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:: 2005 17 May :: 2.15 pm
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: The wrap-up rap

Does anyone remember the wrap-up rap? Maybe I was one of the only people in the world to own a cassette of such a pathetic shot at educating those "stupid americans" but i just remember it being really retarded. It had this parts that were like "the wrap-up rap, the wrap -up rap" in a robot-like voice. Then it would proceed with periods of monotonous times tables. Thats right folks, all you have to do is throw in a few bars of "hip" robot talk interrupting those times tables, and it will make learning fun!

Isn't it a wonderful feeling to get things done? I'm waiting to hear from a potential employer (furniture sales, yay!) but in the mean time, i'm getting stuff done. The wedding is coming together nicely (I apologize for the reference, I'm sure it gets old, but its running my life right now) and I am negotiating for a paid internship at the Mac store in town. Granted, I'll get an internship there, no matter what, my cousin owns the place. But I may just be able to get him to pay me and then get the university to reinburse him for my pay. SWEET! Money, work, and flexible hours. I figured I had to do something, because as of June 11th, I will not know what to do with myself.

According to my fiance, I am no longer a giraffe or a large mouth bass, as he previously claimed. No, in fact, if I were an animal I would be a Great Dane Puppy. Apparantly, I am not self aware (thus explaining my clumsiness) like puppies with really big heads and paws and all I want to do is cuddle at inconveniant times. I liked this designation better, and I find more truth to it. He still claims that i look like a giraffe though.

I have come to the conclusion that Mike Myers sucks. He really isn't funny, at all. I saw Wayne's World, and wasn't impressed. I thought Austin Powers was a string of cheap jokes, but the nail in the coffin was So I Married An Axe Murderer. I was forced into it, and now I want my 90 or so minutes back of my life. Beatniks? Please.........

If you read this post, leave a comment. I am just wondering how many people are out there *looks up at the stars*

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:: 2005 7 May :: 4.28 am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Enya

End of Semester
Yes, its been long time no see Mallory. Between finishing up school and planning my wedding, I keep busy. But now its 4:30 in the morning and I haven't slept yet. I can't......I just am thinking too much. For the girls out there who grew up NOT planning every detail of their wedding.......beware. Once you must plan a wedding, it probably will take over you life. I'm worried about my hair,my complexion, whitening my teeth, finding a replacement for my AWOL bridesmaid, and of course invitations. I don't want to think about it.

So today, I had my last final, moved out of the dorms, and went home for a weekend trip (i'm moving in with my cousin till the wedding). Its a six hour drive. I drop my fiance off at his dad's house and on the 10 min ride home I was very careful not to go too fast. Unfortunately a cop was waiting for me right where the speed drops 15 miles and clocked going......15 miles over the speed limit. Mind you its 2 in the morning and we are the only two there. The asshole pulls me over and acts like hes gonna give me a ticket, and probably would have if I hadn't just gotten a ticket the last time I went home the month before. Granted, that time was a much bigger deal, although even THEN I was TRYING to be good. Cops set traps, remember that. It pissed me off and all I can think about is him shining his flashlight directly in my eyes.

I am wholly unemployed, and now I don't have school, so I feel like a bum. I have sent out about 15 aps and resumes in the last month, and I will send out more when I get back to BG. But I guess I'll have plenty of time to make crafts. Anyone have a craft project they would pay me to take on? Just thought I would ask.

On the brighter side of things, check out this snippet of conversation during the road trip today.

Mo: *sniff* Do you smell Cornpops?
Mal: *pause* No, actually I smell skunk.
Mo: *pause* Oh, yeah.


Mal:You should join Kellogg's marketing team.
Mo: Yeah, actually, THAT should be the commercial.


Whats not funny is my sister. She wants to move back into my parents house. THANK GOD I LIVE ON MY OWN.

Quick background on my sister: She's absolutely fucking crazy.

You know that song "She's Got Issues" by Offspring? I dedicated that song to her.....and I told her so to her face.

For some reason the other night when I was half asleep I had a thought. My thought was "Do flowers get jealous of each other for their colors?" At the time I thought it was absolutely genius and I saved it in my memory bank for a "kick ass sensory poem." Now all I can think is....thats retarded.

Thats what happens when I'm half asleep. Certain stages of sleep have the same effect on me as alcohol would have, if I drank. One day I was napping and a telemarketer called. I answered the phone and answered all her questions. I ended up getting a shitload of stuff for a ridiculous offer (i didn't even remember she had called) and she called me for weeks trying to get me to sign up. Finally I figured out I had to be 18 and I was only 17, so I got off the hook. I'm glad I only have a cell phone now.

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:: 2005 31 March :: 4.59 am
:: Mood: anxious

Chips and Floss
Alright, heres my public confession: I have two new obsessions. Salt and Vinegar Chips and flossing.

I've never been a flosser, it took too much time and I told my fiance that he was a loser for being a flosser. So much for that. I flossed 3 times yesterday. Now I just ate and I feel the need to floss, but I left the floss at morgan's. Do you know whats stuck in my teeth? Salt and Vinegar potato chips.

I ate a fairly big bag yesterday and a lunch portion just now. On sunday night I ate an entire can of pringles. For years I avoided salt and vinegar chips because it sounded nasty. But one taste....yeah, I was hooked. I don't even like chips that much! OMG they are so good. I don't know why I can't enjoy things like normal people. I have to OBSESS over things. There was a time I was obsessed with chocolate. For like 5 years. Finally I decided to go on a chocolate fast and that took care of that. Now I can eat it in normal amounts and be satisfied.

Other past obsessions: Exercising, Dragonball Z, Fruit Roll Ups ,Xena and Hercules, Grilled Cheese (now I barf when I eat it), The Secret to My Success with Michael J Fox, Dumb and Dumber, 101 Dalmations (old school animated version), and Napolean Dynamite.

Not all of these from the list are extinct.

I'm outta here to find some floss.

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:: 2005 30 March :: 6.22 am
:: Mood: enraged

Yep, phone is broken. I got the phone the weekend after Valentines day. How ridiculous is that? Anyone thinking of getting Nextel, DON'T! And if you still do, don't say I didn't warn you.

The tech support guy agreed with me that Nextel phones are expensive pieces of shit. This was my second phone since June that broke, and no, they aren't free.

Then my toasting glasses for the wedding are on their way back to the sender. Why Morgan's landlord couldn't sign for my package is beyond me.

Phew. I do however feel better now that I bitched at my coach. He's SUCH an asshole. (Swim coach) He schedules my life for me and forgets to tell me about it. So now all my plans must be cancelled for him.

I got an 84 on my archaeology test because my professor is an obsessive grader. For example, I had to list 6 factors that go into consideration when choosing a classification system. I listed 5, all of them correct, and I got -6 because I didn't list all six. AHHHHHHHHHH!

Oh well, its only the second day back, things will get better. I'm still mad about being in Kentucky I guess, but the weather is nice today so thats good.

On the upside, I wrote my wedding ceremony last night. So even if there isn't a toast, the minister will still know what to say.

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:: 2005 29 March :: 4.05 am
:: Mood: grumpy

End of Vacation
Here it is, my first posting.

I just got back from Los Angeles. A GREAT spring break. My only ever good spring break. Now I'm suffering from Vacation Withdrawel.

My fiance took me out there so that I could meet all of his friends. He went to film school out there for a year so he was the perfect tour guide.

We stayed with his actor friend, a well established actor ya'll probably seen numerous times in a movie, whether you recognized his name or not. Doug is like my California dad now. I asked him if he wanted the part and he said yes. So its official.

We did some touristing..... tourising.......touring. You know, Hollywood Blvd, Santa Monica Blvd, Venice Beach, pretty much usual stuff. There was even this one homeless lady that stood perfectly still staring at everyone draped in a clear tarp. The wind was blowing slightly so the tarp conformed to her face. Oooooh, creepy. I took a picture so I could post it, possibly.

Ugh, I didn't want to leave.

The plane ride sucked. Four hours. Oh well, right? At the end we encountered some major turbulance. I dug my nails right into
Morgan's arms. I've never been on a flight where literally everyone screams. Literally.

So I get back, and it starts hailing. I clean, do laundrey, stop in to see my aunt and watch some movies. I need to call about a package UPS tried to deliver while I was gone, before they send it back to sender. But my phone has locked me out and I need to call tech support for that. Isn't it amazing how dependant cell phones make you?

A car crash and a STOPPED train made me late to class this morning. And of course its raining. *sigh*

After all this bitching......all I can say is

Life is Good

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I found out that a boy I knew from way back drove over a landmine in Afghanistan. Its the first time someone I knew died in the war.

So it could be worse. Rainy days and school in session I can handle.

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