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Bohemain Rhapsody

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goodbye

:: 2016 9 December :: 8.55am

One lump or two?


goodbye

:: 2016 8 December :: 6.20pm

It takes people time to learn what's right and wrong, to learn how to be a better person. For some, it takes longer than it does for others. That's what life is. It's a journey. It's you, being put in tons of different types of situations so you can grow and improve and change.

I'm resolving to accept this process. For most of my life I've heald a grudge. A grudge against this person or that person. A grudge against those who I perceived to have slighted me. A grudge against my past, my future, the whole world - the world that wronged me. I am ready to shake that grudge off. I am ready to let go of that deamon, hate, that has been eating me alive for all this time. I don't want to be angry anymore. I want to be happy. I don't want to harbor so much resentment, mostly for people who don't even think of me. I want to embrace the love I feel every day from those who show it. I want to hold onto the good in the world. I may not be the smartest person or the most beautiful person or the richest person or the best mannered person, but I am a great person. I am a good person. And I definitely have the best family in all the world. I have the best support system I could ever have - with a family willing to help me in any way possible every day and wonderful friends that warm me with their company and smiles and hugs everytime I see them. That is love. I know the truth in that love. I feel excited for the prospect of improving. I feel ready to accept this new, interesting challenge and greet it with a heart full of love. I welcome all the joy and laughter, singing and dancing, friendliness and opportunities this new outlook on life will have.

Quickly as a child I learned to be humble and gracious when accepting my achievements. It has taken me a very long time to feel as though I've accomplished anything. But I have. I have a great living space that I can afford by means of a very cool job at a world-impacting company. I have all the world resting at my feet and I cannot wait to see where it will take me :) i treasure this realization very deeply and hope it carries me to a realm of personal understanding and acceptance.

One lump or two?


goodbye

:: 2016 30 November :: 9.29pm

I'm an adult. And I can blow $1500 on a lappy if I want to.

Fuck yo' couch.

One lump or two?


goodbye

:: 2016 26 November :: 1.33pm

How are you supposed to meet new friends and enjoy new things when all you like to do is sit at home and binge watch Netflix and play old school video games?

One lump or two?


goodbye

:: 2016 21 November :: 7.07pm

God I love my friends. So so much. Kayla and Anna. Julez and Bill and Nathan. Jessica. Lizzie. Celeste. I just feel so blessed to have people in my life who love me and care about how I'm doing and ask me if I'm alright. This week of all weeks I can say how thankful I am for them.

1 sugar | One lump or two?


goodbye

:: 2016 18 November :: 7.22pm

Looking at graduate programs. Everything is so fucking expensive. And difficult to figure out.

I hate being an adult.

One lump or two?


goodbye

:: 2016 15 November :: 1.06am

So I've watched 2 episodes of Black Mirror. It seems to be from a nhialist point of view. Sick as fuck, but it doesn't really matter. Very interesting concept.

It's bringing up alot of negative emotions I had this summer. As did the end of the last series I watched. I don't really understand the point of my existence. Each day is not a new adventure, it's just going through the same motions. I'm stuck in an invisible cage. My human consciousness has made me aware that nothing matters and I'm living to die.

One lump or two?


goodbye

:: 2016 10 November :: 11.44am

I am so truly disheartened...
Sexism wins again. Faithless electors ruined this country 16 years ago and they've done it again. A mysoginist, bigoted idiot will always beat out the most qualified candidate if the latter is a female. Fuck Donald J. Trump. Fuck all of you who voted for him. Fuck an American society bread from fear and hate of the other and the "weak." Fuck a two-party system. Fuck 2016 and another 4 years (and likely 8) of this insanity. With party majority, all minority rights will be stripped, all social services will be taken away, a supreme court member will be chosen who will continue to rape the progress of this country, and myself, and all the women and girls, and non-white people, and non-Christians, and LGBTQ+, and liberals/socialists, and disabled, and everyone who is not rich will be royally marginalized even more-so than we were a week ago by a man who should never have ever been able to win. Revolution won't be possible with everyone's faces in their goddamn phones and on social media and at any rate, any sort of "civil" war would be lost because the right has all the guns.

If all hope wasn't lost already, it is now.

I'd like to say I'm stunned. I'd like to say I'm in shock and am experiencing disbelief... but I actually thought this was entirely possible. Did I expect it? Not really... part of me, I guess. Honestly, the people in power will never relinquish it and fear is all that will govern this country until it implodes - something far more likely to happen with this giant douche in control of the nuclear codes.

One lump or two?


goodbye

:: 2016 6 November :: 7.16am

At this stage, I don't even want to be informed anymore. I'm so tired of the hate and extremism and killing and terrorists and evangelicals and materialism and lying and assholes that I just never want to read or watch any "news" - or rather, people being dicks - ever again.

One lump or two?


goodbye

:: 2016 5 November :: 6.03pm

My life is pretty fucking great. What am I always complaining about?

One lump or two?


goodbye

:: 2016 4 November :: 10.00am

I always change my mind.

One lump or two?


goodbye

:: 2016 30 October :: 1.53pm

Couples costumes make me want to hurl.

1 sugar | One lump or two?


goodbye

:: 2016 27 October :: 4.28pm
:: Music: Last Days of April: Life Companion Murphy's Law

Adults never tell kids that the best time of their lives will be childhood.
I feel deceived.

One lump or two?


goodbye

:: 2016 23 October :: 3.59am

OMG he is SO HOT /dead.

One lump or two?


goodbye

:: 2016 21 October :: 7.58pm

All day I was making myself physically ill with worry. Just what I did the last time I delivered this news only much worse this time.

One lump or two?

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