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mbenznut

:: 2010 2 November :: 10.53pm

ample trouser furniture

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jedibumblebee

:: 2010 27 October :: 12.56pm

In the light of the sun
Is there anyone?
Oh, it has begun
Oh dear, you look so lost
Eyes are red and tears are shed
Some world you must have crossed .

You said, You don't know me
You don't even care
She said, you don't know me
You don't wear my chains

The essential yet appealed
Carry all your thoughts cross an open field
When flowers gaze at you
They're not the only ones
Who cry when they see you

You said, You don't know me
You don't even care
She said, you don't know me
You don't wear my chains

She said, I think I'm going to Boston
I think I'll start a new life
I think I'll start it over
No one knows my name
I'll get out of California
I'm tired of the weather
I think I'll get a lover
I'll fly 'em out to Spain

I think I'm going to Boston
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town
To leave this all behind
I think I need a sunrise
I'm tired of the sunset
Here it's nice in the summer
Some snow would be nice

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mbenznut

:: 2010 20 October :: 11.28pm

The Stig has been in me.

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michellestar

:: 2010 18 October :: 10.12pm

last
To my readers:

There's a reason I haven't been writing. I cannot talk about it here. But I realized this gave me the opportunity to do what I knew would have to be done someday. Say goodbye.

But first, thank you. Thank you for listening to my words through your pixels. Thank you for coming along, whatever your reason, whoever you are. Thank you for watching my mystery unravel.

It's hard for me. To let this go. Seven years of my life are in these pages. A documented path from student to scientist. I'm not leaving because there's nothing to say, rather the opposite is true. There's so much that got left out from this summer, all those months I wasn't writing. A huge chunk of this is missing because of it, but that's the way it goes.

It wasn't always this way. Woohu was a community once. I thought of it more of a message board for my dorm and the group of friends I congealed with freshman year. One by one they left here, but I made a conscious decision to stay. Not for any particular reason, other than this became home. And I began to realize that all along, this journal, the memories buried in these pages, had been for me. To see growth flowing through words, representing actions, representing faith in myself.

And this became my memoir. My memoir of everything I lost and all that I gained. My winding road from those terrifying early moments in chemistry freshman year to a full-fledged forensic scientist in the NYPD. From being horrified to speak in front of room of classmates to testifying in courts of law to a jury of strangers. From bemoaning biochemical pathways and stoichiometry to analyzing mass spectral evidence.

When this journal began I was 18 years old. I was a wide-eyed freshman in college surrounded by strangers who would eventually become friends. I was dating a British boy back home, saw my parents every month or so, and thought I was going to become a biochemist. My first entry was made in playful angst as I fidgeted with my new life.

As this journal ends, I am 25 years old. A girl standing on her own two feet looking back and knowing how she got here, in large part to this very place where she could watch it unfold. This place took my experiences, often too close for me to see clearly, and let me take a step back and examine them to see them for what they were. Seven years later, I have a domestic partnership, a new group of friends, and a career in forensics. And my last entry is not in angst, but rather in wonder. This is to have succeeded. To end better than I began.

I didn't write everything here. There are a lot of things that happened to me, or I happened to them, that will never grace these pages. But what's here is my truth nonetheless. What's here was for me, and that makes it real.

I am not done writing forever. This has become ingrained in me and I had to make a conscious effort not to do it. Not because I have some sort of fantastic life that the internet needs to know about, but because life is something worth documenting even if just for myself. I will be found elsewhere, when I'm ready.

I am going to open back up a few of my last entries to give a sense of where I left off. These last two years had more loss, in the sense of people, than I have dealt with in the rest of my life combined. My life has undoubtedly changed because of it.

But in the end, thank you to the friends in Michigan, friends in New York, Jason, family members, a few coworkers, and a handful of strangers who read this. Thank you for finding this interesting enough to even have read it just once. Thank you for embracing yet another cell floating in the endless sea.

MichelleStar
October 18th 2003 - October 18th 2010


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mbenznut

:: 2010 16 October :: 7.19pm

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mbenznut

:: 2010 15 October :: 7.49pm

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mbenznut

:: 2010 13 October :: 12.04pm

Your mom called. She has lice again.

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mbenznut

:: 2010 6 October :: 10.08pm


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mbenznut

:: 2010 3 October :: 10.03am


J.B. Ghuman and Marshall Allman in Starcrossed
Uploaded by biako06. - Explore videos for gay and lesbian community.

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mbenznut

:: 2010 2 October :: 6.30pm

Make like a Chinese father of a newborn daughter and step on it.

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mbenznut

:: 2010 24 September :: 7.56pm

Maybe it's just because I'm drunk, but this is fucking hilarious.


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mbenznut

:: 2010 24 September :: 7.40pm

Last Friday, over 400 Pittsburgh high school seniors were expecting another boring lecture about the importance of donating blood, but got something much more interesting. When Assistant Principal Tim Kotch flipped the switch to turn on the Power Point presentation, several gay porn pics appeared. Oops!

"It took a few seconds for people to process what was up there," said one student. "People were laughing, but the main thing was people were like, 'I can't believe this happened.' "

The representative from the Central Blood Bank (CBB), who brought in the flash drive that had the photos on it, was visibly embarrassed but managed to complete his presentation.

"There were some images projected that were -- we'll just leave it go as 'undesirable,' " said Detective Sgt. Jeffrey Bouldin. "We're still trying to determine how that occurred."

The employee has been suspended because of the incident. "Per organizational policy, employees are not allowed to use flash drives and are required to review their presentations in advance with their supervisor; in this situation, the employee ignored these policies," a letter from the blood bank to the parents of the students stated.

Had the employee been on his toes he could have integrated the photos with the presentation, along the line of "If you're going to do things like this, then we won't be wanting your blood." Hey, it might have worked.
[Post Gazette]

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mbenznut

:: 2010 24 September :: 11.45am

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mbenznut

:: 2010 20 September :: 7.44am

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mbenznut

:: 2010 18 September :: 9.26pm

I'm going to need you to shut up right now, because I'm incredibly hung over.

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mbenznut

:: 2010 17 September :: 9.31pm

I think I told that kid to get our daughter in the backseat of his car.

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mbenznut

:: 2010 17 September :: 7.41pm

Ok, I'm watching Friday Night Lights. If I had known that by giving a football player cookies on game day entitled you to making out with him, I would have been doing a lot of baking.

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mbenznut

:: 2010 26 August :: 9.52pm

Peter Peter Rhyme

Peter peter pumpkin eater
had a wife loved to beat her
smacked her twice across the head
fucked her ass and went to bed
__________________________________
Hickory Dickory Dock

Hickory Dickory Dock
The bitch was suckin my cock
The clock struck two
I dropped my goo
And dropped the bitch off at the next block!

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mbenznut

:: 2010 17 August :: 7.24am

To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree."

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mbenznut

:: 2010 16 August :: 10.28pm

They spit only to stroke their own cocks.

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mbenznut

:: 2010 15 August :: 9.17pm

I wish to alter my bet. Everything on the one with the horse cock.

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jedibumblebee

:: 2010 10 August :: 10.08pm
:: Music: The Postal Service- The District Sleeps Tonight

I'm staring at the asphalt wondering/ What's buried underneath where I am...
Smeared black ink
Your palms are sweaty
And I'm barely listening
To last demands
I'm staring at the asphalt wondering
What's buried underneath where I am

I'll wear my badge
A vinyl sticker with big block letters
Adherent to my chest
That tells your new friends
I am a visitor here: I am not permanent
And the only thing keeping me dry is where I am

You seem so out of context
In this gaudy apartment complex
A stranger with your door key
Explaining that I am just visiting
And I am finally seeing
Why I was the one worth leaving

D.C. sleeps alone tonight

You seem so out of context
In this gaudy apartment complex
A stranger with your door key
Explaining that I am just visiting
And I finally seeing
Why I was the one worth leaving

The district sleeps alone tonight
After the bars turn out their lights
And send the autos swerving
Into the loneliest evening
And I am finally seeing
Why I was the one worth leaving

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mbenznut

:: 2010 5 August :: 6.16pm

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mbenznut

:: 2010 31 July :: 9.08am

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mbenznut

:: 2010 18 July :: 7.31pm

No food all day. 1/2 cup blueberry Smirnoff, 1/4 cup sprite, 1/4 cup blueberry juice=me completely trashed.

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jedibumblebee

:: 2010 10 July :: 7.53pm
:: Music: Ben Folds Five- Fair

I send my best, cause God knows, you've seen my worst...
you know when you don't listen to an album for a really long time and then you listen to it again and it's like... whoa.

i bought ben folds five- whatever and ever amen, on cd... i already have it, but it's on..umm... cassette tape.... so i haven't listened to it in a while.

<3

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mbenznut

:: 2010 10 July :: 7.32am

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jedibumblebee

:: 2010 8 July :: 9.29pm
:: Music: Ben Folds- Kalamazoo

Don't you know that I've been there too?
Ran out of time
Running my mouth
Ran up a tab and
All the way from Kalamazoo
On my way back home
I was surely stoned
Now I'm sober in my yard

Can't believe I was there
Can't believe I've been anywhere else

There was a time
Almost forgot
We had been drifting
All the way to Kalamazoo
And I said that I loved you too
All the way back home

There's an old joke
I just made up
How many of me
Would it take to screw up your life?
One to settle down
One to turn you 'round
Now I'm sober in my yard

I would say you had to be there
And I regret that you're still there

Seems like you'd be frozen
Frozen there in time
Waving your goodbye
High up to the sky

Your place on the map
Has faded away
Looks to be lost in
More that one way, Kalamazoo
Don't you know that I've been there too?
And it puts your mind more at ease
If you'd say the words of release
All the way back home

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jedibumblebee

:: 2010 7 July :: 9.29pm

i think i might have a driniking problem.........

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jedibumblebee

:: 2010 6 July :: 8.00pm
:: Mood: nostalgic
:: Music: Jimmy Eat World- Always Be

How are you gonna know the feeling/ until you lost it?/ I've been losing plenty since...
Could've been a night like any other
One of us has to drive
One of us gets to think
I'll force a laugh to break the silence
It's gonna get harder still
Before it's easy
You can't keep safe
what wants to break

I'm alone in this
I'm a "as-I've-always-been"
Right behind what's happening
She's a "lost-in-this"
She's a light
She'll always be
a little far for me to reach

I was just a boy like every other
I thought I was something fierce
I thought i was ten times smarter
Love would be something that I just know
How are you gonna know the feeling
Until you lost it
I've been losing plenty since

Maybe something else I'm missing
Something good and you're the reason
It's a dream but there's a real world waitng

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