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Be careful wat you wish for

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:: 2003 10 October :: 8.04am

things r looking up for me *knocks on wood*
Jill called me eraly this morning and made my whole day :o) thank you jilly i love your guts!


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:: 2003 8 October :: 11.42pm

i either jus completly ruinened everything.
or completly made everything okay.
i was gonna just break up with kevin.
i was jus gonna freakin do it.
i has everything i was gonna say i even had emily on the phone pumping me up ..and i just froze and shes jus like omg u baby hes dumped u what 3 times and all this stuff that should have made me DO IT and jus like hate him forever ni couldnt, and it got me thinkin does that make me a huge wuss? or just does that mean i really love him?? i have no idea but what i do know if i need to study for history. and spanish. o god. and im so confused god damn..i love him and i hate him and god dang i sound stupid. But then t heres Joe. n there Tyler. and theres the fact that i jus made it so i can't break up with him for a raelly long time without going down in history as the worlds lowest selfish bitch. i couldnt jus done it completly guilt free. But he has to know everything bout me. And we had to have that whole thing saying im not going to..

ahhhh fuck.

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:: 2003 7 October :: 10.50pm

So today was okay. Confusing, but okay. Kevins not who i thought he was. Neither is Jill, or Emily. Courtney isn't either. I seem to have too high of hopes cuz everyone is letting me down.

I jus <3 Tyler..hes so much funn. He can always make me laugh..i love that.

thas all i got to say

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