>*when i l0ok in the mirr0r i imagine a pretty gurl
`& i think that can*t b me
`til i 0pen my eyes 'nd see the real me

the girl w i t h the br0wn e y e s wh0 has makeup smeared 0n her face

fr0m wipin away the tears

a girl wh0s afraid 0f r e g r e t
a girl wh0*s c0nfused
wh0 can*t make up her mind,
why must i fight my insecurites
why can't i b happy*

I Gave up my world... but you stabbed me in the back...

I'm calm on the outside... but on the inside ive been screaming constantly

I write, not for the sake of glory, not for the sake of same, not for the sake of success, but for the sake of my soul.

<<<<YoU DoNt LiKe WhAt I wRiTe, ToUgH sHiT>>>> ">..I doNt streSs theSe lil qameZ bytchez play cuZ aLL deM hoEs be faKKe aNyWaYs...


MoOZiK JamZ

 

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My New Life

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:: 2004 22 May :: 7.05 am
:: Mood: creative
:: Music: dirrty

hey guys!

? haha ! like the new look of the journal? its just for you all! WHOOOORE! thaaaaaaaaaaaats me
anyway
theres a party in briarcliff that i might venture off to later tonight. mostly pepoe from cypress are goin but some ft myers so haha i might get my ass kicked!

Thats ok

im always gunna b

for michael!
Im so bored! i was in the pool today then the deck peopel came to put a final coat on! haha i cant go in till tomorro!!!!!
WEll daddys home! I'll write later
~Laur

MICHAEL IF U READ THIS....

2 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


:: 2004 21 May :: 10.01 am
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: perfect day

Hola-
Michael left almost an hour ago. It was fun. we took the canoe out on the lake and he almost tipped it! it was interesin. theres snakes and an alligator in there!!! aHHH! haha i had fun tho, i was just abou thalf asleep when we were upstairs. so he played 007! lol.
im so bored. people wanted me to go to a cypress party but well, i couldnt... it sucks.. then other peple wanted me to go with them and get drunk n stuff.. that didnt happen! oh well, my michael came over and we enjoyed EVERY moment of it.
looking back on today, it was a good day. I mean sure everyone hates me, but they did before. lol it just made it worse. like. L.T, he was going to "forgive" me but thent he thing with J.G. happened and BANG! out like a light bulb! lol not gunna happen! S.B Im'd me asking hows me and J.G. How dumb. i did almost talk ot her today
she wasnt present at school today, i kinda felt bad, kinda didnt but i mean i know shes going through alot of rogh stuff and i wish people owulda been nicer to me through it all so i figure i might as well be nice now. Then agian...
Well im sleepy. and im bored... so i might wanna go sleep!
Love always
Laur
Thanks to all my friends who are defending me through all of this drama! i love you guys!

1 *To pieces!* | *Do You love me?*


:: 2004 21 May :: 3.15 am
:: Mood: curious
:: Music: i have loved you

Hello there!
Once again dumb comments come strolling into my journal. That's arlight tho. I talked to Mr. Roselle today. i wasnt going to but mrs.aulino heard about it and she got me out of class, talked to me about it since ive known her since 3rd grade and sstiil lived in pittsburgh, and yeah she took me down to mrs. banner and she talked to roselle. i cant spell the name! lol... anyway
J.T, A.L, R.R, J.G, E.O, M.A, M.G, and i think thats it were goint o be called down. E.O, J.G, and A.L, were not there at the moment but he will talk to them later. Yeah, I heard that E.L wwas reading my journal, printed it off, and gave it to mrs. moore but forgot to print out the comments. That's okay, i will. I was told to print out the ones about me getting my butt kicked. I'm so sick of threats. No one in the school has the guts to do anything cause they are afraid of getting into trouble. It's hard to believe this all originated from J.T and i. oh well.
i still have no regrets about what i did yesturday. She wasnt in school today, and she tried to talk to me last night but didnt. Here, let me post the converstation :]!

dkmurphysfan88: first of all i never printed ur journal..janna did..i helped pass it around...second it IS different not cause its an online journal..but because i never said anything about ur personal life...or even you personal appearence. thats whats different! people passed urs around cause there name was on it...i dont write about ppl on mine! thers a lot of differences! and who the hell made me cry if it wasnt you...the fuckin wall..no it was you...cause you can talk to a girl who was beat to near death...and make fun of it..and not care for a second...
TasteZLykECherrY: no i'm sorry.
TasteZLykECherrY: don't complain to me.
TasteZLykECherrY: im a heartless bitch sorry.
dkmurphysfan88: no seriously lauren...just talk to me without ur hate towards me getting in the way
dkmurphysfan88: how thehell could u do that to me
TasteZLykECherrY: same way you could pass around mine.
TasteZLykECherrY: it hurts doesnt it?
TasteZLykECherrY: i'll be the first to admitt i cried when you did it.
TasteZLykECherrY: i don't care if anyone knows that.
TasteZLykECherrY: i just don't care anymore.
TasteZLykECherrY: i have no friends remember.
dkmurphysfan88: but urs wasnt about ur abusive mom now was it...it was about some kids u dont like
TasteZLykECherrY: you said so yourself, what do i have worth losing?
TasteZLykECherrY: nothing.
dkmurphysfan88: and a lot of ppl passed it..not just me
TasteZLykECherrY: well, answer the question, what do i have worth losing since i have no friends?
TasteZLykECherrY: i have no reputation, i have no friends, and my grades are falling, i just odn't care anymore.
TasteZLykECherrY: i didn't purposly make you cry, you couldn't control your emotions.
TasteZLykECherrY: and that's not my fault.
TasteZLykECherrY: i will be as selfish and as heartless as you make me out to be.
dkmurphysfan88: what are you talking about...i dont care about u not having friends...or what you have to loose...i want to kno why you couldnt keep it at the same level as i did... just about ppl u hate...u could have got me back if it was that big of a deal without going as far as you did
dkmurphysfan88: my god!
TasteZLykECherrY: oh, well, you made it public.

TasteZLykECherrY: anyone could have read it since there was a link to it in my journal.
TasteZLykECherrY: i just thought i'd help them out.
dkmurphysfan88: yehh and its been public for a year with out any one tellin the world
dkmurphysfan88: just my friends read it
TasteZLykECherrY: hey! mine too!
dkmurphysfan88: hey! i didnt print urs out
TasteZLykECherrY: oooh but you did.
dkmurphysfan88: oohhh but i didnt
TasteZLykECherrY: alrighty.
TasteZLykECherrY: im not online to argue.
dkmurphysfan88: iwhat u saw was mine and the comments you left on it
TasteZLykECherrY: just know, i will be as heartless as i am told i ma.
TasteZLykECherrY: i am*
TasteZLykECherrY: there's not turning back for me.
dkmurphysfan88: ur not told it
dkmurphysfan88: u are it
TasteZLykECherrY: oh that's right:-)
TasteZLykECherrY: have a nice night jenna/
dkmurphysfan88: well its not like you havent already told everyoe
TasteZLykECherrY: not really, i told about 10.
TasteZLykECherrY: lol.
dkmurphysfan88: lauren why?
dkmurphysfan88: whay are u doing this to me
dkmurphysfan88: just stop
TasteZLykECherrY: oh no no no my dear.
dkmurphysfan88: its the same and u kno it
TasteZLykECherrY: you couldn't do that to me.
TasteZLykECherrY: pay back is a bitch.
dkmurphysfan88: just make up a rumor about me or something
TasteZLykECherrY: nahh- you've said enough about me to make up rumors for the both of us.
TasteZLykECherrY: so it's all peachy
dkmurphysfan88: where do u get ur info
dkmurphysfan88: i dont ever talk about u
dkmurphysfan88: untill this week
TasteZLykECherrY: oh alright.
dkmurphysfan88: and its about whats going on
TasteZLykECherrY: well then, should have thought about the consequences of passing my stuff around.
TasteZLykECherrY: and putting so much personal information on a public journal
TasteZLykECherrY: if i'm not allowed, neither are you.
TasteZLykECherrY: you tried to make me cry that first time you and that ali girl came up to me.
dkmurphysfan88: i still dont get why ur gdoing this to ME! i didnt do anymore than anyone else
TasteZLykECherrY: it worked, i just chose not to do it infront of you.
TasteZLykECherrY: because of all the attention it draws.
dkmurphysfan88: just wondered why i was on some girls fu list that i hadnt talked to or ahad a problem with in months
TasteZLykECherrY: you of course go back and ball your eyes out.
TasteZLykECherrY: poor poor girl.
TasteZLykECherrY: of course your friends will come and cuss me out.
TasteZLykECherrY: does it seem like i care anymore?
dkmurphysfan88: like i could have helped
dkmurphysfan88: it
TasteZLykECherrY: sorry jenna. the table is turned around!
dkmurphysfan88: you would too if ur mom was my mom and i said the stuff u said to me
TasteZLykECherrY: hell, i cry already.
dkmurphysfan88: not its turned and pushed through the walland a mile down the road
TasteZLykECherrY: nope.
dkmurphysfan88: yepp
TasteZLykECherrY: alrighty
dkmurphysfan88: u kno what u did waas way worse than just a couple kids looking at a fu list u made
TasteZLykECherrY: well jenna, after you're called a slut a million times and specifically told i have no friends, nothing matters.
dkmurphysfan88: guess not
TasteZLykECherrY: i will continue to be the little bitch that i am.
TasteZLykECherrY: sorry for the inconvieniance.(( i cant spell that word, cause i kno you don't likehow i cant spell))
dkmurphysfan88: well i g2g this convo was pointless
TasteZLykECherrY: yes, it was.
TasteZLykECherrY: tomorrow you might hear of a couple more papers:-)
TasteZLykECherrY: who knows?
dkmurphysfan88: i wouldnt doubt it
TasteZLykECherrY: goodnight jenna. sleep tight:-)
dkmurphysfan88: knowing u
dkmurphysfan88: You make me want to die.

ooooh so so much drama!nhehe oh well. I'm just happy things will eventually get back to normal :]!
Michael is coming over tonight. AT like 530 or something os i have to hurry and clean up my room. Im happy i have friend slike Michael, Marie, Jeannie, Hailey... They were so nice to me yesturdya through all of this b.s. I LOVE YOU GUYS!
Muah!
Well, im going to go. I'm sleepy and wanna take a nap before michael gets here. Oh i love that boy!
~Laur

1 *To pieces!* | *Do You love me?*


:: 2004 20 May :: 8.46 am
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: rest in pieces

Well well well. SChool was SUCH an interesting topic today. i printed out J.G's journal just as she did mine, and yep, sunk down to her level and showed it to everyone! and really, i have no regrets. i mean itsnot my fault the girl cried, lol, i didnt swear, i didnt yell, i just kind of sat there and agreed and told her she did the same to me. then she said its different, but in all reality its not. its a public journal as i am told often in comments. People will print it out.
Shes starting to get to A.H. And if she does i will cry n cry n cry... oh wait! cant do that, i forgot. its okay for jenna to cry and everyone be angry at me, but if i cry its for attention. im sorry, i forgot. But don't come up to me, lie to my face, and then me not swear or even call names, and then cry about it.... whatever. thers what.. 5 days of school left? lol... well i duno at the movies!
R.R came up to me and said... "go to the movies friday night, SEe what happens" lol i would but im grounded for doing nothing as usual. But thats alrighty!
i Took my drug and alchoohol test today! ive been 15 since decemeber and still havnt gotten the damn thing. too bizy with softball. Then i got my physical and it says i only weigh 94? that cant be right. i mean, i used to wgh 100 and i just ate 2 whoppers and fries! lol. Anyway-
This weekend i dont kno what im doing yet. Ihope michael can come over. I really want him to. ITs weird, everything think weve done everything when in all actuallity we've done nothing. Hmm... J.T.s mom is abi0tch harressing my sister. But thats okay! my lil ssta gots 5 days left on that old rickity thing!

well michael is callin
love always
Lauren

11 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


:: 2004 18 May :: 6.26 am
:: Mood: irritated

hmmm how IRONIC
it is when i am finally happy, and i ignore all the comments people make to me, other people hurt eachother. i'm not the one instigating it. 21 comments now.. when earlier today there was but 16.
it's not my fault people chose to degrate their friends, their foes, their peers. If no one likes the comments, then don't comment back. It only ignites the arguments.
I'm not hurting people. Others who read this journal are hurting eachother. If this journal is jsut for attention, than i have been seeking for attention since june 20th of last year. Whatever you wish to believe is fine with me.
~Laur

5 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


:: 2004 18 May :: 1.35 am
:: Mood: smiley
:: Music: im ok

HOla
I told Courtni id stop writing but this is like weed, its addicting. what does weed taste like? does it even have a taste? lol, sorry just a random thing that popped into my mind. ive never done drugs so i wanna kno what it tastes like. is it good, bad, what? I WANNA KNOW! lol just for my own reference. Today is another day full of drama for this journal.
R. L and J. T. "made up" with C.G. I was very angry about it because of the stuff R.L. was saying about C.G. and how she took her back ina snap! A.B. called and told me i need to stop writing in here because it causes too much drama. i kno i should, but i cant. im not goign to start over because of people.
I fell asleep 6th period for about 45 mins. i didnt feel good. in english, we wrote an essay. in 5th period we did almost nothing, and in yearbook i colored and slept. lol. i wanna change the layout of the journal. i like change! wooohooo!
Ill WRite whenever i wanna~ oh yeah! the cursor is for everyone to remind them to keep a smile on their faces! :]!
MUAH~
Laur
OH- Nikki, dont worry about it hunnie! they were going to comment anyway. dont sweat the small stuff.
Please guys, stop your fighting.

2 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


:: 2004 17 May :: 7.32 am
:: Mood: spiffy
:: Music: i have had you

WOOOHOOOOOO!!!
AMAZING guys!
i gotta hand it to you. ! 16 comments already, and i have no said a word. Woudl you please all go back and read the entry that all that crap is posted on? it talks about me going to church... to the beach... how did it come to me being a "hoe"? whatever. im going to disregard allc omments and let you guys argue. lol- i think its kinda funny how an entry about nothing can stir up stuff. its like soup! lol
anywya
finals are definatly beginning to stress me. plus all this drama from school is well over my head. but i can do it! ima trooper! SUPER TROOPER! the math final is going to be a bi-otch! thats the only one im actually dreading. the bio one should be pretty easy since mrs. wheeler is giving us everything that we need to kno. She was so ncie to me today. i was upset because of something osmone posted and i had to bring it to school because i was told if any other threats are made against me in the journal, i need to bring it, IP addy n all, and i had it. Mrs. Wheeler asked what was wrong and so i let her read it. shes like "dont worry about it. whoever wrote this doesnt know anything and must not go to ft myers since they think we have 3 months of summer and think that a vagina can get dialted."
lol she made me smile.
hmmm what else..
oh! wednesday is the sports banquet. im going over courtni's house after school and we're going to get dressed over there. i have a choice between a dress and a skirt. ima bring them bothe rover there. haha. i dont kno what im wearin yet!
Michael isnt sure if hes going to be there but he better be or else!
I love him to pieces
well, i gotta go
Love Always
Laur

6 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


:: 2004 16 May :: 9.55 am
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: Angel

Hola-
Yesturday i was at the beach ALL yesturday ona boat. it was fantacular! I was tubin andhad a TON of fun! i wanna go do it again! we were going to, but its supposed to rain so i dont kno if were going because we got stuck yestrday coming back bcecause the boat is docked in sanibel.
THen i went to this progressive dinner thinggy with my church. it was prety much a snore, but i hung out with wyatt, chris, n max. that was interesting. haha- max gave me all his lolipops he earned and told me all the answers to the questions we wwere supposed to answer. innit nice?

Oh yeah- Sooooo yeah. MY sisters are burned as hell. Me, i just got tanner! woohooo! I love how i can actually get tan! im supposed to go to my game today but i cant since i have a meeting at church abotu this summers events. Me and Amanada Elliott prolyl have the same room accomidations and i cant wait for it! Audrey n Liz n Kimmie will prolly be in the same room, Amanada ((my sister)) and Heather and Tina will be in the same room. So right there takes care of 3 rooms. Heather S. WIll prolly be in me n amandas room because yeah we talk alot.
Frank was gunna take me to a party last night but i was out in san carlos tooo long and he lives in the Cape. Then he was gunna coem over at lik e11 but my parents were ina bad mood. and i didnt wanna mess with them.
I felt sooo bad last night. i tried calling michael like a bajillion times and when he finally calls back, im asleep. soo i wanna talk to him badly right now. I wish he wasnt grounded so then he could come over cause me and my momma are just gunna go to the mall instead since we cant go to the beach due the rain that is going to fall shortly. im looking outside and it doesnt look so good. plus its only 77.
my pool gets water in it on monday! YAY!. so that means it will officially be finished on friday! WEll- i need to go to my meeting. itll be fun!
Muah!
Laur
I LOVE MICHAEL FOREVER!!!!
P.S.-The rest of the 9th grade who had the person comment in my journal about laughing their ass off when we break up, can shove it up their buttt because we are NOT going to break up fora long time. Thanks :]
P.S.S- That comment i just made is not directed to those of you who had no idea what the anonymous commenter was going to say.
Bye!





23 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


:: 2004 14 May :: 9.45 am
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: nuaghty girl

IM HUNGRY!!!!!
haha thought id share. im bored. im home alone......... o0o0o0o0 scary! haha. i talked to liz. we are both going to drop this ordeal. it is your turn.! MUaHz!
bYe!
I lOvE mIcHaEl
HEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee i sthe bestest person on this whole wide world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


:: 2004 14 May :: 3.56 am
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: milkshake

Humm dee dumm dee dum
School was very uneventful. Yearbook i talked to courtni the whole time cause she has health class n she didnt do anything so lol, we had fun. Englissh we had to write some haku or w.e their called. 5th period we took notes n did hw. then 6th period we did some worksheet, then we had an hour to do nuthin, so me n stephanie made up some weird things with greg, me n greg played hang man lol for like 20 mins, then i drew michael a pic, talked to ryan, fun fun!
Lunch i got alot of looks, but oh well lol. This whole ordeal is getting tiring. J.T. really seems to have a big mouth ((no not the boy JT in muh english class incase you uhh get the wrong part about htat too)). but thats besides the point. Yes, admisitstration and teachers are aware of things going on. Im not enuff to stop this, but they are going to help it get quiet because its really gay. S.F's last day was today. THANK GOD! ahhh we were friends last year, i dunno what happened. oh well. Hey,what was that ali girls last name? somebodys gotta kno... Ahem... Jenna? lol. The perople who were there were... Jenna, Ryan, that Max guy, n the Ali chikka. Soooo the person who wrote in my journal had to have been one of them!. if you hate me soo badly, why do you waste your time reading my journal? I don't know. its your life not mine, im not gonna get into like you did mine... i mean my parents arent divorced like some people i kno and i wasnt forced to live with my mom whom i hate. ((i dont hate my momma i luv her ! ))
But anyway-
we lost our game last night, REALLY bad. 14-0!! woohoo! were good. I pitched the last inning and 7 runs scored !! hoooray! ima GREAT pitcher! lol i struck out Jamie, YAY!. that was kinda funny, but then peple dropped balls and the hit the HELL outta the ball, i guess the speed change wasnt enuff to stop the yankees! ohw ell we did well aweful, we hadnt been 10 runned yet, even the yankees had, but thats alright. we took 2nd in the tournament. i did pretty bad. i fouled off 2 and well they caught them. Courtney did a diving catch into the fence but caught it! haha ima strike her out some time lol just to get back. i was the 1st batter and then the 3rd time i was up, i stuck out :( i suck! lol. ((not literally)). Bruno made some AMAZING catches! lemme tell yah! she had to dive for like 3 and caught them!! w00h00! go Amanda! Amanda Elliott pitched against us, she did a wonderful job too! hehe thats muh older sistta! I cant wait till the summa to go to orland with her and 36 000 other kids! lol. that' s gunna be ablast.
tomorro i have to go to some progressive dinner thing with muh church. i cant wait. i had fun last year and it ends wiht a pool party at chris's house. Hes da BOMB! lol. Wyatts gunna be there so ima talk to him. i havnt seen him since... forever! like last time i saw him wasprolly in novemebr? december? i dont kno. hmmmm
well, have fun printin this
and have fun readin this and makin sum comments on this entry and past entries thinking i will not read them~ maybe this time u can learn to leave your name!
MUAH!
Laur
560*2738!

5 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


:: 2004 13 May :: 3.19 am
:: Mood: pissed off
:: Music: i swear

school was very interesting today..
i had a sort of good day untillunch when i got dizzy and didnt feel good and had some strange girl come up to me and cuss me out. oh that was pleasing. she told me ima slut, so i agreed. then she paused, then said ima f*n bitch and ima get jumped one day. so i said ok. i really dont care... im so sick of the drama... heres another entry peopel are going to print off, but just kno, none of this has to do with michael so leave him out of it... he has enough on his mind already.
L.T seems suprised hes not on my "list" lol. people make it seem like its a hit list. is it? no, its simply expression my anger towards people. I do not like those people i have listed. you don't even know if it's you, becasue a bunch of peopel could be named ryan or ashley or emily. there really is no way of knowing it's you enless you kno you did something tom ake me angry.
kelly pharum- ahhi cant spell yer last name... but anyway, no the kelly listed was not you and Ryan Renyolds, the ryan listed was no you and Ashley Hintze, the ashley listed is not you. Right there were 3 assumptions, that were not right.
I know who i am, you don't
if that's too hard to comprehend, them im very sorry and there is nothign i can do about that.

I dont know what else to say, but the school is aware of events that have occured and will probably be speaking to those involved with this, especially those who have made threats against me ((hmmh mm at lunch)) becase now this is started to affect my school life..


Its amazing how immature people are. I, myself included. But, HEy GUYS! to whom ever is reading this entry around school.

Im done. I love Michael, and no one can take him from me.

Always
Lauren

9 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


:: 2004 12 May :: 3.34 am
:: Mood: thirsty
:: Music: i dont wanna kno

Today was a good day

Im very happy. We won our game last night. it was such a great game. we were losing until the 5th inning 5-2. i started it, i was the 1st batter and so the 9th batter was on 1st and i was up. at first, i fouled off the bunt ((ooops!)) so then he had me hit, and i hit a triple! it was so great! so that made the score 5-3. then bruno hit me in which made it 5-4. then lindsay hit a homerun so yeah 6-5. and it was started by me!! w000 h000! then hit another bomb out into right center. it was grand! lol. Amandas brother luis was our base ump! haha he jimped me outta a call but what can i say. lol. Me and Michael are doing perfect. I love him to pieces. people in his math class are retards. lol they said, "lauren's pregnant" lol and iw as like, "i am?" lol and michael told them we didnt do anything but they still kept saying i was and so far it involves jenna, ben, n seth. so far its seth who started it, and then jenna suppoidly told everybody, so thats how rumors get started right there! lol oh well. im skinny asa rail. i think id kno if i was pregnant.. i mean you gotta have sex to get pregnant, lol so far that hasnt happend! so yeah, whatever works for them. when my stomak dont start poppin outta my pants, then peopel will realize how full of shit they are. oooh this world is one crazii bi-otch!
i wanna see michael right now! his team lost there game.. so did our varisty... such heartbreakers! today was seniors last day! haha ima miss dan davis makin fun of me in american government lol. he did today. lol his thing in my yearbook is funny. well, lets see what else.... my hair looked cool today. it was very... odd. it had no direction, wasnt curly, wasnt straight, it was just all ova the place! hehe oh well. courtni brouhght pix from when this whole big argument started with me n janna n randee n people. n lol these pics, i look drunk in almost all of them. theres like a bajillion pix of randee and janna me n courtni are gunna rip them up! well at least i will. i dont kno about her yet. randee wanted alll this to stop but she insists on printing my journal and taking it to the softball game last night. sooo shes the one who is keeping all of this going. me and monica had a nice talk today! hehe im so happy were still cool with eachother despite all the drama going around me. my parents are havin a party next month so ima invite her, ashiee, michael n maybe scott n kevin! haha! just for the both of them! welps, im done!
I LOVE MICHAEL!!!!
Always n forever!
Michaels Angel!
LAuren!


oh heres my Thing!
About Me
Age: 15
Birthdate: Dec 8
Zodiac Sign: Saggitarius
Location: Ft MyAs!
Birthplace: PitTsburgh
Nickname: Laur, Lo, Laureen, Lawn, Lauraina
Screen Name: TasteZLykECherrY
Hair Color: brown with ugly highlights
Eye Color: brown
Height: 5'3!!!
Piercings: My ears, i get other stuff peirced when im 16!
Tattoos: Nope! i hada henna tattoo before...
Braces: hah aunforutnaly
Freckles: in tha sun!
Wavy/Straight/Curly Hair: Straight
Hair Length: Past shoulders..
Color of Nails: normal color of nails?
Do you bare down hard when you write: bare down hard???
Hobbies: Talkin, Softball, Flute, Partyin, BEachin it
Job: Nope!
School: Ft MYers---
Do you have a Bi-Lo Bonus Card: whats that?
Have you ever worked for a resturaunt: no
Do you have a pencil blister: nope, didnt kno those existed... if my hand gets tired, i stop writin
Do you have those little white marks under your nails?: A couple... not enuff carotts!
How many: 2 er 3
Did you used to say that was how many guys/girls liked you: lol in 6th gradE
Do you have long/short nails: long, but they break due to softball
What are you wearing right now?: Jeans and a cute white tank top
What time is it: 4*05
Date: May11 2004

Favorites
color: Blue n Pink
song: i really have no favorite, i like the one in my journal tho
number: 7, 5, 17
movie: The horse whisper...
group: None
radio station: 103.9, 96.9, 105.5
TV station: Lifetime, Crime one
Car: hmm... h2
School:Nicely Elementary!!
Quote from a movie: Why is life so hard?- 15 and pregnant
Song Lyric: Say wha you wanna say, talk wha you wanna talk
I DONT GIVE A FUCK!
Time of day: night time
House: Any place but mine...
Subject: Biology
Teacher: my 3rd grade teacher, mrs. mondi
Clothing Store: too many
Feeling: when everything seems to be going right
Shoe: these pink high heeled shoes
Jewelry: neklasses
State: PA
Place to Be: Down by the crick of my old house
Fruit: Strawberries and Kiwi
Meat: My grandmas roast
Veggie: Corn, Carrotts
Ice Cream: Strawberry, Cookies n Cream
Potato Chip: Sour Cream n onion
Salad Dressing: Ranch
Sauce: Ketchup
Fast Food Resturant: McD's & Burger King
Dine In: I don't know.
Gas Station: 7-11! ((SLURPIEE!))
Candy: reeses, gum, skittles, twix
Bread: yummy.
Grocery Store: WAL MART!
Dog: Golden Retriever
Animal: Pup
Letter: What kind of question is this?
Month: December
Season: winter
Country Song: Little Moments
Rap Song: Yeaah
Oldie: my girl
Nickname: Well.. uh.. of mine?
Shape: heart
Sense: sight
Sport: softball/baseball
Football Team: lol, uhm Steelers?
Basketball Team: IDK, Pitt?
Bath & Body Works Scent: Cottom Blossom
Shampoo: Anything that cleans...would be just fantabulous
Soap: See above response
Toothpaste: See above 2 responses((but has to taste good))
Drink: Coke, Lemonade
Alcoholic Beverage: dont have much experience, Bacardi O or R tastes good tho.
Talk Show Host: Maury
Insect: Butterfly
CD you own: Blink 182- take off your pants n jacket
Do you have a lucky number: 7
Prized Possession: my life... my dog...my stuffed animal from when i was born...
Do you do drugs: Never.. that crap messes people up
Do you drink: nope. learned my lesson in november
Do you cuss: Hell yea.
Worst subject: math
What are your plans after school: Live the life i dream of.
Do you have a CD burner: Ya
Who do you hate: Hate.. is.. uhm... bad.... but looka t previous entries
Who hates you: haha lets not get into that. too many to count.
How many buddies are on your buddy list: 189 i keep deletin people.
How many are online right now: 33
Which ones are you talking to: I'm away
How do you know them: they are muh buddies!
What did you do yesterday: School!
What did you do today: Nothing, so far. cept school.
What are you doing tomorrow: school n a championship game!! w00t! goes As!
What are you doing this weekend: NOt sure yet
What did you do last weekend: nuthing
What are you gonna do when this is over: talk in aim probly.

Love + Relationships
Are you currently in love: Yes.
Have you ever been in love: yea
Define Love: Basically when you share something special with someone that is so incredibly amazing words cannot explain. You would do anything for the person, you would kill yourself for that person...
Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Yes
Your Crush: michael?
First Kiss: 1st grade!!! stephen parsons! i didnt even kno he kissed me!
First Boyfriend/Girlfriend:stephen parsons! if you count him asa bf
Is there anyone that you would date again: Mmmmm... i dont kno. i love michael.
Do you believe in love at first sight: No. no no no.
What is the longest relationship you've been in: around 6 months
With who: DAvid
Why did ya'll break up: Long story.
List all the people that you have dated more than a month: Oh wow.. I don't kno.. Stephen, David, Josiah, Carlos, James, Reid,
First french kiss: Oh uhh... James?
Are you a virgin?: no comment.
Who did you lose it to?: no comment.
How old were you? 15
Friends
Your closest ones:Libby
The one that lives farthest away: Libby
The one that lives closest to you: Dunno.
The tallest: Tyler
Shortest: Erin
Best-Looking: Daniel Craig
Biggest Flirt: Not sure.
Most Outgoing: Courtni
Shyest: None of them are shy
Wildest: Dont kno.... Alexa
One you can trust the most: Libby
One you've known the longest: Lib- Kindergarden
Known the shortest: Umm... Courtni
Best Laugh: Anjali
Worst Laugh: I dunno

KK Oprah is on!

5 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


:: 2004 11 May :: 3.28 am
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: confessions

School was school. Michael left early.. he left 5th period, but thats okay because i was passing at yrbooks at lunch anyway n the chilled with dwight n aaron 7th period. that was fun. haha i got aarons signatures beside his pix in the yearbook! oh right- the yearbook, i got today. its sooo ghetto. i hate it. too much white space. i think the worst page in the whole book is varisy baseball, theres 2 pages of rlike 6 pix. i coulda done better at designing it, hmm oh well. i saw a bunch of the pix i took! haha i have copies of them on my old comp/ . its pretty cool. theresa buncha pix that i took of alexa. she looks sooo pretty in theum! i have a game tonight... could be the last game. if the yankees beat us tonight, we took 2nd, but if we win, then we play ONE more time. cant wait. i feel so blah, im so0o0o sleepy. oh well. as i told michael today, "suck it up solider!" lol... schoool was just so boring today. i didnt want to talk to anyone, so i didnt. anyone who said hi to me, i kinda gave them a smile n kept walking. cept for michael of course. i dont kno what im going to ear to school tomorro. i like to kno because yeah... i wanna look goood for michael bcause... i have to... wow cool i just typed all of this without looking at my fingers and where they are going on the keyboard. not bad not bad not bad! well ima go take a nap before my wonderful game in 3 oaks
Wish me luck!!!
Always
Laur
I LOVE MICHAEL!

3 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


:: 2004 10 May :: 4.14 am
:: Mood: irritated
:: Music: burn

Well, school is dumb. girls are dumb. life is just dumb in general. Randee, a stupid crippled bitch, can't keep her comments to herself. I have not lost anything that dear to me. I mean maybe my reputation, but that's it. Not that i had one to begin with. I wasn't the slut people made me out to be. I was just a quiet little girl who tried to keep to herself. Well, that girl is gone. Im not that virgin everyone wants me to be, and i've learned to defend myself and just ignore everything negative people have to say about me. But lately, it's getting to me again. I shouldnt let it, but i feel as if i cannot help it anymore. i hat egirls. they are so mean and ridiculous!
Hmmm....
i wish most would just fuck off, like janna and randee for instance.
Theres good people like Courtni, whom i am now considered one of her best friends. she has listened to me cry these past few nights. Me and Bruno are starting to get get close, and i love that feeling. but people just ruin it. they don't know me...
Michael knows me inside and backwards. Janna doesnt kno me. she said so herself.
Im sad that peopel tell me i dont belong in a church... i am very religious. i believe in god. and im sick of it...thats really what i have to look forwrad to and thats why im alive.
~Lauren



14 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


:: 2004 9 May :: 4.38 am
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: salt shaker

HAPPY MOMMYS DAY!!!!
well today was mommas day and we went to dwyres for brunch. it was very yummy! michael is in trouble with his father so i dont know how often i will be seeeing him out of school... ill just have to make school time worth while then! i lvoe him to death! hehe... im back to sleeping better. ive slept the whole night 2 nights in a row... W0oo0o0h0o0o0oo0o!
people are so dumb. this is MY journal. not anyone elses. to the annoynimus commenter on the other entry is so retarded. how many peopel tell me " i need to realize what ive lsot" ive lost 3 bitchy friends. yay. lol, can you tell im still upset about it? since they call me as lut i can call them whatever i want considering we are no longer friends. think about it. fair is fair innit? hah ghetto talk!
I had fun at church today. i saw ESteros yesarbook. chris let me see it. its cool. i looked up monica n kyle n other people. i saw a picture of scott lol in his cowboy stuff. it was cute. Dane kept coverin up his pic. but i ended up seeing it anyway because chris got his book back and yeah he let me look. my pool is almost finished. i cant wait. itll be done in baout 2 weeks at the most. wellli think im done for now. im sleepy and i think ima go take a nap from all this drama!
MUAH!
always
LAuren

3 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


:: 2004 8 May :: 6.56 am
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: rest in pieces

Hi-
Well, now i can keep myjournal. lol.. this keeps gettin confusin. oh well.
today i had a game against the devil rays again.. WE WON 3*2!!!!
it was very exciting and also very nail biting. i ended up twisting my ankle going after a difficult fly ball behind third base in the outfield. i had it in my glove but not long enuff because as i caught the ball my ankle twisted and as i went down i dropped the ball. my bruise from the other day looks nastayy!!!
oh wells. last night i went to the movies with michael. today is his dads bday. so hes at iguana mia! haha...
anyways... turn up your volume... and read this as themusic is playing....

Anjali made me realize something. She made me realize that i take too much forgranted. Just as everyone else does. I act like my life is so bad... but i gotta think about the kids in india and bad countries that have so much war and turmoil and starvation going on.. im not one of the kids who no one wants to adopt... im just Lauren. A little girl who can't face reality of things. Ima girl who wants to live in a dream world the rest of her life and try to ignore what people in the real world are like. I have finally begun to realize how mean people can be. I act like everything is wrong but im not standin on a street corner everynight trying to get money to support anyone... even tho some of you think i am... im really not the whore im played out to be. im not your virgin mary... but im also not your street corner strip club girl.. i just wish people would leave me alone about things. im trying to live my life how i want to. im realizing how much i complain about stuff. im not freezing... im not dying... im normal. ima normal teenager with internal conflicts going... why cant people just realize that? i dont want to cause trouble but its like you bring it on. id ont kno... im juss...feeling different and how i want peopel to stop calling me a whore/slut/skank.... i dont mind the bitch ebcause yeah i can be one.. but everything else? if you dont kno me, even if you do, you shouldnt be calling me a whore.. i rpolyl havnt dont a thing to you...so.. i dont kno...
Forever
Lauren

i LOVE michael!!!!

3 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


:: 2004 7 May :: 3.42 am
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: scientist

I guess this is it. may 8th, the deadline is tomorr. my money isnt goign to get there in time. bye to this journal forever. i have 160 or 170 sum entries, ill miss it.
FUCK ALL YOU PEOPLE AT FMHS!!! YOU'RE NOTHING BUT STUPID TEENAGERS WHO KNOW NOTHING ABOUT LIFE!!! well not all people at fort myers, but most.
honestly, if you couldn't take wahat i wrote, why did u bother reading it? are you happy now? you got what you wanted. i may be a damn whore in your mind but i know i am not. Fuck you
Janna, Nicola, Shannen, Lauren, Randee, Morgan, Jenna, Ericka, Emily, Emilie, Laura, Dylan, Kelly, Ben, Melissa, Liz Lee (eww take it up the ass froma black guy n Kevin), Emily, Ryan, Ashley, Austin, Lindsey,
fuck you. theres more but i gotta headache and i cant name people.
Courtni- thank you hunnie for making my day better! the cake was very good! MUAH!
Michael- Here, you're in my last entry. i love you. you mean everything tome...

Always
LAuren

Cant wait to get youer damn comments

15 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


:: 2004 5 May :: 3.27 am
:: Mood: loved
:: Music: rest in pieces

I cant get michael out of my mind. i mean i saw the boy all day... but i cant stop thinking. today was a very good day today. my mom and i went to the mall yesturday after shool and i got a green shirt and wore it today with white capris and i think michael liked it. haha. i got the song on my journal in my mind! TURN UP YER SPEAKERS!!!! you should haer the music! its good.
anyways
i got a 90 on my bio test thingg and a 94 on my notebooks. shcool is back to normal. i l0ve everything being back to normal. it gives me a better feeling inside. i have butterflies in my stomache riight now! ooh i wanna see michael so bad.
i have a game tonight against the yankees! they and us are undefeated so i hope we kick some major ass against them because i dont like alot of people on that team! brunois gunna go tonigt. i think she is back to being part oof the team. hm, who knows? well, ima go. im sleepy n i wanna take a nap before the game!
Love always
Laur
WISH ME LUCK!!!!

*Do You love me?*


:: 2004 4 May :: 5.12 am
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: rest in pieces

WEll- School was boring.
I got a 98 on my American Government test. But i have another one coming up! in math today i found out we have a bunch of tests this week. and wow! i need to pull my grade up besides getting the 90 on the conics projects. oooh well! Ryan told me to put this song in my journal. i like this song, you kno, the one playing in the backround of my joural? anyway
the backspace button on this keyboard goes pretty damn fast! haha! k
Janna is like hanging herself with telling people not to talk to me. i mean shes trying to turn marie against me but i knew the girl before i even lived in this state! sooo she isnt going to get anywhere with marie because shes not going to give into her stupidity. and my little sister is bugging the crap out of me! i got my hair cut yesturday! it looks kinda bad... id ont kno! its relaly layerd in the back but i think it makes my face look like a mushroom! i have practice tonight. i really dont want to go to it because ive had a headache all day. i took the writing portion for the AP eupopean history class. i think i did good. but then again! haha im ususally wrong. all the poeple that i think should have gotten into SGA asa rep, didnt! except Eileen was bragging to people saying liek it wasa popularity contest so she said she was GOING to win. but haha turns out she didnt! lol stupid bi-otch!
omg today in english, liz lee, she usually cant shut her damn mouth, well she finalyl did because we were watching some dumb movie and not many other people were watching it. so people were talking and she yelled "SHUT UP!" so i said loud enuff for her to hear, "liz, you never shut up". lol i was wriging michael a note so i went back to work but i mean i had to look up to say that because it annoyed me so. stephanie and gurline said she was giving me a very bad look. lol oh well she thinks shes all that but wanted it up the butt from kevin! haha im glad he sent her pix all ova the internet!
HMmm today me and michael kind of got into a mini fight because i woudlnt let him read a note that talked abotu greg.. like right after it happened and he hates hearing about it so i wouldnt let him read it because then later tonight hed ask me about it so yeah but we're good. were still all lovey dovey!
lol i love him to death! he loves me! were a happy family! whoaoooa barny toons! what has the world come to?
Courntey keeps bugging me !!! AHHH stupid little sister! but i think ill get off before she "tells on me " lol
Always and forever
Lauren
i love michael garczynski forever!!!!!!
MUAH!

2 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


:: 2004 3 May :: 4.01 am
:: Mood: relieved
:: Music: YeaHH

Im on my nice new computer! it makes the world sooo0-o0o0 much easier to use! haha. Anyways- Yes Nicola is being once again an immature bitch, but that's okay. i don't need her! Things are startin to get back to normal. i love it ! Hmm-- ME and Tiff said hi today. that was good. me and amanda exchanged glances! its so good. im still the whore of fort myers but does it seeml ike i care? HELL NAH!! lol theres my ghetto talk juss for Janna n Nicola. since they say i try to look ghetto. but really, i dont think id o but whatever works i guess! i was REALLY sick yestruday. i slept all day. i think its because of that wonderful time once a month i miss school! haha no more to be said. Schoolt today was pretty lame. i got a 90 on my conics project. not too shabby! considering i had noooo idea in my right mind about what the hell i was doing. lol. lots of people gotlike an 85 so im pretty happy. my grade in bio is still an 86 cuase i juss gotta 64 on my last quiz thinggy. but hey, i think i got another 100 on a diff quiz we took today and we have notebook checks on wednesday so i think ill be doin fine! me and dwght have really bin talkin in band. he keeps my mind offa petty shit like worrying about janna and nicola. its all good. i like having this feeling inside of me that things are starting to look up. ilove it. me and courtni are becoming really close. i kno alot about ehr now. i hope things work out between her and tice! well, im going to go. i wanna go talk to michael! i love him to death. yes nicola, LOVE!!!! i really hate whne people say you dont kno what it is when they dont either. sooo yah kno what? im happy with him and i feel like i love him so they can kiss it! oh lol thats juss for michael! haha
Always
Laur
Call Me!

*Do You love me?*


:: 2004 1 May :: 8.50 am
:: Mood: flirty
:: Music: the chicekn dance

michael juss left!!!! he came to my game! WE WON!!! 8-2!!! Amanda Bruno went. At the end of the game we talked for about a half an hour soo.. yeah were doin better then before! she finally unlcoked me. so im happy.
i love michael soo much. no words can discribe it! oooh i lvoe him i love him i love him!!!! hes mad at me tho because i made him go online! lol--- i got a new compueter. its sitting in my kitcehn ina box still! haha.
oh well im done!
I LOVE MICHAEL! MUAH!
Always
Laur
Leave an un commento**

1 *To pieces!* | *Do You love me?*


:: 2004 1 May :: 8.56 am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: heyyy good lookin! whhattt cha got cookin!

Feelin | rejected ]
[ Tuned into | i want you to want me ]


School kinda sucks... im sick of it. im the "whore of fortmyers" as many people put it. i honestly never knew i could be a ahore... i wish people knew me before they startred shit.

my concert was okay... nothing special. my mom complained the whole time when we got home.. i was very sad and angry at the same time because all she did was complain about how she missed the finally of friends and will n grace. so i dunno.

me and michael are doin great. i wanna see if he can come over tomorro n then go with me to my softball game. we are playing the devil rays in the tournamnet so i hope we kick some major ass! grr i hate school im soo happy the year is almost over i cant wait to get out of this fuckking hell whole. nicola is a dumb bitch who invited me to go to subway with tme yesturday before the concert and then ditched me on purpose and was looking for derek and i told him the time they told me so he walked up wth me... stupid bitches!!!!!! then michael came and he gave me a ride back to school! i as happy about that! well i gotta go now because we are gettin pizza from CiCis then im going to get my hairs cut!

Always

Lauren

Link 1 Everything|What's wrong?



screw bruno [Apr. 27th, 2004|03:44 pm]
[ Feelin | frustrated ]
[ Tuned into | angel ]


SCHOOL SUCKED!!!!!!!
im sick of school! im very upset! Amanda Bruno needs to keep her damn mouth shut. She told coach rhodes about greg n alex. and now michaels damn coach even thinks ima slut.!

its not fair! why can't people just get over the fact that i dont like them and never will so they need to cut their crap? all i watned todo at the end of the day today was cry. today went soo well until michael told me what amanda did! tiffany was talking to michael last niite and was saying that hes soo dumb for going out with me and blah bnlah blah! i mean he doesnt care. why dont peopl ejust understand that? is it sooo hard for their lil mind to comprehend?! its a good thinki didnt write this in the woohu journal because yeah people get all pissed if i ever say anything about them. even janna! how i said she did good pitching but didnt hit her spots! i think its all a bunch of BS! whatever. i just need to ignore it again. i shoudlnt let it get ot me!

ona lighter noote--- i hava concert on thursday.. yes a concert! lol a BAND CONCERT! if i was sitll bFFs with janna ida made fun of her but well... that snot happnin. at least i got sumpfin to do while waiting for 2:30, im awlking michael up to the baseball fields because he hasa game... and i miite go and watch after the dress rehersal tomoror. this concert is gunna be pretty cool in my opinion! i lost the SGA elecions to Tiffany Wu. oh well tho, i really dont mind. im kind of relieved because then id hafta hear the whole.. "vote for me get sex for free" crap that happened when i won earlier this year... i think im done rambling on for now about how pathetic people are! michael said i lokoed really cute! haha this is the first time ive worn my hair up to school since uhhh first quARTTER! lol oh yeah and i think i failed a bio test because i have no idea how to tell whether something hasa ceolom ora psuecoeolom or w/e and how many guts it has.. lol i realyl dont care! k well im done now. ill write later! oh wait again! we won our game last niite! 15*2 haha i pitched! w000! i havnt pitched in 2 months gooo lauren1 and i only walked the last... 3 batters! whose good now?!?!?!? haha well ok im done

Love always

Lauren I LOVE MY MICHAEL!


Link What's wrong?



Barbie! [Apr. 26th, 2004|03:38 pm]
[ Feelin | peachy! ]
[ Tuned into | My love is like whoa! ]


i was called BARBIE today! lol.. i wore an all pink outfit. i looked pretty cute! i hope michael liked it. i hava softball game tonight. my team sucks tho. we took 4th!!!! outta 5th place becasue there wasa 3 way tie for 2nd... which kinda blows. and we lost the game i wasnt at so it dropped us to 4th. 0o0o0o well. Life at school is actually sarting to get back to normal. im talking with alot more guys that are on the baseball team! its cool. Me and michael are PERFECT! nothing could ruin us! i love him! i love him soo much. i kno its nothing coming from me... but i truely do love him!

today in american gvt- dan davis pretty much called me a slut because he found out about alex n greg! stupid boy! oh well i guess riite? i dunno. im def. not gunna rush iinto anyhting iwth michael cuase i dont wanna ruin it. im likedead asleep riite now! you have no idea! Im happy with life riite now! this barbie thinggy is funny. lol sorry- i kno im going back to old stuf but i still think its funny.

Elections took place at school. Now im WAITING to see if i won or not... im scared to find out! lol... i dunno, im kinda doubting ill win. ill be so amazingly happie if i win tho. i wanna throw it all in the dumb bitches faces who talk about me! HEHE its lovely! hmmmmm.. im sleepy. ima go rest before my game!

Always

Laur

Link 2 Everything|What's wrong?



Nightmares, [Apr. 25th, 2004|06:38 am]
[ Feelin | sleepy ]
[ Tuned into | if you want to... i coudl save you... kinda song ]


you kno, nightmares are pretty scary. i mean, i just don't know whatt to do anymore. i keep having these aweful dreams and its hard for me to get any sleep. its not even 7 o clock and im away after i stayed on the phn wiht michael until like 1. i dont get it. i just feel like im falling and falling. hence the title of my journal.michael is pulling me out, but the more nightmares i have the worse my mind cant concentrate. i mean i kno ill be fine but im juss scared...

ona lighter note, i got friedat the pool yesturday. my face is all sunburnt and it looks good tho. hehe im nice and tan. i think im stll going to the beach but it rained all last night... i looked cute at michaels game but he was ina bad mood andn my parents came early but i didnt care because yeah... he was mean... but i think im done. i gotta headache n im sleep.

Laur

Link What's wrong?



I Feel so...blah [Apr. 24th, 2004|05:20 pm]
[ Feelin | exhausted ]
[ Tuned into | Dreamin of you tonight ]


I don't know what im feeling right now. im feeling a mix of emotions, for no particular reason. it sucks being in love with someone and you can't spend every waking moment with them. Michael is angry that im prolyl gonna go to the beach tomorro... i wish hed like the beach... why do i feel so... BLAH riite now? i went to my grandparnents pool today and got tan... so i dont kno. i did ALOT of thinking...i think a lil too much... im going to michaels game tonight so hopefully seeing him will get me outta the dumps. im out tho..

Always

Laur

Link What's wrong?



[Apr. 24th, 2004|10:35 am]
[ Feelin | okay ]
[ Tuned into | us against the world ]


Well, it another wonderful day in the neighbrhood. my computer is REALLY messed up. i wanna get a new one and so does my mom. im gogin to my grandmas house soon to go to her pool because yeah theresa buncha young guys working on my pool. there puttin the tile and the bricks on. i cant wait till its finished cause theni can have my michael over! hooray! hes always bizy doin hw... i get sick of it but w.e. janna has suppoidly been telling michaels old chikka shit abotu me. the stupid bitch. i cant believe i ever rwanted to be friends with her again. w/e works... just w.e works... my ankle feels sooo i dunno. not riite. its like im sooo fukkn uncomfortable. like last niite. well im done riiteing for now. my attention span is very low riite now . lol

Love Always

Lauren 1 month on monday!!!

Link What's wrong?



[Apr. 23rd, 2004|05:28 pm]
[ Feelin | bored ]
[ Tuned into | Always ]


My First Entry!!and im kinda happy to get things back to normal. I needed a diary thing so..."got diary" works! haha... well im trying to find out how to do stuff riite now so i don't know what to write. a ton of thing shave been going on in my mind but michael has been there for me every step of the way, i don't kno what id do without him. me and janna are no longer friends and will neverbe friends... but whtaver works.. im going to figure out how to work this crap!
i love yah
~Lauren
I LOVE MICHAEL ALOT!!





THose are all muh past entries from when i was in my old diary. yupp. i dont care anymore what people say!
its there choice! not mine! im raelly bored riight now. michael i think is comin over later. then go to my game with me! i cant wait! he'll actually be able to see me play. riight now he is at a baseball thinggy. i dont kno hat kinda baseball thinggy but alls i kno is its dumb! i still need to pay for this journal. i think i should get on the ball. i have a week left! alrighty then. im done! my doggie keeps on crying! hehe stilly girl! IM GETTING A POOL! its almost done! im happie! they are coloring it i think todya, the deck. its a very nuetral reds and oranges and yellows! and im ina very happy mood riite now so i wanna go n takea shower! yes im dumb since ill get all sweaty n grose later but oh well!
i lvoe yah michael!
MUAH!
Lauren

3 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


:: 2004 30 April :: 6.21 am
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: voice within

Well- im back. I just realized all of fort myers hates me now, and people are finally getting over reading this journal. i will write everything i feel whether you like it or not. imade a nother journal..

www.gotdiary.com/~n0t_s0_inn0cent

yeah that has a bunch of thoughts.
School is GAY but what can i say? Janna is a bitch, well so is Randee and Nicola, and everybody else. I really don't care! Me and Michael are perfect! Me and Courtni are really good friends now. yes, the girl i tripped over that no one could get over. Im happy to start this journal again. I mean i really shouldnt care what people say. like i put at the top of my journal

IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I WRITE, TOUGH SHIT!

thats the best. well- i hope people take that into consideration because well. i dont care anymore. comment al lyah want! leave anything yah want. does it really seem like i care? in 2 weeks over 400 people viewed my jouranl. thats pretty damn crazii. thats how many people care what i have to say! i mean thank you for making me the center of your world even tho its negative. it makes me kno that your always thinking abotu me and what i do and i dont kno i guess im happy with it. eileen uhlar hates me because yeah i kno that she had sex with john-michael
but yeah... its all good! lol she doesnt want anyone to kno abotu it, but hell i kno. yeah amanda bruno was havin sex when she was 13 with some 17 y/o! interesting. well it took me about an hour to re-do my jouranl. i think its pretty. its for michael (all the lil haears) im sooo happy to be writing again!
Always
Lauren







2 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


:: 2004 12 April :: 4.08 am
:: Mood: pissed off

I lied, this is my last entry. Stop leaving me comments. I've dropped, so should you. I don't care about you guys anymore. I realized I lost half my friends, so drop it. Im NOT going to fall back into tears and thoughts of suicide over you. Im not going to let my mind get so far because of people like you reading this (the ones who leave mean comments). Leave me alone, it's over, and there is nothing left. Let me live my life how I want to live it. You obviously weren't too good of friends if I dropped you. Think of it that way. I'm tired of the crap. So quit, I really don't give a damn. Michael is here for me, so I don't need any of you guys. I dont need help with anything except for getting what people say out of my head.
Bye
Sorry for being so blunt and rude.
Always and Forever
Lauren Nicole Smith

You don't mean anything to me..
...You're what I never wanna be...

10 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


:: 2004 11 April :: 1.51 am
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: complicated

Hey guys... this is my last entry for a while in here. It causes too much drama. I kno ive done alot of dumb things in my life and i cant make them up
so im ending in this journal. I have no friends, so why bother letting people read what goes on? it shouldnt matter. Im going to slowly get over me and janna. i mean itll take time but i think i can do it. i have michaels help so hopefully itll be alright.




Sorry....

Always and forever
Lauren


2 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


:: 2004 10 April :: 2.59 am
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: angel

this is like the 4th time ina week ive had this song stuck in my head haha ohw ell
i went to the movies with michael last niite! we saw that walking tall movie... yes we actually watched the movie! i love him ot death. i got other stuff to say but yeah haha people always spread my shit so ill juss talk to muh boy about it! hmmmmmm then we went ot johnny rockets
then hung out with brad n marcus fora bit then ran into carlos n his girl n some girl jessica who i despise but oh well.
today iw ent shoppin with muh momma. we went to miromar outlets to pick up her check n stuff n nothing relaly special. then we went to walmart, that was a journey of its own. im getting ready to go outside to tget a tan because it is really nice outside but i kinda dont feel like getting all sweaty but then again i usually do so yeah... i dunno..
anyways'
later mommy is taking me to some beach store to look for the swimsuit i want. i want something in the brown family with pink or yellow or something elsee on it. who knows? i hpe i can get what i want because that would be spiffy!
lets see.. tomorro is easter and im going to eat like a frickin cow! its gunna be great!!! ill actually get to gain weight! libby is coming next weekene. so yeah on next saturday ill be in orlando with her and a bunch of other eople from greensburgh salem. i cant wait to go like amy and libby n mary n leah n stephen n the other steven n yeah people that ive known for almost forever (kindergarden on)
i think im done rambling except i can never ramble about how much i love michael too much!
~always
Lauraina (my momma calls me that)
I Love My Michael Garczynski s00o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o much!!!!!!!!!

12 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


:: 2004 9 April :: 11.51 am
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: i can only imagine

Hi. ilove michael1! hes at work riite now wiht his dad. i miite be able to go to the movies with him tonight. i love him to pieces. hes my world!!
look what this nice person said...

@ 04-09-04 12:23am

damn u people talk way 2 much shit, ya shouldent threaten lauren, and she has plenty of friends, if I ever found out something happend and she got killed as a result of it, u can bet your ass I'll avenge her death, I'm glad u are happy now ur new bf seems nice,

i like people like that, that. kk im done! im on michaels sn riite now! lol his frined thinks its him trying to be me....but it hoenslt is me lol!! sorry michael! this is kinda fun!
I LOVE YOU TO PIECES
MUAH
~Laur
oh wait these are the kinda poeple that RAELLY ruin my day
TasteZLykEKandY: hey
TasteZLykECherrY: hi
TasteZLykEKandY: y the fuck do u have the same s/n as me
TasteZLykECherrY: um what
TasteZLykECherrY: how long have i had this?
TasteZLykECherrY: im sooo def. not in the mood to fiite
TasteZLykECherrY: so bye.
TasteZLykEKandY: u fuckin stole my fuckin s.n and ppl fuckin think that i copied u
TasteZLykEKandY: no fuck u whore
TasteZLykEKandY: go bang another one
TasteZLykEKandY: I'm NoT a HoE

I Jus KnO HoW 2 GiVe It

I'M NoT A SLut

I JUst KnOw How 2 HIt it!°x
TasteZLykEKandY: that needs some work done to it.. allow me to make the changes
TasteZLykEKandY: I'm a HoE

I Jus KnO HoW 2 GiVe head

I'M A Big SLut

I JUst KnOw How 2 have sex wit a whole bunch of guys/prolly grls too!°x
TasteZLykEKandY: ya fuck u get a new s/n whore!
TasteZLykEKandY: u kno y michaels dating u right...
TasteZLykEKandY: CUZ HE CAN GET SOME CUZ HE KNOWS UR A WHORE

1 *To pieces!* | *Do You love me?*


:: 2004 8 April :: 10.03 am
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: why cant i

hey if u wanna read sumpthin scroll down to my entry before this!! but yeah heres a convo!!!

CherriCola61: Whats with u n Janna
TasteZLykECherrY: look i dont wanna talk about it, i cry not for attention but because i lost my bestfriend so i would really not want to talk about it thank you.
TasteZLykECherrY: I love u jannnaaa
cherry_cola61
2004-04-08 13:42 (link)
JAnnnaaaa i love uuu and i got ur back 100% on this one...i think everyone does...except maybe michael...hehe...but i love you...and skrew lauren...if she wants to me like that then $%*U&$%&@$*(%&$*%#*$&%$*&% her!
haha...
TasteZLykECherrY: specially cause of that
TasteZLykECherrY: id rather not talk to you.
CherriCola61: well i do have her back
CherriCola61: and i have every right to
CherriCola61: read your journals lauren
TasteZLykECherrY: i have.
TasteZLykECherrY: oh i have.
TasteZLykECherrY: you gotta problem with it? tough.
CherriCola61: yeah well do you wonder why some people dont like u
TasteZLykECherrY: im not going to change because of you or anyone else.
CherriCola61: dont try and act all bad lauren
CherriCola61: i never asked u to change
TasteZLykECherrY: you dont like what write, dont read it.
TasteZLykECherrY: what i write**
CherriCola61: did i say i didnt like it
CherriCola61: i dont have a provblem with it
CherriCola61: but u cried before this happened
CherriCola61: so its no because of this
TasteZLykECherrY: no, i didnt.
CherriCola61: yes u did
TasteZLykECherrY: i crie din school because of the whole slut thing
TasteZLykECherrY: i cried twice because it relaly got on my nerves
CherriCola61: well lauren...who brought that upon themselves?
TasteZLykECherrY: but screw it.
CherriCola61: no dont even...everything you got, you brought on urself
TasteZLykECherrY: good
TasteZLykECherrY: and im happy with what i got
CherriCola61: no one made u do anything....no one made u write those things...or say those things
TasteZLykECherrY: i dont need janna
TasteZLykECherrY: and i dont need you
CherriCola61: yeah im sure u are
CherriCola61: yeah well ur saying what a bad friend she is and that u dont need people like her
TasteZLykECherrY: i dont need anybody but god
TasteZLykECherrY: nah i never said what a bad friend she is
TasteZLykECherrY: i said i dont need people like he
CherriCola61: wake up lauren...if it werent for her then u wouldnt be who u are today
TasteZLykECherrY: well, shes gone
TasteZLykECherrY: poof!
TasteZLykECherrY: oh well
CherriCola61: wanna bet! i got it in oine of ur journal entrys
TasteZLykECherrY: what saying i dont need her?
CherriCola61: yeah
CherriCola61: u said
CherriCola61: i dont need people and friends like janna so if she wants to be like that fine
CherriCola61: n' i have it
CherriCola61: so
TasteZLykECherrY: yepp
CherriCola61: dont tell me u didnt say it
TasteZLykECherrY: that menas, i dont need people like her
CherriCola61: YOU JUST TOLD ME U DIDNT SAY IT!!!
TasteZLykECherrY: uh no
CherriCola61: UH YES
TasteZLykECherrY: i said inever said that
TasteZLykECherrY: and i still didnt
TasteZLykECherrY: i dont need to explain myself to you.
TasteZLykECherrY: say what u wanna say
TasteZLykECherrY: do what u wanna do
CherriCola61: TasteZLykECherrY: nah i never said what a bad friend she is
TasteZLykECherrY: i dont care
TasteZLykECherrY: yeahcause i didnt
CherriCola61: YOU ARE CONTRADICTING URSELF LAUREN!!!
TasteZLykECherrY: no no
CherriCola61: YES YOU DID!!!!!!
TasteZLykECherrY: nono.
CherriCola61: YES YES
TasteZLykECherrY: look think what u want
TasteZLykECherrY: i dont care
TasteZLykECherrY: have fun
CherriCola61: what is your problem
CherriCola61: u need help lauren
TasteZLykECherrY: reading and thinking what u wanna think
CherriCola61: youre crazy
TasteZLykECherrY: yepp, so stay away.
CherriCola61: ya think i WANT to think that
TasteZLykECherrY: i dont need people to tell me this shit
TasteZLykECherrY: im just not gunna let it bug me no more.
CherriCola61: i can see that...
TasteZLykECherrY: like u ssaid..."skrew lauren anyway"
TasteZLykECherrY: err.
TasteZLykECherrY: "skrew lauren"
CherriCola61: yeah
TasteZLykECherrY: there we go
CherriCola61: dont try and be cute lauren
CherriCola61: that dosnt cover things up
TasteZLykECherrY: hehe
TasteZLykECherrY: why not!
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
TasteZLykECherrY: i dont care
TasteZLykECherrY: i said what i sadi
CherriCola61: yeah ur so funny
TasteZLykECherrY: me and janna arent friends
TasteZLykECherrY: what cha want?
TasteZLykECherrY: to rub it in?
TasteZLykECherrY: go ahead
CherriCola61: i dont need to rub it in
CherriCola61: atleast im a loyal friend
CherriCola61: she never did anything toy ou!
TasteZLykECherrY: hey look
TasteZLykECherrY: its over
TasteZLykECherrY: and i dont care!
TasteZLykECherrY: get over that fact.
CherriCola61: she put up with your ohhh poor me syndrome for so long,....and what shes given up, i dont blame her
CherriCola61: i dont need to get over shyt lauren
CherriCola61: GET OVER YOURSELF!!!!!
CherriCola61: just for ONE minute...why dont you stop and think that there are other people in this world besides you...and we dont all revolve around you
TasteZLykECherrY: i guess not
TasteZLykECherrY: so, why are u talkign to me/
CherriCola61: thats so irrelevent
CherriCola61: im saying realize that youre not the only important person lauren
CherriCola61: other people have feelings to
TasteZLykECherrY: oooh poor me!
TasteZLykECherrY: so leave me alone
TasteZLykECherrY: you dont like what i say too bad
CherriCola61: yeah pooor u
TasteZLykECherrY: im not gonna stop for people
TasteZLykECherrY: fuck people
CherriCola61: THATS WHY U HAVE NO FRIENDS
CherriCola61: because u backstab and talk behind peoples backs
TasteZLykECherrY: exactly!
CherriCola61: and they put up with it untill it gets to be too much
TasteZLykECherrY: yup
CherriCola61: whats left after u have nothing lauren
CherriCola61: huh
TasteZLykECherrY: god
TasteZLykECherrY: thats all i got left
TasteZLykECherrY: thats all i need riite now
CherriCola61: oooh poor me again
CherriCola61: stop the act lauren
TasteZLykECherrY: hey, nicola, you kno nothing about me
CherriCola61: this isnt u
TasteZLykECherrY: stop trying to think you do
CherriCola61: WHAT DO YOU KNOW!!!
CherriCola61: i never said i did
CherriCola61: now did I
TasteZLykECherrY: then dont try to act like u do
TasteZLykECherrY: you dont kno how i think
CherriCola61: i know that you're a drama queen...whos a backstabber...
TasteZLykECherrY: yepp
CherriCola61: YOU'RE CRAZY!!!
TasteZLykECherrY: talkk so much shit
CherriCola61: thats how u think
CherriCola61: yeah u do
TasteZLykECherrY: all the time
TasteZLykECherrY: your right
CherriCola61: Yeah
TasteZLykECherrY: what cha want? a metal?
CherriCola61: you got urself down so well
CherriCola61: no not a METAL
CherriCola61: wtf lauren
CherriCola61: that was a good one?
TasteZLykECherrY: what?
CherriCola61: wow i have nothing to say......bow down do lauren
TasteZLykECherrY: hm oh well
CherriCola61: skrew that idea
CherriCola61: im done
TasteZLykECherrY: good
CherriCola61: ur so not worth it
TasteZLykECherrY: whyd u im me anyway
CherriCola61: AT ALL
CherriCola61: to try and get u to realize
CherriCola61: but nothing can help u
TasteZLykECherrY: im not realzing shit
CherriCola61: ur so beyond help
TasteZLykECherrY: i dont need to realize shit
TasteZLykECherrY: i lost my bestfriend
CherriCola61: maybe you should!!!
TasteZLykECherrY: thats all i lost
TasteZLykECherrY: who cares?
TasteZLykECherrY: shes fine, so im fine.
TasteZLykECherrY: end of discussion.


bye!! READ THIS next entry cause it talks about my michael n me n jannas friendship!!
MUAH!
Lauren

like i said before, you dont like it, tough

3 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


:: 2004 8 April :: 4.25 am
:: Mood: hungry
:: Music: angel

Hola!
We lost against estero too!! 13-7, then i hada little league game and out pitcher had 8-2 in the 6th inning os i went in pitching so i final score was 10-2 haha. she complains about us missin the balls and she missed a bunch and kept forgetting to cover the steal so she can kiss it! yeah well me andjanna will never be friends again but thats okay because i mean i dont need a friend like her... if she really wants to be that way she can... go right ahead. i mean yeah it hurts but when she tells people on the team that i cry to get attention is bullshit, i think alot of people owuld cry if their bestfriend started to hate them... well not started to but did. soooo screw it. im not going to waste anymore of my life with her because its not worth it. yeah anything i say gets thrown around alot but hey, if poeple really wanna say what i say. go right ahead. i already kno it does soooo whatever works for yah guys! im getting rid of the unnning-from-herself journal because yeah i dont wanna pay for a journal but i think ill pay $2 to keep this one considering i make half my thoughts go into this. Hmm
i love michael alot.
hes the sweest guu=y!!! im soooo lucky to have him as my boyfriend and i hope i never veer ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever lose him. hes got that angel song stuck in my head for 3 frickin days lol. i put me on his website thinggy hes making in web dessign! im sooo happy he actually likes me fo rme. thats def that kinda guy that i wanna go out with and guess what! i gotta guy like that!
hes my baby!
k im going to look up the words to the song.. hold up..



Chorus:

Girl, you’re my angel, you’re my darling angel
Closer than my peeps you are to me, baby
Shorty, you’re my angel, you’re my darling angel
Girl, you’re my friend when I’m in need, lady

Life is one big party when you’re still young
But who’s gonna have your back when it’s all done
It's all good when you're little you're pure fun
Can’t be a fool son, what about the long run
Looking back Shorty always a mention
Say me not giving her much attention
She was there through my incarceration
I wanna show the nation my appreciation

Chorus

You’re a queen and so you should be treated
Though you never had the lovin’ that you needed
Coulda left, but I called and you heeded
Begged and I pleaded, mission completed
Mama said that I dissed the program
Not the type to mess around with her emotion
But the feeling that I have for you is so strong
Been together so long, this could never be wrong

Chorus

Girl, in spite of my behavior, said I’m your savior
(You must be sent from up above)
And you appear to me so tender, say girl I surrender
(Thanks for giving me your love)

Girl, in spite of my behavior, well, you are my savior
(You must be sent from up above)
And you appear to me so tender, well, girl I surrender
(Said thanks for giving me your love)

Now life is one big party when you’re still young
And who’s gonna have your back when it’s all done
It's all good when you live to have pure fun
Can’t be a fool son, what about the long run
Looking back Shorty always a mention
Say me not giving her much attention
She was there through my incarceration
I wanna show the nation my appreciation

Chorus 2x

my michael said this reminds him of me!!! im so happy hes my angel!! hehe i should switch around the words!! like i said before tho, the song playing in the backround is for him, muh one and only!!!! k well i gotta get ready for some yearbook party dinner thinggy at some japanese/chinese i dunno which kinda restraunt!!
i love you michael!! fuck everyone who doesnt like what i write, its my life and i dont give a fuck about you if you cant understand me !
Love always
Lauren! MuaH!!!!!!!!!!!!
CALL ME WHEN U READ THIS MICHAEL AND GOOD LUCK HUNNIE!!!

*Do You love me?*


:: 2004 6 April :: 7.15 am
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: angel

omg michael is the sweeest guy int the world.. he REALLY made me feel better at the very end of the day... well me n janna are havin issues if its not already around the school, so ive been above and beyond upset about it. Michael has beeen there for me every step of the way. today she gave me a hug gbecause i was crying so i dont kno what that menas.. i just dont want 4 yrs of freidnship to go down the tube for something really dumb.
ok well i gotta tell u what michael did
wait, before i do
yesturday we beat mariner 4-3? i think lol
and we lost today agaisnt north 4-3 haha same score!
tomoror we play estero, i cant wait for that one. itll be fun! anyway--
i was really sad and well kinda teary ALL like this week. n he has this song that he plays its the angel by shaggy and it reminds him of me
so today he was in web design and hes making a webpage and has my pics on it n stuff n he called my cell and left a message of just the song, i wanted to die
it was the greatest thing in the world.
hes so nice to me. i hope i never lose him. ok well i think im done for now im not supposed to be on the computer
love always
Lauren

1 *To pieces!* | *Do You love me?*

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