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:: 2004 9 July :: 11.06 am
:: Mood: just woke up yet happy
:: Music: sugarcult - memory but i can hear aqueous transmisson by incubus coming from my room ha

down the strip II
again, tears were trickiling down my cheeks. i need to escape from the burdens that were weighing on my soul once again.

i had no one to call.

for you became the burden that made it hard for me to breathe.

after the last excursion down the strip.
after the last sunset we watched.
after the last kiss under the palm trees as rain seeped through the shimmering palms after the skys broke open after the sun went down.
after the last innocent goodbye peck from you on the cheek as i opened up your rusty car door and walked, dazed through the rain to my front door.

after all that
something about you changed.

our phone calls were curt.

when we met up, a certain warmth was gone and it was cold like a winter night.

i could tell by your eyes that something had changed.

now i dont know who to turn to.

i miss hearing that bad muffler of yours.
i miss us singing along to old disco songs as we charged down the strip.
i miss the smell of the ocean and your cologne as it mixed and made this scent that could make me melt.
i miss my best friend.
i miss you.

so today, with tears now hitting the ground and evaporating as soon as they fell.

all i know is that i need to get down to the strip before i self combust.

only one way. the el camino.

i frantically searched through our junk drawer for the keys to the beast.

finally i pulled out the key ring with my ticket to freedom and a big orange cactus attached to it.

i ran to the side of those house, keys and red cap on my head.

it took a couple tries to get the beast started. after about 6 times the beast was up and kicking.

i tried rolling down the drivers window but it was jammed and wouldnt budge as hard as i tried rolling it down and how much i cursed at it.

at the next red light, i stetched over to the passengers side and tried to get the window down. it only rolled down an inch and stubbornly stayed that way.

i let out a long sad and annoyed sigh and made my way into the 7-11.

to add on to the greatness of that day, the slurpee machine was broken. no cherry/blueberry mix for me.

there was only one more thing that could make me feel better.

okay two, but you never answer my calls anymore.

so i headed on the road to get to the strip. of course i got stuck at the longest light in town. i remembered how we both used to sit at the light just counting down til when it would turn green and the strip would be ours once again. i would always ask, 'why dont you just run it." and you would always say in your mellow gravelly voice, 'good things come to those who wait." and once our debate on the red light was over, the light changed and we were off to the strip.

green light finally poured through the beast and i jetted down the strip.

i found our spot.

i quickly turned off the the beast but left the old disco station blaring.

i ran to the spot and sat under the palm trees.

i crossed my legs and crossed my arms and sat in this little ball.
as my tears soaked my arm as i hid my face there.
i sat there and cried as 'she's a brick house' played from my car and wind rushed through the palm fronds above me.

my tears were suddenly stopped when i felt something cold on my arm.

i looked at my arm to see a slurpee pushed against it.

glancing up to meet your eyes that looked like the sea when a storm was rolling through. except i could see tears in that sea.

andie andie oxenfree***

5 changed the world | dream

:: 2004 6 July :: 8.47 pm
:: Mood: wonderful :)
:: Music: burning up - madonna

little things ya may not know..
i love things with hibiscuses on them.
(journal doesnt hit any does it?)
i love things with black and white checkers on them.
if i could find something black and white checkered with a hibiscus on it then i would be a happy camper.
i am asking and asking for a drumset for christmas.
and asking and asking for an american bulldog for my birthday.
i go to get my permit in 9 days.
i want a pair of aviator sunglasses.
if i moved to daytona beach i would totally buy a mint green or tan and orange vespa or a 74 vw thing.
if i ever get really rich and build a house, i will have a room just for me to paint in and the floors will become an art cause there will be so much paint on them.
i love 80s music.
i love my old madonna tape from 1983 that i found yesterday.
i love to wear clothes that dont really match but actually do.
i love bangs.
i hate when they grow out and get all in your face.
i have been told that i dress like a beach bum.
i didnt take is as a bad thing.
if i had tons of moolah to spent i would spend it on roxy and billabong shtuff from surf shops.
i dont know what i wanna be when i grow up.
i always go back and check to see if i locked the front door when i leave to go somewhere.always.
i love to travel.
ireland is very high on my places to travel to.
i cant type with my watch and hairtie on my wrist or my ring on my finger.
i cant stand necklaces that are too big and plummet down your neck so i take all the beaded ones i get and cut them to make them fit around my neck.
i always flip-flips.always.
excpet when i have practice.
i love lacrosse.
i am not too fond of the ball though.
i love taking pictures.
i love art.
i love love music.
it should be a crime to make a remix of pink floyd's 'another brick in the wall.'
if this was true then the music people at express would be in jail right now.
lindsay and i have thought of jumping the miracle mascot.
'what are you two in here for? i killed a man with just a straw.'
"we jumped the miracle mascot."
i am constantly drumming on things.
i am pretty unlucky.
i am definitely clumsy.
my neighbors probably hate me for playing my music to loud.
not my fault i love music.
i am going to go eat a healthy dinner of a slim jim and a hi-c.
yum yum

andie andie oxenfree***


:: 2004 6 July :: 10.53 am
:: Mood: bwuahahah
:: Music: down - 311

the plan
ive been living out of a suitcase for days
trying to see the good in things but i cant see through the haze
not understanding why they still ask what my problem is
instead of being in my life she chose his
everyone knows of the problem that larks
on the cruise, we are gonna throw him overboard and feed him to the sharks

andie andie oxenfree***


:: 2004 24 June :: 2.51 pm
:: Mood: thinkin..
:: Music: hero - foo fighters

there goes my hero...
hm hm hm.
i was listenin to this song and i wondered who is my hero..
well actually i dont know at the moment.
but who do the kids of this generation have to look up to, other then at their parents?
who do we lucky kiddies have?
britney spears?...thats just peachy
i just dont know.
where are the neil armstrongs of this generation?
where are the respected presidents where your dad sits and reads the newspaper and he say, "that there kids, is a good president."?
where are our heroes?
in new york city?
yes i believe they are heroes, not just the nypd and fdny but all of the policemen and firefighters who put their whole lives on the line for us.
i think my hero is my dog clancey
who is still at the pet store just beggin for me to come and buy him.
maybe soon clancey, i will be your hero and buy you..
one day.

andie andie oxenfree***

1 changed the world | dream

:: 2004 24 June :: 1.13 pm
:: Mood: wondering...
:: Music: sick sad little world - incubus

it's the end of the world as we know it
you know we are all doomed when Pepto Bismol has it's own little dance.

andie andie oxenfree***


:: 2004 23 June :: 2.24 am
:: Mood: happy :D
:: Music: by the way - rhcp

the tee ideas from ydeeps & anir
(aka myslef and rina)
this is from the sleep deprived brains of ours.

in a 70s fontish thing..
Andie's Rollerdisco
-Afros Required
-Dancing Skills Optional
and it will have a picture of a roller skate on it and a disco ball
and on the back it will have a guy with an afro and 70s clothes pointing at you and the caption will read "only YOU can be the life of the party"

Front: Got Buffalo Wings?
back : a drawing of a buffalo flying away

Front: Altoids: dont let them make ya kill a man in reno for them

there is a little picture of a girl with a stick and the caption will say "youre lucky your behind the glass wall"

a picture of a squirrel on the front, with the caption of "1-666-evil-squirrles"

picture of a frigde with the little marks that means its moving and the caption will say "tv dinner avalanche ahead coutesy of the freezer ghost"

a picture of a pinecone with the caption of "smell that cinnamon christmas. " on the back: "conspiracy?"

ALL-(noun) 1. a substance used to clean clothes. 2. an evil conspiracy-maker. 3. arch-nemisis of the green knight.

on the front is a poorly drawn picture of a girl with a frown and tears and a broken heart and it will say love is a... and on the back it will list
gift...this will be crossed out
wondorous thing...crossed out
bitch....crossed out
pain in the ass....crossed out
hassle....crossed out
salami sanwich with pickles...crossed out
4 letter word...crossed out
way of life...crossed out

we should make a shirt that says a little dab will do ya

or have a picture of a wolf howling at the moon "the terror of our elementary"

i love dash

i love mookie

i love the SG
well that is it for now
who knows whatever crazy psycho things may be created by us in the late night?
cause i sure dont.

Good good bye, lovely time
Good good bye, tinsel shine
Good good bye, I'll be fine
Good good bye, good good night
-jimmy eat world

andie andie oxenfree***

1 changed the world | dream

:: 2004 12 June :: 5.36 pm
:: Mood: happy...accomplished
:: Music: foo fighters - everlong

welcome to cattlesburg: a beautiful fall
I looked up and quickly pulled the little green seaweed demon out of my hair. "surfing troubles," I explained as I threw it to the ground. "ah, I see. I hope you and your family are okay. we're really sorry about," he looked at the two vehicles,” all of this." I touched the gash on my forehead and looked at the blood on my fingers. "yeah," I paused for a moment, "we are fine." he looked at the cut on my forehead, "you really need to get that checked out when the ambulance comes 'cause a pretty girl like you shouldn’t have a big scar on her forehead like that." I smiled at the remark as the sun glinted through his brown messily spiked hair and hit his forest green eyes that made them sparkle.

I heard loud sirens and looked over at the ambulance that was pulling over to the side of the road where we were. "there's my cue. nice meeting ya, dash. bye," I said as I wiped my hair out of my eyes. "yes, nice meeting you too...I never got your name," he said as he glanced over at the paramedics talking to his mom and mine. my brain was on an overactive spasm called 'dash' so it took me a couple of seconds to respond, "it's Kieran." he smiled a magnificent grin, "well Kieran, I hope that the cut on your head gets well and that you are okay. bye." I walked to the ambulance smiling probably the goofiest, happiest smile ever.

when most people go to the beach they get a nice tan or an annoying sunburn but not me! I go to the beach and end up coming home with a concussion and 10 stitches on my forehead. I was rushed to the hospital so they could stitch me up, away from the scene of the accident, and away from dash.

flash forward to now shall we? I never saw dash since then. my mom's black excursion was totaled from all the damage from the accident. now she drives a new shiny red mini cooper.

charley came over and we walked over to the pier. mookie was working at the concession stand. we shuffled through the crowd and finally made it to the stand. "hello, how may I help you?" mookie joked as he asked in a monotone robot voice. "'ello mate, we will have our usual please," charley ordered in an Australian accent for some reason. mookie played along, "sorry girls, no shrimp on the barbie but here are your drinks."

while we paid I looked at mookie's tacky yellow and orange striped triangular paper hat. think of the hats from the '50s at the malt shops. "nice hat, mook," I said as I received my change back. charley was taking a sip of her sprite and coke concoction, "I agree. very chic, you should wear it around more often." mookie laughed, "hmm, we'll see." I noticed the line that was starting to form behind us, "Mr. tacky hat mookie, how long till you're off?"

mookie glanced over at the hot dog shaped clock on the wall behind him, "give me about 15 more minutes." we nodded and walked over to the light blue benches. charley and I talked and finished our drinks while we waited for the mookster. finally mook came out of the backdoor, tacky hat free. "where do you guys wanna go first?" he asked as he looked at his watch. charley looked at me, I looked back at her, we both shrugged our shoulders.

the three of us just started walking down the pier. mookie and I were talking about the major sound difference between records and cd’s when we were interrupted by charley going, "oh no, there's jessica harcof." I looked over by the sand art stand and said, "crap." jessica has been hating me which seems like forever. I think even maybe since elementary school. I cant really remember what I did to her but she sure does.

quickly I glanced over at this odd looking tourist who had a stuffed animal dog the size of a chair on his shoulders. as I looked at "it" I thought maybe she wouldn’t see me. "Kieran Roberts! who do we have here? the ever miss popular Kieran Roberts with her two sidekicks, mookie Rockland and charley Stevens," she did a fake gasp and put on a valley girl voice, "like oh my gosh what a surprise!" I shook my head, "cut the crap jessica. what do you want?" she smiled a grin that spelled trouble, "oh nothing, I heard you met dash. sta--" I sighed and interrupted her, "yeah? so..." and we walked past her.

something funny about jessica harcof is that she never picks on mookie. yeah, she gives charley and I a hard time but never to mookie. perhaps she thinks his parents are witches or somethin like that. charley, mookie, and I walked through the herds of people. finally we made it to the himilaya., said hi to Corey who was running it, and got on. mookie had to sit on the outside and got squished by charley and I. it was funny, the squishers (charley and I) couldn’t stop laughing to save our lives. we rode some more rides and decided to leave.

us three amigos walked down the pier to my casa. an elephant ear in my right hand and a stuffed orange star that mookie had won for me in the left. charley had cotton candy and mookie had a pair of humongous lime green sunglasses on. we talked and laughed the whole way. in that moment life was perfect.

Sunday came and went. mookie and I headed to the beach. charley had to work at her parent's hotel, she is a clerk at the front office. after basting in the sun for a couple of hours we headed back to mookie's parents' record shop. we decided to prank call ms. charley.

mookie spoke in to the phone in a somewhat deeper voice, "hello? is this the sunshine suites?" charley responded, "yes, it is. how may I help you?" mookie took a breath, "I’d like to book a room for three." plainly charley spoke, "okay, may I have the guest's names, please?" mookie thought for a moment, "Freddie mercury," he paused. charley was in work mode and didn’t catch the name, "and who else?" mookie smiled, "and Kieran Roberts and mookie Rockland." it took charley a moment, "hey! you two jerks!" all three of us laughed till we heard her father yelling in the background. she whispered quickly, "I gotta go. meet you guys at 8."

at eight we all met at the rusty wave. the cozy, yet small, restaurant that faced the pacific was full of people. we all looked at each other, the words 'tourist season' lighting up in all our eyes like three lemons on a slot machine in Vegas. we ordered our food then took it outside. why be inside walls swarmed with elbows and sunburned arms with madness hanging in the air while the serene beautiful beach beckons to you its serene and wondrous beauty? we must have sat out there in the sand for about two hours. just talking and crazy dancing under the full moon every now and then.

the next day, Monday, my alarm went off at 6 a.m. every time I heard the piercing shrill of the alarm went off I thought of how wonderful it would be to watch the little annoyance hit the wall and break in to thousands of tiny pieces. eventually I rolled out of bed and shuffled in my blue slippers downstairs to grab some breakfast. james was still sleeping and Emily was sitting at the dining room table putting on her mascara with every other bite of her lucky charms. I ran around the house, picking up a shirt here, shoe there, and a belt under the stairs. I was brushing my teeth with one hand while I brushed my hair with the other.

when I was finally all ready to go, I said bye to my mom, grabbed my stuff and sprinted out to the mailbox where mookie was waiting. out of breath from my mad dash ,"hey mook." he laughed, "good mornin'. alarm clock troubles again?” I smiled, shaking my head, "of course." we started walking towards the bus stop as I was putting my antique chandelier earrings on. mookie nodded to a palm tree that was in front of a house, "ah palm trees, I would gladly trade some of those for a couple of oak trees. love ya California but I want a real fall." I glanced at the towering palm while squinting my eyes as the sun was starting to rise, "yeah, can you imagine raking up a bunch of beautiful auburn, burnt orange, and golden leaves then diving in as if it were a swimming pool?" mook smiled, "can't imagine it happening here but it would be awesome. I can rake up some palm fronds for you to dive in to if you want." I let out a small chuckle while I rolled my eyes and shook my head 'no', "thanks mook but I’ll pass."

we got closer to the bus stop and mookie hollered "YO CHARLEY!" mookie and charley always say yo to each other. I think yell at the top of their lungs yo to each other is more like it. never hi or hey or hello or hola or aloha or you see where I am going with this... it's even funnier when they yell it down the halls at school. charley was sitting on the faded lavender bench. mookie and I got closer to find out that she just wasn’t sitting there, she was sleeping. I gave mookie a 'what to do' look then I poked her in the arm. mookie leaned down and had his mouth by her ear as he was about to tell her a secret and then yelled "YO CHARLEY! THE BUS IS COMING!" charley jumped about 3 feet up in the air. yup, she is definitely awake now. who wouldn’t after you had your eardrum busted by mookie's gravelly voice yelling in your ear? the rickety old bus ambled up the street and charley, mookie and I slowly got on. knowing there was no turning back now, we were going to school.

the bus pulled up to the dreaded c.h.s. I grimaced as I glanced at the school and the numerous, different, notorious cliques that were standing out front by the statue of the bull for we were the cattlesburg chargers. we slowly got up and walked to the front of the bus. I am not exaggerating by slow...snails could of beaten us. "Rockland! Stevens! Roberts! hurry up! I’m going gray up here waiting for you guys!'' we walked a little faster. mookie and charley were already off the bus, I passed our crabby bus driver Mr. Arnold and muttered, "you already are gray." as I stepped off the last step, I faintly head him say, "yea...going grey..from you."

being as today was the first day back from the summer break we all got out our schedules. "hey! we all have lunch and 1st class together," yelled charley over the banter of everyone else in the crowded hallway. We all laughed as we spotted out the lost freshman as we walked to our first class. chemistry, what fun. when we got to a less crowded part of the hall mookie said to me, "Kieran, I’m a little worried about having this class with you. I know that sooner or later you are going to blow something up during a lab in this class." "since when did you become a fortune teller, mook? I will just always have to be your lab partner then." I said as we walked through the door into the class. we all sat in the second to the last table in the back. the bell rang, officially ending summer.

our teacher, ms. erlin, introduced herself. I heard the classroom door open and close. I was way too busy doodling a picture on my picture on my binder to look and see who just entered in the room. it was a drawing of me surfing and it was pretty good until charley whacked me in the shoulder, "Kieran!" I quickly looked at charley, angry that there was a big line through my face on the picture. she pointed to the left of me at the empty table and mouthed, "look" and there sat the still gorgeous dash.

I mouthed "oh my god" to charley then tapped him on the shoulder. "dash? hey its Kieran. do you remember me? from the car accident in June." he looked at me for a second with a look that said 'I’m racking my brain' then he smiled, "heeeey! glad to see the gash on your head is all better." I laughed and was in the middle of asking to see his schedule when ms. erlin cleared her throat really loudly and shot a glance at me. a "death if you speak again" glance. I rolled my eyes.

charley passed me some papers but before I passed them on to dash I quickly scribbled down on the top sheet: 'dash, 767-5333 call me tonight, Kieran." I passed them on to him then the bell rang. he looked at me, said bye, and we went in our separate ways to second class.

at the end of the day before we got on the bus, charley, mookie, and I were walking towards my dangerous locker. on the way we saw jessica harcof busy talking to some guy at their locker. the hall was pretty crammed so I couldn’t see who but I figured that it was coral and jessica didn’t see me. we were almost past her. the halls cleared up at just perfect timing for jessica to turn around and spot us. after she turned around, the guy she was conversing with turned around too. revealing the face of Mr. dash cartle.

I guess jessica saw me looking because I glanced over at her and she gave me the evil eye. I shrugged off her stare and started walking towards dash. "hey!" I yelled over to him. he quickly looked over at jessica, looked back at me, smiled, then said, "thanks for that biology paper." I was still walking towards him. in the middle of the hall, donning my dash grin, jessica stuck her leg out.

I tripped and fell to the ground. the remaining people in the hall, including jessica, laughed. I looked over to mook and charley. giving them a look that said, "whoa! did that just really happen?" their eyes responding, "yup, you should have seen it. you will be ok though." dash outstretched his hand to me. I grabbed it and got up ass I muttered, ''my that was a beautiful fall. thanks jess!" she gave me a nasty snarl before she turned and walked away. when our hands were apart, dash said, "gotta get going, later." after he left I noticed the small folded up note in the palm of my hand.

I quickly yet un-noticeably put it in the back pocket of my jeans. we then went to my locker, got my books without a shower of books landing on us from my locker, then headed to the bus. Mr. Arnold made us sit in the front seats. we got off the bus, said our goodbyes and grumbled a bit over how much homework we had already before we set off for our own houses. the second I got to our gate, I reached into my pocket. I ripped the note open faster then a starved person rips open a bag of Doritos. I looked at his note, which I could tell he tried to write really neat on even though I kind of had to tilt it to the left a little to read it. 'Kieran, practice ends at 6, Dash.'

I smiled at it then walked in to my house. dazed, I turned on a c.d. and sat on the loveseat. Chevy came over and jumped on my lap. I let out an 'oomph!' as the 40 pound dog bounced on my bladder. there were only a few lights on. no one was home but me. I sat there thinking for a bit, petting Chevy and being fully absorbed by the music that was seeping through my soul.

the silence was broken when I heard the telephone ringing in the kitchen. I gently shoved the fat lug Chevy off my lap and on to the couch and sprinted to the kitchen. it was still ringing as I placed my hand on the phone.

I was out of breath from running to it. I relaxed for a second, caught my breath, and answered the phone, "hello?" there was no sound coming from the other end of the line for a second. finally a voice came from the receiver, "hey, is this Kieran? it's your dad."

andie andie oxenfree***

2 changed the world | dream

:: 2004 10 June :: 11.15 pm
:: Mood: :)
:: Music: hate to say i told you so - the hives

i found this today and it made me chuckle about what a geek i am
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------walking through a deserted house humming some 80s song that was just on the radio.."there is always something there to remind me" well thats the song...right now i just feel like writing. when this writing spell comes over me i just write about nothing. if i ever become a writer im sure insomniac doctors will prescribe it to their patients cause it will be so boring that everyone will fall asleep while they are reading it. terri said that tomorrow everyone is sleeping in but i dont think that is really going to happen because her chitlins wake up at like the crack of dawn and like to play this lovely game called "Let's Wake Andrea Up." well, i hate that game. i am not tired at all...i took a nap today which is quite odd for me. so right now i feel like running around the block. or maybe it's all the sugar in the altoids tangerine sours that i have been inhaling for most of the day. anyways i am just not tired. the scariest thing happened yesterday, terri went to have her a/c checked at this one auto shop and the mechanic never closed her hood all the way. so we (terri, rachael, ryan, and i) were driving down the road going about 45 mph and all of a sudden the hood flew up. that is the second time that i have been in terri's truck and the hood flew up. there is a moth flying around in here. a couple of nights ago there was a huge moth lying around terri's back porch and terri and ryn were just standing there watching it. ew. speaking of bugs, last week when it was non-stop raining, these cricket things kept coming into the computer room where i was. well at least i think they were crickety things, they looked like a cricket but they didnt jump and their heads were huge. anyways i hate squishing bugs so i vaccumed one up. so i was in here on the computer and terri threw a piece of catfood on me and i thought it was on of those cricket-things. i screamed bloody murder and i somehow hit the thing that slides out of the computer desk that holds the keyboard and mouse and that was on the floor. terri was cracking up. it was pretty funny. well, after all this writing all of this useless information in which you probably dont want to know (overshare!). i haven't tired in the least bit. hmmm what other useless information can i write down here to bore you all? we were all in the car and rachael had a picture of the jr's '69 chevy engine. and he said something like "isnt that andrea's engine." well, something like that, i have short term memory loss, dory. ha ha ha, im just messing with you all. back to the chevy that i love. oh i love that truck. oh i want that truck. that would be so nice. oh yea, yesterday after the hood flew up and left dents in the hood, we went to the mechanic shop and there was a chevelle malibu 350. say it with me now everyone! ahhhhhhhhhhhh. hmmm what on the radio you ask? where are you going?- dave matthews band. :) thats me happy cause i like this song. nope, i'm still not tired. maybe i shoild read one of my books. i would probably fall asleep in 2 seconds flat. well i have this poem in the back of my mind but i just cant get the words but i know it's there. it's kinda like when you have the name of something but it is just on the tip of your tongue. well this poem thing is on the tip of my brain. have you ever gone through which i call poet's syndrome. well anyways poet's syndrome is when you think about how to get your thoughted to rhyme. kind of like "i want to get a slice of pizza and a coke but i only have 5 bucks so then i will be broke." its quite hard to explain. do any of you know what i am talking about or am i just sounding like a nut case over here? yay! this writing thing is starting to work. not only are my poor little fingers aching but i am actually starting to get tired. after reading this little novel, i am feeling very very tired. you see? i told you that my writing would make you all fall asleep. well it is july 2nd 2003, 1:02 AM and i am finally going to go to bed.

andie andie oxenfree***

4 changed the world | dream

:: 2004 10 June :: 11.04 pm
:: Mood: happy :D
:: Music: growing on me - the darkness

i was on a happy spree tonight
tonight i had practice
i wished for rain the whole day
no rain=me at practice

we do this drill where we go against another player and try to get the ball
and i got the ball every single time it was my turn
ah, that made me feel so good, so powerful

the rest of the practice was great after that
i had felt so accomplished
and i was so focused on the game

so practice is over
my mom picks me up
the boy aka brandon aka little brother plays on the playground for a bit
we leave

have the radio blasting
windows down
brandon hollering at us to roll them up

so we are at the light to turn into our neighborhood
windows are still down (sorry brandon)
the cars song 'just what i need" came on

i was shakin my head
and drummin on the car, drummin on an invisible drumset
singin along

i was just so happy

so light is green
and this guy comin outta our neighborhood
and gives me the "you crackhead, you" look

ah! what do i care! i am way too happy to fret about that!!

so we drive by the pool
window still down
brandon still whining
'just what i need" still roaring

i stick my head out the window
and yell "HEY!" to the swimmer in the pool
she waved back
and was probably wondering who the heck was waving at her

my mom asked me, "do you know her?"
"no", i replied.

and i smiled a big happy smile

and we headed home.

andie andie oxenfree***


:: 2004 10 June :: 11.01 pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: the scientist - coldplay

Midnight Storm
walloping winds shake the
umbrella tree, which creates a lullaby
this here, baby, will be my last final goodbye

angry rain pelts my window
lightening strikes up my empty room
while numerous dark memories of you again gloom

in my bed, i toss and turn trying to
get you off my mind
trying to forget just how you left me here behind

i sat up in bed and suddenly realized something about me and you
for we are the storm and as soon as it is over
the sunshine will shine through

andie andie oxenfree***


:: 2004 9 June :: 6.37 pm
:: Mood: ok..
:: Music: free bird - lynyrd skynyrd

If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?
nothing but a memory.

like a raindrop that falls on to the blacktop, evaporating in the hot summer breeze.

i was never here nor there.

i never gave my heart away for that was all a dream.

even though it seems more like a nightmare, the sunny parts of it fight off the dark ones.

sometimes once in every blue moon when i am awake at night and i look at the sky i can hear your distant laughter as it echoes off the stars.

i still get that nervous feeling, the rising bubble in your stomach that is filled with butterflies.

that only happens when i think really hard about my long past.

i like to trick myself and say that things happen for a reason and in this case they happened for the best.

then i remember how lonely and cold i am at the moment.

and how you came and warmed me right up.

though at the moment that is nothing but a memory.

like a raindrop that falls on to the blacktop, evaporating in the hot summer breeze.

andie andie oxenfree***

1 changed the world | dream

:: 2004 9 June :: 5.13 pm
:: Mood: :/
:: Music: come together - aerosmith

i can still remember
the sound of your sandals
as you walked down that
empty, lonely hall
each clippety-clop
reverberating off the walls
translating into the
uncertainty of tomorrow

as the sound drew nearer
my breath was caught
somewhere in between my
heart and my brain
the wave crashing inside me
became a tsunami and beat upon my heart
that was beating the same rate
as the clippety-clop of your

no words were said
as you stood by me,
just my heart yelling
trying to get through my skin
it was then that i realized
i still missed you when
you were standing near

as you walked back down
that lonely, deserted hall
the sound of your sandals
were the same rate as
the tears coming down my cheeks

andie andie oxenfree***


:: 2004 9 June :: 3.25 pm
:: Mood: okie dokie artichokey
:: Music: miss you - blink 182

hello there, the angel from my nightmare..
i'm wandering round this house again
feelin the ghost of you on my skin
why is it that you still haunt me in my dreams?
why, when i hear your name do i rip apart at the seams?
i tried to forget you but youre a disease on my mind
i tried to meet another but you were the only one i could find

andie andie oxenfree***


:: 2004 24 May :: 10.25 pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: echo - incubus :D this is my favorite song..ever

if we took a holiday...
we were driving home
my belly full of osaka japanese steakhouse yummy food
grinning about the way dinner turned out and how i have the best family
the windows were down
blowing that cool 80 degree florida breeze in
madonna's 'holiday' playing on the radio
i was singin in the wind
remembering the words from when i was around 4/5 and i loved madonna and i would sing 'cheerio girl' instead of 'material girl'
and that moment..was the happiest moment of the day for me :)


2 changed the world | dream

:: 2004 24 May :: 10.12 pm
:: Mood: happy...remembering..
:: Music: 11 am - incubus

second sister
i can still remember once riding my bike down to your house cause i was scared of the thunderstorm
i was there everyday it seems, like my second home
to me, it was a second home with my second sister
looking back now, i smile and laugh at the silly things we did to have fun
how many times did we talk til the battery on my phone died?
how many times did i have to refrain from eating so i wouldnt have food travelling with my laughter?
we'd chat about school, boys we liked, and how we would show the troublesome boys in the neighborhood who is boss
but then something changed
we both met new friends and talked on the phone to one of them til the phone died
i feel so distant now
like im peering in to the bubble of your world except im not really in it
although i know that i still have my second sister



:: 2004 16 May :: 10.08 pm
:: Mood: drummin on the computer desk
:: Music: muse - time is running out

church bells
i heard the church bells ring
yonder over the hill to the south

the eerie clang of the rusting bells
travelled over the dreary dusty land

infiltrating through the open windows of your car as i stared bleakly out at the moon

the sudden noise broke through the silence
and went out through the other window

i just wanted to open the door and run away
for you werent speaking and it was killing me

my eyebrows furrowed and spelled disappointment
while my eyes went icy blue under the pale moonlight

i tried making conversation but much to my disappointment the only response was the wind and the echoes of the empty land

how long will we go like this?
before i start screaming from my heart

with a sudden halt, the silence hit the dashboard
as you briskly stopped infront of my house

slowly i got out and bent down to say goodbye through the window
halfway you sped off in to the distance

leaving me in a cloud of dust at my lonely front gate
listenin to the faint, far away church bells


3 changed the world | dream

:: 2004 4 May :: 10.45 pm
:: Mood: happy//wondering
:: Music: incubus - aqueous transmission

the onlooker
the moon is back to its sneaky ways again
as it hides behind the clouds
and pops out every now and then

it glances down
as its glow is seeping
old knowledge to the earth

he looks upon us
as a grandfather would look
at his grandchildren

that old man has seen many days
but still reigns in the sky
once the sun has made its departure

but dont be tricked by his age
as he slyly smiles and the earth beneath
glitters in a magical golden hue

for he sees the magic that goes on
beneath the stars and trees
for his mystic light creates it


2 changed the world | dream

:: 2004 1 May :: 8.58 am
:: Mood: :)
:: Music: Carve Your Heart Out Yourself - dashboard confessional

i eat emo for breakfast :P

yes it is saturday
and i am up at 8:49
i am...patiently...waiting.
today i am goin to boca with el equipo
to watch a girls lacrosse
and boys lacrosse game
im so excited
and i just cant hide it
never seen a lacrosse game before

waiting till 11:30...

1 changed the world | dream

:: 2004 30 April :: 5.49 pm
:: Mood: happy//letting go
:: Music: one year, six months- yellowcard

you know who you are
my world falls
you grin
on the sidelines
my heart is heavy
while yours jumps

"A dream, all a dream, that ends in nothing, and leaves the dreamer where he lay down, but I wished you to know you inspired it."
-Charles Dickens

Close up these eyes, try not to cry
All that I've got to pull me through is memories of you


2 changed the world | dream

:: 2004 22 April :: 6.39 pm
:: Mood: happy// feel like dancin
:: Music: tuesday's gone - lynyrd skynyrd

down the strip
tears would be running down my face. i bit my tongue which restrained my fist from strikin the wall. i needed to escape.

i called you

when you picked up the phone and you heard me say hello between sniffles you right off the bat knew something was wrong. always when i said hello versus my usual hey, hola, yo, howdy..

you knew the drill

i could hear the whizzing of the bad muffler as you pulled into my neighborhood. i snuck out with my red baseball cap on to cover up my swollen watery eyes.

you always put my favorite song on and put up with my singing off key. we would ride through town with the windows down. the brutal wind blowing our hair around. after a stop at the 7-11 and one blueberry/cherry mix slurpee, i was better.

the hat got thrown in the back of your car and sat on the floor with the numerous fast food wrappings, important school papers, and clothes.

my once crying eyes now peered through the wind and soaked up the flashing world that was passing by my window.

sitting at the longest light in town. beating on the dashboard along with the radio. thinking how unfair it was to have to wait an eternity to turn on to the strip.

the green of the light lit both of our faces up and we both grinned and you grabbed my hand as we turned down on to the infamous strip.

i looked at you as your foot slowly pushed on the gas button. the car was flying down the strip along with our hair as the wind stormed through the car and whipped us in the face.

breathing in the ocean air, everything that was weighing down my soul evaporated. i caught you glancing at me and i squeezed you hand a little harded. i whispered i love you in to the wind. the smile that spread across your face told me that the wind had whispered my secret to you.


2 changed the world | dream

:: 2004 18 April :: 9.20 pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: i want you bad - offspring

long live the sunscreen song!!
Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.


Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.


Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.


Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

- Everybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen- Baz Luhrmann. lyrics by Mary Schmich-



:: 2004 18 April :: 9.15 pm
:: Mood: happy//dance-y
:: Music: run dmc - its tricky

hooked on phonics
yesterday i walked into my aunts casa yesterday

i saw my uncle

i read his shirt

i ask, "i'd rather be in my garbage???"

my aunt looks over, "i'd rather be in my GARAGE."


1 changed the world | dream

:: 2004 15 April :: 6.53 pm
:: Mood: HAPPY!! :D
:: Music: hem of your garment - cake

im baaaaaaaaack!
ok i wrote this a coupla nights ago
i was EXTREMELY bored

april 13, 2004
time: 9:06
music: way away - this cd!

hmm. computer is broken. oh joy
we took it to best buy today
hopefully (cross your fingers!) it will be up and working tomorrow


went to my little cousin ryan's baseball game tonight

if you live in southwest florida as i do, you know of the terrific, wonderful weather we have been having lately

it drizzled the whole time at the game

i'm sure the little kiddies playin loved it. "no, ma, i'm just all muddy cause i HAD to slide in to home."

the whole entire time when ryan was on the field he had like a.d.d
not paying attention to the game what-so-ever

he was tilting his head back trying to catch raindrops on his tongue, blowing bubbles with his gum, trying to stand on one foot, and many more things that have NOTHING to do with baseball

both little teams line up, high five, then run a-muck on the wet, muddy field

-game over-

so we were walking out
still drizzling

i was looking down at the puddles as i walked

"andie! andie! come and jump!" those devilish puddles yelled out to me

the "no fun" part of me was like, "no, you are 15! no way are you going to jump in the puddles and look 3!"

halfway between that arguement

my feet were in a puddle

the legs of my jeans soaked

but i could hear my little hot pink toes thanking me

so i grinned

and splashed through more puddles

fifteen shmifteen

a puddle is a puddle and i'm jumping in.



1 changed the world | dream

:: 2004 9 April :: 9.58 pm
:: Mood: okay//silly sore throat!
:: Music: get what you need - jet

how NOT to scare people...
once upon a time..

ok no just kidding


when i was younger

i was at my aunts house

something clicked in my noggin

and i came up with the idea

hey i should go hide

and pop out

and scare people as they walk past

so i checked out potential hiding spots

no not the hall closet

or under the bed with the dust bunnies

or under the cabinets with that spider


i can hide in the hamper

in the guest room that was built in the garage!

so i jetted off to the room

quietly, wriggled myself into the about 4 ft(h)X 2.5 ft(w)x2.5(l) white hamper

so i smiled to myself

thinking of how i would scare the unknowing passerbys

and i waited

and waited

and bein about 7/ have very little patience and you dont like to wait on things

so i figured out that no one was comin

i decided to not try and scare anyone

i started gettin out of the hamper

only to realize that i was stuck

i started to panic

i yelled out for help

the only part of my body out of the hamper was my head

i was crying

they didnt know how to get me out

then i started wondering if they would have to call the fire department to get me out

that thought made me cry even harder

finally my uncle came in with a knife

and cut a big slit into the wicker hamper

and i crawled out

my face all red from crying

and from that day on i promised myself that i would never hide in a hamper again

hmm i wonder how many calls the fire department recieves to free little girls from hampers


1 changed the world | dream

:: 2004 7 April :: 5.25 pm
:: Mood: happy//sore throat
:: Music: real good man - tim mcgraw

take me out to the ball game...
last night i went to my little cousin ryan's baseball game..

balls were whizzing through the crisp air,

the lights shone hope on the emerald green fields,

and the wind blew the smell of sweat and grass and the many dreams of homeruns and wins.

after yelling and banging my fists on the old picnic table, cheering the team on, i glanced over at the stands.

in the mini-stands sat a black woman, a spanish family, and white people

now i know that we are a little past the civil war but you would be surprised at the racism that i hear today

the next whack of the bat, instead of hollering with the crowd...i listened.

i heard three different kinds of people all
cheering on the team and i stopped and smiled

behold, baseball the melting pot

i'm sure martin luther king jr. was grinning from ear to ear as he looked down from heaven

fixed his baseball cap

and cheered for the home team


1 changed the world | dream

:: 2004 5 April :: 7.06 pm
:: Mood: wondering
:: Music: yellow - coldplay

my moviequote for the day...
Humpty Dumpty was alone...That's sad isn't it? He had to sit on that wall all by himself. He deserved to have somebody...That's really what we all need, right? Someone to sit up on the wall with watch the world go put us back together again when we fall
- from Never Been Kissed


2 changed the world | dream

:: 2004 4 April :: 11.44 pm
:: Mood: wondering//remembering
:: Music: dont cry for us - justincase

kudos to robert frost
have you ever read "the road taken" by robert frost?

lordy that poem is so right

have you ever wondered what of happened if:

you went to that other school

you gathered your guts and talked to that guy

when that spontaneous burst of life was knocking on your door, if you would have answered the door


but i shall not fret on this forever

for the past is sometimes more comforting that your past

no more looking in the rear view mirror for me anymore

for i have been dwelling on it too much lately



:: 2004 3 April :: 10.31 pm
:: Mood: sad//disappointed
:: Music: break down here - julie roberts

home is where the heart is
i am homeless

home is where you feel most comfortable

the walls embrace you like the arms of a great aunt that you havent seen in years

that is where after anything like a break up, rough day at school, or any curve ball that comes your way, you can go and feel safe in your soul

home sweet home, they say

i am homeless

i live in a house

not a home

ready to move


2 changed the world | dream

:: 2004 31 March :: 3.35 pm
:: Mood: happy//honky tonky
:: Music: country boys and girls - tim mcgraw

why brandi's room smelled like garlic...
once when i was younger, i was at my friend brandi's casa.

we had just been talking about if the barbie dolls would move when you werent looking,

if they became....alive.

we must have been like 6/7 when this happened.

so we were in her room and we heard this weird noise from outside her window

(it was really the deaf girl who lived in the apartmento nearby...but we didnt know that)

we got really scared and jetted out of that room...thinking it was the barbies coming for us....they were alive remember?

so brandi and i go into their kitchen and grab...the garlic powder'

we go back to her room, garlic powder in hand, and sprinkle it ALL OVER her room

i have no idea what we were thinking with that garlic powder

maybe since garlic wards off vampires that it will save you from evil barbies

we got in trouble for dousing her room with the garlic powder

but hey, at least we didnt get ambushed by evil barbies

after that incident, everytime i went into her smelled like garlic

since then they moved

and i bet the people who live there now wonder why that one room reeks of garlic

but thanks to brandi and i

they will never be attacked by evil barbies


1 changed the world | dream

:: 2004 31 March :: 3.23 pm
:: Mood: happy//singing along
:: Music: break down here - julie roberts

happy hump day :P
so here is my day in a nutshell:
-math starts with a m...whoa so does migraine
-mo-mo, jake, rina and i....incubus concerto..wanna go? talk to me
- tgs line reciting at lunch
- freakin DOUBLE wet willy from will in spanish
- i turned around and hit him in the arm askin wtf? and angel who sits next to me was like "whoa i never heard you cuss before"
-"ewwww you wet willied my ankle!" -angel
- if brandon calls me backseat betty one more time..the squirrels will be called
-singing "look at me, i'm sandra dee" while walkin to mi casa from the stop with casey
-report card...chevelle-worthy grades :)


2 changed the world | dream | Random Journal