home | profile | guestbook


If music be the food of love.

recent entries | past entries


aaron

:: 2013 19 May :: 2.24pm

Shame murders progress.

1 Burn | backtalk


shalee

:: 2012 15 November :: 9.55pm

No feeling is final.

backtalk


aaron

:: 2012 7 May :: 1.33pm

I am addicted to that certainty in whose absence my selfishness is

naked.

In the first moments I was action. I moved, even though my certainty and knowledge had been shattered. From here, I can't see precisely what moved me. Some inexplicable sense that the next step, despite not mattering, was worth making.

But I've coasted to a halt. I sit motionless and restless. That is my selfishness. Though I have no certainty to speak of, it should be obvious what the next step is. [I]It's all out there[/I].

But then I stop. There are people, connections, responsibilities. Am I allowing myself to be especially possessed? Have I surrendered myself to be objectified? Does covenant imply objectification?

I am living in a paralyzing tension- on the one hand, the potential for absolute freedom. On the other, knowing how alone that freedom makes me.

Can I bind myself that way? Is there anything else to do?

_|_ If it looks something like that, then I have some writing to do.

It's funny that tripping over the answer gets me to ask the right question. My life would move along more quickly if I could do things the other way around.

backtalk


aaron

:: 2012 6 May :: 6.05pm
:: Music: The dog days are over

Sometimes I feel like the world is talking to me.

backtalk


aaron

:: 2012 1 April :: 10.12pm

I don't know anything.

What if I had it and I threw it away?

backtalk


shroudofrain

:: 2012 20 March :: 2.43pm
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: Everything Good by Ashes Remain

So, got some idea where I'll be going in a few years... don't know exactly when, but maybe starting building contacts in December....
Russia. I feel God is leading my wife and I to Tula, Russia to minister to others.
From the ministries I've heard of that have gone on in Russia, I've heard that most of them, the missionaries don't live among the people... they either build up walls around their house or their lives to protect them from everyone else outside of them... and that doesn't come off as something right or good to a culture that is heavily relational and personal.

My intention is Russia be the headquarters of all the missions that Chelsea and I want to do: See a need in a place we end up in, meet that need among the community, leave the ministry to a Timothy, and move to another place when we feel we are felt let to move.

Tula is a very cultural area in Russia, you get heavy WWII history on Russia's part (they were the ones making all the guns and ammo for the Russian army at the time, and helped fend off an attack headed toward Moscow). Other than that, it's kind of the meltingpot of a lot of culturs that will be very interesting to experiance, and plus you can hop a train or tram, and a half an hour to two hours -or so- you're in an area that needs help, or really anywhere in the western half of Russia.

Chelsea and I are so excited to start this ministry work through our pastor's orginization -Open Arms International Ministries (OAIM); spreading the love and self-worth of Jesus Christ to those who are looking for more in life, and needs due to them because they are human (food, shelter, human relationship, and love).

I love what we are being called to do, and I want so much to get started. Chelsea and I have the Youth to work on within our church, but I believe that's the stepping-stone to get our orginization fine-tuned and under our belt in experiance and such so that when we do go halfway around the world, we can be reliable, dependable, responsible, and effective when we do have greater responsibility on our shoulders.

Those who are reading this, please keep my wife and I in your thoughts and prayers as we travel and just love people, here in the states and elsewhere.

backtalk


aaron

:: 2012 20 February :: 2.28pm

Is it like this in everyone's head? Not writing this sentence might have been the first step in differntiating between what's in here and everything- everyone- else out there.

Am I an angry person?

backtalk


shroudofrain

:: 2011 9 November :: 10.51am

Sucks when you know you dreamt, and you rack your brain trying to remember what it was about; you don't even know bits and pieces... Then all of the sudden, latter on in the day, you remember every single bit of the dream... And it was nothing you ever wanted to remember.

backtalk


shalee

:: 2011 12 August :: 5.01pm
:: Mood: hopeful
:: Music: Radical Face

Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay it's not the end.

backtalk


shalee

:: 2011 6 August :: 11.29am
:: Mood: accepting

It's good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.

backtalk


shalee

:: 2011 1 August :: 9.23pm
:: Mood: complacent

"I am alone in the world, and yet not alone enough to make each hour holy. I am lowly in this world, and yet not lowly enough for me to be just a thing to you, dark and shrewd. I want my will and I want to go with my will as it moves toward action. And I want, in those silent, somehow faltering times, to be with someone who knows, or else alone. I want to reflect everything about you, and I never want to be too blind or too ancient to keep your profound wavering image with me. I want to unfold. I don't want to be folded anywhere, because there, where I'm folded, I am a lie."

backtalk


shalee

:: 2011 19 July :: 10.40pm
:: Mood: awake

If you have to ask, you will never know. If you know, you need only ask.

backtalk


shalee

:: 2011 17 July :: 10.22am
:: Mood: melancholy
:: Music: Beck

It is a fearful thing to love what death can touch.

backtalk


shroudofrain

:: 2011 13 July :: 11.47am

Am I really a toxic person in your eyes because I told you embarrising and regretable actions that I am now trying to reconcile?
Am I really not worth your friendship because I've made mistakes in my life and I recognize them?
Am I really worth being dropped in probably one of the most emotionally unstable, intimidating, and uncompromising periods of my life?

Thank you... for not being there when I need you the most.

1 Burn | backtalk


shalee

:: 2011 11 July :: 4.44pm
:: Mood: exhausted

My heart is my own design.

backtalk

Woohu.com | Random Journal