I'm Emily. I'm 18.
I don't update often.
I have a wonderful boyfriend, Tyler.
I have the best sister a person could have, Mackenzie.
I have a best friend, Tori.
I love my life. [:

 

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EAPTWB<3

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:: 2008 5 March :: 9.02 am
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: We're in heaven- cascada

baby you're all that i need.
Tyler didn't call me at all yesterday, but he called me this morning to say I love you. [: Tori's not at school again, so I'm bored as fuck. I don't have much to say.

Have a good day!
-Em.

wanna?


:: 2008 4 March :: 9.03 am
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Bittersweet Symphony.

EAPTWB<3
So i'll probably be updating this thing until I graduate, cause I aide 3rd period. So I'll be updating everyday. Today I found out I don't have to come to school next Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday. So hopefully Tyler gets out Monday, that would be perfect! So I can spend those 3 days with him. I watched Cruel Intentions for the first time about a week ago. That's my new favorite, It's an amazing movie.

I don't really feel like typing anymore.
Have a good day!

-Em

wanna?


:: 2008 25 February :: 10.00 am
:: Mood: disappointed
:: Music: Boosie

Damn, looking at this is ridiculous. It's been so damn long. I'm a senior now, and graduating in 2 1/2 months. I have a wonderful boyfriend, Tyler William Bauer. I have a best friend Victoria May Cosgrove. My boyfriends in jail at the moment. He went in 2/13/08 and his courtdate is 3/4/08. So hopefully he gets out a couple days after that. But we don't know. My birthday was 2/15/08, 18! Holla! I got some new piercings, Septum, Smiley, and Lip. Tattoo soon, hopefully. I listen to rap more often than anything else. I don't have a job. But I have a car waiting in the garage for me to get a job. I got kicked out of school Last february, and I just got back this year. I love art, hopefully that will be my field in college. But we'll see. I'm hoping Tyler and I stay together for a long time. I really love him, so I hope things go well with him. I'm going crazy with him being in jail. It's a terrible feeling. But I will live.



Everyone have a nice day!



EAPTWB<3



I'll probably never update this again, or even think to look at it.♥

wanna?


:: 2005 7 December :: 12.35 pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: everytime I die.

bleh.
I drive tomorrow. And we get to go to Mc Donalds. YAY! Stuff happened today; but I don't really have time to write. I have to leave in a few minutes to go get Stephen. :)

I really like him.
But I love Jordan.

BLEH.

it turns us on to turn you down.

emilypray.

wanna?


:: 2005 6 December :: 12.13 pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: keyboards.

So today; not that exciting. Just the plan regular day. I've decided that I'm not going to speak of Alison anymore. I don't care about her or her life anymore. Or Amberly, Christina, and Eryn. They can die for all I care. But if they don't I don't care about that either. Anyway. I finally told Stephen that "you're a mean face; especially when youre with Carissa. You never talk to me when your with her" "but you were with tim brown." "im glad he was with me so I wouldnt have to walk all by myself" "is that why you were mad yesterday?" "i dont know whatever" *gives me a hug**puts his head on my head* and says "I'm sorry". Little does he know.. I saw what he did to Carissa when I was standing behind them.. I don't think he knew I was there. But I saw he put his arm around her lower back and grabbed her shirt a little bit.. then let go. He does that to me.. but I don't want him doing it to her. I don't know. Angel said if I like him as much as I think I do.. then I should like him for a while. :) But. I don't know. My dad called the cops on me the other night. Yeah. I need a cigarette. Thank god for Lauren. CAN'T WAIT TILL I GET OFF THE BUS TO SMOKE THAT BITCH.

I'm gunna go.

emilypray.

wanna?


:: 2005 5 December :: 12.35 pm
:: Music: There's a read why these tables are numbered honey, you just haven't figured it out yet.

Ok so I just wrote an entry that was nice and long. One of the best entrys ever and the fucking power went out at school.

sorrykids.

Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
I've never looked better, and you can't stand it

And I know, and I know, it just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up.
I've never been so surreptitious, so of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch.

wanna?


:: 2005 30 November :: 12.10 pm
:: Mood: irritated
:: Music: typing.

we real niggas; ya'll hoes.
so carissa is meeting stephen with me after 5th period now. did anyone care to know how i felt about this? apparently not. i mean; its not like i can be all "i dont want you to walk with us." i work with her now and i dont wanna start drama. these past few days have been hell. alison got her friends to call me 4953475 times. so i called her and bitched her out. she bitched me out as well. i wont make myself look big and bad or anything. all she kept saying was fuck and i was like dude chill out. and whatnot. it was kinda funny actually. then on top of that my brother found my pack of cigarettes when i went to tim browns house. i guess they just happened to "fall" out of my purse. but whatever. i took them back. i found them in my moms purse. and she came in and shes like "give 'em to me". and i played it dumb; ofcorse. and i was like "im gunna give them to my friend so she can have them". OHHHH. tim brown burned me a cd with a bunch of cool bands. i only know a few though.
panic! at the disco. (my favorite band of all time.)
blood brothers.
and i dont know the others. i'll find out who they are. theyre really good though. :) thanks to tim. im going to his house after school; my mom doesnt know yet; but i dont care. we're going to tell the bus driver that im his cousin or something. lol. i dont really have anything else to say. and i dont feel like typing anymore.
i love my jordan michael chandler.

emilychandler.♥

http://www.fueledbyramen.com/panic/main/images/2.jpg

3 do you.♥ | wanna?


:: 2005 29 November :: 12.12 pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: kids.

stupid bitches talk shit.
well; today. didnt see stephen. well i did in the morning. and after 5th period. but i only saw him for a few seconds because i had to ask heather for a ride home because i dont wanna ride home with michelle. (i dont know if alison is riding home with her). so yeah. im kinda sad about that. i turned to go to heather and stephen screamed BYE EMILY. and i turned around with a depressed face; and was like bye. :\ but he had carissa to walk with him SO EVERYTHINGS OK. but the hallways were so busy; considering we were leaving the portables and it was raining. so everyone was running for some sort of shelter from the rain. and some of the weird kids were dancing around in it.. thats lame if you ask me. but thats besides the point. i was walking with tim brown today and i screamed out I FUCKING HATE ALISON. for no reason; well the only reason would be because i hate her. but i didnt know she was walking down that hallway. ive never seen her there before. but what was even funnier is that at that moment tim asked me if alison was near by and i looked and she was walking by it was so funny. i cant stress enough how much i hate her. i know we've gotten in our little pity fights.. but she went too far this time. and im always the one to give in. well its different now. i dont think she'll ask me to be friends with her. she can go get a boyfriend on her own this time. i wont be there to help her get some pity dick; fucking slut. i cant stop thinking about everything shes done.. and how bad she makes me look. standing next to her; guys wanna get in her pants. with me guys wanna get to know me better. but thats totally besides the point. from what i've heard from the guys shes done stuff with.. "she sucks; man. i didnt even cum". exact words from a few guys. its so funny. i hope she reads this and thinks about how much i know and how horrible and fucking stupid she was towards me. this is the most dumbest entry i've ever posted before. i sound stupid. i dont sound inteligente at all. and another thing; i feel stupid for wasting my time and writing this about her.. shes not worth the time. but since i have nothing else to do i'll keep talking. lol. all she can do is talk shit. and behind my back might i add. she wont say it to my face. its so funny. and im thinking about being friends with me and alisons mask enemy. alicia. i realized alicia didnt do anything wrong for me to hate her. alicia wasnt the one that had sex with alison's (her best friend of 5 years) boyfriend.. i mean we dont COMPLETLY blame alison.. but freedom of speech. she couldve stopped it. but she didnt. shes..... well..... a slut. i said it to her when she walked by before lunch. she deserves every single thing im giving to her. shes so self centered and she thinks everything is about her; when it isnt. and i know im going to lose alot of friends because of this.. but honestly. I DONT CARE. i did nothing wrong. and for her to go and tell everyone that she broke up with her boyfriend (tim brown) because I (MEE!!!) was ALL over him.. BULLSHIT. tim brown is my best friend in the whole world.. why in the world would i be ALL over him? and you know what's funny... alison knew tim for one night and she was ALL over him at homecoming. (that first night). i dont take back anything i've said; and will say. i dont regret it. she deserves every single thing she's going to get. and another funny thing is.. she doesnt do anything BUT talk shit behind my back.


Alison: go ahead and cry your eyes out. go get sympathy from your pathetic in your life kinda friends. because; you know how to do that.. and personally i wont do it anymore. im not going to give you sympathy because your parents got in an accident. im not going to give you sympathy because you lost one of the best friends youve ever had. i wont give you anything but pity. pity for thinking your better than me. you may be older; skinnier and well i was going to say smarter but we all know im smarter.. so yeah. anyways; but i have such a better everything besides looks compared to you. im not a slut. the most ive done is make out. i would never do anything with my bestfriends boyfriend. EVER. and i would never tell your secrets to other people. i would never let someone take my phone and text you and call you a bitch. i would never say "no wonder people call you a bitch" just because you wanted to know if i was alright. i would never ditch you for another guy. never have and now... i never will.

you fucking bitch; i hope you get backstabbed like you backstabbed me.
FUCK YOU.

wanna?


:: 2005 28 November :: 12.29 pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: kids.

fuck bitches.
i dont know if alison knows yet or not.. but we're NOT friends. ANYMORE. fuck her. she lies; makes herself look good; and wanting too much attention for my liking. SO FUCK HER. cassi might as well die now; i'm gunna fucking beat that bitch down.

WATCH IT.
kbye.

i love tim brown.

Read more..

wanna?


:: 2005 28 November :: 9.31 am
:: Mood: artistic

I LOVE SHELBER AND TIM BROWN.

TREMENDOUS TRIO; BITCHES.
you jealous.

wanna?


:: 2005 17 November :: 12.38 pm
:: Mood: moody
:: Music: nothing.

IM GEED UP FROM THE FEET UP, SON.
so. whats been going on hoes? i got my hair cut... again! Briana did it. its the sweetest. i need to hurry because i have 5 minutes left in here.. yeah sucks. so anyway, i like this new kid Stephen. he knows now because his cousin samantha told him.. but whatever. i like him alot. he has so many things ive been looking for in a guy. :) except for one thing.......... a girl friend. i dont know if he likes me.. next time i update ill put pictures of when he came over. well i think im gunna go...

i only have a few minutes.

PEACE OUT NIGGAS.

3 do you.♥ | wanna?


:: 2005 8 September :: 11.31 am
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: livermores.

you my dear are the one I fear tonight.

Jeez I haven't updated this piece of poop in a long time. Well; I'm in my aiding class and we're in the library today. SWEEEEET. Heck yess. Well; alot has happened since I last updated. It's been what? 3 months. Like whoa. WTFFFF. As you see in my picture up there I cut my hair; myself. Yes; I'm talented. No need to tell me. Thanks. Lol. Well lets see what guys I've been involved with since the last time I updated; Phil; Tim; Hunter; Josh; Kiel; Jake; Anthony; Levi; Scott and Tom. But; I'm still with Tom. So; yeah. Wow. Looking at all those guys; it's kind of embarassing. Jesus. Anyway; so I have some new bands I like. Well not new now. But yeah. Underoath; From Autumn To Ashes; From First To Last; Portland View; Startled By Monsters; Hands To The Forsaken; The Sleeping; In Real Time; A Horror Story; Split Mirror Image; and WHITE PICKET FENCE (mine). So; I'm learning guitar. People say I've changed; when really.. they have. So many people hate me; most Sophomores talk shit about me. Actually; most of everyone in this school. Which sucks. But; It doesn't really bother me because I have friends and I know who they are. People just hate me because I'm not like them. Which totally pisses me off. I'm not a prep; let's hate me. Well I'd be glad to let you know that I have my hardcore friends behind me with their heart; and aren't willing to give me up for the world. It's a good feeling knowing you have friends like that. Amandas moving. I really have no idea what I'm gunna do without her. She's my other half. I love her so much. :) OH.I'm moving to California. How sweet. Dude; it's gunna rock so hardcore. I can't wait. Only 2 more years to go. ♥ Anyway; I went to the hospital the other night because I was Severly Dehydrated. I got an IV. And a Cat Scan. I have Chronic Sinusitus. I need surgery. Which sucks. But; oh well. Oh I got my permit about a month ago. Drove in drivers ed. With my new friend Liam. I think he's hot. But; he ahs a girlfriend and I know her; so that wouldn't be good. Oh well. And I have Tom sooo.. yeah. Lol. Well I can't think of anything else to say.

Later.♥

Well I'll leave you with some pictures.
Read more..

3 do you.♥ | wanna?


:: 2005 25 May :: 7.10 am

well, exams will start in a matter of minutes. and i have a great deal of doubtfulness that i will fail this. :\ alright bye.

28 do you.♥ | wanna?


:: 2005 24 May :: 9.27 am
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: from first to last--emily.

:\
FROM FIRST TO LAST.

"Emily"

smiles and her laughter
its the only thing that ive been waiting for a time
regardless of our distance and our hope...grows greater
trapped by pretty eyes and letters for all time
...the only thing that ive been waiting for

i hope its something worth the waiting
cause its the only time that I ever feel real
thunder storms could never stop me
cause there's no one in the world like Emily

shes simple yet confusing
her sparkling eyes make me weak and my words they tremble
days seem like years in this month of December
the winter coldens me for i have yet to sleep
and never will i give up trying because you're everything to me

i hope its something worth the waiting
its the only time that i ever feel real
thunder storms could never stop me
cause theres no one in the world like Emily
there's no one in the world like Emily

p.s. wouldnt that be cool if someone wrote that for me...or even felt such ways about me..? hmm... that would be the most greatest feeling a girl could ever get.

45 do you.♥ | wanna?


:: 2005 23 May :: 8.22 am
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: country shit in saads.

poop.
well..i have a new love interest. his name is jeremy azinger ! i love that kid so much. hes awesome. :) my friend sir patrick ryan swazy george likes me..but i dont like him like that. he said he was kinda sad when i told him how i felt. but hes still really awesome. :) ill post pictures when i actually get on my computer. lol. ive been on it like once all week. brittanys keeping me busy :) we have to study for exams tonight and tomorrow and wednesday night. this is crazy. why do we have exams the last 4 days of school? 1. you cant concentrate. 2. we shouldve had exams last week so we could have fun this week. 3. we need to get together with friends..and have yearbook signing. i know a few people that are moving. which totally sucks. amanda, : \ im gunna miss her verrry much. but me and her will hang out over summer :)) well im gunna go do something..no idea what..but something lol. catch you later.



cant make this right
you see on my face
that im not gonna be alright
not tonight
you can read all my letters
but that wont mean things are fine
not this time
cause you gave away
all the secrets of you and i

47 do you.♥ | wanna?


:: 2005 20 May :: 8.20 am
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: nothing..at all.

poop.
bloodhound gang--three point one four


my last girlfriend didnt like me thought she might be
most likely a dyke she just didnt excite me
lefty? yeah but that was alright
she was hotter than the sun but she just wasnt that bright
my mistake she was more flaky than a leper colony
i think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company
ass like a donkey acting funky gave her i now shes a flunky
so my love for her died quicker than a batch of sea monkeys
early bird gets the worm spread your legs or spread the word
so what if im not the smartest peanut in the turd
im white which goes with everything but i can come in any color
&im looking for the kind of girl that reminds me of my mother
but its hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushy
&how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica with their pussies
like emí easy&hot&sweet like a rice krispie treat
gee you know what i really want in a girl? me

i need to find a new vagina
any kind of new vagina
its hard to rhyme a word like vagina
calvin klein? kind of north carolina

women are like dog doo hear me through dont interrupt
its just the older that they are the easier they get to pickup
id fill the generation gap clean the cobwebs from her rafters
old hens would rather put out than be put out to the pasture
no age just aint a gauge i like my girls like my cheese
preferably for me fat free american singles only
i want my next chick anorexic the winner is the thinner
wont have to take her skinny ass out to a fancy dinner
like sizzler she got a beef well chew the fat
if i forget to put the seat up i can put up with her crap
let her lash out&crack the whip but not in bed i dont play rough
no i cant be tied down with a girl that wants me tied up
just independent like nofx smart like janeane garafolo
shed use big words to make fun of me so that i would never know
bestow upon me all her wisdom of the dewey decimal system gee
you know what i really want in a girl? me

i need to find a new vagina
any kind of new vagina
its hard to rhyme a word like vagina
kevin klein? kind of south carolina

vagina vagina vagina vagina
vagina vagina vagina vagina

4 do you.♥ | wanna?


:: 2005 19 May :: 8.41 am
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: country shit.

i♥brittany marie.
well.. brittany slept over last night :) again. we had a grand ol time. we watched "White Noise" it kinda sucked. but oh well. my moma dukes is picking us up from school;taking us to britts;taking care of her mom;shade is getting us food;and then shades gunna take us to my house;brittany shall sleep over again. ive been having an awesome time while brittany has been over :) well.. i cant wait till after school. :) its gunna be effing awesome. :) anyway, jon texted me from his moms cell this morning in class. and we talked for a few. then he said he couldnt talk,and to write him a note and that he loves me. and i wrote him a note. saw him after 1st;gave it to him;i started walking away.. and i guess he wanted a hug and i didnt even notice. so when i went back to give him a hug hes like "whatver" and gave my 2 friends a hug. i was like fuck you then ya poop. i didnt say that but i wanted to. wow, i like him alot. i dont want to put hes like permenantly attached to my heart. its crazy. he could take my heart out of my chest throw it on the ground..watch it break;and i'd still love him. but when he takes my heart he gives it back in one piece. most of the time.he has no idea how much i like him. well..i dont know if he knows. but then again i like robin. : \ me&him are buds :) hes like "emily will you be my bud?" and im like "heck yess" this was yesterday on the phone :) it was cool.he makes me happy. :) golly. i hate this.poop. ok well, im gunna go now.
later.

2 do you.♥ | wanna?


:: 2005 18 May :: 8.21 am
:: Music: brittany.

poop.
hey guys. well.. ive been slammed with work in my computer class. Grah. they "hose" you as Hill would say.. at the end of the year. its sucks rank ass. well this weekend i hung out with brittany. we went to alicias party. Then brittany slept over on sunday. we went to school. nothing interesting happened monday..that i can think of right now. yesterday went to work. called robin. talked to him for a bit. then went to the doctors. for my 3--month check--up. i need my glasses i dontk now when my moms gunna get off her lazy ass and take me. anyway, after that i went to work. me&ben had to stay till freaking 9. then we had to go to walmart where i was gunna meet jon. but i didnt look for him. lol. me and ben got gas. then headed home. we blarred some sweet music. everyones tellign me and him to go out. and shit. and we're like "we're like family" what the crap. its none of anyones business about me &him. his ex--gf's like.. thats how we started as she laughed. hahahahaha. thats like so totally funny. hahahahaha. fucking blonde headed noisy ass noog. she needs to seriously shut it. anyway, so far today is going alright. me and alison almost got into a huge fight. thank god alicia started talking. i got new medicine yesterday. i took it this morning. i feel the same..
Side Effects: May Grow Penis.
hahahahaha. funny stuff. i really like *him* what a poop. jeez. grah. i dont know what else to say. im out.
later.

2 do you.♥ | wanna?


:: 2005 13 May :: 8.47 am
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: country poop.

that little ratty ass bitch.
yesterday was a crazy day.. i havent smoked in a long ass time. and yesterday ashleys like come on lets go, so im like sure why not. so we did and she showed me how to do this thing.. idk. it was weird. all i know is i kept doing it over and over and over again. and i couldnt walk. it was like i was drunk and high at the same time. i was laughing..and i was dizzy. and then all of a sudden i sat down on the ground in the middle of the hallway. just sat there for like 20 min. feeling like i was gunna throw up and heavy breathing. i was sweating so bad and it felt like there was 3497457 knives stabbing me. i was supposed to be in class. so finally i got up..still feeling like shit. taking deep breaths and ashley was holding hands with me.. i was too out of it to care. Shes like a sis so it dosent matter. but i had her spray me. and i went into class. i felt really weird. like i was gunna throw up. had the smell lingering on my clothes. my teacher kept glaring at me.. i fell asleep in class..in which i barely ever do. anyway, after 4th per. i saw ashley and we have 5th per. together so we went to smoke again.. but i didnt cuhz i still wasnt feeling good. this girl stopped and stared at us. and then ashley was done so we went back to class. as we were walking back, we hear "ladies" and we're turn around and this ladys like "i was just informed that you 2 were smoking" and we just stared at her and listened to what she was saying. shes like "why even bother at the end of the year? since it is the end i'll let you off, but dont do it again" and we're like "ok, thank you" and ashleys like.. if she wouldve done something i wouldve told her that you didnt do anything. we got back into class like 15 min. late. and ashley did all the talking. im horrible at talking to teachers cuhz i get an attitude. so she talked to her. and then i went on the rest of the day feeling like shit. guys, dont smoke. thats my story. the end.


i swear
if i could take your pain and frame it and hang it on my wall
maybe you would never have to hurt at all
im painting pictures in red and blue
a portrait bruised just like you
and now youre walking away

4 do you.♥ | wanna?


:: 2005 12 May :: 8.51 am
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: something corporate.

wow.. ive been really happy lately. i love it. im falling for jon all over again... i dont know if its right.. but its how i feel. i cant help it.

tonight we fly away so high
tonight we fly away
you know the moon is full and
i cant live without you

wanna?


:: 2005 11 May :: 8.22 am
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: hawthorne heights.

poop.
robin called me yesterday for the first time. i didnt tell him to or anything. :) i talked to him for like an hour. then i had to go to work. i was at work for like and hour then i called him and he wasnt home. :\ me and ben had a heart to heart. it was nice. he was gunna let me drive his car a ways home.. but i didnt feel like it. so poop. got home last night ... ate . my mom told me she saw billy,bryan, and alicia when she went to get the food. billys the one that has to talk to my mom about us hanging out this summer. cuhz hes in college. hes a sophomore now :) ive been having weird dreams about him and other people lately. its weird. and i had a dream about a bunch of weird stuff last night.. and its all been happening so far today.. im like whoaaa. thats freaky as a bit. i let jon use my phone yesterday starting in 4th per. and he would give it back after 6th per. i gave it to him so we could text. :) well after 6th per. hes like ill give it back to you at the end of 7th. so im like ok. so i used brittanys phone to talk to him. then after 7th i couldnt find him. so i used alisons phone to call him and hes like im in overflow. im like WTF?! im on the bus. and hes like ill give it back tomorrow. im like w/e. so he better have it.. or i swear to god. its dead i bet. cant wait to see the lovely pictures he took with it. lol. oh well.. i love that kid.. so it dosent matter. well... i have nothing else to say at the moment. catch you guys later.

Read more..

2 do you.♥ | wanna?


:: 2005 10 May :: 8.41 am
:: Mood: angry
:: Music: got a single silver bullet shot right through my heart... to prove i cant survive without you.

poop.
i was in a great mood this morning.. cuhz me and alison listened to this mix CD on the bus.. :) and we were happy and jumping around and yeah. but then i got into computer and britt said something and i didnt get mad at her... it made me think. i dont know. maybe i shouldnt take it seriously.. but if thats what she thinks then maybe shes right. now im in a poopy mood. :\ britt i know your going to read this. dont be mad and dont feel bad about what you said.. cuhz hey you're probably right.. and i hate for you to be right on something such as this.. but hey truth hurts. and i'll get over it. thanks for the honesty though. :) i love you very much. well anyways, this bitch decides to take me and alisons seat this morning on the bus.. im like WTF ?! little bitch. i mean if she didnt talk shit to robin.. then i wouldnt really care.. but shes deffinetly not on my list of cool kids. i dont even know why she sits where we do. we all talk shit about her and her friend.. so whats the point ? if your bus talks shit about you... LEAVE GODDAMNIT ! she gets put to shame.. i tell you what . :) but its really funny. anyway, im having an alright day.. im not wearing a shirt under my jacket.. and alicia and alex said that they're going to pull the zipper down before the end of the day.. so im trying to get a shirt lol . oh well. oh and dont ask why i didnt wear a shirt lol. i felt like being free....? lol. well im gunna go. gotta read britts journal :)
catch you guys later.

Read more..

ill breathe you in
i won't let you down
i won't hold your back
i won't make a sound
i know what scared you the most
being alone
just like them
being alive
feeling so... dead
at least you'll have my... heart
you know you shine so bright





2 do you.♥ | wanna?


:: 2005 9 May :: 8.11 am
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: the fan. its this awesome band... it goes wooooosh.

im the happiest ive ever been. :)
well guys... my weekend was pretty cool. got off of work at 5. called anysia... went to her house. then went to some play ; her sister was in. it was horrible. but me,anysias mom, and anysia made it so fucking funny. it was awesome. people thought we were literally crazy. it was funny. :) then her mom dropped us off at my house. we got dressed up... dresses panty hose,make up, hair, and everything.. wanna know why? we dont know. just some random thing. thats my middle name.. :) anyways, saturday didnt get my hair done cuhz my mom is gay. hung out with anysia. went to target got my mom some pretty random/awesome mothers day presents . :) dropped anysia off. went home. i dont remember what i did. sunday.. went out for brunch at some super fancy place. had to wear a dress. grrrr. with makeup,high heels,hair,blah blah. My feet hurt so bad. After that. went to my grandparents house. tanned for a bit, then went on the computer.. met this really awesome kid matt. hes really hott.. and hes awesome ! i love that kid. :) we talked about alot . we have ALOT in common. we're saving up money to see eachother... but he lives in the same town that i have family in so i can just visit them. :) that'd be cool. he likes me alot. and i like him. we're cool. and we're both going to the vans warped tour ! :))) soo... im in computer now.. and its really gay. he thinks he's teaching us stuff... we're not even paying attention and we'll forget by tomorrow . lol . oh well. well im gunna go. catch you guys later.

shake down you make me break for goodness sake
i think im on the edge of something new with you
shout out dont drown the sound ill drown you out
youll never scream so loud as i want to scream with you

*matt*

wanna?


:: 2005 6 May :: 8.16 am
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: something corporate.

hey now the straw dogs out in the street, she said,hey now,theres chemicals in the clouds.theyre calling all the police.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

well im going to be working on my journal . :) cuhz i have a hole 40 minutes to work on it . :) sweeet . i got my dress . its really hott . i love it . i'll post pictures on monday . i got a dress,black strapless bra, and a pair of heels for under $4o . im such a cool kid ... :) well im going to my best friend alicias party next saturday :) me&brittany are going together :) if shes allowed..
later

p.s. does anyone know how to put a picture for the background ?! i need help.. it would be greatly appreciated . :)

you dont do it on purpose
but you make me shake
now ill count the hours
till you wake
with your babies breath
breathe symphonies
come on sweet catastrophe

2 do you.♥ | wanna?


:: 2005 5 May :: 8.34 am
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: taking back sunday.

i love alison with all my heart.
the pictures i promised. you may be suprised but hey.. we had fun.
me+alison=bestfriendsforever. i mean it.

best friend means ; best friends means ; i made lots of plans.. based on these mistakes .

Read more..

wanna?


:: 2005 4 May :: 8.15 am
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: something corporate in my head.

niko--boh--biko . hey em .
well... went to work last night.. we had a few pickups and deliveries . we got severe thunderstorm warnings . i was kinda scared .. cuhz ben had to take me home and theres been alot of freaky accidents lately . : \ i got home in one piece . thank god . went in my room ; went online on my phone . talked to bryce . suprisingly i didnt listen to music .. weird eh` ? i know . my mom came in and took my phone.. cuhz it was past cerfew on my phone .. gay ? YES !! she got mad becuhz my dad,bro,sis,and mom went out to get a mothers day present for my mom.. and i couldnt go on saturday... my dad asked if i wanted to go shopping for my mom last saturday and i said i couldnt i had to go get alicias hair done for prom with her.. and hes like oh you dont care about your mom blah blah . so monday i called my grampa and i asked him if he could take me to get my mom an old metalica CD . and he said yeah.. and somehow my mom found out . and she called me bitching on how i couldve gone on saturday but i was too busy with my friends . WTF ?! if they wouldve told me a week in advance maybe i couldve gone . but i have no regrets on not going .. i had fun watching my best friend get her hair done for her first prom . and watch her be nervous . it was great . nothing like being there for your best friend before prom . both my best friends went to prom . alison went to ft.myers prom . and alicia went to ours (mariner) . oh well.. my dad wants me to go saturday afternoon to get a dress for me and my sis . "no black" he says. WTF ?! he thinks im some kind of goth .. im so not . i wanted a black dress .. but black is more elegant . i like it . but whatever . i'll get the dress i want . anyways , i have to get a dress becuhz we're going out to dinner at a "fancy" restaraunt for mothers day with my whole family.. and my dads gunna get me,my mom,bro, and himself a ticket to some monster truck thing , i thought it would be cool . theres going to be a bunch of rednecks there . i know a few . maybe they'll be there . idk . my dads like "im only buying 4 tickets" blah blah "you cant bring any friends" psh screw that . i wanna bring a friend lol . well.. this weekend everyones asking me to do something with them . jon,gabe,anysia,eryn,alison,my dad. what the heck ? hmm i have to make time for all them . cuhz i wanna hang out with all of them . maybe everyone could get together and hang out one night... hmm ... sounds good . me and my dad get to go get dresses . what fun . i cant wait . hes either going to make me get a sleezy dress or get one that has like short sleeves . hahaha . that'd be funny . but i have to look "nice" . blah . whatver . hmm... i dont think i have anything else to say... i need a boyfriend... someone that i can trust.. i want a long ass relationship . pictures will be posted tomorrow or friday . ok im done .

but i love the way youd roll excuses off the tip of your tongue as i slowly fall apart

6 do you.♥ | wanna?


:: 2005 3 May :: 8.51 am
:: Mood: devious
:: Music: something corporate in my head.

poop.
guys guys !! i just finished a shit load of work we had to do in my computer class. i only have like 5 minutes to update.. I GOT A NEW SOMETHING CORPORATE CD !!! *leaving through the window* its fucking awesome. go buy it !!
later.

you dont do it on purpose but you make me shake now i count the hours til you wake with your babies breath breathe symphonies come on sweet catastrophe maybe this time i can follow through i can feel complete stop paying dues stop the rain from falling keep my oceans calm this time I know nothings wrong

2 do you.♥ | wanna?


:: 2005 2 May :: 8.14 am
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: if you see jordan.

i dont care if you die your hair youll always be a little red head bitch .
yo guys . my weekend was pretty sweet . fridya night got outta work at like 8. :) alicia called me at 10:30 and said she could come pick me up to sleep over her house so i could go with her to get her hair done for prom the next morning . she came and picked me up . went to her house . she put her dress on . she look so awesome/gorgeous/hot/super . god .. she looked sweet . she showed me her shoes . there awesome . talked to billy while he was drunk . wow that kid makes no sense . went to sleep . woke up at like 9 . left at 9:30 . stopped at the bank and flower shop to get the boot something for wes (her prom date) . then we went to the hair place . alicia was getting her hair done so me , her sister titi (thersea) , and her sisters friend lisa went to publix and got a shit load of stuff . brought it back . ate . took pictures . then went back home . mom picked me up . went home and then alison came over . haha had the best time ive ever had . we took 4325907345 pictures . they're awesome . i'll put them on her tomorrow . then she had to leave sunday morning at like 7 cuhz she had to work . : \ went back to sleep . woke up at 12:30 . did my chores . went on the computer for 43957435 hours . talked to gabe :) bryce :) nate :) alison :) billy >:O . grah im so mad at him . UGH ! hmm.. well heres some pictures that i can show you from yesterday . they're me... sorry.
later

me,alicia,alex, and brittanys story we made.

A boy went pee. He missed the toilet though and got pee all over the person next to him. The they decided to climb a tree, the girl fell off and farted. It smelled. It smelled like a dumpster in the summer. Then they wanted to take a bubble bath with the cookie monster, and then they banged. They banged eachothers brains out until the mans penis came off. And the cookie monster thought the penis was a cookie and ate it. He said it was yummy, then they wanted to take pictures. Kyle--Boh--Byle, came and they went to the park to chase the ducks. Their hair was green and they sang "i like green eggs and ham". The penguins made love like it was the first time. But it wasnt the first time, just the first time in a pool. Potatoes are cool cause penguins eat them.

the bell rang and we didnt finish it sadly... : \ but what we have is AWESOME !! hope you guys like it . :)

Read more..
sorry , these are big and my hair looks like shit . :)

wanna?


:: 2005 28 April :: 8.42 am
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: taking back sunday.

yo . so i have a new liking . his el nameo is robin . im not quite sure if i like him yet .. but im pretty sure i do . well i finally got my period lol . i was a month and a half late . i know you guys wanted to know that lol . hmmm .. went to work on tuesday even though i didnt go to school . didnt bring enough tampons then i had the driver ... my friend dan go get me some . i was like "look for the purple box" he came back .. he brought the purple box .. but with the PURPLE tampons . those things are huge as a mo fo ' . ben took me home . listened to smile empty soul on the way home . :) it was raining.. i was sick . and depressed . ben made me feel better . he always makes me laugh . :) got home . went to sleep . woke up at 7:30 a.m. and my mom was about to take my bro to school . and im like "where are you going?" and shes like "taking your brother to school; i tried waking you up for school but you didnt budge and you were coughing all night . and you were up for a few hours in the middle of the night so i let you sleep." and im like "mmk" . and shes like i dont think you should go to school . she left . i got ready for school . so i could go see alicia and alison . got to school . alison IM's me on my phone ... saying that she stayed home with a cold . then i remembered she asked me for gum and i gave her half that was in my mouth . thats how she got sick . we were'nt thinking . :\ so i got my best friend sick . i felt like poop . she didnt come to school today either . talked to billy last night . talking about alison,alicia,me,and him . hes taking the 3 of us to get birth control when he comes down when hes done with college for this year . which is next week . i cant wait ! im getting my tounge pierced pretty soon . no im not allowed ... my friend is going to do it . but i know im going to get caught becuhz i yell alot and my mom will notice .. i dont know what she would do . when she saw that i pierced my belly button .. shes like "whats that?" and im like "are you serious, you know what it is." shes like take it out . so i did . blah blah . so yeah ... alisons coming with me cuhz im kinda scared .. :\ lol . saturday hopefully me and britt are gunna hang out . :) we'll go to her house .. invite a few people over then get drunk .. cuhz her moms going somewhere and wont be home until sunday night ... and her dads in michigan . it'll be pretty awesome if everything works out :) cant wait . im anticipating so many things . billy coming.hanging out with britt.alison coming back to school.getting my tounge pierced.getting a car.getting my permit.vans warped tour.summer.everything. im doing pretty well . well im gunna go so britt can read all this and she can comment . :)
later kids ♥

youve got this silly way of keeping me on the edge of my seat

wanna?


:: 2005 25 April :: 8.30 am
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: ruthless.

but if i built you a city... would you let me? would you tear it down ?
you're waving goodbye, well atleast youre having fun

Read more..

4 do you.♥ | wanna?

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