hi there. last night i went to the movies. it was nice to get out... nothing else exciting has happened since school started up again. i just got up.. oooh it wa snice to sleep in, its alot better ten then whole wake up at 445 deal... i hurt my ankle the other day. i got hit witha softball n it hurt likea bitch n its still swelled and its all bruised. lol can you say.. smart??? i can!!! i actually did pretty good if i do say so myself at the pratice with my dad. we practiced for an hour and half. woohooo!!! me and weston are really good friends now. i dont like him.. that way... anymore. hes so great!! sos igor n people. they all care... its kinda coool, anwyay'
reid doesnt even call me anymore, he forgets about everthing, anytime i call him, hes bizy, any time he calls me its just to talk about his damn truck. im so sick of hearing about his damn truck. ooh i juss makes me wana scream sometimes. how did we go from.. love.. to like.. hate. its so pathetic. i just dont kno anymore. Hmmph... i dont kno. im still tired n i got like... 11 1/2 hrs o sleep. lol...whatever. im guna go now
leeve mea comment!
MUIAH
Lauren

i dont kno.. for some reason i just have this thing in my stomack.. i mean im crying over lyrics to a song. its pathetic

A hundred days had made me older since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder and I don’t think I can look at this the same
But all the miles had separate
They disappeared now when I’m dreaming of your face

I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me

The miles just keep rolling as the people either way to say hello
I hear this life is overrated but I hope it gets better as we go

I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it’s all said and done
it get hard but it won’t take away my love

I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
but tonight girl it’s only you and me


i dont kno.. i guess the thing about me not seeing reid is getting to me... school was ok. very very tiring tho. i dont wnt tomorro becaue i hate green days with a passion. i got my comp scanned n spy shit tkain off. lucky me!! well i duno i guess im going.
oh yeha
BiTChEs LeArN tO lEaVe YoUr NaMe
Lauren

hi... well, i dunno. tiffany is finally back. i wanted to chill with her this break, but we didnt... humm... i hardly chilled with anyone...

i read this somewhere

Hey again, it's been awhile, well Friday sucked, Lauren S.came over and spent the night, and we went to the movies, that sucked and she hooked up with Jo so she and Carl ended up breaking up and Jo came over the next day and well ewww i dunno what she sees in him, he's...well, he's just ewww. Lauren gets fucked up easily.


i cant tell you where, but i mean do i raelly get fucked up easily? i dont think i do but yah never kno....
humm...school starts again tomorro. im REALLY not looking forward to it. im soo sick of the work but i mean if i wanna excell i needa do work.. correct? yes. whoa i juss used sum pretty big words. lol... lets see... today i went to the mall, mommy bought sum stuff from charlotte russe. umm i was guna buy stuff but well i changed my mind.. oooh im tired.. but i needa stay up to talk to reid... i havnt really talked to him. i mean its only bin.. a couple days since ive seen him but it ffeels like forever. i hate it.. i dont kno its feels like stuff is falling apart with him.. i dont want that to happen. oh yeah, chad is obsessed with janna. lol well not obsessed but helikes her alot. i just hope he doesnt hurt her is all.. im not saying he will n i not saying he wont but i dunno she seems to really like him to, all i can do is hope for the best for both of them right??? well im gunna stop writing, i dont really kno how to orgnize my thoughts right now,
oh yeha!
the full moon tonight is beautiful!! i took the dog ona walk.. then i started running and started crying... i was thinking that i miss people, alot. i dunno.
my lunch shift may not be as fun, people are leaving it, its gunna suck...
Lauren
call me
560-2738
Some shit sux

hi!! i juss went to the beach today n got sunburned!!! oooh its hurts!! but i got sum great pix!!!
n e way
on... friday night after my dads suprise party, i still had ashiee n janna n lexa sleep over. the came over around 8 15 ish. then, we went relaly walking till 1 am. omg it was fun. we walked like 3 miles going back n forth. we first walked around my neigborhod then decided we wanted to go inside one of the hosues being built so we walked home n got flashliights then walked back up. then we walked back to change because we wer gunna go play in a dirt pile. then, after that, we did go play in the dirt pile form like midnight till 1. then i saw a snake so we ran home. lol after that, we threw on swimsuits n all gotta shower together. omg that was soo much fun. we took pix too1 lol i have the pic addy... here
http://www.villagephotos.com/pubbrowse.asp?selected=711418

hah ayou have to look at those those are like the best pictures. my grandma is here form pa. he came to suprise mhu daddy. it was soo much fun. lwell like today too!!!!
Hmmmm........ I'm sooo bored. WEll, today at the beach was fun, daddy took us out well, me out after riding in the waves!!! oh wow haha anyway, i gotta go dads gettin curious! muah!
call me
560-2738

How Long Have You Been Self-Injuring?:	3 years
What Type Of Self-Injuring Do You Do (cutting, burning, hitting, etc.)?:	cuttin
What Triggers You Do Harm Yourself?:	people and their selfishness
How Do You Feel As You Are Harming Yourself?:	sad n worthless
How Do You Feel Afterwards?:	better
Where Do You Usually Harm Yourself?:	my left wrist only
Have You Ever Needed Medical Attention After Harming Yourself?:	no, almost tho.
Who Knows About What You Do?:	my friends.. well all of dunbar cuz of some poeple
Why Do You Self-Injure?:	i cant stand things annymore
Think Back To The First Time You Did It, What Made You Do It?:	i was mad at my parents
Does Harming Yourself Really Make Everything Better?:	yeah it does. i like to watch the blood.
Are You Currently Seeing A Therapist, Phsyciatrist, Or Any Other Doctor?:	no im not
If So, Is It Because You Self-Injure?:	n/a
What, If Anything, Would Get You To Stop?:	girls werent such bitches
How Often Do You Harm Yourself (Daily, Weekly, Monthly, etc.)?:	it kinda depends
Do You Know Anyone Else Who Self-Injures?:	yeah alot
Do You Have Any Scars From It?:	yeah all ove rmy wrist
Do You Harm Yourself Even When You're Happy Or Have Had A Good Day?:	nope
Do You Isolate Yourself From Others Because Of What You Do?:	no not really.
Does It Help To Talk To People About It?:	YES. alot.
When Was The Last Time You Harmed Yourself?:	no comment
If You Found Out Your Best Friend Did It Too, What Would You Do?:	tell her not to n be a hypocrit
Do You Do It For Attention?:	I FUCKIN HATE THAT!!! EVERYONE FUKN SAYS THAT SO FUKN NO
Have You Ever Been Confronted About It And Lied About What Happened?:	yes i have
Have You Ever Tried To Kill Yourself?:	lol no shit sherlock
Are You Suicidal Right Now?:	yeah, always wills b
Are You Angry Or Depressed More Often?:	depressed
What Would You Tell Someone Who Is Thinking About Hurting Themselves?:	dont be stupid
Does Time Really Heal All Wounds (Both Emotional & Physical)?:	physically yeah, but emotionally, its always with you.

Self-Injury Quiz brought to you by BZOINK!

hmmm i dont kno anymore... i thought of sumpfin.


When Happiness Is Based On Lies, It's So Hard To Tell The Truth...

im going to keep that in mind. because i dont kno anymore. today is the last day of 2003, im going ot be happy. no matter what. im going to be happy. reid is coming over after work i think. hopefully hell come. i needa see him
Lauren!
call me
560-2738
i like having the counter, now i can see juss how many people visit my page n how many dont wannaleave me a message.

HahA! Look At this!!!!!


lol thats from xmas eve. reid told me i looked like a whore! well courtney wants on! guess what im doing today tho? gettin muh hair trimmed then dying my hair!!!! ooooh yeah!
Ill write later! muah!

Yesturday Was Christmas!!! it was actually one fo the ebst christmas's ive had in a really long time. i think it was cuz there was hardly n e yelling... lets see
we got up at 630.. opened presents. i got a digi cam! its my own so now ican take sum uhh..."nice pix" n i got lotttttts of pittsburgh clothes. i dont know how my mom did it but she found a ummm wind breaker from aeropostale n it has the pitt panther on it n stuff n then she found pants to match. omg i think its my favorite outfit right now... cept it has summ...white marks on it from later in tha night lol.
k, so..
then i went to pine island for sum breakfast that my aunt bette cooked. shes okay at cooking but i think she had alot of help. on the 23 it was the boat parade everybody was freezin cept me. lol... i got hit on by a canadian n ray said he lost my sn so he wnt over to there house asking if they had it... isnt that pathetic lol... k now ummm then we came home heard a lil yelling cuz well, we really didnt do anything n then people came over. it was nice to see cassie n them over for dinner... again. they seemed to enjoy the new hosue
courtney did my hair cuz i got a hair xrimper but i dint have the patience to let her do the whole thing so half my hair was done. reid came over about... 4 15..
heres our pic



i think its nice. courtney took it at the dinner table. lol.

I actually had a nice Christmas This year! Right now i love everything

then after dinner my mom told me n him to take min for a walk.. lol we were gone for like n hour n barely made it half a mile. lol...
thats where my NEW outfit got worn in.. the stupid fuk.....lol xcuse my french
then i ended up falling asleep on his lap while watching bruce all might at the end of the nigghtt... i twas a great christmas.. hard to believe but it was soo much better compared to last years. i have to go upload the pix off my new cam now, i'll write later. sorry for not updating in a while.
MUAH!
Hit me up on muh celly
239-560-2738
Laur

Hi. I cant wait till' tonight. Reid is taking me to this dinner thinggy. itll be fun
n e wa y
i was supposed to go to the mall...... but my moms on the phn
joe took me n muh sisters to jasons delli so now im alllllllllll full

i acnt wait to go to the mall. i need to find sumpfin.

Sorry if I ain't perfect
Sorry, I don't give a fuck
Sorry I ain't a diva
Sorry, just know what I want
Sorry I'm not a virgin
Sorry, I'm not a slut
I won't let you break me
Think what you want

Hi. I feel SOOOOOOOOOOOOO GoOd!!! Reid came over today and i went over to his house yestruyday. omg i had the best time. at his house this lil kid jabaree is there. hes 3 n he loves me!!!!!! lol........ it was an interesting time at his house haha if u get muh drift. i have a pic of him on my digi cam. but well.. amanda lost the connector to the comp. reid is comign to my house for xmas dinner i cant wait. he was gunna come to church today but he had to watch jabaree at the last minute because his mom got to work too late. ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh well.. haha its sooo nice to have reid! so, today he came over around... 130.. i juss got outta the shower too so i was juss in muh robe n stuff but it was all good. amanda thought we were havin sex or something because his hand was on muh leg. haha oh well. whatever works!
im looking at allllllll tha pix i have on muh comp. some are reaaaaaaly cute and i think i needa put them on my page one day... ne way.. after that him n i had to come downstairs n outta muh room. first she was pissed then reid whent n talkedto her n then so did i so i guess were on like the same terms or whatever. so we stayed downstairs n watched movies. n sum other stuff but llol i wont get into that!!!!!! hahahahah
i feel so. loved when im around him. he makes me feel sooooooooo special

TasteZLykECherrY: theres me n jaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnna
Dreamiin of Him: awwww
TasteZLykECherrY:
TasteZLykECherrY: this guy is juss hott
Dreamiin of Him: LMAO!!!!!!
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
TasteZLykECherrY: isnt he tho???????
Dreamiin of Him: thats so you laur
TasteZLykECherrY: lol!!!! what is
Dreamiin of Him: lol i love you to death
Dreamiin of Him: taking pics of random hott guys
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
TasteZLykECherrY: well hey!!!!
TasteZLykECherrY: if u can, why not!
TasteZLykECherrY: lol



lol thats what muh friends think of me! thats muh ashie!!!!! shes the bestest!!!!!! im in the bestest beyond bestest moood today. i got reids other present too! good old walmart! it works for everything. since reid is all into fishiing n stuf igot him this reaaaaaaaaaly pretty lure and every time he sees it hes supposed to think of me! im sooooooo thoughtful. lol
whoa i juss notivced... 61 member are online n 142 guests are online. how cool is that? lol.... i feel juss sooo.. GREAT !!!! i duno its juss a realyl good feeling. im wearing reids camoflauge hat rigt now.. tomorro im going to his work party. i gotta look all prettttty but i dunt kno what to wear. im such a mess!
TITANIC IS ON!!!!!!!!!
Love always n Forever
Lauren
MuAh!!!!!!!!!!

Reid Came over!!!!!!!!!!!!!! now i fukn hurt! but oioooooooooooooooh well!!!!!!!!!!!!
it was a nice day
we juss like sta there watched a movie then watched tv. my parents didnt care. it was great. he juss left like... 10 mins ago n got here aound........ 2sumpfin. it was nice!
Me n wes are actually talking now. its really nice... haha thats all ima say for now. i got a 100 on my yearbook exam. of course. lol.. n i didnt kno like 20 of the 140 eglish ?... ohw ell
my night was good until nick talked to me.. i want to let him talk to me again but i dotn want to because i dont want to talk to him

nicktommcat: Lauren
nicktommcat: dont go if ur about to
nicktommcat: look, im sorry for the things you think i may have said
nicktommcat: granted i did say some things
TasteZLykECherrY: wtf ...what you said hurt me
TasteZLykECherrY: how the fuck do you have the nerve to talk to me
TasteZLykECherrY: rread what u said
nicktommcat: ok lauren
nicktommcat: i try to apologize and u get pissed
nicktommcat: exactly what i said would happen
nicktommcat: u wanna be that way
nicktommcat: FINE
nicktommcat: i didnt want to not be friends
TasteZLykECherrY: www.woohu.com/~playachika
nicktommcat: i read it alredy
nicktommcat: sorry
nicktommcat: sorry it ahs to be this way
nicktommcat: sorry i said some things
TasteZLykECherrY: some?
TasteZLykECherrY: i told you everything
nicktommcat: sorry bout all that
TasteZLykECherrY: i cryd that whole night
nicktommcat: sorry you cant at lease let me apologize
nicktommcat: but im wasting my time
TasteZLykECherrY: no your not nick
nicktommcat: and moms yelling at me
nicktommcat: so im sorry but i ahve to go
TasteZLykECherrY: :-\
nicktommcat: ill talk to you tomarrow
TasteZLykECherrY: sure you will
nicktommcat: bye
nicktommcat: and i will
TasteZLykECherrY: we'll see
nicktommcat: online
nicktommcat: if ur on
nicktommcat: i prolly wont see u
nicktommcat signed off at 8:33:51 PM.

i dont wanna be hurt by him

i feel so ....... i dont kno....
not...quite...me...

Your words to me just a whisper
Your face is so unclear
I try to pay attention
Your words just disappear.

Oh
'Cause it's always raining in my head
Oh
Forget all the things I should have said.

So I speak to you in riddles
'Cause my words get in my way.
I smoke the whole thing to my head
And feel it wash away.
'Cause I can't take anymore of this
I wanna come apart,
Or dig myself a little hole
Inside your precious heart.

Oh
'Cause it's always raining in my head
Oh
Forget all the things I should have said.

I am nothing more than
a little boy inside
That cries out for attention,
Yet I always try to hide.
'Cause I talk to you like children,
Though I don't know how I feel
But I know I'll do the right thing
If the right thing is revealed

'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said.


i love this song.. thats why im crying...
Nothing in life is good... nothing enless you really think

Hey!!!
Yesturday was muh bday!!! i was agoing to update but well its allllllll fucked up...... this journal i mean..
alot of people at school forgot it was even my birthday..... i awnted to cry......
janna wasnt eveven there...... :'( oh well

i went over reids house! were offically going out now!!!!!!!!!
lol we went swimmin.... you can uhh.... guess what happend there.... my knee is all cut up cuz it kept hittin the side of the pool. lol....
then when we went bak to his house, i got under the covers n was in his sweatshirt so i reaaaaaaaaallllllly warm... n i layed a pillow on his lap.. n yeah that was the last hour that i spent there... as juss with him.. watchin sum dumbass movie.. but it didnt matter... it was such a great birthday!
it feeels exactly the same to be 15.... lol... nothin new.
every body thinx ima straigt egge,, dum ppl.! hahaha..
today i got alot of balloooooons at school cuz janna came back.. she got me the most.. best.. lol i dont kno if that makes sense.. shirt int he world...... it says..
"every game needs a loser" on the front.. n on the back it says...
"and thats why we invited you!"
haha it was funny. im wearin it right now...
i saw reid today when i took min ona walk.. oooh itssoooooo great to see him.... everyone but my mom likes hiim.. i got yelled otu soooooooo bad.. iw as like wtf..... but whatever.! thought id tell you how my bday went
Always
Lauren

Sweet Temptatis0n... Take it or leave it..

I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
but tonight it’s only you and me

i got that outta haileys jrnl.. it, i dunno... reminds me of stuff...
i talked to reid for almost 2 hours already... i felt soo... i duno... greatful that i have a guy like him in my life..i still dont understand how i got him...
maybe kim is right.. i just am a ugly bitch.. i dont kno..
i hate when people bring me down to their pathetic level...
it juss... makes me wanna scream..

ashie tauht me how to make stuff bold.. i was very happy lol.. im wearin the outfit i think ima wear tomorro.. but i duno.. i dont feel so..... i duno what the word is..

reid has to work tomorro.. does that figure... every year my brithday sux.. tomorro will really suck..

These are times when i just want to scream.. i hate birthdays.. i hate december 8th...

1 more day till muh bday.... im not sooo happy about it anymore.. yeah i am because i getta wear sum new clothes.. but i think thats it......
lsat night me and amanda got into it... she was crying so i went online n read her online jrnl at livejournal.com....
she saw me.. and so she ran upstairs, screaming.. she went in my rooom.. took my other diary.. and ripped it to shreads.. i was fine.. nothing major.. then she went into my room again and tried to rip up my other one.. i pinned her against my bed.. she pulled like a chunk of hair out n it hurt... n like punched me.. i was juss holding her down.. she stood there after i let her up and cried... i wanted to kill.... then she called my dad.. he didnt even get what she did to me cuz she didnt tell him.. but i got in trouble n she didnt.. what a bday pres. huh?? started crying and i had ashie over.. so she helped me.. then we picked up all the the pieces.. n we taped them back together lol...
i juss got home from an sga thing.. im so drained.. im gunna go...

i dont kno... im really mad at nick... amandas old bf..... he ruined her 16th birthday... he broke up with her the stupid fuck... my mom sadi she was up crying at 3 in the morning over the fucker... thats the 3rd year in a row her birthday has sucked... the first 2 were cuz of me wearing her clothes n me and daddy fighting... and then nick.. i mean it was her sweet 16... sometimes i wish i could be in amandas place.. just so she wouldnt be so sad all the time..
i rememebr when i used to cry and cry and i thought nothing would ever be right... it seems tahts how amanad is... i kno i dont act like a great sister to her... but i dont kno.. i dont kno how to act since were soo different.. and seh thinks im anorexic n a slut.. she needs to get to kno me better.. im not either of those things... i dont want to be either of those things.. im trying my damndess to gain weight.. im juss not gaining any...
for some reason i feel.. empty... i think im jus tired since i talked to reid forever.. ash is coming over in about an hour... oooooooh god im tired n juss.... BLAH!!
oh yah
i talked to erika kinda.... the tohe rday..
shes like.."why are u talking ot me"...
everyone thinks i hate them... im the kinda person who cant hate someone... sooner or later i just get over what anyone did to me..
kim greenwood tho..if she kisses or touches reid again im going to fukn blow her brains out.. i cant stand the bitch.. the thing that gets me tho is he LETS her kiss him... thats what REAAALYYYYYYYY gets me... oh w.e... he talked about last night having a baby agin.. i dont kno im WAY to young.. can he really love me that much??
im going to wait off on sex.. n if he cant understand that then all he thinks of is what i look like.. personally, i think im the ugliest thing livin n breathin...
i need to talk to reid.. he makes me feel so much better...

You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
When you're not happy
My skies are grey
You'l never know, dear
How much I love you
So please don't take
My sunshine
Away

Hello..
Tonight ash is coming over. her n i havnt chilled since well... like 2 months before i moved! My birthday is on monday... 2 days.. i was really excited but well.. now im not.. its weird.. last night i went out for food... at carabbas.. it was really good.. but yeah that food doesnt agree with muh stomache all tha time tho..buts its ok..
i talked to reid last night for a long time...
he told me ALOT of stuff and i duno... im happy he told me.. but i duno. i love him to death. he actually had me crying last night because i tol dhim so much stufff...
someone posted in my journal about my icon being so dramatic n suicidalish...i mean
people need to read muh jouranl.. thouraouglt to find out... ill write later.. dirty dancing is on..
Lauren

HEY!!!!!!!
today was a nice day at school considering a i slept SOOOOOOOO much tODAY!!!!!
my birthday is in.............. 3 DAYS!!!!! monyda!!!!!!!!! I CANTTTTTTTTTTT WAIT!!!!!!! Hummmmmmmmmm Im tired.............. me n reid are ok.... still havnt REALLY seen him.. but talk to him alot.... i guess that can count for sumpfin cant it?????
were going out to dinner tonight for me n mandas birthday... HOOOORAY!!!!! i might have ashie over.. her n i havnt done anythin together since well...... highschool.. lol...
i talked to emily last night... i seriously thought she was dead.. its such a relief to kno that shes ok..
my journal was messed up yesturday.. haha im trying to get windows XP.. so yeah im out!
LuV aLwAyS
LAUREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Cant wait till muh bday!!!! Finally able to drive!

Hola!
Omg! ok
lets see here
on saturday.. i saw reid at the mall!!!!!! luckyyyyyyyy me. it wasnt that long tho :(... ive beeeeeen talking to him tho its soooooooooooooooooooooooooo great.......
on sunday, i went to burger king to film our video for english with liz n lauren and well that was a different kinda story lol...
ok well lauren was like an hour late.. we got kick outta burger kind because this one lady was being such a bitch.. then we were going to film outsdie of burger king n the camera died...... omg my mom is such a bitch,. she started FLIPPING out on me saying that i was going with someone else and that i was lying abotu where i was gong and who was going to be there.. so i gave liz the phone n liz said sorry but the camera died n my mom said.."thats ok i just dont trust my daughter"
ok thats pathetic she said that to a total stranger... well a stranger to her
i was like BITCH!!!!!! i hated her ....
then we went to dinner lst night. i was very quiet... i had those things in my stomache again. damn they hurt.. but i mean they went away pretty fast so i guess i sholdnt be complainin.
alright now to the sweet part of my thanksgivin break
on sataurday night i was talking to reid from like..... 10 till like 330 lol.. it was so great
n e way
we were talking and he said.....
"i love you so much"
"yeah me too"
"you know... i love you so much id get you pregnant just so i can always be with you"
"wow thats pretty creepy but thats the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me"

omg then he went n told me sum other stuff..... haha cass i know i said i wouldnt write that in here but its sooooooo sweet n its on my mind cuz i juss got off the phn with him!! hehe
i have all county auditions tomorro. im sooooooooo nervous....... haha i took my test today on it.i really didnt do that bad beleieve it or not...
im getting my birthday outfit tonight!!!!
omg its soooooooooooooo adorable. you have no idea. i cant wait to wear it on monday!!!!!!!
7 days!!!!!!!
i lUv YoU!!!!!
lAuReN!

oh i dont kno.... it was so great the bigging of today... iw as soooo looking forward to seeing reid....... but that didnt happen.. im so sick of waiting. i want to see him. i need to see him. i want to be there every night and morning and just look up at him..
he told me that when i go over.. hes just going to hold me.. and kiss me like i have never been kissed before... he said he just wants to be with me... and nothing else...
oh he means so much to me... i cant stand it...
i feel like crying
i have all day since i realized.. yet another day will go by before i see him.. im beinging to think i will never see him
he means os much to me
he has kept me sane through the past week
i need to see himm
i really need to see hi m
its killing me
i feel soooo....
i dont know lost
it feels like i lost everything..
i talked to him forever today kinda.. hes always at fucking work
he needs to fucking quit work. thats all he ever does
work work work work work!
hes 17 for gods sake. he should stop... enjoy life alittle n only work like.. part time... to me, hes full time to that damn jasons delly. just about EVERY night hes at work until 9-10 o clock...
wow im starting to cry..
can a guy that i juss started talking to 2 weeks ago really make me feel this way??
i wish i understood life a little more. i wish i understood why alot of shit happens... but i mean.. im not that lucky
i knew something like this would happen
i knew somethign would get in the way of our relationship.....
i cant let it
im not going to....
i need him in my life
he seems to be the only thing that i care about right now
he has quieted so many of my fears
and made me look up to my dreams..
ill write later.. i need to go help my dad
give me a call... pelase
560-2738
Lauren