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The Second Star to the Right

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:: 2005 27 April :: 4.05 pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: A Kiss to Build a Dream On - Louis Armstrong

Breakaway day, another political statement, and other things
First off, just to get up-to-date, we are finished with Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. It was fun while it lasted, and I made friends with a lot of people. Hopefully I will be able to post something about the experiences later.

Today I went on our freshman breakaway day. It's basically a retreat. I wasn't supposed to go this time. I was supposed to go about a month ago, but because I was sick that day, they let me go this time. The best part was right after lunch, when Sara, Louise, Bethany, and I hiked in the rain. We saw a salamander! I've never seen one of those in the wilderness before. But it was resting in the mud in the trail and then climbed lazily over a mound of mud mush, swam through a narrow foggy puddle, and came out the other side to begin his journey up the hill. He was an orange brown color and very cute!

The thing that was kind of funny was, I usually am not excited to go hiking. But i realized today that that is probably because my mom always makes us go on very hot, sunny days, when all the mosquitos and gnats are out, preparing themselves to begin their purpose of existance - to bother the crap out of you. But I truly think that rain is one of the most beautiful things in the world, so that changes the whole thing for me. Especially when you can do it with friends. Though Bethany was kind of annoying me because she kept making arguments about the smallest things. Otherwise, today, there was no sun to bother me, nor too many bugs buzzing around your head. The forest was just beautiful. The leaves were glistening with droplets of water, which rolled down the leaves and fell in large drops onto the earth, or occasionally, your head. And the mud made fun squishy noises. The whole thing made me so happy. Sara, Louise, and I started skipping on the way back, chanting "I do believe in faeries! I do! I do!". Haha it was fun. But the whole thing seemed so short.
By the time we got back to the main gathering place, Sara and I at least, were soaked.

Thinking back on that almost makes me sad that I feel the need to make another political statement. Ah, oh well. For those that are tired of them, you don't need to read it. Though I would appreciate it if you did.


Well, I can't find any of the quotes that I wanted to, so this will be relatively short. Anyway, apparently the radical left wing people have gone too far with a lot of this bush hating stuff. It saddens me, that people can hate someone so much. Especially since they are so loud about it. To other countries, we must seem like idiots. It not only shows that our leader is most likely a bad man, it gives a bad name to Americans as well, because it shows that we have no trust in him what-so-ever, when we were the ones that voted for him. We really don't need people disliking us more than they do.
And knowing media in general, when other countries hear about America and their opinion on their leader, that's probably all the news they hear. They hear the bad things. For example, you rarely ever seen headlines in the newspaper such as: "Mongolia Cheers for their new leader, who did this and this and this" As opposed to headlines like: "Mongolians unhappy about their new leader." Maybe it would be news stating that a new leader has been elected, but after that unless the person had a brilliant idea that is affecting our country as well as the other ones, you usually hear negative things about it. And knowing how many protests we have and how uttterly viscious we are towards our own president, other countries will read about how we hate our leader and how bad of a man he is. They then will get the impression that our leader is a bad man and that the people in the country he is the leader of are stupid for putting him into office. It reflects badly on everyone in the country.
I'm hearing things now that they are comparing him to Adolf Hitler, and I am sick and tired of things like this. I think it's terrible to call someone like that when in reality he is nothing like that man. If president Bush were really that terrible of a man, we would have had enough sense to get him out of office. It's despicable, really. I heard quotes from them going off on the radio while in the car, and I truly was disgusted on how cruel and stupid we can be. It is pointless to hate someone so much and be blinded by that hate that everything he does further is a stupid idea and makes him a terrible man, even before the accuser sees the outcome of his plan. Or, they shoot down his ideas and curse him for them without any better ideas of their own. They don't give the man a chance. The guy's plans so far have not been a complete failure. We've liberated over 50, 000 people so far. Different countries have decided to go to democracies.
The man is not Satan. He is not pure evil. And he is most definitely nothing compared to Adolf Hitler.
Not to mention many of the same old arguments are being brought up over and over again. "He made tax cuts for the rich! Is that fair?!" Yes. Yes, it is fair. Rich people pay the vast majority of the taxes in America, while middle and poor classes hardly make up any of it. So, to these people that have worked hard to get a good job and become successful, instead of living off of wellfare and having kids just to get more money from it, yes, they deserve to be given a break. I could go on and on about this, but I don't really want to.

Another thing that is sad that i heard is that there is this sixteen year old girl who was given a date rape drug when she was fourteen and then raped while unconcious. The boy that did it to her was not convicted of anything because a senator or something of whatever state she is in thinks that it can't really be considered rape because she was unconscious at the time, therefore it was not technically by force. The thing is, the boy did it once before. And to a twelve year old girl. He's eighteen now, and his record is clean.

I heard a clip from the girl telling why she wanted him to be punished, and it makes perfect sense to me. She said, through many tears, that it was like a loop-hole. If that rule stays, anyone can rape anyone as long as they are unconscious and not get in trouble for it. It makes me very mad to hear that the woman person that is not letting this be charged as rape is doing something like that. I think that if she were raped, she would want the guy to be in trouble for it too.

My grandpa's been having heart problems again. My mommy is worried. Now I'm worried.

2 Tales | Tell Me a tale

:: 2005 24 March :: 10.48 pm
:: Mood: irritated
:: Music: So Close - Evanescence

Power and things like that

1. a. Extraordinary intellectual and creative power.
b. A person of extraordinary intellect and talent.
c. A person who has an exceptionally high intelligence quotient, typically above 140 IQ.
2. a. A strong natural talent, aptitude, or inclination.
b. One who has such talent or inclination.

What do people think of when they think of the word "genius"? Albert Einstein, most likely. The man was indeed someone very intelligent. So intelligent that he couldn't even memorize his own phone number. But who are the other geniuses?
I want to bring up some points that I need to get out, not because I want people to agree with me, but because I at least want people to understand where I am coming from. Here I have the freedom to argue it more viciously than I allowed myself to in the discussion I had about this with someone. I asked six different people who they thought of when they heard the word: "genius".
4 - Einstein
1 - Steven Hawkings
1 - Mizuno Ami (Sailor Mercury)

Then I asked them if Abraham Lincoln was a genius:
- "ya. he signed the emancipation proclamation and helped point to the direction of civil liberties for all."
- "i guess lol"
- "Hai!"
- "Yeah"
- "no, just a good pres"
- "no"

And one more. Was Hitler a genius?:
- "Yes indeedy!"
- "yep"
- "yes"
- "yeah"
- "I guess.. but i dont consider him as... i think he's juss nuts.. and crazy."
- "no"

Now you are probably wondering where the hell I am going with this. Most people, when asked, as shown, immediately think of Einstien when they think of a "genius". But Einstein is only one type of genius. He is a genius IQ wise. Opinions vary when it comes to other people. If you asked someone if Einstein was a genius, almost everyone who knew who he was would say "yes."
But what about people without scientific smarts? What about people with a vision? The person I was discussing this with which has now given me the urge to talk about it in here, stated that they believed that Hitler was not a genius, and most people don't think someone such as Walt Disney was a genius because when they think of the definition they think of someone who was smart and that hitler was a "stupidass" or a crazy person.
People who aren't smart, however, can be geniuses just the same. Abraham Lincoln accomplished some great things in his presidency, but his education wasn't nearly at the level as someone's like Einstein's. Because of his accomplishements, and because he had a vision, he has gone down into the world as someone who kept his eyes on those dreams and accomplished them. Whether he personally accomplished them, such as going into battle and personally defeating the enemy is not the case, it's that he had the dream to do it and hired sufficient people to take care of the job for him. What he couldn't do himself, he found people who could.
"There is no such thing as a genius in the sense of animation." Walt Disney created the first full length animated feature film in the history of the world - Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. For the movie Bambi, he had deer brought in, not trapped, to the studio so that the animators could study the way they moved and the way they looked. He discovered Julie Andrews. He had the vision to create an amusement park completely different than any ever before. By doing these things he advanced animation like no one before, including entertainment and its whole new form, and created something completely new for entertainment.
And people can still say that there was no genius involved in that.
On the issue of Hitler being a dumb as psychotic nutjob, that he was. But he was a genius. Anyone that can convice a good part of Germany and Europe that his ideal vision for his country included torture, experiments, and ethnic cleansing in general has got to be one clever man.
A person can be a genius without being a good person. After all, don't we often hear about the villain in a story being an evil genius? My point is, I suppose, that people can be considered a genius without them actually being a smart person academically. There are geniuses of different types everywhere. J.K. Rowling, J.R.R. Tolkein, C.S. Lewis are all geniuses of literature. Alfred hitchcock of horror films, and Steven Spielberg of films in general. Martin Luther King Junior was a genius. Jhonen Vasquez is a genius ^.^
I guess I wanted to try to explain this whole thing better, but i got distracted and my thoughts became chopped up. But I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. Geniuses aren't always people that are smart, they are people that pursue a vision that they have.

5 Tales | Tell Me a tale

:: 2005 20 March :: 4.20 pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: Tobacco Island - Flogging Molly

The color of Crayons and their pathetic little lives
Hm. Well I'm updating.

I was looking at Jimmy's journal and realized I don't know how to get to it. I realize that it's closed, but I thought he was going to make it password protected. I don't know how to do that though.

We're going as a family to see Robots today. It's been a long time since we've gone to see a family movie. I think it will be fun. It's been a long time since I've gotten together with Julie and Ashleigh as well. Not to mention my other friends too. I should set something up.

My sister is looking for flashcards right now.

It's cloudy today, and I'm not very articulate today at all now am I?
I'm trying to figure out if the screen name that says: "TheMaureen" on my buddy list is really Marilyn's sister or marilyn. Judging by it having a profile though and it being a "new motto" I'm guessing it's actually Maureen.

Wow this entry must be very boring to read. Maybe if I danced around with bread up my nose it would be more interesting. Unfortunately I'm not going to do it. I am sockless.

i don't understand factoring equations. Maybe if she had explained it to us a bit better i would have understood. Or if i had had time to ask one of the people in my class during free block. so I guess technically it's my fault, but every once in a while it's fun to blame it on the teacher.

You know, I remember when I was little and we would go to movies we would arrive there early and I was so excited that I would ask my dad when the movie was starting every two minutes because I was impatient and didn't like all of the bustle behind us or the elevator music playing in the background out of the theater speakers. Now I amuse myself by reading out every character on the advertisements. When I say that I don't mean I read them in different voices and play different characters, I mean when I see a "Can your advertisement do this?" I read it as "Can your advertisement do this questionmark"
Now that I think about it though technically that is not every character, if it was I would say "space" for every space. But occasionally I do that too.

I must be damaging my eyes by sitting here staring at the bright moniter while the room is dimly lit because of the closed blinds and no overhead light on. But I don't like the lighting in this room when the light is on. it's too yellow and artificial. I guess I should just open the blinds.

3 Tales | Tell Me a tale

:: 2005 2 March :: 8.09 pm
:: Mood: stressed
:: Music: The Lady of Shalott - Loreena McKennit


"Aoibhneas a bhí
Ach d'imigh sin
Sé lean tú
Do fhear chéile.
An grá mór i do shaoil
Treoraí sé mé.
Bígí liomsa i gcónaí
Lá 's oích'.

Ag caoineadh ar an uaigneas mór
Na deora, go brónach
'Na gcodladh ins an uaigh ghlas chiúin
Faoi shuaimhneas, go domhain."
~ Smaionte - Enya
"There was blissfulness
But that is gone
You followed
Your husband.
The great love in your lives
Will guide me.
Be with me always
Day and night.

Weeping due to the great loneliness
The tears, sorrowfully
Asleep in the quiet green grave
In a deep peace."

Well I finally got the nerve up to ask my mom about Justin's grandma. I'm not sure if I wrote about it in here, but I should probably explain. Justin is one of my sister's best friends, and his grandma and he are very close to our family. About a year ago or so, she was diagnosed with cancer, both lung and brain. She was getting weaker, despite my prayers every night and the prayers of the others that knew her.

To get to the point, I asked my mom in the car yesterday: "Is Mrs. Hough going to die?" My mom hesitated a bit and said: "..yes."
It didn't necessarily surprise me, I had expected it I guess. My mom was talking to Justin's dad on the phone a few weeks ago, and they were talking about it, and the way my mom's voice was and the things she was asking kind of confirmed it for me. I cried the first time I heard about how she was doing. My mom said she went to drop Justin off at his house and she was in bed because she had fallen down and couldn't walk properly. Mom said that as she was talking to her, her eyes started to tear up. I imagine, staring at this woman so frail in bed, I would have too.
She says there seems to be a sense of denial about what's going on. When Mom asked about how Justin was doing, she said that they just wanted things to remain "As normal as possible."
I forget what visit it was, but Mom said that she asked Mrs. Hough what the doctors said, and she responded: "Oh, they said that there weren't going to be any more tests. And that if I needed anything I should just call hospice."
Well, hospice is for people who are dying. People go over to their house to make them as comfortable as possible.

Justin never knew his mother. His grandmother was the only mom he ever knew. I wonder how it will affect him. To feel the rejection of his mother, who left after he was born and is now God-knows-where; all we know is that she isn't in contact with Justin or probably his father at all, and then to have this woman dying, the woman who took care of him all his life like his mother should have. He lost his grandfather a few years ago, and now she's going too.
He calls her "Noni" though i'm not sure if that's how you really spell it. I think it's the Italian name for Grandma. She's the type of woman who talked and talked and kept on talking. She was involved with Justin's school and was there every wednesday to pick him up. Now we pick him up on Wednesdays because one week Mom and my sister saw Justin sitting there almost an hour or so after school and Denise asked why and he said he was waiting for is grandma. Mom called and she said that she had fallen down and couldn't gather the strength to go pick up Justin.
When I was sick in the hospital with appendisitis (I ended up staying there for about a month because it got infected) she and Justin came to visit me and she gave me this teddy bear that sits on a shelf or a desk and if you press a button it sings. Whenever I'd see her she'd wave and say "Hi Jessica! How are you?" And I remember one time when my dad was late picking us up she sat in the parking lot in her car and waited around for him to come so that we would't have to go to daycare.
She had good morals and wanted Justin to go to the best schools possible and encouraged him to do well in school.
But I'm talking like she's gone already.

I guess I kind of thought about it yesterday when we were in drama class and Sara got called out by the scary attendence office lady. She walked out thinking she was in trouble. We continued our discussion about relationships with our family members and how you could build a character out of that when Sara can back in, face kind of blank but flushed. Someone spoke up and asked what happened, thinking she was in trouble. Sara responded: "I'm leaving at nine o'clock tomorrow morning to go to my grandmother's funeral." And she broke down crying.

It made me think of Justin's grandma, and then I started thinking about what would happen if I lost my grandma. I love my grandma as much as I love my closest friends and family. I want to spend more time with her. When I heard about her last stroke a while ago, I started crying because I was scared. I don't know what I would do if I lost her. I want her to see me get married. I want her to meet my kids so that she can smile and watch them and become a great-grandma.

A few weeks ago my sister and I spent the night at her house and my grandma and I sat there together and watched movies together and made fun of them and talked most of the night. There was a wedding on one of the movies we were watching and I said: "I want to get married when it's all pretty and cloudy like that. Ooh! In a castle in Ireland!" (yes, like Marilyn mentioned). She smiled and said "What would be very pretty. You have to invite me, okay? And if I can't be there I'll be there in spirit." I saw the saddness in her eyes, and it made me very sad too. I still tried to smile and nodded and said "Ok."

And I can't help but think that Justin's grandma won't get to see him get married, she won't get to meet his children and hug them and kiss them and tell them stories and smile at their childish innocence and laughter. She won't get to see him go off to college and become the successful person that I know he will be.
My family won't get to have those long conversations with her about politics and the problems in the school, and I won't get to hear her say "Hi Jessica! How are you?" as I see her while walking around the campus of my sister's school.
When she leaves, things will be different. I hope she knows how much people love her company. I hope she remembers all the things that made her happy in her life. I hope she knows that we will miss her. And when she leaves, we will all be very sad.

2 Tales | Tell Me a tale

:: 2005 19 February :: 2.27 pm
:: Mood: like a procrastinator
:: Music: A little less conversation - Elvis Presley

We are born innocent. Believe me, Adia, we are still innocent..
Howdy! Time to update, ne? yesh. So i will. There's a creepy advertisement above my buddy list for some "Paradise Galleries" dolls right now. They look like little people. And they scare me. Holy crap dude.
My dad stole my chair. I'm gonna take it back from him.

That's better. My parents are looking at a Disney timeshare thingy. But now they're looking at this Starwood thing. Agh I hope we will get Disney. But it looks like they are discouraged from that right now. This makes me sad.
I will listen to Disney fireworks songs now.

Wow, I'm realy a dork about this stuff. I don't care though. I only talk about it so much because I love it so much. I don't mean to annoy people. But I guess if you like something so much that you feel the desire to talk about it a lot you should be allowed to, no matter what people say. It's simply a passion after all, there's nothing wrong with liking it. AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! MUAHAHAHA! Marilyn, don't be afraid to talk about The Doors all you want, or baseball, or American Dreams, or The Notebook, okeedokie? Because I know I annoy you sometimes with my talk about Disney and stuff like that. I don't want you feeling bad about it though because that makes me feel bad about it lol.

Anyway, what is there to talk about? why do I talk to myself in my journal entries? It's kinda weird. Oo this music is all Irish and cool.

Eric doesn't like being called Periwinkle. So I'm going to call him that because I can and it's basically become a game to bother eachother.

That reminds me of something my friend told me. My friend Teryn has a buddy ol' pal and they go back and forth playing practical jokes on eachother. So for his birthday she got him a subscription to Cosmogirl, and then she finds out that for Christmas he got her a subscription to... Playboy.

Teehee fonny. Wonder how she's going to explain that to her parents.

I'm going to head off somewhere, so I guess this will be the end of my short entry of doom. ta ta!

1 Tale | Tell Me a tale

:: 2005 28 January :: 6.42 am
:: Mood: tired

Dum dum duuuum
Just a real quick entry before school for the sake of simply updating and nothing more. Decided to say howdy. Life's been fine I guess. Well, there's some sad news and stuff but I'll talk about that when I get the chance to create a real entry.

You know, nobody is really online in the morning. Tis kinda fonny.

"Mama.. I just killed a man. Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he's dead. Mama, life had just begun, but now I've gone and thrown it all away. Mama, ooo, I didn't mean to make you cry. If I'm not back again this time tomorrow, carry on, carry on, cuz nothing really matters."
--Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen

Ah yes that is a cool song. Kinda sad once you think about it, ne?

Juuuuuuuulia might start going out with one of Ryan's best friends, Ryan (woah no way!) or just "Miller". Teehee that would be funny. She' buggin me to go to the mixer dance thing and bring ryan and ryan and I don't really wanna go. Oh well we shall see, we shall see, ne?

I understood the math assignment in class yesterday! I've been having trouble feeling like I understand things in the math class, but I understood the thing we did yesterday and I'm so happy!

Well, time to get into the car and head right back off to schoolio, foolio.

Ta hu wa'ii la na ta'hu wa'ii la! Enu he'i la pa heini'o alohala! O'otutu ii lu'a, ii'na'o a la, a'ahu a'hi a na halai!

3 Tales | Tell Me a tale

:: 2005 1 January :: 8.40 pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: Aerials - System of a Down

Disneyland and shtuff
HOWDY Y'ALL! I just came back from my favorite place on earth next to Walt Disney World. Disneyland! WEeeeee! *dorkish grin*
Twas mucho fun and mucho crowded.
*GASPUS!* you know what Michael Eisner is doing now?! MULAN II! He can't keep doing this to Disney! I sob. Sob I do. *sobs*
No more sequels! Not unless they be damn good ones! Walt didnt' believe in sequels you know!
New Years in Disneyland was of course packed with people. After the fireworks we had to seek shelter in a photo shop on Main Street and then in an outside eating area for a restaraunt.
We ate in the Blue Bayou, the restaraunt in the Pirates of the Caribbean building. Twas very nice. that one guy that played Harry Osbourne in Spiderman 1 and 2 was there. He walked out with a cast member while we were waiting to get in. I don't think many people noticed him except my mom and me. Well I'm sure they noticed him elsewhere but I meant at least at the restaraunt as he was walking out.
There were a bunch of Japanese tourists there while as well and they were so cute! There was this one group of two guys and I think a girl on mainstreet that looked maybe in their early 20s and they were taking a picture with the castle in the background and when they took the picture they held two fingers up in the "v" for victory sign thingy. It was cool to see because it's the typical Japanese picture thing! ^.^ And it could possible be because I'm just a weird freak lol. My reaction: "*jumping up and down and speaking in excited whispers* lookit lookit! They did the finger thingymabob Japanese cool thingy! view it! They did the finger thingy!"
My parents looked at me as if I was insane, and even my sister talked to me as if I was having problems.
Twas a vunderful trip indeed. We went to the new Hollywood Tower of Terror. Twas mucho fun! I liked the work they put into theming it better in the Florida one, but then again they had less land to work with over here. Twas still very fun.
What pisses me off is when they have those really unenthusiatsic cast members (employees) that are really boring and out of it.
Methinks it would be fun to work at Disneyland because you get the chance to act as well as earn money for it. Well, at least if you are working for themed rides.

Anyway, Christmas was lurvley! Lots of Lurvely-ness!
I went and saw Finding Neverland with my family! Highly recommended movie! I lurve it muchly! Actually I think it's become one of my favorites. I saw it a second time with Ryan and Javier. I wouldnt mind seeing it a third time! Anyone wanna take me? :D

Hmm where was i?

I've gotta stop chewing my nails.

Well anyway, I guess that's all I'll write about right now. Happy New Year to everyone! Kinda hard to believe that 2004 is over and 2005 has started. Sad to think of it, actually. Another year gone by.
And another one ahead.

Oh Lord, help us.

4 Tales | Tell Me a tale

:: 2004 10 December :: 6.23 pm
:: Mood: ecstatic
:: Music: Rock No Gyakusuu - Miyavi

Okeedokie! Tis Friday! And tomorrow is the Winter Ball! Oh joy in my freaking heart. I want to go, but the whole fancy dress thing is kinda weird for me. I would like to be seen in public as little as possible.

Today was today. Talked a bunch about the Odyssey in English. She assigned each group a god to draw a picture of and write a bit of info on. I wanted Hermes really badly, so she was nice and put him in. Then though, there weren't enough important gods assigned to the groups. Apollo, Dionysus, and I forget who else were left behind unintentionally. When she discovered that there were more gods then there were groups, or at least that the important gods had been somewhat neglected, she said, "We have to take a few off. So I'm going to take off... Hermes"
"NO! Not Hermes!" said I!
She said that she was sorry and that Dionysus and the other dude were more important than Hermes. But then someone spoke up and said that they would take on another one, then another group said they would do the same, and then a third group. They saved Hermes for me!
I was thinking: "Aww. Thanks guys! You saved Hermes for me!"

Twas very cool. Then I felt kinda bad because we didn't take on two gods. But it was very nice of them. I was with Diana in my pair, and the thing about us is that we both like to draw, and it's hard for us to decide what to make hermes look like. We brainstormed the way he would look for a while before we even started attempting anything.

After school I had about an hour to spare, so I went with Erin, Darya, and Kiley down to San Jose State and raided their Jamaba Juice. Stupid people don't accept the gift cards. As we were waiting to cross the street they started talking about that movie "Bowling for Columbine."
"That's a good movie"
"yeah it is"
"I haven't seen it. I really want to."
Michael Moore makes me sick. That fat bastard can go drown in a sea of donuts for all I care. He should spare us all and stop making those movies of his.
But yush. Just a little annoyance of mine.

We got back and I sat outside of Manley Hall (teehee. Fonny name). Nicola came by and said that she was going to email Mr. McCaw, our drama teacher and play directorwith some questions she had. Now, just to catch up, I tried out for the spring musical and got called back. However, the cast list isn't supposed to be posted until monday or tuesday. So I asked Nicola jokingly if she'd ask Mr. McCaw if I got a part in the play because I wanted to know.
The play we are doing by the way, is Joseph and the amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.
A little bit later I went into the lobby and was headed to the library to see what erin and darya were doing in there, when Mr. McCaw came in and called my name.
"Nicola just sent me an email saying that you wanted to know if you got a part in the play."
"Oh yeah," I said and smiled sheepishly. I didn't really expect him to tell me anyway.
But instead he said "Come here." So I went over with him kinda near the beginning of the hallway that leads off to the computer labs in Manley Hall.
I notice he glanced around a bit. "I'm not going to have the cast list posted until probably Tuesday with the way this is going because there are a lot of people to cast. Now, I've gotten your permission slip from your parents, and I haven't received any objections from any of your teachers, so things are looking okay. You can't tell anyone, but you're Joseph."

I was so happy! I mean, when you think about it, I am a freshman, and got the lead of the spring musical, which is the biggest dramatic production of the year. I'm so freaking happy. It's a really big accomplishment for me.

However, I have said that i would not tell anyone at school until the cast list is posted, so Marilyn, you can't mention this to anyone if the cast list isnt posted on Monday.

Yush I am so very happy. I will do a dance of happiness.

12 Tales | Tell Me a tale

:: 2004 18 November :: 9.37 pm
:: Mood: okeedokie
:: Music: We go on - From Illuminations in EPCOT, walt disney World

Reasonably quick update

This song always makes me feel sad. I miss Walt Disney World muchly *hugs it*. Anyway, as for how life it? Stressful. School as of recently sucks ass. The work is making me feel crappy. I imagine I'll get over it once I stop being so tired. Been having some ugly days lately. Ah, teenagers and their moments of insecurity, don't ya love it? No. Tis not loveable. I dont even know why i feel stressed. Maybe it's the makeup work from yesterday or the fact that the grading period ends Friday. I hope this week goes by fast.

I love Christmas songs.

Anyway, an update in the political world. The damn media is over exaggerating things again, but what's so new about that?
They're talking about how this marine soldier killed an innocent wounded Iraqi soldier, violating the rules of combat. The thing is, people arent getting the real story here. These Iraqi soldiers have been boobi-trapping the dead and wounded bodies of their own soldiers, so that they will explode if touched by a soldier. Recently actually, a guy from Gilroy and his friend who was over there was killed by one
of those people.
Sean Hannity played the video on his radio, which means we can only hear sound, really, but what I heard of it was the soldiers talking and then one of them going, "He's playing dead! He's playing dead! Shit! he's playing dead!" Then the gun shot.
It makes me sick how people can put a man on trial for protecting himself and his friends. And about violating the rules of combat.. what do you think these Iraqi soldiers are doing? Playing by the rules?!
Not to mention it's a soldiers reaction to kill someone if he feels he's in danger. I mean think of all the things these guys have been through! This man was shot in the face the day before and back on duty the next day.

This subject kinda reminds me of a question I asked my mom once and I asked her why they don't have people cleaning up the sides of the highways anymore, because it's pretty damn dirty. She said it was because the people think it's cruel and unusual punishment to put prisoners out there. After all, they might get hit! Oh no! These poor child molesters, rapists, and murderers aren't allowed to help the environment anymore because they might get hit by cars! Numero uno: if they stay far enough from the road, that probably wouldnt happen. numero dos: If the driver is a dumbass and hits them, get the license plate number and sue them or try them for murder or something lol. Then they can be the ones working on cleaning up the trash. Or, to prevent all that, they can close off a part of the road or one of the lanes or something.
Silly silly liberals.

NOW ON ABORTION! WOOHOO! Bunch of political crap here.
First of all, these people are whining "Women should have the choice on whether they want to give birth to the baby or not." HELLO HOME DAWGIES! Them thar wimmin had the choice to have sex! Simple as that. You talk about well they'll find illegal ways to do it if it's banned and then people will die because of it. Okeedokie. Then DON'T TRY TO KILL IT! What a concept. Give birth to the baby, and put it up for adoption.
Now there are a few exeptions, and I mean very few in my case. Rape, for example. I have been told that after someone is raped they take them into the hospital and clean things out to lessen the chance of the woman getting pregnant. Of course, if you're a little too late, man does that suck. lol. I guess depending on how strong of a person you are, if you were raped and got pregnant, try to have the baby and give it up. Though of course it would make me sick to have the child of the person who raped me, so I dont quite know my stance on that. The second condition, is if the mother is in danger of dying because of the pregnancy. She will be labeled by me as a complete dumbass for having sex and not considering the consequences, and I wouldn't think of her as a very honorable person, but I suppose if she has to get an abortion, then she has to. Though it also makes me feel gross to say that.

On the death penalty, people say that those who are pro-life should be against the death penalty as well. I'm not. It's a simple as this: there's a difference between taking an innocent life and a sick murdering bastard's life.

Now on a happier note, my mom told me a few weeks back that she was doing something at school. Actually I think it was the seventh grade zoo trip that she was chaperoning, and she had that Clark girl in her group. Mrs. Clark, who was that science teacher lady for the lower grades at some point, is in the army. Still in the U.S., but she's preparing troops to go in to Iraq I think. The clark girl was talking with my mom and she said very cautiously: "..So.. who are you voting for?"
My mom said "Bush" and then the Clark girl smiled and said "Good. Because he'll get my mom home faster."

Now out of politics and back into my life. Let's see, what's happening in my life? well, the play went well and was a lot of fun. how I miss it. So that means to practices, which, despite my missing the performances, is a good thing because now I get more rest. Maybe now I'll go back to being ridiculously hyper in the mornings. Of course that can't be good for everyone in my school, so maybe it's just good for me.
I'd talk about Ryan more, but I remember how we used to make fun of Sarah and Stephanie for talking about boys constantly, and I'm afraid I'm going to sound like them too much. I shall keep that to my paper journal I guess.

Doody Doody doody. I gotta stop eating crap, dude. Well at least recently I've been snacking too much. If I had a swimming pool I'd excercise a lot more often. Me Mum says I should ride "the bike", which is an excercise bike upstairs, if I'm feeling crappy, but I don't like it. Oh well. Gotta start somewhere I guess.

This Woman's Place Project is a peice of crap. I feel bad for those people who got the really boring women. I'm not even overly excited about doing a report on princess diana, which doesnt mean I dont appreciate it and think she was cool, but I just dont want to write a whole assigned report thing.

Anyway, I think that will be all I'll write for today. Tootles! And sorry everything's so political now-a-days!

5 Tales | Tell Me a tale

:: 2004 3 November :: 9.28 pm
:: Mood: ecstatic
:: Music: New York, New York - Frank Sinatra and Tony Bennet


I'm so happy that I didnt wake up this morning to Kerry being my president.

I kind of hope all this political unsettlement will calm down a bit, but then again it's going to be so unexciting not really being able to argue with any left wing liberals. I kind of feel bad for some of them, especially Julia. She looked really upset this morning when I walked in. Ah I hope she will get better.

Halloween was good good. I was a gothic lolita, as planned, though I don't know if I talked about my costume here. Anyway, it was a black boddess top that zipped up in the back, and some fishnet sleeves that I wanted to add to it. A lacy kinda poofy black skirt. Sounds dumb but i don't know how to describe it. Mind you, these are the only times I will willingly wear a skirt -- in costume or if I am forced by school formal uniform and or mother. And then my blue and black striped stockings, or as I like to call them, Totchi or Toshiya stockings. Then my boots and zee makeup ^-^ Yush i liked it muchly.

Hmm so for recent things.... lesseeee... Well Friday I went to another football game with Ryan! ^.^ Twas fun, he's so nice and cuddly. lol. Next time I have to invite both Marilyn and Louise *nodnod* because if I don't I'll feel guilty but if I do I'll feel guilty anyway.

We have this Friday off and Monday as well, but I have to help out at 8th grade day on Friday, so no extra sleep for me.

Not to mention next week is Hell Week for the play. Practices from 6 PM to 10 PM. Right now it's only eight and I'm already exhausted from practices. It sucks. I really need to catch up on my sleep this weekend. Anyway, I need to get this character sketch outline done tonight. Maybe if I stare at the word processing application long enough I'll get something done.

Tell Me a tale

:: 2004 10 October :: 11.32 pm
:: Mood: full
:: Music: Ebudae - Enya

Quick update
Here's just a quick update because I don't feel like typing all that much right now. But here's an article thing I found that I'd love to post here. Well it's more like a forum thread, but you get the picture.

You know what Im sick of? Im sick of all this liberal sympathy towards the soldiers of the war. Dont hurt the poor little 18 year old kid; he shouldnt have to fight this battle. Its not worth his life to drop the price of oil a fraction of a cent. Heres news for you liberal sympathizers, hes not a damn kid. Hes a soldier. Hes a soldier who signed up on his own free will to be a soldier. He made the decision by himself, and has prepared to make a sacrifice to his country if necessary. Hes not all talk like you damn idiots running the television stations and news media. Hes actually doing something to help the welfare of this country, unlike you. Hes not sitting at home complaining or teaching students biased views in college about the evils of Mr. Bush. Hes not a whiner or a wiener, like many of you are. He, and men and women just like him, train every single day in preparation to go to war and fight those who threaten our motherland. The United States is only what it is today because of people like him, those who decided to give something back instead of hogging all the glory without the repercussions. He didnt join the military for a big pay check or to further the luxury of his life, because he will never find that in the armed forces. He joined to truly help others. Go find something else to complain about you dime a dollar, stupid piece of shit, liberal sympathizers. Writes

First off let me tell u that u need to calm the fuck down. People have a right to speak their minds just like u are doing on this site so fucking deal with it.

Second, yes, there are many people who signed up for the military under their own free will. But dont ever say that everyone that's in Iraq signed up under free will. On my 18th bday I was forced by law to sign up by law for "Selective service" or in my words the fucking draft. Myself and my brother have many friends who were "activated"....DRAFTED to go to Iraq and are there as I'm writing this. So fuck that, screw your outlook on the war that everyone is there under their own will. You may have been, but most people I know that are there, arent. And I would never sacrifice my life for a country that tells people that they have to fight for it.

In response:

Everyone whom is in Iraq signed up under their own free will, including your buddies who are building sand castles right now. They may not be in Iraq under their own free will, but regardless, they knew what a soldiers responsibilities were when they took the oath. They knew there was an opportunity of deployment. As for the selective service you speak of, its not the draft you idiot. It only becomes a drawing for draftees when the United States is at the point where it has to draft people, which by the way hasn't happened since Vietnam. And youre probably thinking, what does this guy know? Im a soldier, and every one of my friends are soldiers. Most have already been to and returned from Iraq. Youre a liberal piece of dog shit, which sucks off the welfare of our country. You dont like it here? Join the Taliban you fuck.


i found this in the weirdest and most random place anywhere: "". lol I went there because of a link in Sarah Andrade's profile, so it's not like I visit there regularly or anything ^.^


1 Tale | Tell Me a tale

:: 2004 23 September :: 8.37 pm
:: Mood: giddy
:: Music: Chop suey - System of a Down

No quote today, unless I feel like it later, and I just might feel like it later.
So what's been happening lately? Well, I'm singing at The Taste of Morgan Hill Saturday morning at 10:00, and am paranoid that I'm going to mess something up. But oh well.
Auditioned for the "play" which is basically six comedy sketches. He was only casting 12 people out of everyone who tried out, and I got in! I'm so happy! Except we had practice yesterday and man does acting like a chimp do Hell on your legs and back. I didn't even know the muscles in your back could get sore! But they did. And it's weird indeed.
Peach iced tea is good.
After school today I headed over to Johnny Rockets with Louise, Joanne, and Kiley. I just got a soda and stole off of other people's plates, well, I usually waited for them to offer first.
Oh yeah! Yesterday my dad let me drive through the cemetery! He drove in just through the gates and stopped and randomly asked "You wanna drive?" I went "Sure!" So I got to drive! It was fun. We drove to my great grandpa's grave, because it was his birthday. He would have been 97 I think it was. Dad told me to take out a Sharpee and we wrote "Happy birthday G-pa!" on the polished part of his grave. It will wash off eventually; we weren't violating it or anything. After that he let me get back behind the wheel and I went down to check out this shrine they had in the cemetery Japanese style. It was really pretty - the gates were carved stone and the building itself was painted reds with a black curvy pagoda roof. Then I drove up a big hill where they had a big stone building where they burned the bodies of people for cremation and discovered there we a few more graves up there, but they were very rich graves. They were large and of dark polished marble, next to them were waterfalls. Twas so pretty! What would it be like to be buried there? .. Well I guess you wouldn't really know, being that you're dead.
On the way home (no, I was not driving) Dad and I started up the conversation of why my aunt Ceal had chosen to bury Nick. I like talking to her a lot of the time, but there is something about her that is weird. She buried Nick in a graveyard out of our way and with no family members buried there as well, as far as I know. We haven't really gone to visit his grave in a while because it's too far out of the way. None of the headstones as decorated an unique they're all the flat boring ones. Dad says it was because she wants to mourn Nick's death by herself, that she wants his death all to herself. I think in some way that's very true. Well, she's been mourning over his death since it happened, she's never really stopped. I wonder if she holds a grudge against us because we've been able to move on, or maybe she prefer's it that way, that she gets all Nick's attention. Some of it really doesn't make sense, and it's hard to explain like this unless you happen to know her well enough to understand. She's really a nice person, but there's something that's inwardly selfish about her. She doesn't mean to be, that's just the way she can be every once in a while. Spoiled, I suppose. But you can tell it's not something she's aware of or that she thinks she's better than anyone. But then again that's hard to explain as well, so I might as well quit trying.
Four day weekend. I get to sleep in tomorrow. Yay!

1 Tale | Tell Me a tale

:: 2004 15 September :: 12.06 am


wee! He turned 23 today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEEV-SAN!

Tell Me a tale

:: 2004 3 September :: 10.22 pm
:: Music: Erode - Dir en Grey

Jared Leto is doing a gay movie with Heath Ledger ^^

"What a beautiful day. The sun is shining, the birds are singing.... I want to go home."

-Wednesday Addams; The Addam's Familt Reunion

Well, I've been told I should update my journal again which is true, because I've been planning to write a lot in here. Come to think of it I should probably go one Quizilla and make a second quiz thingy as well. M-chan would be happy if I did that.

Let's see now.. school's been going very well. Got my first English Honors quiz back with a 95% which is an A, so I'm very happy ^^. I've met a bunch of people there. Maybe later I'll list them and tell you a bit about them (oh fun).

First I think I'm going to talk about something my sister and I talked about about a week or two ago. I can't remember how we got on the subject, but I found it somewhat interesting, so I'm going to put my opinion on it here.

The Catholic church I think, though others may think otherwise, is a very confusing religion. They teach you that God created the universe, that God knows everything that's going to happen before-hand, and that no one is perfect besides God.
First thing I disagree with? I don't think God's perfect. Why? Because the Catholic church also teaches that God gets sad when we do wrong, that he has decisions to make. In my opinion, if God was perfect, why would he have to make choices? Why would he get sad when someone does something he doesn't like? He felt pain when he had to make that desicion to wipe out the planet in a flood (and yes, I know that's only a story), and he felt anguish when His son died on the cross. He had to make a choice, and He had to make a decision. He was sad about that decision and didn't want to do it, but He knew he had to. If you were perfect would you have regrets? What is "perfect" anyway.
The Catholic church also says that we were created in God's image. If nobody's perfect, and everybody was created in the likeness of Him, would he be perfect?
Secondly, free choice. I've been taught over the years that God gives us free choice, but then at the same time He also knows everything we're going to do. If He knows, tell me, how is that free choice? It may create the illusion we have a choice what to do, but in reality, we don't. So then if even God does not entirely grant us that, does that mean this believe of "free-choice" never even existed? Are our lives played out one by one, and what we think are surprises really aren't all that surprising?
Now on another thing having to do with belief, but not Catholicism. In some religions they believe that you are reincarnated repetitively. What you did in your past life has to do with what you become next. Many people believe that it is unlucky to become and animal of some sort and that it's much better to become a human. But I really don't find humans all that great. People assume that all animals are dumber than us, and I imagine they are in a lot of ways. But they have something that we lose when we're very young. As we grow up we lose our child-like innocence, but I noticed that animals really have no guilt. If they kill, it's usually for food. Dogs especially. A lot of people think it's dumb to follow someone around no matter what, because you want someone to love you. But what's wrong with wanting to feel loved?
We're arrogant to think we're better than anything else that lives on this earth. If we can't understand anything about these other things, like what they think, how can we say something like that? I mean you can't just assume.
No, I'm not saying animals are the smartest things in the world, but I do think that some things are of a higher rank than humans in many ways, say I!


I think too much.

I need to go pack real quick. We're going to Capitola tomorrow.

Okeedokie. Now shall I tell you about people at ND? Naw I think I'll save that for later.

Stab the dolls of hate.
Wash yourself with their blood.
Drive into the raging current of time.
Swing your murderous weapon into the belly. "The earth."
Shout and start creating confusion,
shed your blood for pleasure. And what?
For love? What am I supposed to do?

-"Art of Life" by X Japan

Yush I was looking up the lyrics to that and I liked a few excerpts. Decided to put that one in here ^.^.

Bai now!

2 Tales | Tell Me a tale

:: 2004 22 August :: 6.53 pm
:: Mood: exanimate
:: Music: Come to Jesus - Mindy Smith (it is very sad-sounding and pretty)

Great Googly Moogly!

"You walk past me -
I can feel your pain.
Time changes everything;
One truth always stays the same:
You're still you,
After all,
You're still you."

"You're Still you" by Josh Groban

Friday night stayed over at my grandma's. I'm proud of myself. Over the two times I went in her pool I swam 70 laps (35 Friday evening and 35 Saturday early afternoon), which is pretty good considering I haven't exercised as regularly as I would have liked to during the summer. And I figure Mema's pool is a bit shorter than the pool we used when my sister and I were on the swim team. Didn't do the laps all at once though. I took it pretty slow, 2-4 at a time. Oh well. I'm happy that my arms are sore.

Is that normal, being happy that your arms are sore?

My grandma's doing very well ^_^. She still has a great sense of humor lol. She's fonny. I luff my Mema.

Today I went to my Godfather and, technically I guess, cousin's house. Mike, my Godfather, is really funny. He and my dad get along so well. They'll be sitting on the couch watching olympics rowing or something and Dad will go "Yeah, Mike, you remember when we used to row for the Santa Clara rowing team?"
"Oh yeah, those were the days"
"Yep. mike used to be the guy with the bullhorn that would stand up and yell, 'ROW! ROW! ROW!'. Yeah, that was great."
And of course they've never done anything like that in their life.
"You know, Dennis (my dad), I'm keeping my eye out for a sitting in a chair competition. I - yeah I think I could get the gold for that."
"I think that should go for the Fall Olympics"
"Hey yeah! That's when all the new TV shows are on."
"Exactly. Great idea, we should do that! Fall Olympics.."
Mike also thinks he's Spiderman. You know those Spiderman decoder cards you can get from a cereal box or something? Apparently when Mike's family went to Hawaii they were going to the movie theaters and when they got up to one of the ticket guys or something Mike pulled out his Spiderman card and said, "Hey like my Spiderman card?"
The guy looke at him.
"Yeah look isn't it cool? These are very rare. I have a Spiderman card" he handed the card to the ticket guy.
"Yeah yeah mister that's really nice," he said nodding politely and pretending to examine the card, smiling.
"Yeah I know isn't it awesome?"
The ticket guy was probably thinking to himself This poor man is retarded . lol ^_^.

Anyway, Mike has three daughters, my cousins: Stephanie, Peggy, and Lauren. Stephanie is 13 and one of the top gymnasts in the state. She'll probably be at the next summer olympics. Peggy is 15 and goes to Mitti. Lauren just turned 18 and graduated from Presentation this year. Every year they celebrate Lauren and Stephanie's birthdays together because they're so close together, so that's what we were there for. things are kind of awkward though, because we're invited and then so are their cousins on their mom's side. I dunno I know they don't mean to make us feel ignored, and maybe I'm just antisocial when it comes to that stuff, but we kind of feel left out. Oh well, what can you do?

I am proud to announce, however, that Mike, Yolanda (his wife), Larry (peggy, Lauren, and Stephanie's uncle on their mom's side), Larry (larry's son lol), Joe (oldest of Larry's sons), and Larry #1's wife are voting for Bush. You can add my parents to that number, and Yolanda's nasically telling Lauren she's voting for Bush this year, since she just turned 18. lol. So that's... 9 people methinks. I was surprised to hear they were on the republican side indeed.
Mike says he think's Kerry's a wimp. Teehee.

You know something I find interesting? I was talking to Jen Carrow the other day, and I'm well aware that she may have the address to this journal, so I can only half hope she doesn't see this. I don't like it when people are angry with me, but who knows? Maybe if she reads this she'll understand what I'm saying.
We were talking about how people can be stereotypical about things, like religion. During that conversation she said something like: "yeah it bugs me when people say things and don't consider other people's feelings." It made me wonder: You think she thought about that when she wrote that note about Mrs. Saunders?

For those that don't know, Mrs. Saunders, my English teacher, had bad hip problems. I think she had surgery on it this summer. But because of this problem she would make pain sounds, like gasps every once in a while when she did things. I don't particularly think that Mrs. Saunders was the greatest nor the friendliest teacher in the world, but when she wasn't teaching, she was really a nice person, and I think that she should at least be respected in some part that she came in to teach us even though her hip sometimes hurt her so much she could hardly walk. For some reason Jen has hated to a point beyond hate.. I guess you could say she practically loathed her. But I could never figure out why. I don't ever remember Mrs. Saunders doing anything besides being exessively grumpy, but maybe there's something deeper than that.
One day she wrote a note. I believe it said something like: "Yeah I bet the reason Mrs. Saunders moans like that all the time is because she goes to the bathroom and sticks a dildo in her and leaves it in all day."
Mrs. Saunders found it, and you can imagine how hurt she was. I think she even cried. I don't care how much you dislike a person, you do not say something as cruel as that. The woman is suffering from sickness and pain and she still comes to teach us. I was sickened when I heard that one of my classmates wrote that about someone. I think I was even afraid to tell and complain to my Mom or any of my friends outside school because I was so ashamed of it. It's despicable.

I remember for a period of time I truly hated Jen. I hated how someone could be so sick as to say something like that about a person who, to other people at least, has done nothing. Someone who's sick. I did truly hate her.

And I wonder if she thought about what other people's feelings when she wrote that. Did she realize how many people would disagree with what she did? Do you think she maybe truly believed people would agree with her? And after she came back from suspention I don't even know if she was sorry for what she did.

Do I just not understand things?

I wish she'd explain to me. I want to try to understand.

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