you think about yourself too much and you ruin who you love


friends | profile | guestbook

if you'd tell me to go to hell at least you'd sound sincere

recent entries | past entries

:: 2017 14 January :: 12.35 am

I'm so tired of bad days I'm just ready for some good ones.


:: 2017 13 January :: 12.26 am
:: Music: Conor oberst

It broke his heart and it made him old
I got a puppy. His name is buddy because I keep calling him little buddy anyway. I also call my boss little buddy, any friend I've ever had in the last ten years, coworkers, etc so not as generic as it seems. Anyway, he is an Australian shepherd. He was born October 19th 2016. He was saved by an Omaha rescue from a breeder in Missouri because the breeder was irresponsible and bred two Merle aussies, which has a high chance to make deaf and or blind white puppies. So buddy is blind in one eye and we aren't sure how good his hearing is, but I taught him to sit and he does it every time. He has pretty sky blue eyes, he's mostly white, but it looks like someone dropped tan paint over him. His nose is pink with a tan spot too. He's actually not the dog I went to the rescues distort home to get. I went for the all deaf one, but this one picked me I think. It wasn't about being deaf or not deaf, and I feel bad for not saving the deaf sweet boy. She said a lot of people signed up to see him though. Poor little thing. He was just too wild and crazy did. This one is really calm (for now) and sweet and is more lap dog. He's the middle upper for size in the litter and they said his temperament is in the middle. He just wants to come sit on your lap when you're around. I feel bad having to leave him while I work tomorrow but I'm going to come see him on lunch for a few months. Anyway.

These shootings are getting insane the world has lost its mind. Now it happened in Omaha. In my work parking lot. I feel like I say this a lot, but why did I have to be born into this generation?

I wanted a puppy to say I did something with myself. I didn't set out to be a hero and save a special needs boy, but I guess that's half way what happened. I dropped about 300 bucks on a crate, bed and some (a lot) of doggy toys of all different sounds, textures, and sizes.

I don't think Egypt was real, idk I just can't wrap my head around it. There is just no way the same humans we are now made any of that.

1 came free | brainwash

:: 2017 1 January :: 12.37 am

got my sweet sweet cat and a glass of sparkling wine.

here's hoping 2017 isn't a total shit storm.

1 came free | brainwash

:: 2016 24 December :: 1.10 am
:: Mood: cynical
:: Music: she and him - christmas party (album)

i just feel like christmas has lost it's luster.

it feels like a check list.

in 2016, with the state of the world, the country, etc.

something has to change, we are all on this hamster wheel and just totally miserable with the daily weekly and now yearly grind. soon to be decades.

i feel like i could be on the verge of greatness at times, but who knows maybe i'm just another ego. - on that note, i always think like "oh this exgirlfriend is talking to me again" or whatever, and assume like i'm some special ex boyfriend to them - not in a romantic way, just in a maybe i change their life in some memorable way more than the person before or after me, so maybe those years or months spent with me weren't a total waste of time.

totally just a waste of time. fully.

i am genuinely afraid of the direction everything is headed and i hope more people open their eyeballs soon enough. money cannot keep controlling the entire world. we know it always has in the past, but not like this, not this bad, the middle ground of the american dream was at least achievable and you could at least lie to yourself get by with that, but it's just so obvious. our freedoms are being stripped as i write this and people are literally choosing to remain oblivious or say things like "oh well i don't do XYZ so who cares! it's doesn't matter to me personally! so lets just fuck over everyone else because i'm a self centered fuck of a person!"


:: 2016 12 December :: 11.48 am
:: Music: transplants

You read that right folks, my buddy since I was 8 years old moved to Omaha, literally 3 minutes down the road.

He actually moved a little before thanksgiving.

My handground coffee grinder finally showed up, over a year later, but I like it quite a bit.

Nothing else really notable going on right now, I hit the bonus 2x in a row at work, still working on the house, got all new stainless appliances coming at the end of the month.

brainwash | Random Journal