs::
aNd tHe «_NiGhT . LiGhT_» iN OuR rOoM
((.QuIeTeD.)) aLl oUr FeArs
wHeN :.dEcIsi0ns.: wErE s0|VeD
bY [eNi mEaNi . mini m0]
wHeN «.»b0yS«.» wErE sOoO !yUcKy!
& *gOoDbYe* MeAnT OnLy tIl ::ToMoRrOw::
WhEn Ur ClOtHeS DiDnT »..mAtCh..«
& *r E a L* fRiEnDs DiDn'T p|A|r|T
tHe ((..FuN..) wEnT oN *4eVeR* aNd
NeVeR LeFt a _BrOkEn ... HeArt_

start it all 0ver...

:: 2004 20 May :: 6.10 pm

i hate everything about y0u, why d0 i love you
hey hey..
im at the library with bailey and meghan.. g0d i l0ve her.. l0l. baileys 0n the c0mputer right beside me d0in some kinda rep0rt.
ne wayz.. t0daii was a blast. 0ur team went 0n a b0wling trip thingy. kayla, rachel, chris, lacey and me were 0n 0ne team.. and i w0n the first game and chris w0n the sec0nd. we came back, g0t free lunch and then watched m0vies and signed yearb0oks.. [[and no calli, me an chris didnt d0 anything.. and y0u can g0 hed and read his yearb0ok and what i wr0te in it.. ill sh0w y0u what he wr0te me t0o.. i have n0thing t0 hide.
i g0t b0ut a million signatures.
6 dayz 0f sch0ol!!!!
hey kayla we 0n f0r t0m0r0? call me and tell me whatz up iight?
ne wayz..
i cant wait til eight grade,, dam itll be fun. im unpluggin mah cell if i d0nt wanna talk t0 that pers0n.. i need mah al0ne time s0 d0nt think i just hate y0u. l0l.
devin ian and j0e are s0o0o funni.. devin had his hair like elvis t0day, ian had his part in the middle and j0e had his part t0 the side.. talk ab0ut an abercr0mbie m0del "w0ot w0ot" l0l. 0key d0key well.. "thats all i g0t t0 say ab0ut that" -- f0rest gump

2 dr0p everything | start it all 0ver...

:: 2004 13 May :: 9.28 pm
:: Music: aaliyah-- miss y0u

sick 0f ppl writing shyt n n0t leaving therrr name.. wtf?? i guess their t0 scared im g0nna kick thier ass.. thatz c0ol w/e
im listening t0 aaliyah.. shes dead. w0w.
what if i died t0m0r0? w0uld y0u regret ne thing? w0uld y0u remember me f0rever? w0uld y0u break d0wn? c0me t0 mah funeral? talk ab0ut me? feel me beside y0u?use mah name in vein? beleive in heaven?talk t0 me al0ne in y0ur r0om? l0ok at things and find that everything has s0mething t0 d0 with me? feel guilty ab0ut ne thing y0uve ever sed? think and tear ab0ut the g0od times we always had? w0uld y0u feel mah presence just n0t in the physical? w0uld y0u miss me? would i live in y0ur meme0ries f0rever? w0uld you remember my death? 0r celebrate my life?
im y0ur angel

2 dr0p everything | start it all 0ver...

:: 2004 9 May :: 7.06 pm

have y0u ever been 20 feet away fr0m blink 182?? i have haha.
friday:: bailey and i went to the m0vies where we met up wit rach, kris, and kayla. bailey and i walked h0me. and went to sleep.

saturdaii:: w0ke up @ 6.3o.. went t0 walmart at like 7.oo. g0t a camera.. ya kn0w. went t0 baileys t0 get her stuff [[and her m0m]] l0l. we were 0n 0ur way. uh.. we g0t t0 0rland0 and went directly t0 sea w0rld. i g0t t0 pet d0lphins, and sting rayz.. i had t0 practically sh0ve baileys hand d0wn to0 t0uch the sting rays lol. we uh went t0 the h0tel and then went sh0pping.. at abercr0mbie and f0rever 21. [[0h ya, we saw shamu and samoo.. l0l. we went t0 the c0ncert,, fun fun fun... the 0pening bands were taking back sunday and cypress hill. then it was blink 182.. omg.. it was s0 fun.. i g0t a t0ur shirt and a hat,, w0w!!! l0l. we went t0 f0sters at like 1.oo in the m0rning.. lma0.. um,, we w0ke up and went sh0pping,, then came back h0me.. and whatdya kn0w.. chris is madd at me?!?! l0l.. [[whatz new]]
0oh ya..
happy m0thers day

3 dr0p everything | start it all 0ver...

:: 2004 6 May :: 6.58 pm

i think every0ne will be crying. as 0f thursday nights 8.oo 0n nbc. i have n0 life. my agenda f0r that night will be s0mething like will and grace. n0thing that adds up t0 j0eys funniness. ross smart ass facts, chandlers stupidity, rachels sluttiness, monicas cuteness, and phoebe's horrible songs [[smelly cat smelly cat, what are they feeding y0u??]] l0l. i highly d0ubt the replacment will adD up.
farewell t0 friends...

start it all 0ver...

:: 2004 28 April :: 11.00 pm

What if i am the way i am forever and there is nothing i can do about it?
reasons, everyone alwayz wants reasons why i am the way i am. honestly, i would like to know myself. so i write about hwta hurts, what feels good, what makes me cry and what makes me feel. i wanty to know why:
i cry
im screaming silently inside
im happy for a moment and then i lose it.
im free but i hold back.
i hat emyself when i look in the mirror.
i drown in self pity.
i am ashamed.
i hide from everything.
i feel more then i can take.
and i just really want to know why i am unable to be whole. was i born with a failure inside of me that doesnt allow me to change? i spend my days scared. what if i never change? what if there are no reasons at all? what if im the way i am forever and there is nothing i can do about it. so i look for an answer to make the confusion go away. every day i wake searching with only the hope that someday something will be found that will make this endless longing go away.

have you ever wanted something so badd you couldnt breathe??

i cant breathe

7 dr0p everything | start it all 0ver...

:: 2004 25 April :: 8.49 pm
:: Music: roses-- outkast

ive been sayin that a lot latley.
this weekend was 0ok.. i had a softball game firday night, and we won. and then catherine, bailey, and lacey spent the night. we did eachothers hair and nails.. it was funN. we talked about just about everything. i really missed mia and kayla goldman this weekend.. ne wayz. saturday catherine , lacey, my mama and i went to "the tanning place". i g0t a playb0ii bunnii sticker and itz s0o cute!! l0l. [[sexy-- catherine]] then bailey and kristi came and picked me up and we went to malikes party. it was s0 fun.. well until the piont when catherine started bo0tii dancing [[or at least thatz what i think it was]] l0l. uh.. i spent the night at baileys with kristi, and in the morning i was the last one up and kristi hadD already went h0me. s0 i called mah momma and she came and g0t me.. when i g0t h0me my aunt came and s0 did mia [[finally]] we babysat mah cuzin while mah parents and mah aunt went to the beach. me and calli made up and we're c0ol n0w.. read ur journal if you d0nt beleive she l0ves me...
itz the bigG font at the t0p. lma0. and then chris t0ok mah writing.. where i use the 00's for mah oo's.. he sed itz his n0w.. "calli tell him t0 st0pP!!!" l0l.
ne wayz im g0nna g0 make a belt f0r kayla valente.. l0l j/p
- x0x0x

2 dr0p everything | start it all 0ver...

:: 2004 18 April :: 9.15 pm

omg today was s0 fun... i went over to chris's jack's [[typo]][[lol]] house and hung out.. it was s0 fun. we went 0ver t0 kaitlyn blanchetts h0use but she wasnt home s0 we walked home n played vide0 games. i g0t t0 c his cl0set. lol. n sally sed the camel had 4 humps [[lol chris jack!!]].. we played the guitar and watched nightmare bef0re christmas. "my fav0rite character is the fourth step and the little fish thing thatz in the m0vie f0r .5 seconds.
um n therrs a l0t 0f inside j0kes but u will never find 0ut ab0ut them b/c then they wouldnt be inside jokes. they w0uld be 0utside j0kes.. ugh. lol
alrighty ima go
<<3 LaLa [[sally]], w/e

start it all 0ver...

:: 2004 18 April :: 2.39 pm
:: Music: reach-- twisted method

yesterday i went wakeboarding w/ bailey and her family and some of their friends. i cant wait til mia gets home.. im bored. i think im goin to the xfest!! yay.. mah dad just got me the twisted method cd. itz pretty good. their from cape coma s0 thatz pretty c00l. um. kayla got me "im moving in 2 months". grrr..
my bro got into cape. lol. his 3rd choice so he's just goin on the waiting list for mariner. lol. i hope he gets in. I DONT WANNA GO TO CAPE. lol. is there still gonna be school choice next year tho?
im burned. it hurts.
minutes have gone by and i still sit and wait for mia.. lalala
wow. i really cant imaginelife w/out her. hmm
im goin to target to get a cd.. cant decide what to get tho.. hoobastank?? iunno.
i like the song the reason but kristi claims thatz her song s0 i dont want to take it [[cough cough]]
who made up the word cough? thatz funni ..
well i guess ill wait for mia alone.. wouldnt want you to be put thru the misery.. well, most of you ne way. lol

start it all 0ver...

:: 2004 14 April :: 7.57 pm

f__ckin drama queen..
itz the following traits that make a best friend.. lying, stealing, hitting.. good friends always do that right?? its all about popularity, boys, and friends... right?
yea.. ok. for the person who this is about.. you know.
and th world does NOT revolve around you

2 dr0p everything | start it all 0ver... | Random Journal