~*I would rather be forgotten, than remembered for giving in*~


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~Life of a Loser~

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:: 2007 5 December :: 7.57 am
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Simple Plan - Untitled


"I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me"

simple plan - "untitled"

i've been having weird thoughts about my parents divorce recently.
i dunno.

so lets see, where are we at.

I got my first viva next week, so i need to get working on my slide show. 20minutes... gonna be interesting *gulp*

this weekend i am going to Cardiff, and a house party on Saturday i think. Rachel is coming up from Gosport too, so should be good. Actually i lie. The last house party they had was shit. Sitting around playing drinking games.. at a party? yeah whatever... partying it up there.... or not.

I dont get drinking games. Most of them, the point is to avoid drinking... yeah ok, but i paid quite a bit for this alcoholic drink, in the thought i would use it to get drunk, so why would i either:
a) want to play a game where i do my best to avoid drinking it
b) play a game where i have to waste my drink by adding it to a dirty pint or fishbowl throughout the game process.

Seems stupid to me. And drinking games shouldnt be played at a party. Maybe beforehand, or in the aftermath, but not during. A party should have a lot of people jumping about, having fun, with loud music, and drinking when they want, not when a game tells them to.

Tottenham lost the red card appeal, well as far as i am aware so Robbie Keane is out for 3 matches. so that sucks. good news is Ledley King played for the reserves the other day, and having him back in the first team can only be a good thing.

Christmas shopping. I need to soon-ish as everyone will be leaving Wales soon and obviously they need their present before they go. Ah well. I'm gonna be super busy for the next week.

what dirty thought(s) do you want to leave?

:: 2007 4 December :: 5.11 am
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: sublime - date rape

won $21 in an online poker tournament.

this week i got lots of work to do. have to prepare for a 20minute presentation in front of all my lecturers, and need to get started on some assignments.

yesterday we went xmas shopping, at an outlet centre and it rained and was very windy. i got like 2 presents, thats all, and a t-shirt for myself.

i did get to see laura though. highlight of my weekend i guess. oh and Spurs lost, but they were given a red card, which NOONE thinks should have happened. but thats footy. i think they are appealing against it. good. we better win. Robbie Keane is single handedly keeping Spurs out of the bottom three... and Gareth Bale is injured, again. yeah... nice.

1 dirty minded people said | what dirty thought(s) do you want to leave?

:: 2007 1 December :: 11.59 am
:: Mood: sleepy

The reason i didnt post yesterday is because i was up until 1am ish playing poker in our dining room. It was fun, i started off quite badly, not gettng much luck from the cards, but all of a sudden, after a few "all ins" and doubling up my stack, i knocked out Will, closely followed by Craig and then Chris, and it was me and Adam left. The good news was that i was guaranteed to finish at least second which meant i wouldn't be buying anyone a drink, the bad news was it was almost 1am, and i was getting quite bored and losing concentration. Afer a couple of hands of me losing some, adam losing some, we decided to play a "winner takes all" blind hand. Adam won, but its all good, i got second and my prize was not to have to buy the winner a drink, whereas Will, Crag and Chris all owe him one now. I would like to play again, no sure if we playing tonight or not now, we will see.

Other than that, i didnt do much yesterday, had a 10am lecture where an assignment was handed out, but otherwise i dont think anything too exciting happened... not to my memory anyway. Today im just gonna be chilling out, watching the footy probably. Right now i am writing this in bed, so i will get up, and have a shower.

1 dirty minded people said | what dirty thought(s) do you want to leave?

:: 2007 30 November :: 5.00 am
:: Mood: calm

Juande Ramos. Genius?
So today i went to Tescos at 6am, and got to the checkout only to realise i forgot my wallet. Great start there. So i asked the checkout lady if she could keep it to one side for me while i ran home for my wallet, which she did, no problems. 15 minutes of jogging/walking later i was back in Tescos paying for my stuff.

Then i came home, had breakfast and decided to watch Lee Evans, which i feel asleep during. I dozed on and off until later on, and got up. Hung around in my room for a bit and then heard voices in Chris' room so went to see what the fuss was, nothing exciting, just talking about facial hair - Chris shaved his into some random styles. Then i remembered Spurs were on TV

The match, well the first half, was Shit. From a Spurs point of view. 0-2 down at half time. Not looking good. Players booed off again. Second half, well, 5 minutes into it and it was 2-2. Now the game was on. Much better much, actually quite exciting 2nd half, and Spurs took it to win 3-2. Excellent stuff. Dunno what Juande said at half time, but it fucking worked. Now lets play like that in the league please.

After the footy we went to Mozarts, which was good. Vodka and coke for 2 pounds. excellent. Will and i decided to get a kebab on the way home, and it was good. best kebab i've had in a while. We followed this with a game on Pro Evo (which we lost) and an episode of South Park. If you haven't seen the tourettes episode, you have to. Go and watch it now. Go.

Then, at about 1:30am, we decided to call it a night. 3 and half hours later, after watching Scrubs, The O.C. and some other random programmes, while playing Poker, i am here typing this and watching the rest of the Lee Evans DVD i missed last night.

Tomorrow is Friday. Start of the weekend. Nothing planned tomorrow, though i am organising a game of poker in our dining room on staurday, 2 quid entry, so let me know if you are interested for future games, though im sure no one here would be interested... i dont think anyone lives close enough to make it worth it really.

2 dirty minded people said | what dirty thought(s) do you want to leave?

:: 2007 30 November :: 4.25 am

survey stolen from lau
1. Do you smoke weed regulary?
nope, never even tried it

2. Have you kissed somebody in the last 2 weeks?
yes, chickpea herself

3. Who was the last persons house you went to?
er.. other than my uni one, laura's i think

4. Miss someone?
my brother, my little cousins (not so little any more), laura and my BrotherHood hos.

5. How's your ex doing?
i dunno, dont talk to or see any of them any more. probbaly still bitches and fat.

6. Is there someone you want to fight?
yeah some people, but they arent worth my time and effort. especially as i know they dont stand a chance

7. Do you like someone right now?
yes. she has nice boobies.

8. Song playin?
none - tv is on, but its crap so i might put some music on, dont know what though, some kind of rock, maximo park - girls play guitars... maybe

9. What are you doing tomorrow?
lecture, and then hanging out with my homies, playing video games

11. What's annoying you right now?
poker - im having a bad run at the moment

12. Do you want to go back to school?
been there done that, no thanks

13. Have you ever watched a movie drunk?
yeah im sure i have

14. What are you doing tonight?
its 4:30am, so if u mean tonight as in now, then im playing poker and watching tv, and filling this in... if u mean tonight as in 14 hours or so, i have no fricking idea

15. Who did you ride in a car with last besides your family?
erm.. adam and chris i think, on the way to morrisons or tescos

17. What socks do you have on?
knee high red and black ones

18. What color is the shirt you are wearing?
white with a red design on

19. What will you do Sunday?
seeing lau, think we are going xmas shopping

20. Last person to call you?
erm.. my mum, i think...

21. Do you have any interesting bruises or scars?
scar on my fiinger from sticking my hand into a half open tn of strawberries while my mum wasnt looking when i was younger - ripped half of the top part of my finger off

scar on my cheek where i was in hospital and slipped over, smashed my face on the floor and cut it open

22. What were you doing at noon today?
erm.. dozing i think

23. How long does it take you to get ready to go out?
depends, if i have to be ready in 5 minutes, i can be, otherwise i like to have a shower and stuff, so maybe 20 or 30 minutes

24. Have you been outside of the U.S.?
can we change that to "of your home country" - in which case, yes i have, lots

25. The last text you received on your cell was from?
erm.. from rich, saying something like "we are on our way home now" - laura doesnt txt me anymore :(

26. Last show you watched?
erm, the war at home, its crap, couldnt be arsed to find the remote

27. Who do you miss?
didnt i already answer this.. question 4 right?

28. Do you wish at 11:11?
no, never heard of that one. weirdo.

29. Do you wear any jewelry?
watch, if that counts, then some woodern bracelets, a wrist band and my necklace with a pendant my mum got me in italy... i think... i have other stuff, but i left them at home :(

30. Last person you hugged?
rich.. or laura i think

31.The last time and place you went to?
Mozarts, about 10pm last night, good stuff.

32. Who/What made you angry today?
nothing really, i got frustrated with Spurs in the first half cuz they played like a lump of drunk shit... blindfolded, and tied up... in the changing rooms... but they picked it up in the second half and went on to win, so it was rectified.

33. Do you sing in the shower?

34. Has anyone ever sang or played music for you personally?
nope, why would they?

36. When did you first start noticing the opposite sex?
i dunno... lol.. a long time ago...

37. First thing you notice in the opposite sex, upon first meeting them?
eyes, smile, boobs, and bum... the usual.

38. Where is your sister right now?
i dont have a sister. this should be changed to "siblings". this survey is very discriminative to anyone who lives outside the US without a sister.

my brother on the other hanf, SHOULD be in bed at home

39. Last place you kissed someone?
yeah, geographically or bodily? it would have been Cardiff Central train station, on the lips.

40. Name five things you did today?
went to tescos
watched lee evans - might finish that off now
watched the spurs footy match
played poker

41. Last person you text messaged?
rich, asking him where the fuck he was

43. What are you listening to?
the poker sounds in the background and lee evans dvd

44. Eye Color?
green - but they change slightly depending on my mood. my eyes fucking rock, so dont go ripping on them.

45. Has anyone told you they're in love with you?
yes. a few people

46. What color are your bedroom walls?
at uni - cream "nobbly" wallpaper
at mums - cream and black
at dads - nasty pale green - never been redecorated since we moved in

47. Do you have a chair in your room?
yes, at uni, for my desk

48. What should you be doing right now?
sleeping. lol.

49. Do you get along with your parents?
yes, very well

55. How many credit cards do you have?
none, i have 1 debit card.

56. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher?
considered it, my mum wants me to... dont think its for me though, i did work as a classroom assitant for work experience for 2 weeks

57. What is one thing you've learned about life?
friends are the most important people, the best ones will be there for you no matter what - especially when you are too afraid to go to your family

60. Ever been stuck in an elevator?
no. that would worry me

61. What do your cousins call you?
Tony, but one of them refers to me and Cal as "my boys"... well, dont know if she still does, but she used to

62. What does you hair look like right now?
emo. :(

64. Has anyone told you they like you more than a friend?
yes. and it sucked.

65. What did you last eat?
tesco's bbq tortilla chps

66. Jordans or Dunks?
erm.. i have no fucking idea. see. discriminative

68. What are you looking forward to?
christmas, ice skating, seeing laura... boobies.

69. What's your biggest pet peeve?
liars. cheaters. fakes.

70. Do you have any tattoos?
no, hopefully getting one around xmas time though

71. Any piercings?
my lip

72. What do you want to be when you grow up?
i dunno, lol "grow up" im 21..... lol i have no idea what i wanna do when i "grow up"

73. Obsessions?
boobies. espcially my girlfriends.

74. Have you ever thought about getting your lip pierced?
i have it done so nah *pokes tongue out*

75. Have you ever been arrested?
no, been close a couple of times though

76. What are you afraid of?
losing those closest to me. being stuck in a lift for a long time. spiders

4 dirty minded people said | what dirty thought(s) do you want to leave?

:: 2007 28 November :: 8.57 pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: none - watching sky sports news for the footy scores

2nd post
Well today was a good day. I had a good sleep last night, then got woken up at about 12:45 by my house mate because we promised to go see a guy from our course and give an opinion on what he wants to do for his major project, so us and a bunch of others did that and i think it helped him quite a lot - he seemed please anyway.

Then i went to pool club for the first time. It is run by my house mate and another guy off our course, and they kept bugging me to go, but i was always too lazy =P but today i decided "eh, why not" so i did, and i had a good time. Although i only won one set of matches cuz i played awful, but it was a good laugh.

This evening i haven't done much, played Playstation with rich, and ate dinner. it was good. Rich is a lot better at Pro Evo 2008 than i thought he would be, although i beat him once earlier, he also beat me. He also has a pretty good knowledge of football for someone who doesnt follow it... suspicious much?

So yeah i had a good day, and now enjoying the football updates for this evening's matches, and a lot of the games seem to be quite exciting, so its all good.

Oh, and i think i decided that i am gonne get the tattoo down kind of "around" the front half of my arm (see previous post) the bottom left corner starting on the inside, then heading diagonally round to the top right corner, so that corner is on the outside of my arm... i think. i dunno, i will discuss it with the tattooist when i go... so yeah.

Before i go, i just want to say "thanks" and "hello back :)" to jessa lynne for leaving me a comment. and to loonygoth - i'll tell u everything u want to know, just ask

2 dirty minded people said | what dirty thought(s) do you want to leave?

:: 2007 27 November :: 6.43 pm
:: Mood: angry
:: Music: Mute Math - Typical

First Post
Well i guess seeing how Lau sent me an invitational link to start my own blog, i supposed i had better make good use of it and see where it goes.

Ok first off, i was having a good day. I had a meeting with my lecturer - head of course lecturer - who went through what the examiners look for in a major project, so know i feel a whole lot better about the whole thing and i might actually come out of this with a degree. woot.

However, this means i cant go ice skating tonight as i have to start doing research, and i have a shit load to do, so yeah, missing out on that, but i am going with Laura and Rachel (and some of Laura's friends) on the 8th of December when Rach comes to stay, so should be good

Then i came home, and after about an hour or so i find out that the electricity company we had in our house last year has sent a debt collection notice to one of my house mates' parents house back in Cornwall because apparently we havent paid a £350 bill or something. So we spent most the evening talking about that and trying to contact the electricity company. Sucks. Now we have to go to the shitting letting agency tomorrow and find out what is going on exactly and why we didnt know about it as much as we should have and why they are giving out our home addresses to companies without telling us.

So i am rather angry right now.

Anyway, there is footy on tonight so that will cheer me up hopefully.

In other news, the design for my first tattoo is complete and i am hoping to get it when i go back home for christmas, and hopefully am getting it done with Rachel... should be fun!

Tattoo Design - each coloured star represents one of my closest friends, ignore the red outline with no fill, its not meant to be there. I am getting it on my left upper arm, but havent decided on the outside or inside yet...

As a final note, i would much appreciate if you could all sign my petition to try and get the FA to at least consider giving the vacant England football (soccer) managerial/coach position(s) to Ian Wright and/or Alan Shearer. Who else would be more suited for the job? Ok so they have a lack of experience, but everyone has to start somewhere and they can't be worse than Steve McClaren can they? Plus what they don't have in experience they more than make up for with passion, and that is what us English people want to see the most, a passionate manager.

Link: Petition for the new England Football Manager
If you do sign, thanks very much

2 dirty minded people said | what dirty thought(s) do you want to leave?

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