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these words at best were worse than teenage poetry.

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:: 2004 11 November :: 8.00 pm

it makes me sad to think of the passion lost from eyes.
and seeing one face fade into a crowd.
im staring at a cursor, blinking on a screen.
standing in an hour glass to drown.
nobody's here to peirce the glass and let me out of times grasp
it would stop my heart anyway.
the sand seeps into my lungs like some invading cancer
slowly burying my life in a glass grave.

1 brave fuck | as if your opinion matters

:: 2004 14 July :: 12.17 pm

its storming.
the rain falls hard like my hope for this world and sinks into the ground
thunder tries to stop the fall but im unamused by the sound
i like to hear the loud footsteps of this awful storm
it convinces me of the illusions of the mind, if nothing more
a puddle of hope sits on the street, it will never be seen again.
they all say "you are wrong, kid, for it will flow to the ocean."
and the love reborn in two teenage kids, drowning in emotion.
but the love will rise back to the clouds like magic, it seems
then fall again, confirming love exists only in my dreams.

as if your opinion matters

:: 2004 13 July :: 11.02 am

Vague disruption
i keep getting a strange feeling
that in the next moment in time
my whole life will change for the better
and never again will i need to pretend
that theres' something to look forward to
because after that moment, i'll have all i need.
but now i sit here hoping for a simple reason to feel anything but cold loneliness.

as if your opinion matters

:: 2004 5 July :: 1.14 pm

too many days spent wondering why. this needs to end. it could all be done with a single conversation. give me one conversation.

as if your opinion matters

:: 2004 1 February :: 8.21 pm

like alcohol it stings making me wince. you pour salt in my wound, i beg, you insist.

as if your opinion matters

:: 2004 22 January :: 11.39 am
:: Music: AFI

Whatever you feel it doesnt matter
Whatever you say nobody cares
the world keeps spinning in all its confusion
Your pain goes unnoticed by all but thats fair.
because you live without recognizing them or the way that they feel
because you have to protect yourself, your vintage reputation of steel.
You act like being different from everyone at school will one day make a difference but thats not really true
you can dress, talk, be just like everyone else these days
as long as when it really matters you can act to change the entire world's ways.
i know that i stand no chance alone to change what i think is wrong but one day maybe you will think back to this and join me so i am not on my own.
the world needs desperately to see through these eyes
instead of thinking about who should rule over their lives
government is an unnecessary force said to keep control over people
but everyone knows right from wrong so whats the problem? it's that simple
i admit there are evils in this world that can tempt some to do wrong
but politicians are some evils, thats where government came from.
this need to cease and decist right now
so we can truly be free to live the way we should know how

wow thats terrible

as if your opinion matters

:: 2004 5 January :: 4.21 pm

snmowflakes fall with no regard because care is what stupid people do
But snow sparkles, shines, looks miraculous for you
to brighten your dark winter day
and make all thats sad and bad appear okay
like a million falling stars in the night sky
maybe they offer a wish for those who try
in life and are not lazy
when time is slow and purpose seems hazy
so wish upon a falling snowflake, no two are the same
but dont expect results because life's not a childrens game.

2 brave fucks | as if your opinion matters

:: 2004 4 January :: 11.14 am
:: Mood: aggravated

political rant
Life is like a box of chocolate
chocolate thats only what you make of it
It seems that doesn't quite make sense
but turn it around and its your defense

politicians dont deserve
what they are given theyve got a lot of nerve
to sit there and take our money
but nobody stops them. i think its funny
not one person should have power
over others, we all have our
own opinions and ideas
our own strengths and our own fears
I dont want to be represented
By someone that ive never met and
do not care to cuz he is not
a person i could respect a lot
He takes from the rich and the poor
and gives back to the rich, it makes me sore
to see that our people are dying today
and no one else sees it. im in dismay.

1 brave fuck | as if your opinion matters

:: 2004 3 January :: 1.33 pm

optimism is overrated
the meaning of life is overspeculated
"i love you" is overstated
everything is too complicated.
everyone thinks life just goes on
they dont know they all might be wrong
you could die while i sing this song
but you cant predict so you go along
theres nothing you can say or do
thatll change where your life will take you
you dont choose what you persue
for its already chosen for you too
you might as well just give up now
trying to direct where your life will go
you cant decide, this you should know
so live life like you will die tomorrow.

as if your opinion matters

:: 2004 3 January :: 1.31 pm

i decided to use this as my stupid crap and poems journal becasue i got a new diferent journal that i use for regular stuff now. if you dont know the new one is empath ok?. alright then.

as if your opinion matters

:: 2003 4 July :: 4.33 pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: none
hello. how are you? that's wonderful. I'm alittle bored. yeah. I have no plans for today. I have no plans for the weekend. I'm just gonna sit around and do nothing. Doesn't that disgust you? it disgusts me. I'll porbly call some people and maybe go to somebody's house. I doubt it though, everybody's busy. oh well.. cya later

as if your opinion matters

:: 2003 22 June :: 4.39 pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: spitalfield

everything sux
Hi. OK so much for the not writing here anymore. yeah, I 'm just way too bored. its ridiculous. I need a hobby. no that's too much work. My computer's broken so I can't play on that. I'm using my mom's and its really slow. it sux. well, how is your summer going? yeah? wow. so I went to Wisconsin for "vacation" last week. who goes to wisconsin for vacation? there's nothing there. it was so boring. and next year we're supposed to go to Arkansas. my family is retarded. cuz It's my grandparents who get to choose and they're all old and stuff.
My sister is having problems too and I know you want to hear about those. See, the night before her open house, she roled her car into a tree. then she didn't call the police because she'd get her lisence revoked. and then she gave money to her firends brother to fix the car because he ahs a body shop and his girlfirend took the money and hasn't been seen since.
Oh and the sheriff called our house and said that we were breaking the law by having more than two cars registered and insured. apparently its a township ordinance thing. its so lame.
also on the way to wisconsin I was driving and my dad was supposed to be giving me directions and we passed our hotel so he told me to turn around, and i did a u-turn which apparently are illegal but nobody saw me or anything. well now my mom won't let me drive anymore and I have to take drivers ed tomorrow. grrg, it sux. yeah, so everything is sooo messed up its hilarious.
I really hope your summer is going better than mine. well have a nice day. bye now

as if your opinion matters

:: 2003 10 June :: 3.42 pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: The Starting Line

this makes no sense
Hello, people. How are you today? Oh really? that's fascinating. wow. OK I'm so incredibly bored right now. I haven't wirtten in this thingy since March 12th. Aren't you proud of me? that's like three months. see, wow. ok mow I'm home all alone for the whole week, then next week I'm going to wisconsin, then the week after I have drivers ed, segment 2. I'm not gonna see my friends for like three weeks and now, when I'm bored I can't get ahold of them so yeah. I hope they're out having fun somewhere. They wouldn't tell me anyways. this isn't helping. It's making it worse, damnit, this thing is so depressing. I think that's why I stopped writing in the first place. so goodbye. have a splendid summer!!!!!!!!!

as if your opinion matters

:: 2003 12 March :: 4.35 pm
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: eminem

bad day
Hi. How are you? I was just fine 10 minutes ago having just woken up from a three hour nap by my sister coming home. But she left 5 minutes later and I couldn't get back to sleep so I got on my compie and Becky ruined my whole day. grrg. And this anonymous person is driving me crazy cuz I don't know who it is, ok that sounds like i'm dumb. And I'm bummed cuz now I can't go to the bean friday. So ijust wanna go back to sleep and I can't! but i don't have much else to bitch about so i'm gonna ttyl. bye

1 brave fuck | as if your opinion matters

:: 2003 11 March :: 6.15 pm
:: Mood: pleased
:: Music: Godsmack-Keep Away

Hello, How are you today? I love this song! i'm pleased with myself. i did so well today. I put on a perfect act, and I got my bio homework done in band and I did good on the test, and I did pretty good on my poster that took me 10 minutes to make last night. heehee. they probably know damnit. I think I scared a couple people in golf which is kinda weird cuz I haven't done that in a long time. and some other things from the a couple months ago are reliving themselves. It's great. I'm happy. tomorrow is a half day. I think it should be the second half. don't you? yeah of course you do. haha. sorry. well, bye now. toodle-ooh heehee

1 brave fuck | as if your opinion matters

:: 2003 10 March :: 4.51 pm
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: mudvayne-not falling

Hello. Are you aware of how much the world can suck? not liiterally. BUt today it just made me really mad. and then I messed up and didn't have my bio homework done and we have a test tomorrow and I was talking to jessie and got kicked out for hte rest of the hour, stupid, stupid Lisa, stupid. oh well. I still won't fail the test. I don't htink its phiysically possibly for me to fail. And watch I just jinxed it and I fail tomorrow. I would be so pissed. grrrg. And grrrg I won't know if I can have people over on friday unitl wednesday so i can't really make any plans. If I can't it'll just be put off again and again until its summer and everybody's gone. this is very stressful. I don't know why. I think too much. stupid thought. grrg. ttyl. Have a nice day!!!

1 brave fuck | as if your opinion matters

:: 2003 8 March :: 8.02 pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: Red Hot Chili Peppers!

Hello again. How are you feeling? Lisa is feeling happy now. the snow helped. Ya know somethimes it just seems that all the world is messed up life is falling apart? Well, this is not one of those times. Now it seems all is right with the world. although i feel i haven't gone far at all, and it's almost like i'm back where i started a couple years ago, i'm content this very moment. now my toes are cold. damn, it ruins everything. stupid toes. I like snow. it's pretty and fluffy and bone chilling. heehee. I am amusing to myself. I guess i have nothing left to say today, to you at least. so i'll talk to you tomorrow. bye now.

as if your opinion matters

:: 2003 8 March :: 3.26 pm
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: Trapt-Headstrong

grrr and boohoo
Good Morning! how are you today. I'm just spiffy, and kinda mad, too. I'm stuck home doing this stupid health project. It sux ass. And even if I didn't have to do this dumb project i'd still be trapt here and there's nothin I can do about it. grrr. so now i'm just gonna go and feel sorry for myself like the selfish bitch that i always am. Or maybe I'll go outside and scream at the top of my lungs until somebody stops. hehee. or my brother comes out and smacks me upside the head. damn. Must form new plan. this sux. Hopefully you had fun today, right. i'll see ya.

as if your opinion matters

:: 2003 7 March :: 4.55 pm
:: Mood: energetic
:: Music: Socialburn - Down

I love that song
Hello. Today wasnt as spiffy as yesterday. The first three hours of today were practically terrible. Things got a little better after breakfast but it still wasn't divine or peachy, or even funky. but I've had worse days so life goes on. Oh no , the song! make it stop! ok I'm ok. Do you think I'm cooky? odd? strange? weird? I think some people do. but there are a lot of people I think are weird so if I'm werid what does that make them? I want tomorrow to come, but not until today is done. I am a weirdo. Damn. But now I might be more weird. oh no! let's not think about it. we'll just be the same. Yea. But people don't like it. What should i do? Shold I change for other people? That seems decietful and untrue, but to ignore their preferences is selfish. Damn my thoughts. We're gona go think about this now. By the way, does anyone know who that anonymous is? I would ask them but if they were going to tell me they wouldn't have put anonymous, right? Yea I'm a smart cookie. Bye now.

2 brave fucks | as if your opinion matters

:: 2003 6 March :: 5.36 pm
:: Mood: Divine
:: Music: Seether

Hey you! How have you been?
I'm just dandy! I had one of those good days again. I haven't written in a while so I'll have to bring you up to speed. I play in concert band now. I got some new friends outta that, so its cool. Band is so fun.
Also I\'m on the golf team now. I never really played before and it seems kinda dorky but I went to the pre-season practices and its actually a lot of fun. I got a puppy, too. she\'s so stupid, but cute, ya know how puppies are. she\'s a rotweiler so i\'m training it to bite and hate people which seems mean but it\'s really not.
oh! for health, my sex-ed partner is Josh jones and he is kinda weird. He wants to name our kids (for the project)Jebediah and Muhammed. what do you think of that? I like the name Eathen. and Ryan. So i don\'t know what we\'re gonna do. that\'s not really important but its kinda funny so i htought you\'d like it. I had fun at the band festival today. We got all 2s (1s are the best you can get) so we did alright. it was just, a good day. Oh and I dyed and cut my hair last weekend, but I did a crappy job so it looks like shit. Purplish shit. heehee.
And I have really been enjoying annoying peopple lately. What really gets to them is the blurting out of random words. Like pink. and egyptians. Kind of surprising. I thought the talking in thrid person like a crazy person would be more effective, butno. Nonethe less its fun. funfunfun. that\'s all that matters. yesyes. Lisa is cold now so we\'re gonna go now and talk to you later. bye. bye.

3 brave fucks | as if your opinion matters | Random Journal