>*when i l0ok in the mirr0r i imagine a pretty gurl
`& i think that can*t b me
`til i 0pen my eyes 'nd see the real me

the girl w i t h the br0wn e y e s wh0 has makeup smeared 0n her face

fr0m wipin away the tears

a girl wh0s afraid 0f r e g r e t
a girl wh0*s c0nfused
wh0 can*t make up her mind,
why must i fight my insecurites
why can't i b happy*

I Gave up my world... but you stabbed me in the back...

I'm calm on the outside... but on the inside ive been screaming constantly

I write, not for the sake of glory, not for the sake of same, not for the sake of success, but for the sake of my soul.

<<<<YoU DoNt LiKe WhAt I wRiTe, ToUgH sHiT>>>> ">..I doNt streSs theSe lil qameZ bytchez play cuZ aLL deM hoEs be faKKe aNyWaYs...



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My New Life

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:: 2004 26 June :: 10.30 am
:: Mood: thankful

ashley is ok!! she was in a car accident, but shes ok. i love her to death and i dont kno what id do without her!!! thank god for the miracle... thank god!!!! they almost lost her! but shes ok... my bestfriend ashley is ok..

thank yous o much god!

*Do You love me?*

:: 2004 26 June :: 4.07 am
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: i miss you

Hi there! guess who is finalyl here! i can end my countdown! yes, the one, the only, LIBBY! lol... so far weve gone to the beach twice and sges only been here for 3 days! uesytrday we went iwth billy and dewitt. then it rained and i got sick so they just took us home an dtryed to fix the ghettoness my sister caused on my computer. but they had no luck!! oh well. i hope m en lib can chill with them more. she seems like like them YAY!!!! lol i kept takin the front seat from dew and he got mad but heeeyyy thats alirghty! no body reads my journal anymore and its actually almost a relief! somtimes tho, i wish that my friends would comment me more ((wink wink)) lol...
but anyway
the first day we went to the beach we went with my neighbors and i sumwhat got my tan back after the devestating month i was nota llowed in the usn! but my mom says i cant be in the usn more than 2 hours!! ahh that sucks ass, but i mean its osmething.
on... wed. the day lib came i finally got my peermitt yay!! my signature got kidna cut off tho...
then i also went over michaels hosue before that wonderful time and yeah i fixed his comp cause some files were being gay, and then... uhh... yeah we rode bikes to burger king!! i got sum food and he told me im gunna get fat if i keep eating as much as i do cause lol im always eating!! but hey thats ok, im starting to sound like dewitt. tonight we might go to cicis and bother amanda while she works!! ahh i love bothering jenna!! its hilarious!!
ok well ill write later, libby wants to go paint our toenauils!! yay!!!
Always n Forever
leave me a comment!!!!
i lov emichael!!!

*Do You love me?*

:: 2004 22 June :: 9.37 am
:: Music: back at one

Well, yesterday, i went to the beach with my mom.. and that was pleasant. im trying to get my tan back. then me my sister and the neighbor girls all went to the mall and courtney was wearing make up and i noticed. and lets get this straight, i wasn't allowed to wear makeup until this year and my mom still throws out my makeup because she doesnt want me wearing it. So, courtney wears it and doesn't get in toruble so i got pissed off abotu it. Then, she always takes my clothing so i got pissed off abotu that one too!
so, in the car, right before home, me and courtney get into it so i say that im going to go through her stuff. she locks herself in the room. so i got get one of these key thinggys that unlocks the door and shes sitting up against the door. everytime i get the door a lil open, she fucking started sceaming.. "mommy!" or "Lauren go get mommy" at the top of her lungs. So about 10 minutes of her screaming, my mom flys inside and runsupstairs and bitches at me becasuse she thought i did stuff to her. that wasn't fair to me, so i got pissed. and courtney swore up and down she had NONE of my clothes. and whattyah kno! she had my whole outfit and a couple shirts! stupid liar! then she lied to my mom about wearing makeup! and my mom did nothing about it! i was sooo fucking pissed off. then my mom said i cant get my shit so im sooo fucking pissed still. even tho it was yesterdya. seriosuly, i thought i was going to kill yesterday. lindsey and sidney wanted both of us to go to dinner at their house but i was going to kill her so i didnt go... they had good food too1 i didnt eat didnner because my mom is too busy trying to fatten me up when im not fucking hungry but shes making me eat every fucking second of the day! i dont want to look like counrtey and amanda is just as thin as i am, if not skinnier, she just has a bigger waist. so whatevr.
Libby comes tomorro! and im supposed to get my thing tomorro too but i dont know if im allowed now! ahh it pisses me off royally!
did you kno that there is a program that cna get the password to anything??? yeah this one person got it! joel! he used a program and hacked into my journal! hmm i hope not everyone can do that! and i hope you guys who are reading this hasn't given anything out!
oh yeah--- get this,
with my new sn i made a new profile and carlos's girlfriend just wont leave me alone! shelooks at fuking evreything because she has no life! i mean she even took the "do you kno me" test! lol... what is up with that?? well yeah im done. i need to go clean the house for muh bestestfriend int he whole wide world to come because i have softball practice tonight if i feel good
Love Always

1 *To pieces!* | *Do You love me?*

:: 2004 21 June :: 11.21 am
:: Music: milkshake

well hi.
it has been a few days. libby comes in 2 days... the same day that i get my permitt!! wooo!! michael wants me to go over to his house todya but im going to get a tan! because of the sn... TanBi0tch, i gotta live it up.!
I havnt seen michael for about aweek, but yeah.. i dont kno when i will.. hes going on vaacation on july 6th for like 10 days to some place.. i dont remmeber hwere...
Saturday night i spent the night at my neighbors, we had a blast!! there lil bro Dane is the sweetest lil 2 y/o in the world!!! he stayed up till like 11 with us watching scary movie, and then i finalyl put him to bed by picking him up and rocking him until he fell asleep, then me and lindsey took him up stairs and he slept!
lets ee... yesturday was fathers day, i kept eating and eating and yeh it was interesitng. lol we had sundays!!! thats what my daddy wanted to do because he wasnt home all day... its hard to believe i only have 3 more fathers day here and well, then its all gone! Mommys shoppin right now and then we will prolly go to the beach!
i wanna look like the girl in the backround of my journal! i think i like this layout, ill keep it fora while, but i might keep chanign the song because i cant find a song to completely go with the thing.. os yeah!
i think im done going on about my life... i needa go stick on my swimsuit!
Love Always

*Do You love me?*

:: 2004 19 June :: 12.31 pm
:: Mood: hungover
:: Music: freak a leak

HOly shit! okay, i HAVE to tell about my.. uhh.. interesting night last night!
alritght, it all started at prolly uhhh 3 yesturday wen i finally got to nicole's! btw she is turning into like one of my best friends.. if she isnt already!
so yeah we didnt have like anything to do so we went to the mall for a couple hours and i saw chad odem! he looks sooo sooo different! but anyways
then we got ready to go somewhere even tho we still didnt have anywhere to go.
then, we were talking to these one guys who hada buncha peopel over but they sounded stoned and we called this one guy Chris! and his friends!! so they came, we saw, we met, then we left.
we ended up toging to a party on the beach with a whole hell of a lotta college guys! wooo that was fun! but the thing was, i got completely wasted, fell dowstairs and stuff and yeah it didnt end up being good at all. i had to be carried like everywhere. i feel so bad about nicole and stuff... i mean i dont want to ruin her friendships with anyone and she sat up with me all night long and... AHHH! its so scary! Then he rborther Chris came home and he finally got me to sleep somewhere i guess around 300 ... so yeah.. my head hurtsd like a bitch... i juss wanna tell nicole im sooo sooo sooo sosryr but i mean theres not enough words ti descrubbe how sorry i am to her... i hope she reads this! im sorry michael!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for worrying you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Leave me Some Comments

1 *To pieces!* | *Do You love me?*

:: 2004 17 June :: 1.47 am
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: behind blue eyes

today i was supposed to over to michaels house but my mom never got home until late... i mean shes still not fucking home! shes been gone since like 10 o clock too! n its almost 2! tonight im going to go ot softball practice at the school. AJ didnt call me until yesturday to tell me but it started on tuesdya! what a fucker! honestly! hes so fucking gay!i hate him asa coach! he could have at least had the curtosy to clal me so i coulda gone on tuesday, but i found out from lindsday! im not saying i can do much at practice but i mean it woulda been nice to have been there to see what were gunna be doing....
amanda bruno is once again mad at me. because of the whole jessica situation. poeple seriously need to just grow the fuck up! dude, its hard to type when my nails are long! i just noticed that because i type witht eh tip of my nails and its starting to feel realyl weird! lol i was oging to print off my whole entired journal but i think thats a lil too hard!
for some reaosn i feel lkike crying. i dont even kno why! libby come sin 6 days! maybe shell make me feel better. and i get my permitt so ill be able to practice my driving without my dad complaining and saying that i dont even have my permitt yet.
i need to complete some of the AP Euro stuff soon. i mean im definatly procrastinating about it, let me tell yah! i still gotta read the books, but i kno i cant use spark notes becaue the packet asks specific questions and my like mrs. copeland will ask specific ?s ona test or something after summer is over..
well i think im going to go jump in the pool because i dont kno, i just feel like shit and ill race mindy across. i need to get sum excercise before tonight! ahh itll be oh so much fun!
Love always
Leave me sum Comments!

1 *To pieces!* | *Do You love me?*

:: 2004 16 June :: 11.18 am
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: ricky lake musiC

Hi. i was supposed to go with mommy and the neighbor lady to lunch today but mommy changed her mind so im no longer going :'(
last night i saw michael. We saw this one Chronicals of Riddick movie, so it didnt involve hardly any walking at all (( thank god! )) The other night i saw Nicole and yeah we had fun! we went to bed somewhere around 3 o'clock!
Courtney is at sunsplash right now because she already asked Sid to go with her. But yeah i feel so sleepy!
ill write later
i love you

*Do You love me?*

:: 2004 15 June :: 1.01 am
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: freak a leak

holy shit read this converstation!

TasteZLykEKandY: whore
TasteZLykECherrY: why am i a whore?
TasteZLykEKandY: go do another one!
TasteZLykEKandY: cuz u bang the whole world
TasteZLykECherrY: lol i do?
TasteZLykEKandY: oh ya
TasteZLykEKandY: even me!
TasteZLykECherrY: yup
TasteZLykEKandY: nasty whore
TasteZLykEKandY: wit herpies
TasteZLykECherrY: yep
TasteZLykEKandY: yeast infection bitch
TasteZLykECherrY: yep
TasteZLykEKandY: whore
TasteZLykEKandY: whore
TasteZLykECherrY: yep
TasteZLykEKandY: whore
TasteZLykECherrY: uep
TasteZLykEKandY: whore
TasteZLykECherrY: yep
TasteZLykEKandY: whore
TasteZLykECherrY: yep
TasteZLykEKandY: whore
TasteZLykECherrY: yep
TasteZLykEKandY: whore
TasteZLykECherrY: yep
TasteZLykEKandY: gay ass
TasteZLykECherrY: yep
TasteZLykEKandY: whore
TasteZLykECherrY: yep
TasteZLykEKandY: whore
TasteZLykECherrY: yep
TasteZLykEKandY: whore
TasteZLykECherrY: yep
TasteZLykECherrY: im just as much a whore as you are:-):-):-)
TasteZLykEKandY: haha thats funny u wish someone was as whoreish as u r
TasteZLykEKandY: i am nothin like u
TasteZLykECherrY: really? cool.
TasteZLykECherrY: i guess you're right.
TasteZLykECherrY: you win.
TasteZLykECherrY: yes i did.
TasteZLykECherrY: so many.
TasteZLykECherrY: everybody.
TasteZLykEKandY: I KNO
TasteZLykECherrY: are you done trying to make me look bad?
TasteZLykEKandY: NOPE
TasteZLykECherrY: oh then can you hurry up?
TasteZLykECherrY: ok? done yet?
TasteZLykEKandY: NOPE
TasteZLykECherrY: yes that's me. i am a poser.
TasteZLykECherrY: i want to be just like you.
TasteZLykECherrY: wait a sec!
TasteZLykECherrY: hey! i have a new s/n!
TasteZLykECherrY: TasteZLykEKanddY
TasteZLykECherrY: you should IM it.
TasteZLykEKandY: I HATE U
TasteZLykECherrY: yes i am.
TasteZLykECherrY: yes i am.
TasteZLykECherrY: are you finished yet?
TasteZLykECherrY: you're wasting your own time.
TasteZLykEKandY is away at 9:41:30 AM.
TasteZLykECherrY: lol yep

Auto response from TasteZLykEKandY: LAUREN SMITH IS A BIG ASS WHORE!
TasteZLykEKandY (12:37:09 PM): U SLEPT WIT SO MANY PPL
TasteZLykECherrY (12:37:13 PM): yes i did.

TasteZLykECherrY: back yet?

Auto response from TasteZLykEKandY: LAUREN SMITH IS A BIG ASS WHORE!
TasteZLykEKandY (12:37:09 PM): U SLEPT WIT SO MANY PPL
TasteZLykECherrY (12:37:13 PM): yes i did.

why do people think im such a whore? lol! its so funny!
oh tastezlykekandy is monica harrison!
oh yeah gues what?!?!?
i made up a screen name to copy hers..
TASTEZLYKEKANDDY lol its JUST like hers!!!
ill write later!
8 days till Libby comes down and 8 days until i get my permitt!!!!

1 *To pieces!* | *Do You love me?*

:: 2004 14 June :: 10.41 am
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: behind blue eyes


Well after a day of crying, i finally feel as if i can write something more happy. Around 8 o'clock last night, i just was amused by everything and antyhing! it was realy weird, i was in the best mood i was ever in all summer, except screaming at mexicans and throwing eggs at signs with muh buds!
Me and Michael have to work alot of things out and i htink we can do it, but then again... he needs to earn my trust back. to get my trust is hard now because so many people break that trust with me. For some reason it feels like my world is slowly falling lately... it seems like when things get tough, it gets tougher. its even summer. maybe all the drama from the last weeks of school is getting to me. i didnt let it and i act like such a tough person, but in all reality, im just a scared little girl who just wants to hide from the facts and live in her dream world.
i think i like that.. what i just wrote to describe my life, its the truth. ihate dealign with the truth because well, the truth hurts.... lsat night i had a converstation with kelsey griner. some stupid girl who was trying to bitch me out so i got on my favorite thing now, AIM remix and had my own bitching out at her...
here let me show you the WHOLE converstation! its long...

lovemesurfer004: where do you get off talking about someones brother who comitted suicide?
TasteZLykECherrY: lol fuck off.
lovemesurfer004: this is kelsey griner by the way
lovemesurfer004: wow that one really hurt
lovemesurfer004: and it was real original
lovemesurfer004: seriously though? can you please just please explain to me why you think you have the right to talk about someone elses family who died?
lovemesurfer004: oh maybe you just dont care.......maybe thats just it
TasteZLykECherrY: lol i didnt talk about it, she wants me to change my damn life for her, she can kiss my fucking ass:-):-):-)
TasteZLykECherrY: lol i dont!
lovemesurfer004: why do you think its soo damn funny?
TasteZLykECherrY: lol cause i dont give a damn what people think of me anymore!
lovemesurfer004: change your life........its a word on your profile!
lovemesurfer004: im sorry if thats your life
TasteZLykECherrY: i love my life:-)
TasteZLykECherrY: i have fun with it
TasteZLykECherrY: yah gotta problem?! TO FUCKING BAD!
lovemesurfer004: im sorry if you changing a word changes your life
lovemesurfer004: i do have problem
TasteZLykECherrY: lol good talk to someone else
lovemesurfer004: no i will talk to you, you;re the one who creates all the drama!
TasteZLykECherrY: her brother killed himself, i really dont care! thats none of my business
TasteZLykECherrY: oh shut the fuck up
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
lovemesurfer004: then dont talk about him to her!
TasteZLykECherrY: i didn
TasteZLykECherrY: she brought him up
lovemesurfer004: you did!
TasteZLykECherrY: nope sorry
lovemesurfer004: nooooooooooyoudid
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
TasteZLykECherrY: ok
TasteZLykECherrY: please tell me how i brought him up
lovemesurfer004: its on the internetfor everyone to see
TasteZLykECherrY: whats it say?
TasteZLykECherrY: JESSICAS WRIGHTS BORTHER KILLED HIMSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TasteZLykECherrY: LIKE THAT?
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
TasteZLykECherrY: ill do it
lovemesurfer004: youre going to rot in hell and i hope i see every minute of it
TasteZLykECherrY: cause i dont give a damn
TasteZLykECherrY: lol:-)
lovemesurfer004: and you call yourself a christian
TasteZLykECherrY: yep i do!
TasteZLykECherrY: ima christian and damn proud of it
TasteZLykECherrY: god forgives my sins
lovemesurfer004: haha then you might want to check up on that
TasteZLykECherrY: so i dont dwell on the past anymore
TasteZLykECherrY: i leave that to you guys
TasteZLykECherrY: :-):-):-):-)
lovemesurfer004: then your the stupidest person ive ever met
TasteZLykECherrY: yessss ma'am
TasteZLykECherrY: i am:-)
lovemesurfer004: im not "dwelling on the past" im asking you where yo ucome off making fun of someone
TasteZLykECherrY: lol!!!!!!!! now im making fun of it!
TasteZLykECherrY: lol yeah i am now
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
lovemesurfer004: relaly its notttt worth talking to you - youre an
TasteZLykECherrY: yes i am
lovemesurfer004: have fun with your messed up life
TasteZLykECherrY: i am an idiot!
TasteZLykECherrY: i will have fun with my messed up life
lovemesurfer004: really congrats
TasteZLykECherrY: becaue i dont give a shit!
TasteZLykECherrY: :-):-):-):-):-):-) :-):-):-):-):-):-) :-):-):-):-):-):-) :-):-):-):-):-)
lovemesurfer004: wow youre so cool
TasteZLykECherrY: i hope u have had a joy talking to me and making me a part of your thoughts:-D
TasteZLykECherrY: i appreciate it
TasteZLykECherrY: I LOVE YOU!
TasteZLykECherrY: BYE!
lovemesurfer004: haha your really funny if you think i was thinking of you - i was thinking of jess when i did this. i didnt do this for you bitch i did it for jess and rikki
TasteZLykECherrY: well cool
TasteZLykECherrY: im glad
TasteZLykECherrY: adios amigo!
lovemesurfer004: amigo wow wrong
TasteZLykECherrY: hmmm
TasteZLykECherrY: oh yeah
TasteZLykECherrY: amiga!
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
lovemesurfer004: um nope
TasteZLykECherrY: i dont kno what the world would be
TasteZLykECherrY: chica!
lovemesurfer004: how about i hate you try that one
TasteZLykECherrY: muchacha!
lovemesurfer004: can you say that in spanish bitch?
TasteZLykECherrY: oh but i love you:-)
TasteZLykECherrY: lol lemme fina translattor so i can
lovemesurfer004: im so glad that you doooo
lovemesurfer004: alright
lovemesurfer004: go waste your time
TasteZLykECherrY: lol you wasted your time im'in me
TasteZLykECherrY: TasteZLykECherrY: how do u say i hate u in spanish
cubanodelbejuco: te odio
lovemesurfer004: no i didnt
TasteZLykECherrY: thats i hate u in spanish1
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
lovemesurfer004: alright well te odio!
TasteZLykECherrY: :-)
TasteZLykECherrY: gracias
TasteZLykECherrY: yo quiero tu!
lovemesurfer004: \and its yo lo odio for your information
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
TasteZLykECherrY: i got that fromma spanish guy
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
lovemesurfer004: did yo ufuck him too?
TasteZLykECherrY: yep
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
lovemesurfer004: i got it from a translator
TasteZLykECherrY: all the time!
lovemesurfer004: lol im real glad yo uthink its funny
TasteZLykECherrY: me 2
TasteZLykECherrY: im havin a good time
lovemesurfer004: awesome
lovemesurfer004: ride him hard bitch
TasteZLykECherrY: hehe ill ride michael hard just for u:-):-):-):-)
lovemesurfer004: go get him killer?
TasteZLykECherrY: and scream.... kelsey kelsey!
lovemesurfer004: alright
lovemesurfer004: you do that
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
lovemesurfer004: oh its funnnny lemme tell you
TasteZLykECherrY: it is to me
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
TasteZLykECherrY: maybe not to you because you are oh so pissed off
TasteZLykECherrY: but me on the other hand am having a shitload of fun this summer
TasteZLykECherrY: you guys just cant stop talkin about me can yah?
lovemesurfer004: im not pissed off i think its really funny what a dumb ass you are to make fun of people you dont know
TasteZLykECherrY: nope i dont kno her
TasteZLykECherrY: i dont wanna kno her
TasteZLykECherrY: i dont give a shit about her or her dead brother
TasteZLykECherrY: for all i care they can both kill themselves... oh wait! one already did;-);-)
lovemesurfer004: lauren just fuck you you need to rot in hell
lovemesurfer004: and i hope rikkis there to watch you
TasteZLykECherrY: with her dead brother!!!!!!!!!!
TasteZLykECherrY: lol!!!!!!!!
lovemesurfer004: hah oh wait hes not going to hell
TasteZLykECherrY: he killed himself
lovemesurfer004: and
TasteZLykECherrY: and you call yourself a christian
lovemesurfer004: youve tried
TasteZLykECherrY: tisk tisk
TasteZLykECherrY: yes ma'am i have
lovemesurfer004: i am a christian im not the one who killed myself
TasteZLykECherrY: im livin im breathin
lovemesurfer004: but yo utried
lovemesurfer004: so youre the same
TasteZLykECherrY: im here to make anyone who doesnt like me .... uhhh... lol i dont kno
lovemesurfer004: but hes better because he wasnt a whore!
TasteZLykECherrY: nope i go to church im forgiven:-):-)
TasteZLykECherrY: lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well i am
TasteZLykECherrY: get over it
lovemesurfer004: god doesnt forgive you for all your sins
lovemesurfer004: rikki went to church too!
TasteZLykECherrY: lol cool
TasteZLykECherrY: hes also dead
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
lovemesurfer004: and
TasteZLykECherrY: kno what?
TasteZLykECherrY: this is between me and this rikki guy
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
lovemesurfer004: what lauren
lovemesurfer004: no its not
TasteZLykECherrY: it isnt?
lovemesurfer004: when you talk aboutmy friend its between me to
TasteZLykECherrY: oooooohlol since when did u get involced
TasteZLykECherrY: lol hes dead
lovemesurfer004: since jessica is my friend
TasteZLykECherrY: i will gladly talk abotu someone i dont kno:-):-)
lovemesurfer004: and i like my friends and i AM NICE TO THEM
lovemesurfer004: then you are stupid
lovemesurfer004: and boring
TasteZLykECherrY: i am stupid
lovemesurfer004: mhmm
TasteZLykECherrY: and im boring... cept in bed
lovemesurfer004: and your point
lovemesurfer004: wow so your just not good at all
lovemesurfer004: i hope youre good
TasteZLykECherrY: lol!
TasteZLykECherrY: i dunno
TasteZLykECherrY: ask all of fort myers lol im such a whore remember
lovemesurfer004: dunno what everything
TasteZLykECherrY: so obviously alot of people have done it with me!
lovemesurfer004: you sure are
TasteZLykECherrY: ask um if im good then
TasteZLykECherrY: say hey!
lovemesurfer004: i guess so
TasteZLykECherrY: did yah fuck lauren smith?!
lovemesurfer004: where is this coming from ?
TasteZLykECherrY: lol i dont kno
TasteZLykECherrY: the top of my head
TasteZLykECherrY: whatever letter hit the keyboard first
TasteZLykECherrY: ooooo i love the way you love me!!!!!11
lovemesurfer004: oh thats cool.....rot in hell
TasteZLykECherrY: thats ina country song!
lovemesurfer004: umm wrong im must be..........
TasteZLykECherrY: so is.. that red dirt road...
lovemesurfer004: te lo odio bitch
lovemesurfer004: what
TasteZLykECherrY: you too:-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-)
TasteZLykECherrY: wait
TasteZLykECherrY: quiero tu!
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
TasteZLykECherrY: i changed my mind
lovemesurfer004: oh then come and get me bitch
TasteZLykECherrY: i love you i hate you i just can get around you
TasteZLykECherrY: nahh thats alrighty
lovemesurfer004: cant get around me?
lovemesurfer004: are you saying im fat?
TasteZLykECherrY: yes! lol
TasteZLykECherrY: huge
TasteZLykECherrY: disgustingly huge
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
lovemesurfer004: yep im totally enormous
lovemesurfer004: speel that one
TasteZLykECherrY: yup me 2
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
TasteZLykECherrY: ima cow!
lovemesurfer004: oh and i dont have 30 pounds form a baby either sosry im not you~!
TasteZLykECherrY: lol!!!!!!!!!!
lovemesurfer004: hay i got a new screenname - abortionqueen!
TasteZLykECherrY: i hada baby?!
TasteZLykECherrY: cool!
TasteZLykECherrY: lol yup im the queen of abortions too
lovemesurfer004: thats what the screen name means
TasteZLykECherrY: lol really?! i never woulda guessed
lovemesurfer004: well you obviously didnt understand
TasteZLykECherrY: woooo i hada baby!
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
lovemesurfer004: woo i am having too much fun with your dumnb ass i never though people are this stupid guess i foundo ne
TasteZLykECherrY: whats its name!!!!!!!!!1
TasteZLykECherrY: boy or girl!
lovemesurfer004: oh getting your big bad asss boyfriend oooo
lovemesurfer004: goodbye
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
TasteZLykECherrY: no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dont leave me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im scared of the dark!!!!!!!!!1
TasteZLykECherrY: TasteZLykECherrY: this convo is hilarious!
GEXPOSFAN13: that kelsey griner?
TasteZLykECherrY: yeah!
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
GEXPOSFAN13: im iming her
TasteZLykECherrY: lol@
TasteZLykECherrY: kung foo fightin!
TasteZLykECherrY: lol~
TasteZLykECherrY: thats what yer icon reminds me of
lovemesurfer004: ?
lovemesurfer004: you
lovemesurfer004: oh wait your not hot
TasteZLykECherrY: kung foo fightin?
TasteZLykECherrY: no im not
lovemesurfer004: oh wow your intelligent
TasteZLykECherrY: IM ON FIRE!
TasteZLykECherrY: lalalfallalalalalalalal
TasteZLykECherrY: fa la la la la lala la la
TasteZLykECherrY: deck the halls with bells of holly!
TasteZLykECherrY: tis the season to be jolly
TasteZLykECherrY: fa la la la la la la la la
TasteZLykECherrY: follow me in merry measure
TasteZLykECherrY: fa la la la la la la la la la
lovemesurfer004: wow you are so lame
TasteZLykECherrY: troll the ancicent yoll tide treasure
TasteZLykECherrY: fa la la la la lala la LA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Previous message was not received by lovemesurfer004 because of error: User lovemesurfer004 is not available.

See how pathetic people can be? yes i kno i was not mature in that but damn! people need to learn to mind their own FUCKINGBUSINESS! haha i guess its a good thign that this is passworded or people would bring this to school 2 months from now! lol... for the record, i never said anything about jessicas brother committing suicide. she did because of the the suciide thing in my profile, she wanted me to change it because HER brother committed suicide. well sorry hunnie, but the thing in my proifle is telling people not to... and to think about the consequences... yeah i kno im a hypocrit, but i want others who maybe arent to read what i wrote in it..
well i think im done rambling on, i need to find something to do today! im bored as hell... onf riday me and courtni are prolly gunna do stuff because her bday is on thursday! who knows we oculd get trashed! lol.. that would be so much fun1 i really need a day to just get out and have a shitload of fun and not care what happens!

thank you guys so much for the comments yestryday. they really meant alot to me... you really have no idea. its a nice feeling when you know you have people that care for you! its actually, the best feeling in the world!
I love you guys

When Happiness Is Based On Lies, It's So Hard To Tell The Truth...

3 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*

:: 2004 13 June :: 11.16 am
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: behind blue eyes

Well, i couldnt sleep well last night, despite the medicine im on. the song playing is making me cry. Billy told me what song to play and i had to look for an icon to math the scheme. i dont thi nk im going to get rid of the icon for a while because i dont give a damn about my reputation anymore. I mean alex just told another person we had sex, and told them about greg too! why cant he just keep his mouth shut? do i have to be the virgin everyone wants me to be? do i have to be little miss innocent all the time? do i have to hide myself from people just to fit their expectations? it makes no sense to me. i hate hearing of he past..

5 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*

:: 2004 12 June :: 6.26 am
:: Mood: SICK
:: Music: IM SO SICK!


And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
and sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

1 *To pieces!* | *Do You love me?*

:: 2004 10 June :: 10.45 am
:: Mood: energetic
:: Music: repsepct

well im in a lot better mood! im going to the mall!! woo hooo! thenpeople from church are comin over for some bible study. im watching maury and it has these lil 10 year olds who could outsing prolly half the people on american idol! damn this one girl is WAy good!
i dont understand why people bother to straighten their hair! they can just take mine! i mean... i hate it! its sooo straight! i mean sometimes i like it but most of the time i hate it! ahhh its sooo dumb! i want kinda curly hair! i wish i was one of those preppy cheerleaders that could look good in anything! FAT CHANCE! haha oh well!
Aim Remix is such a cool device. lol... i lik eit. it does some magical stuff! wow look how immature poeple are..
SexiLilBoriqua66: hey
TasteZLykECherrY: hello, who might you be.
SexiLilBoriqua66: jessica wright
SexiLilBoriqua66: do u remember me i was on ur softball team
TasteZLykECherrY: ummm.. nope
TasteZLykECherrY: doesn't ring a bell.
SexiLilBoriqua66: um well i was on ur softball team
TasteZLykECherrY: sorry:-\
SexiLilBoriqua66: i was on the royals with u
TasteZLykECherrY: oh thats fun
SexiLilBoriqua66: um yeah sure it is
SexiLilBoriqua66: but um do u know lindsey petrizzo
TasteZLykECherrY: nope
SexiLilBoriqua66: its carlos's g/f
TasteZLykECherrY: oh, i still dont kno her
TasteZLykECherrY: all i know is OF her
SexiLilBoriqua66: well what do u know of her
TasteZLykECherrY: carlos is going out with her! lol
SexiLilBoriqua66: oh i see
SexiLilBoriqua66: do u like er
SexiLilBoriqua66: her**
TasteZLykECherrY: i dont know her
SexiLilBoriqua66: oh i see
SexiLilBoriqua66: well do u like carlos still ???
TasteZLykECherrY: as a friend.
TasteZLykECherrY: sorta
SexiLilBoriqua66: why the hell do u still call him ???

TasteZLykECherrY: lol cause im his friend.
SexiLilBoriqua66: what does sorta mean then
TasteZLykECherrY: im mad at him at the moment.
TasteZLykECherrY: i will call him whether you like it or not.
TasteZLykECherrY: im done now.
SexiLilBoriqua66: why the fuck would i care but lindsey doesn;t want u calling him
SexiLilBoriqua66: and u have no reason to call him because he doens;t even like ur stank ass
SexiLilBoriqua66: and if u are trying to fuck shit up u can;t
SexiLilBoriqua66: and which one of those on ur icon are u ......the slut
SexiLilBoriqua66: obviously u aint got shit to say
SexiLilBoriqua66: why the fuck wont u talk
SexiLilBoriqua66: u gonna go and get one of ur guy friends to try and scare me
SexiLilBoriqua66: fuck u then

lol people get SO when you ignore them! i love it! kk well im done for now
i love you michael!
Oh brad- i still cant believe u let yer cousin talk to me! chris griffin is his name?! lol that sounds like something scott curry would do! lol

5 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*

:: 2004 9 June :: 11.37 am
:: Mood: relaxed
:: Music: ricky lake music

wow am i tired. and im losing my voice so yeah i guess michaels gunna get sick. im watching ricky lake! its about gay marriages! i think they should be bale to married and do what they want because its not my ass getting hurt, its theirs. and i dont exactly believe in lesbians because all they do is put on a strap on and use it jut like a dick. i dont get it. i mean sure, all girls are gunna kiss another girl one time in their life. i just dont get it.
alot of people are begging me for the movies again. i think because daniel craig was over with dj and chas n them and yeah they were talking abotu it. well i think im off.
my mom hatesme writing. ill write later because yeah... i dont wanna get in trouble. i have to tell you about how big ofa fight me and her got into last night over a $13 swimsuit. my family is so fucking cheap!

2 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*

:: 2004 7 June :: 11.50 am
:: Mood: peaceful
:: Music: rest inpieces

WEll things seemed to be a lil more settled with me n michael, i spoke with him for a few hours last night, most of it was crying... most for no reason at all.
i found my folder of poems that i used to write when i was depressed or soemthing, i think im gong to start that up again. i need an outlet besides my friends.
Libbiny comes down in 16, yes 16 DAYs! im so excited. we;ll havea lota fun, like making hamtaros n naming flys george! lol...
i dunno whatd i do without the girl! BESTFRIENDS SINCE KINDERGARDEN!!! not many people retain frienships as long as we have, especially when you live 1300 miles from eachother. well anyway, i had to update today to inform you about those things. people are still asking me for hte password. i mean cant u figure out i dont want you reading it if i i didnt post the password all over the internet. i just hope you guys, the ones who are reading this ritght now dont give it out. im not saign you will but who knows, it could slip your mind and BAM! it gets let out and the world is reading my journal ocne again....
oh yeah before i go i wanna tell you about a conversation i had with someonelast night,
he was sad so i told him that the whole freshman, now sophmore class hates me. and he said"hah no they dont" and i said yeah, after i made jenna cry. and he said, "they're just jackasses who don't know you." and then i forget the other part then someohow i asked him "you believed the rumors at first didnt you?" and he said, "well yeah but ive had rumors about me before, and i thought about it"
i guess it means others are starting to think about the things that are spread around aboutme... i mean come on a 4 hours video of me masterbating?.... thats bullshit! id even get bored! lol
i love michael!

1 *To pieces!* | *Do You love me?*

:: 2004 6 June :: 8.37 am
:: Mood: irritated

me and michael have been fightin alot lately... im scared somethings wrong...

*Do You love me?*

:: 2004 6 June :: 2.02 am
:: Mood: loved
:: Music: troubled water

i cant wait until july 23!!! its going ot be a blast! i had a meeting today with church about it... and omg me and amanda are gunna get into soo0o0o 0much trouble! i mean 36000 people and were aloud to be out until 130 everyday! ahhh itll be fun! Hmm.... im sooooo excited. i need summore god in my life. today in bible school, like in the morning, we talked about the evils andstuff in life and why some peopel blame god for there wrong doings.. and how bad the world is nowadays and how terrible things can be, but whenever u think about the bad, thik about god. he wants you to learn yourself, not from anyone else... i dont kno i just, liked the lesson today. oh yeah guess what!
I GET TO TEACH THE LITTLE PEOPLE HOW TO SING AND DANCE ALL BY MYSELF! for VBS! omg its going to be fun! me and amanda ((my sister)) ppretty much did it alone last yr, but this year, its totally up to us! no help from any adults! SCorE! The theme is Lava kidna stuff because Gods love Flows... haha get it?! well yeah i got the CD from joe today so i can learn the words to the songs, then i learn the dance moves to it too! haha more pictures of me to be put around the church! yay!!
on friday, everybody is going to orlando but i dont think im going... ohw ell i guess, i wanna go tho! Hmmm what else is going on thats involved with church?
oh yes! wait.. i just forgot! lol!
well, i love michael! and im gunna go!

*Do You love me?*

:: 2004 5 June :: 9.44 am
:: Mood: peaceful
:: Music: spongebob

Well well well!
long time no update! i have heard sooo soo many peopel are pissed off that this journal is password protected and hardly any one can get in! and now i kno all the annonymous comments are from my friends! its so grand! i just hope no one gives out the password!
i spent the past few days in orlando. it was quite an interesting place. all i did was sleep tho.. i guess you could say i was...sick? ahh, i dont kno but thats the story im going to stick with... i got a necklase from my mom.. it says Lauren and it hasa mickey mouse charm dangling offa it!
oh yes i wanna tell of the events that took place here over those unfortunate days i was gone.
Sabrina continues to ask michael about the reason he is going out with me since, let me quote, "everyone likes you but no one likes her."
Michaels and my relationship is the MOST talked about relationship out of ANYONE!... and wanna kno what else i realized?
I AM THE MOST POPULAR GIRL AT FT MYERS! maybe not ina good way, but i am the person everybody WANTS to talk about, the person everyone DOES talk about and makes it a part of their every thought about how much ofa slut i am. Michael helped me to realize this! but hey, its true. I am the center of most all the girls at fort myersg risl

my mommas up ill write later

5 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*

:: 2004 1 June :: 3.19 am
:: Mood: burnt
:: Music: behind blue eyes

Ahh! ima TAN BI-OTCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
haha i went to the beach for i hitnk 4 hours today! boy it was such a nice time!!!!!! these one guys were hitting on me i think, it was funny. i saw jordan, tony, n fish, but they kinda blew me off! haha oh well! toniite ima go out! tomorro ima have michael over and itll all be swell! lol!!!!!!!
I GOT STUNG BY A JELLYFISH!!!!!!!!!! kk i was in the ocean with belin((my neighbors lil boy)) and he was playin in the water and i was just makin sure he didnt drown... and all ofa sudden sumpfin hit me and well it hurt like a MOFO! then i got out and had these really bad lil lines going across the back of my leg and my mom made me put sand and stuff on it but DAMN does it hurt. im awaiting this vasaline and sum other stuff to make the sting come out of it! but i was still brave enuff to go back n the water after i put ice on my leg for almost an hour! it feels like my forehead is burnt! haha it prolly is! lol.... i had such a nice time! i wwanna do it again really soon! so i think i will! YAY! alrghty! ima done!
Love Always
ill update you on my wonderful night tonite!

3 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*

:: 2004 31 May :: 2.41 am
:: Mood: quixotic
:: Music: everything

what the hell does quixotic mean? lol oh well, im just gunna guess, so thats how im feeling! before i went to my" favorite" place on earth, i took mindy loo to the dog beach! ahh she loved it! she was jubulently galloping throught the water and had a smile on her face the whole time! she is more peopel friendly then dog! haha shes scared of other dogs shes a baby! last night i went to the beach! boy that was fun! haha.. SKINNY DIPPING IN THE OCEAN!!! lol.. dont ask.. i disovered the song "behind blue eyes" is such a pretty song. i attempted to download it, but well, it didnt work.
my puppy looks so dumb right now! shesa furball! AHHhhhh silly silly furball! my shoulders are burnt from the beach and i hurt really bad... i dont feel like doing anything tonight! so i dont think i willl! i might tell people to come see me cause haha i dont feel like walking or going anywhere!!
Well, im done for now! ill write later

3 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*

:: 2004 30 May :: 5.58 am
:: Mood: creative
:: Music: the last song

i watched mean girls with my mom and dad today! it actually kinda describes my life in an odd way... the person who made the comment about peopel watching mean girls REALLY made me wanna see it and im glad i did. except the ending is nothing i thought itd be... it ended up to be a happy story, but for me, it hasnt. i took on the roles as both regina and cady! both girls.. and i dunno it opend my eyes to how much ofa bitch ive been to my old friends, how much ive changed. i guess once u roll with a new croud, everything changes, who knows...
well oh yeah!
now that this is password protected ((GO ME))
i can tell you about what happened with me n michael on the couch yesturdya!he gotta pitcure phn, so yeha he was taking some pictures! lol ill leave it at that! I LOVE YOU MICHAEL! ALL THE PIX ARE JUST FOR YOU BABY!!! no, they werent nude, lol i was ina swimsuit! lol..
i love michael forever!

*Do You love me?*

:: 2004 30 May :: 10.14 am
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: burn

HEyyy there!
My dog woke me up this mornin, cause my mom let her in my room at approximatley uhh.. 930ish! lol. My lil sis had like 5 people sleep over and these guys are Krazii! it was funny, court just did some really dumb lil dance thing to "burn" lol its hysterical!
The party yesturdya was interestin! michael was here and so was my dad's bosse's son, so me michael n ryan went out on the canoe and michael kept trying to tip it over so ryan went withit and i got scared! lol.. then after ryan left, me n michael watched "something about mary" and i pretty much fell asleep until his phn woke me up! lol... it was all good tho!
there wasa buncha little people here! lol the one lil boy got cupcake ALLLLL over him! it was sooo cute! my mom took a pic of me n amanda an di was eatin sumpthin and she was takin a pic of amanda but i got in it and lol i look possessed because i hava spoon up to my face and the face a 3 yrold makes when they getta new toy or soemthign. then i was cutting these onions with goggles on! lol... they were strong! it was an interesting thing!
i love michael alot! im VERY happpy he came yesturday! the comment someoneleft in my previous entry tho bothers me, i dont understand where people i got i threatended to kill myself if he broke up with me... i mean hey, if i really wanted to, id go out with someone else right after, but do i? NO! i want to stay with michael! because i love him like crazii! :]
alrighty, i just wanted to fill people in that thaat is not true and me and michael will be together for a VERY long time!

oh yeah! i got TIPPPSSSY!!!

5 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*

:: 2004 28 May :: 3.59 am
:: Mood: aggrivated
:: Music: hotel

RArrrh! today was boring.. summers already boring.. i wanted to go out n do stuff today but i didnt wake up till 930-10ish.. then i cleaned up.. then i fought wiht my mom... Ahhh the usual. i just got insidef rom tanning and hava huge headache but my mom wont let me take any medince. She thinks ive been in a bad mood lately, and i kno i have. people are gettin to me and id ont kno.. im so tired. i just woke up cause went i was outside, i fell asleep... for like 2 hrs..
hmph oh well, these comments from JT dont make any sense.. like..
saying she doesnt want to talk to me again til next yr? whats gunna be the diff? lol a couple months? ooooh well. It was still a threat.. whtever works tho.. sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep
thats where im off to!
i love michael!

2 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*

:: 2004 27 May :: 6.58 am
:: Music: i have had you

Wow- Today was the last day of school! i only went to school until 9 10 today! Then i left, and went to the beach n stuff! it was pleasant! Just happy for summer time to be here, so i can go have some fun with muh buddies! I'll prolly hang out with michael, billy, n dewitt, n amanda most of the summer. ((haha at diff times))
J.T. is now making threats against me.. such childish things to do. Oh well, i do not have to deal with her crap or go down to rozelle until 2 months from now...
I hava cut in my mouth! how igot there, i don't kno! lol, but it hurts! I was told to stop writing in here by my parents, so i think ill try! No promises!

11 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*

:: 2004 26 May :: 1.22 am
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: I have loved you

My heart feel so... i dont kno, like a butterfly! i love this song. Today i was kinda of daydreaming and I was thinkin of everything michael has done for me.. He has done soo much to keep my happy and on my toes this whole time. I love him so much.. i just hope nothing bad happens with us! I just feel so.. up in the clouds... like i can fly im so at peace...
Today, I took the yearbook ((didnt count foanything)) and the english final. The english one was so0o0o hard... NO ONE who took it so far recieved an A! i didn't know 74 of the questions.. wow i feel dumb... Haha.. i have an 89 for afinal grade in american government also.. So, there is 2 final B's i will be getting on this report card of mine.. It really sucks, lemme tell yah!
I ate lunch with Brad n Marie today.. Except most of my time was walking michael to his class, he looked soo cute today! haha... i usually never say that about a guy either!
I love feeling how i do right now, like my stomache is full of little happy butterflys!
School is finally over.. 1 more day... just 1 more.. that's all i have to remind myself.. 1 more day... 2 more periods... one more lunch.. 2 more class changing bells... 1 more time in that school for 2 months.. it needs to be over.. so i can get a break! and feel how i feel ALL summer! Life is so amazing, isn't it?

*Do You love me?*

:: 2004 25 May :: 5.00 am

IF I MAKE THS FUKCING JOURNAL FOR ATTENTIOON, DONT READ IT AND GIVE ME IT!!!!!!!! I DONT WANT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Do You love me?*

:: 2004 25 May :: 4.46 am
:: Mood: diiirttty!
:: Music: Dirtty

Todays finals were almost difficulT! i had el espanolo y la biogaligiA! lol i screwed that word up royally. I got a 92 on the bio exam.. mostly because Mrs. Wheeeler was being especially nice. So here i am with my grade dilemma! i can have either an 89.2 B!!!((if i got an 88 last q n 89 this q)) or an 89.6 A!!!!!!! sooo hopefully mrs.wheeler is feeling nice again and wants to bring the 89.2 to an 89.5... AHHH!!! 2 days left of school! HOORAY! i cant wait!
Michael was mean and threw out one of the papers i had about you know what! lol only because i dropped it in the hall beside a BUNCH of her friends! lol.. oh well ill try again tomorro. i mean i only got 2 days so i might as well make it a LASTING impression! lol..
i heard peopel didnt like my outfit today! lol iddint match PERIOD! i hada cute orange shirt and black sweat pants... lol.. almost mathcing! then my hair was just kinda there. then i hada blue sweatshirt i put on middle of 1st, when i was finsiehd with the exam. so i dunno. lol.. oh i heard they didnt like my cute short skirt and low cut shirt yesturday either!
oooh well. im such a whore they should be used to it! Michael sure as hell liked it! Wooohoo! that was my mission! and i completed it!
Momma is takin me to the beahc on friday! woo hooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!
alrighty im done
courtney is begging me to go swimmin with her... silly little sister!
Always n forever!
i love my michael!

9 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*

:: 2004 24 May :: 7.37 am
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: someday

Today was sooo long ofa day.. i had to play at graduation for band. It was lovely. Michael stayed after school for about an hour with me then i chilled with ashiee n kelsey n nelly. hm... would people drop thing thing about J.G? who cares if her mother beats her, i don't. I mean i kno she is reading this along with half the 9th grade. yes, my backround does say.."whore" all voer it. its just for yall who call me one. and yet no one can still live up to the proposition.. its funny.
Anyway- im tired as hell. i hava headache from hell. annnndn people can just go to hell! lol... lots fo the HELL word! H-E-double hockey sticks!! AHHHH! people are gunna get offended!!! i think ill put that my mother abuses me! ((not really))!!!
I may be ugly, but i sure as heck gotta better body than you ever will :]!
enless yer likea model chikk, then hah your better!
the american gvt final wes pretty easy i didnt kno 9 ?s

well im done
SLEEP is well needed

*Do You love me?*

:: 2004 23 May :: 7.45 am
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: rest in pieces

I feel so... odd right now... i don't know, maybe because i am just going with the flow about me being a "whore"... i guess i should just listen to people and believe every word they say? Im starting to believe it all, this school year has definatly done a job on me. I have seen the good and the bad in people.. i have seen the truth behind the masks people wear. i wish i could jsut go back to dream world where nothing like this is a reality.
this song, i removed from my journal is making tears water in in my eyes... i want to be left alone, but i am not getting rid of this journal. This journal is saving me from going insane.. except for the comments... those comments are horrid and i wish them to stop. one thing i have noticed is all these comments have to be coming from only one or two people. it just seems to happen that they stop, at the same time, then start coming, at the same time, ironic?
i dont kno..
i want to go to michaels baseball game right now.. but i dont think i am able to..
i dont kno, i just... crying sucks. i have not cried about this ordeal for a while.

Look at me, my depth perception must be off again,
Cause this hurts deeper than I thought it did,
It has not healed with time...
It just shot down my spine.
You look so beautiful tonight,
Remind me how you laid us down,
And gently smiled,
Before you destroyed my life...
Would you find it in your heart,
To make this go away,
And let me rest in pieces?

i am aware this sounds like i am asking for pity, but i just dont feel so spiffy right now.
I hate cyring. I hate feeling so.. Blah.. thats just somehitng i will have to deal with tho...

6 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*

:: 2004 23 May :: 9.17 am
:: Mood: lazy
:: Music: my sisters music

Hey... i realized that im

I don't know why...

If i could start a story, id write it like this...

For some reason i feel so.. Blah and tired.. Michael work me up this morning. He is at a baseball game for AAU i think. Im so0o sleepy...
I hope everyone lieks the journal. It's just for all of you who call me a whore. i might as well go with it now. Im sick of trying to ignore your comments.. It eventually does get to you... i don't know. Maybe i am one? maybe im not? who cares if i am.. i mean its my life and i can do what i want with it right? Ive been told countless time to "get out of fmhs, no one likes you" and that "you have no friends". It may be true.. but michael ISNT going out with me for sex because he would have broken up with me already if thats all he was after since im not giving in. I have yet to do less than anything with him.. I mean sure we haveour things but nothing real sexual... where people got ima whore, i dont kno.
Here, im going to propose a question for all of you.
If you can NAME 5 guys i have had sex with, I will tell everyone im a whore.
and if you cant, then keep your mouth shut...
im sorry but this has been bothering me for a while now. And my mom said to ask that question, who have i slept with if im such a whore. I bet you ANY money no one can do that.
Start trying


10 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*

:: 2004 22 May :: 7.05 am
:: Mood: creative
:: Music: dirrty

hey guys!

? haha ! like the new look of the journal? its just for you all! WHOOOORE! thaaaaaaaaaaaats me
theres a party in briarcliff that i might venture off to later tonight. mostly pepoe from cypress are goin but some ft myers so haha i might get my ass kicked!

Thats ok

im always gunna b

for michael!
Im so bored! i was in the pool today then the deck peopel came to put a final coat on! haha i cant go in till tomorro!!!!!
WEll daddys home! I'll write later


2 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*

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