2005 25 July :: 7.04 am
I was dragged away from Eric...again. :( I haven't been able to see him for months. He got pissed off at my mother because she didn't let me stay long enough to talk to him or even get a hug. (He's big on hugs.)
Tony and I are making arrangements for him to stay for a few days. He claims I won't make it to 17 being a virgin...ha! I'll die a virgin, thank you. But, in any situation, I'll be glad to see him.
Although now he wants me to move to Louisiana with him. His mother has a house there left to her from her mother. It's being rented out now, but Tony said he's going to arrange with his mother so he could move in.
It's storming...sort of.
I sharpened my nails and scratched the hell out of my face last night.
I am ill, bleeding, back to having really strange and disturbing dreams. Apparently I talk in my sleep. Last night I said "Don't say a word" and "I wish I could stay..." Don't ask me why I said it, I just did.
I shall be going off again on my never ending job hunt. It seems the only thing I could even begin to qualify for is the Babylon (Strip club) and that, my dear readers, simply won't be happening. I do have some self respect, thank you.
Other than that, I don't count for much.
2 Left without goodbye. |
2005 23 July :: 11.00 pm
Went for a really...really long walk and I pulled a muscle. Other than that...I miss you all, and that is it.
2005 20 July :: 11.08 pm
Anthony now decides to tell me that he does just about any type of drug he can find. He want's me to try acid with him.
Umm, no, you want to fuck yourself up? Fine, not my problem, leave me out of it.
If he has a problem with me not wanting to do drugs, he can just shove it up his ass!
I've known people who have died because of drugs! I'm not going to sit around and watch someone else fall too!
With me, you either quit, get help, or said goodbye, because I, for one, don't put up with that shit.
2005 18 July :: 7.21 am
:: Mood: tired
Delayed...um, I've not much to say other than Tony spent $60 to send me roses and a letter. I feel really bad now. He says my heart is enough for him. Heh, since I told him he's not allowed to rip it out and take it with him, he said he'll just have to carry me around with him. I apparently made him shiver...is that a good thing?
Anyway, I need to go exercise.
Heh, I found a really old picture. I was 4 I think.
When I was actually cute.
And...this is me now.
5 Left without goodbye. |
2005 11 July :: 11.55 am
I've been sick for the last two weeks and counting. Fever, constant nausea, headaches, blah, blah, blah...so yeah.
Tony will be coming to visit this winter. Yay! No offense to his girlfriend...but I hope she doesn't come to. I mean, I like her, she's really nice, and I have nothing against her, but it would be a little weird having a girl follow me around...and she's attracted to me. I mean very attracted to me. She's bisexual.
Actually, you know what? That would be selfish of me not to let her come too. So, If she wants to, there's always a mind set for one more. Tony said we'll probably just hang out in the cemetery and he's going to monitor my living style for a while...he's going to try to get me healthy again. Although I'm only healthy in the winter months!
The heat of the summer makes me ill. I hate it!
Ah yes, can't forget us all wrapped up under a huge blanket in my room watching movies and spraying each other in the face with canned whipped cream. The simple pleasures.
2 Left without goodbye. |