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I'll meet you at the end of this world.

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:: 2004 10 September :: 11.59 pm
:: Mood: weird
:: Music: APC* 3 Libras

Woah shit
Woah... look who the fuck is here!
Ha! It's been ages, I don't like this journal.. my greatest journal and live journal is better.
I just wanted to say that.

1 :.:.:kissed me:.:.: | ~.:Save me from my nightmare:.~

:: 2004 21 May :: 6.32 pm
:: Mood: go fuck a cow!
:: Music: Go fuck a duck!

So suck a fuck!
I'm not going to use this journal anymore... and If I do its going to be just private entries.. this journal is crappy compared to my other journals.. I dont even know who paid for this.. I was going to pay for it.. but decided not to... so bleh screw.. thatperson wasted 2 bucks on me for nothing.

~.:Save me from my nightmare:.~

:: 2004 17 May :: 10.34 pm
:: Mood: nauseated
:: Music: Tool~ Reflection

I have nothing you want

Heheh my dead man with his mouth zipped.
I'm not feeling well.. I feel like I'm going to black out, once again..I just hope I dont black out or throw up during school tomorrow. zzzzzzzZ.... wouldnt it be great if we could choose what our children would look like. If we could I would want my kid to have Purple eyes and green hair nooo blue hair... or maybe I want a guy like that, lol.

I haven't been feeling great since I got home, I am starting to feel like I shouldn't
care about anyone else but myself...
but I would be lying. Because I care too
much about other people. I hate seeing or
people who are down and/or crying, because
seeing people depressed makes me feel bad
because I probably had a good day.
well I'm going to stop I need I ponder on some things, psh.

~.:Save me from my nightmare:.~

:: 2004 16 May :: 9.18 pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: not listening to any you f*ck

why would I care?
You know what... I dont know what to write, and people shouldnt comment on my journal saying shit that they didnt see. And yea tina if youre reading this, sorry for being such a hypocrite. I was pissed off this whole week, and I was tired of never saying anything. I've become something Ive tried to never become. But I guess it caught up with me and bit me in the ass.

But for some lame ass reason there has been a person leaving stupid comments . They were being an ass so I just deleted it, and I know they are going to leave a message on this one.
"so why write anything at all?" you may say. I update this journal because.... lets say I dont have an outside life and I have nothing better to do. Its either this or go and bash my little sister with whats been going on in my life. WEll who gives a fuck, the only people who read my journal are bored or they want to know what's going on.

Now I'm calming down.. but I still feel like I want to throw flaming objects at the people who made me become so pissed off.
well I'm going to stop updating.. Im going to finish downloading some more stuff....

~.:Save me from my nightmare:.~

:: 2004 11 May :: 10.10 pm
:: Mood: Relived
:: Music: A Perfect Circle~ Brena

NO more singing, YAY!
I'm home, yay. I'm back from the choir concert. It seemed ok... lol. But stupid "smearly" had to help with the choreography. Stupid, crappy, retarded dance moves are not fun to do when that creepy guy is in the audience. :shivers: man he's creepy.. but so sexy *meow* lol. I know he saw me, because he made a face and mouthed my name *yay* but :shiver: creepy sexy guys shouldnt do that to me!

HEHe, but what a good day. I got my sliding cell, Yippee. Hip, hip, HOoray!
:: plays with cell to make fun noises:: Who should I call. er- I have NO one on my contact list, grr.

Also, Ive been SOBER for 3 whole weeks! BOOYA, marilu and jon! You both got served, lol. I have not done anything that is harmful to the human body...Well other that drawing and cutting it.. I'm pretty much good for the not doing any kind of substances. lol. yay! So yeah, Marilu and Jon ::does little victory dance:: booya! lol. I'm also off my meds, so I'm going be normal.. er- I wasnt normal before, lol.

I'm going to take out your liver bones!!!

~.:Save me from my nightmare:.~

:: 2004 9 May :: 6.52 am
:: Mood: a little dark
:: Music: whirs....

'a pause'
this was a good weekend..kind of.
i went to marilus on friday, after iss. it was fun.. blowing up lighters, not finishing agame of strip one controller jump rope, jacking eyeliner and candy, going inside unfinished houses, getting farted on. what a fun day. lol. saturday i saw van hellsing, the ending sucked.. i was kind of expecting james earl jones pop out as mufasa and say "simba.. "
lol. but no that chick's face had to pop out of the clouds and make my sister and i scoff,lol.
i also went barnes&noble. i saw many hot gus there. I also saw yoshi with carlos, i had a feeling she might show up. my sister talked this hot guy with a "squee" comic. yea. and so we talked to him and yoshi gave him a gum wrapper, lol, how mean. and the music cashier guy was so kickass and hot. it was fun. ;)
but i feel like tomorrow is going to get depressing and its going to get very depressing very fast. thats unless someone and something somehow happens.. i know that one person will change everything by doing that one thing that makes me feel happi.... i I'm not going to say who. because if i do, i'll start to feel bad, knowing that my secret has been -a- solved.
i dont think im going to any concerts this summer especially lollapalooza, its going to suck this year. but i really wanted to go to the the 'a perfect circle' concert , also to 'incubus's concert... aww. but hey i saw incubus at lollapalooza..but not a perfect circle..dammit.. hmph. im getting tired now. **bloop** **smack** **kaboom**
my cool sound f/xs.
well im off..
love peace and chicken grease,
im not chester or black.. i'm.. SUPER BLAcK CHESTER, lol.. j/k

~.:Save me from my nightmare:.~

:: 2004 6 May :: 6.53 pm

How can I get myself out of this moment? I feel paralyzed as if life seems to pass me by and all I seem to do is watch. What happened? Have I lost my ambition, my drive, my indivisuality, my youth?

I always believed in so many things, I always had so many dreams of what my life would be like and now it seems like those dreams are fading away, escaping through my fingertips. I can no longer distinguish whether I'm in transition or if I have arrived. Does anyone understand me? Knew you wouldn't.....

I've become dissapointed on how my life turned out to be. I feel like I took some kind of wrong turn and I can't go back. I wish I could but I guess this is how it has to be.

BUT I am not going to stand by and do nothing about it, I will change and it will be a change for the better.

~.:Save me from my nightmare:.~ | Random Journal