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ohsht// she needs to die, kthx

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:: 2006 10 February :: 7.27 pm
:: Mood: worried

Okay Brandon. I freaking MISS YOU. Where have you been? The last time I texted you, was about 4-5 weeks ago, and you practically lived online!
I'm sorry if I never really returned your emotions... but just when I was in full bloom of it, you moved on.
I need to know what happened.
But you never talk about it.
I hate that you say you love me, but you don't really act like it...
We're just "friends with benefits".
Well... we were. Before you disappeared.

2 ttlyrawked | typeme1plz

:: 2006 3 February :: 8.54 pm

Wow so... amazingly, Woohu isn't letting me comment either. o_O

Sharu- Aww. I love you Sharu! You're the best! < 333

Kitsune- ROFL.
Go ride it. =o >:DD

Shiori- I've had a mood like that sometimes. It annoyed me. XD

Mimiru- Roflmao. Maybe he wants to lick your picturein the comfort of his own home? =o

Whenever you see him.
Imagine he's this stick.
With poo. :D

Kanna- ROFL. I wanna try sooommmee~ < D

3 ttlyrawked | typeme1plz

:: 2006 3 February :: 8.07 pm

Tristan actually went, "Hey, it's the asian girl!" And semi-waved yesterday.

I was so surprised, I responded the way he does, kind of.
This sort of "Half-way Spirit Fingers while shrugging your shoulders".
That's how I describe it anyway.

And.. Mary ( a 17-year old girl from LJ) thinks he has the same feelings I do, but blah.
If he does, why did he ask that other girl out? =/

Algebra 2A quiz on Monday.
I'm so not ready.
All we've been doing in that class so far is reviewing Algebra 1!
And I'm drowning fast.

Grow up Rebecca.
Forget Tristan.
Forget being kind and courteous.
Forget trying to network yourself.
Forget those feelings.

If I said that I hated emotions... and I wished I didn't have them, I'd be a shell of a human. Since emotions make up a lot of a person's psyche and thought patterns..

"It doesn't seem enough to just glance at you.
I want to be with you, always.
Wishes and hopes don't seem to be stable enough for me.
Only you're there in my mind when I want you the most,
It's a shame these affections don't just wither away."


:: 2006 31 January :: 3.42 pm

A junior came into my Algebra 2A class today..
That's what I mainly did.
Glance at him.
I think he looks kind of cute.
Not as handsome as Scott of course.
But kind of cute.

He totally sucks at algebra though, roffles.
He didn't understand ANYTHING on the review packet for Algebra 1A/1B. It was craaaazy.

Oh uh..
Didn't see Tristan today at lunch. Boohoo. =[
I haven't seen Brandon online either. Wtfuxever.

This one kid.
I think his name's Chris..
He's pretty cute too.


4 ttlyrawked | typeme1plz

:: 2006 16 January :: 4.30 pm

I'm On my mom's computer while she is taking a nap.. >.>

I had the worst dream ever, last night.

I dreamed that I was in first period, but Tristan was sitting beside Niki (a girl I knew in 7th grade Choir who had the snottiest atitude I have ever known, then moved) and paid every single bit of attention to her. He didn't pay attention to Mr. Enders, nothing. Just whispering back and forth and.. augh.

I felt horrible all morning.


:: 2006 13 January :: 4.56 pm

My wireless isn't working.
I was able to post this on my mom's computer because I said I needed to look up something for school.

Ahh, here she comes~

I dunno when it'll get fixed. =[


:: 2006 9 January :: 8.43 pm

God I'm pissed.
This thirteen year old girl online has been bitching me out and being on my case for the last about twenty minutes, just because I told her I couldn't chat with her because I had homework.
And she goes off thinking I'm jealous that she and her friend are smarter and younger.
I'm just like, "Wtf?"

So I finally blocked her after I told her that she can IM me back when she's done being such a headcase.
Fucking bitch. God I hate people so much.

6 ttlyrawked | typeme1plz

:: 2006 5 January :: 8.56 pm

I got a cold after standing outside in the rain for about 40 minutes because someone pulled the fire alarm when there wasn't an actual fire.

Yep. A slightly runny nose, a slightly sore throat..

Thanks a lot, asshole. :[

2 ttlyrawked | typeme1plz

:: 2005 31 December :: 3.54 pm

I did not know scarves were SO FREAKIN' EXPENSIVE. Holy hell!
All of them, and I mean aaalll of them were like, $20-$50!!
But I found one that looked like it was gonna be really warm (it was a Paul something, and it was a bright blue on one side, black on the other) that was about $10.00... so that wasn't too bad.

Happy New Years' guys.
We made it through another year.
< 33333333333

2 ttlyrawked | typeme1plz

:: 2005 30 December :: 4.19 pm
:: Mood: restless
:: Music: Once Upon a December://:Deana Carter

The plan..
To Do List:
1. Study Geometry [Review of Sections 11.1-11.2 ; Polyhedrons, Prisms, and Pyramids & Solids With Curved Surfaces]
2. Review all Geometry note cards
3. Reread Macbeth & take notes
4. Finish another section of History Book Review Questions
5. Worry about getting my grades up Redo Geometry problems [that I'm not sure how to do at all] until I know how to do them.

Belated Christmas Gifts List:
1. Nasya ; Scarf- yellow
2. Stephanie ; Japanese fan I made
3. Kathryn ; ?- something related to anime preferably
4. Melodea ; small bag of assorted bracelets/rings/gum


:: 2005 26 December :: 8.15 pm

I shouldn't've made my last two entires FO.

Oh well.

1 and a half of my book reports left to finish!
"And you kinda just.. tell them to fuck off.
But in an olde age way.
'Begone ye faggertots.'"

I dunno why but I find this incredibly funny. xD

2 ttlyrawked | typeme1plz

:: 2005 21 December :: 10.38 am

I still haven't done those book reports.

I'm not self-productive. :[

2 ttlyrawked | typeme1plz

:: 2005 20 December :: 2.09 pm

For some reason, I can't view my Friend's Page. >:[


:: 2005 15 December :: 8.00 pm

Hannah told me she didn't want to talk about Brandon, and she wanted our discussion not to stay on him.
Well.. that was a month ago at least, and I didn't talk to her about him. But today I really wanted her perspective (she'd be a great psychologist, honestly...) and when Brandon got on well...

xXAnimeOutlawXx: SCORE!
sedative03: ?
xXAnimeOutlawXx: Now..
xXAnimeOutlawXx: For the convo
sedative03: Yes, because I have no clue what happened. XDDD
xXAnimeOutlawXx: xXAnimeOutlawXx: Hey
HeartSeedOrchird: Hi.
xXAnimeOutlawXx: No? ok, fine
xXAnimeOutlawXx: Ttyl
HeartSeedOrchird: Wtf.
HeartSeedOrchird: You're so quick to jump the fuckin' gun.
xXAnimeOutlawXx: Oh,. whoops sorry.. Not used to you replying so quickly ^^*
HeartSeedOrchird: Yeah, I'm sick of it.
HeartSeedOrchird: Bye.
xXAnimeOutlawXx: You're just sick of everything, aren't you?
HeartSeedOrchird: Yah, 'cause you know me so well.
xXAnimeOutlawXx: Remember when you said you loved me..?
HeartSeedOrchird: Yeah, I regret it.
xXAnimeOutlawXx: Hmmm.. Well that makes two of us..
xXAnimeOutlawXx: So, who DO you love?
xXAnimeOutlawXx: If it's even possible for you
xXAnimeOutlawXx: Is it Rebecca?
xXAnimeOutlawXx: I know you're there, and I know You're pissed at me.
xXAnimeOutlawXx: So?
xXAnimeOutlawXx: Block me.
HeartSeedOrchird: Hm?
HeartSeedOrchird: No.
HeartSeedOrchird: Oh.
xXAnimeOutlawXx: Why not?
HeartSeedOrchird: Yeah.
HeartSeedOrchird: Not to the block me.
HeartSeedOrchird: To the Rebecca question.
HeartSeedOrchird: Bye freak.
sedative03: Wait, WHICH was to the Rebecca question? O_O
xXAnimeOutlawXx: "Yeah"
Just so you guys know.. Hannah pretty much hates Brandon, and he finds her incredibly annoying, as you can see.. But it's not out of spite, I'm sure. She has a great boyfriend now and he's coming to visit her sometime.

Anyway.. I don't know. I just don't know. He says he loves me but..

I'm just not sure about him anymore. I still really enjoy 'being' with him and everything..

Ah well. I'm almost ready to let it all go past me, and to just enjoy being with him and Demetria while I can.
I hope I got a good grade on that last test in geometry.. I probably failed. >.>


:: 2005 14 December :: 10.41 pm


(In a chat earlier):

HeartSeedOrchird: The only thing beautiful to me is fire :3
HeartSeedOrchird: Light yourself on fire Rebecca.
sedative03: Fuck you. < -- (I was pissed off at him because he was paying a lot more attention to Demetria than me, and I have histrionic tendencies)
HeartSeedOrchird: Ugh.
HeartSeedOrchird: Grow up Rebecca.
HeartSeedOrchird: Tell me when you're not vomitting up hatred.
HeartSeedOrchird has left the room.
MathIsFun61: Oh Brandon IMed me.
sedative03: Hm? What'd he say?
MathIsFun61: he asked me how long i'm staying online.
MathIsFun61: I'm going to ask what the hel is up with him.
sedative03: Yeah? 'Kay. Tell me what the convo is.
MathIsFun61: Hey back in the chatroom why were you just brushing Rebecca off? Talking down to her kinda. Humm. I dunno.
MathIsFun61: HeartSeedOrchird: I wasn't.
HeartSeedOrchird: I love Rebecca, she knows it.
MathIsFun61: HeartSeedOrchird: She was being sour though, so I left.
(A while later)

HeartSeedOrchird: I love you.
sedative03: I love you too...
But I think I'm being too bitchy.
You want Demetria, right?
HeartSeedOrchird: Yeah....
HeartSeedOrchird: She's not into me though.
HeartSeedOrchird: -Shrugs-
HeartSeedOrchird: We all have our moody days.
HeartSeedOrchird: I always bitchy D:
HeartSeedOrchird: I don't think I'll go to sleep.
HeartSeedOrchird: I will, but not until like 3.
sedative03: What, so I'm your reserve? Hahaha. Already happened once, but the guy was ugly.
HeartSeedOrchird: Reserve?
HeartSeedOrchird: No...
sedative03: Lmao. That's what you were thinking.
But I meant that.. since "Demetria's not into you", you just kind of.. I don't know. It made sense in my head, but I don't see where the common sense in the idea went.
HeartSeedOrchird: Hmm.
sedative03: Hmm?
We use the term 'love' too loosely.. I'm confused about whether it's the "I really love you" thing or the "I love you in a family kind of way".

NOTHING about me at all. SHE had to ask HIM.
And I was being sour, so he left?!

He doesn't give two shits about me enough to ask me why the fuck I'm so bitchy?
And he asks DEMETRIA how long she's gonna stay online. UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE.
He's the most insensitive ASSHOLE I've ever known!

Whenever he ranted or acted sullen, I'd ask if he was okay.
But obviously, that doesn't seem to matter.

He still hasn't answered.
I don't know why I still care.

2 ttlyrawked | typeme1plz

:: 2005 14 December :: 6.18 pm

Almost no one in Geometry finished the test today. So I have about an hour to skim everything in Chapter 10 for the test...

AC:WW is sooo cool. *_*
Except my dad didn't plug in the new wireless router (I'm not sure whether this one will work, hopefully it will. -crosses fingers-) and until then I'm stuck with a one-fruit town.

Brandon hasn't been online since yesterday when I logged off. >.>


:: 2005 13 December :: 6.01 pm


My dad bought AC:WW from Wal*Mart.
Now I have to hurry up and finish my geometry homework, finish that stupid WWI history project, then play a little, then write notes to cheat off of for the test tomorrow.

I think I might have the time. HM.

I will have to majorly suck up to my dad now.

2 ttlyrawked | typeme1plz

:: 2005 12 December :: 9.26 pm

Oh great.
So to explain everything AGAIN (the last one got fucking deleted by mistake. Jesus.)

Brandon + Demetria + Me = Same age, met same month, at Gaia slots.
After a few days, Brandon thought he loved me, then I told him stuff about how he should find a girl at his school that he likes, about how I need to pass state tests, and how I don't believe in love overall.

Since two months ago, or less, I met Melissa (same age, has known Brandon for a couple years) and Hannah (same age, known Brandon as long as me).
He's told her (Hannah) that he thinks he loved her too. I'm not sure when, but yeah.
He thinks she's annoying now, and blocks her. They don't really talk anymore.

I wasn't as keen on him as I am now..
I've gotten to know him better, and he makes me laugh and stuff, and he's pretty smart, academic-wise..

But this last convo just.. just blew me away. I was so shocked and hurt.

Read more..

I dunno..
It's probably just my period.. u_u;


:: 2005 8 December :: 5.29 pm


Got my quiz and test back.
Quiz: 50%
Test: 47%

So okay.
I'm actually paying attention in class, trying to figure out how to do my homework.
And this happens??
Wtf is wrong with me?

There's a kind of "joke" about me;
Since I moved to the US when I was still incredibly little, I tell them I was 'Americanized' and that is why I'm not as 'smart' as asians are stereotyped to be.

But the thing is..
I never was that smart.
I'm barely above average smart.
I'm not even sure I have straight Bs anymore.
I think there are a couple Cs now.

Especially in Geometry.
God, how I loathe geometry and algebra.

You know what really got me down today though?
My school doesn't have a Psychology class anymore.
I'll have to wait until college to take Basic Psychology.

AC:WW hasn't come today. My mom thinks it's supposed to come tomorrow or the day after.

Today was just one disappointment after another.


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:: 2005 5 December :: 8.07 pm



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