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:: 2004 14 May :: 5.15 pm
:: Mood: moody
:: Music: maroon 5

i love this song!
"Harder To Breathe"

How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable
So condescending unnecessarily critical
I have the tendency of getting very physical
So watch your step cause if I do you'll need a miracle

You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here
This Double Vision I was seeing is finally clear
You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone
Not fit to funkin' tread the ground that I'm walking on

When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head
You should know better you never listened to what I've said
Clutching your pillow and writhing in a naked sweat
Hoping somebody someday will do you like I did

When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

Does it kill
Does it burn
Is it painful to learn
That it's me that has all the control

Does it thrill
Does it sting
When you feel what I bring
And you wish that you had me to hold

When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
is there anyone out there cuz its gettin harder and harder to breathe

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:: 2004 12 May :: 8.09 pm
:: Mood: crappy

i don't feel good whatsoever! blech, i feel so icky. i drank three bottles of 16.9 oz of water, one 20 oz bottle of water, and 14 oz of coffee this morning. yeah, i drank so much today. i drank so much cuz if you don't feel good aren't you supposed to drink liquids? i think so, well....i'm bored. not only do i feel sick, i feel kinda pissy/depressed too. i dunno what it is, just.....whatever....well, talk to ya later~

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:: 2004 6 May :: 7.47 pm
:: Mood: blech

well today was a 1/2 day..that was nice. yeah, my parents picked my up from school because my brother was going out with his friends after school. they took me out to breakfast/lunch. we went to Anna's House, and that was good. then they made me go everywhere and i saw a couple of cars my spoiled little ass might get...mauhahahah! j/k..my ass isn't little, lol. yeah we saw a couple, but since i can't drive for a while it really doesn't matter. hmm...i have 3 tests and a couple quizzes tomorrow. yeah, i haven't studied at all for my honors bio test, maybe i should do that. oh and grades came today, how sad....well...i got geography II-A+, western civ=A, honors bio=B+, german II= A+, geometry=A-, and english i got a B+! damn it! i was really hoping for all Az this time...oh well, i don't know how i got a B+ in english, i always have a high A in his class, maybe if he'd post grades every once in a while...i don't understand, i got like a 49/50 on the last test and all, oh well, i better study for my english test too so i can raise that grade. i love how my parents said "2 b+s! 2!" they said it like it sucked, and yet they didn't say how great my 2 A+s were! damn that bugs me sometimes. well it was sad today....i didn't have any german class! :'( well enough complaining! see ya!

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:: 2004 29 April :: 3.09 pm
:: Mood: creative

well, today was a boring day, wasn't it?
yeah...so i'm bored...i have to job shadow tomorrow...yeah...i'm going back to 6th grade and job shadowing mrs. zerenner. i'm going at 9:30 and leaving at 1:30 so only like four hours...hmmm...i'm bored...i like my 6th hour class. fun fun! english is so fun when all you do is watch a movie and try to put makeup on a guy during it. geeze, men are so against wearing make up, lol. i was abused today and so were my pens....wow that sounds bad...kurt licked my sharpies..grossness, eh? oh well i wiped them off with a tissue. well, talk to y'all later!

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:: 2004 27 April :: 4.12 pm
:: Mood: coffee=good mood

i love starbucks!!!
yay! my $2.00 has be recieved! woot woot! so......everyone tell me how you've been...i'll be a litte physchiratrist(sp=bad), cuz i'm out of the loop on everything lately...so....every leave a comment telling me how everyone has been lately...good boys and girls...good...lol

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:: 2004 26 April :: 3.04 pm
:: Mood: meh

so today was a total waste of time. what...like 1/2 an hour in homeroom, too long with the motivational speaker. yeah, most of the time when he was talking i kept thinking he was bull shitting us, i just dont believe him, i just think i'm not easily moved by anything. well, i did finally put my money in the mail today, and the mail lady just came so, that's good. well i have to go get the mail now...cya

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:: 2004 16 April :: 10.21 am
:: Mood: pretty good for being at school!

hi everybody...hi dr. nick! ahahahahah!
Hah ha ha, I’m on the computer again at school…I love it! I’m supposed to be working on my disease project, but all I have to do is make copies of notes for the class and make an overhead copy…we have to teach the class about a certain disease and then take a test at the end of the presentations. I love how it actually looks like I’m working and doing something involved with my disease (retinoblastoma-eye cancer for kids mostly under 5). I don’t think many other people are working either. We could either go down to the library or stay in class, and I don’t know anyone in honors biology really so I’m down here writing in my woohu…yeah I forgot to send my money today and the mail is picked up and stuff before I even get home so I’ll do it tomorrow or put it in one of those big blue mail boxes at the post office or somewhere. Yeah…this class is so boring…. I can see you Jessica! Mauhahahahhahaha! You’re on a computer almost right below me mauhahahahaha! I like how I have perfect spelling….cuz of the computer! Well, maybe I should try actually working on my project now……maybe.



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:: 2004 15 April :: 6.12 pm

hey, did i mention......3 months to the date till my birthday!!!

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:: 2004 15 April :: 4.47 pm

I love how on the computer at school i got to type in woohu.com and the little address bar goes down and what to not really my surprise i see......angel bob and beretta...lol, should have seen that coming. and i also saw some other name, but dont remember it. well, i've decided to pay for my account, so yeah, i have to find an envelope...i'll send it out tomorrow, if i remember. yeah....i'm bored and have homework. i went for a walk since it's so nice. we've got some really pretty lakes not too far behind us, but most of the year the trees make them not see-able. oh well. yeah, well, maybe i'll go for another walk with my kitty. i love my kitty Killer, he's the best kitty(other than MY cat Lilly of course) yeah..i'm some what glad ben wasnt able to have him so i can! mauhahahaha! i love Killer, he's so sweet, the name does fit him though, he bites hard when he plays..lol.

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:: 2004 14 April :: 4.32 pm
:: Mood: strangely happy
:: Music: 97.9 grd

after saying what i really felt last night, today i'm just suddenly happier. just a few simple hellos made my day. i dunno i just like it when i talk to someone they make me feel good. i think hearing some of the things that i've been out of the loop on is really funny and jess knows what i'm talking about. so yeah i'm at the library so see ya later!

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:: 2004 13 April :: 10.04 pm
:: Mood: . . .
:: Music: world so cold-mudvayne

well, i'm bored, and tired, and sick, and for no reason that my consious mind knows of, i'm sad. sometimes i'm happy, but right now i just feel sad. i'm sure if you see me i'll have a smile whether it be forced or not... i can never tell anyway. today i tried to smile so i looked happy when people saw me, but not tomorrow, tomorrow i'll try to be truley happy...if that's even possible in a world so cold..i love that song....hold the hand of your best friend, look straight into their eyes, and watch them drift away....only in a world so cold..a world this cooolllldddd. ta*sigh*

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:: 2004 11 April :: 11.48 am
:: Mood: well

isn't easter fun? sometimes, not this year so much. i don't think we're doing anything for it. i doubt we're even going to my Aunt's house....i don't like her anyway so it's not even a big deal about that. and my other aunt, barb, is going out to eat with her family and wants us to join her, but my mom said no, probably not. so there's a ham in the oven, and i don't like ham...eww. wow i'm full of complaints today. one thing i still love....the easter basket. my mom made my brother and i easter baskets.....people think we're getting too old for them, but candy is candy and i'm glad for getting my white chocolate bunny. i'm not a fan of milk chocolate, it's white or dark, nothing inbetween. well, i think my lazy ass is going to go take a shower and eat some chocolate bunny! yay!

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:: 2004 10 April :: 12.25 pm

yesterday i got a manicure and pedicure with my momma. it was boring and i don't like people touching my feet...extremly tickelish...yeah, i got pink nails..i thought since easter is tomorrow i'd go with an easterly color. so that was fun...and we dyed easter eggs...fun fun and painted my room...that sucks, but at least it's getting painted finally. today we're supposed to go watch some of my cousins hunt for easter eggs in rockford, how cute. i got new sandels too, they make me look a lot taller, not like i need to ;) yeah, i'm really glad we have school monday, i'm not a fan of long periods without school, it gives me something to do other than watch crapy day-time tv. sad how we have to pay $2 for journals, i would, it's not like i don't have $2, just eh..i probably just wont take the time to send it in. oh well...well must go watch the kiddies hunt for easter eggs!

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:: 2004 6 April :: 12.16 am

well, yesterday we went to lowes and got me some paint so my room could finally be painted. and now today we started painting. well, yesterday while picking out the colors i settled for a red color. i love the color red, but if it was too bright it would look like christmas in my room on account my carpet is green. so i settled for a blah red. then i found another color after we already got the paint all mixed and whatnot. so i just kept the color. when i painted today, it was so damn pink fusha looking. and i hate and when i say hate i mean really hate the color pink, so naturally i was kind of pissed. then as it dried it became more and more red, and when we add on another coat it'll be redder. so yeah, i've got 2 more walls to paint tomorrow and then all 4 to repaint. then later that night i'm supposed to go to my sisters house in lansing and i'll be there till thursday night. yeah, so that'll be real fun. today was my parents aniversery. the big 30. 30 long years together and almost 16 of them with me and almost 28 with my bro jake. wow, so yeah. my brother jake, the big spender, spent over $100 on their present. they got a huge gift basket and my mom got a lovely bouquet of white flowers(roses, daisies, snapdragons, carnations, plus so small ugly flower) yeah. he spends so much money on people. for one b-day or christmas he bought me a couple of $25 inyuasha dvds. and was going to buy me a gameboy advanced sp, but my parents beat him to it. but by no means are we well off, i consider us quite just about middle class. most money is spent on bills and food, and little extra spending money. but since he lives in germany on a military base, he has alot of extra cash, they don't pay for housing and stuff like that, lucky bum. yeah well, have you noticed i say well very often. strange...no? yeah well, there i did it again. lol well *damn* yeah night~

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:: 2004 2 April :: 4.19 pm
:: Mood: damn allergies*sneeze*cough*

well, i was this close to getting a guinea pig today. (when i say "this close" you cant see it but i'm holding my thumb and pointer finger about 1 inch away from each other). yeah we were at the pet depot and there were like 15 baby guina pigs running about in a cage. they were so cute and fast. there was a four year old in there and i was trying to catch the one i liked the best and i couldn't because it was so fast and the little girl saw me and got it for me. she was such a little cutie, made me feel retarded though, that a 4 year old to catch a guinea pig before me. and yeah. so we thought about buying one and looked at books on how to take care of them. then we saw they lived up to 7 years and we were like screw that. so we're going to be my rat a really big new cage and a new little buddy instead. not white though, white rats creep me out. like a gray one or a rare orangeish one. yay for rats. they are the sweetest things! yeah. so we were running about all day today. damn allergies, they suck so much. i sneeze evey ten minutes and cough all the time. my eyes are watering so badly, it looks like i'm crying. and the runny nose, oh the runny nose...oh well i'll just go pop a few pills and be fine. i've decided i don't really want to go anywhere for spring break so i'm not going to go to chicago or st. louis any more. my sister invited me to spend a few at her house in lansing so i'm a gonna do that. my brother is gone till sunday or monday at her house. yay! it's so nice with him gone!!! well, mr. finkelbury(my rat) needs some attention now, so talk to ya later~

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