>*when i l0ok in the mirr0r i imagine a pretty gurl
`& i think that can*t b me
`til i 0pen my eyes 'nd see the real me

the girl w i t h the br0wn e y e s wh0 has makeup smeared 0n her face

fr0m wipin away the tears

a girl wh0s afraid 0f r e g r e t
a girl wh0*s c0nfused
wh0 can*t make up her mind,
why must i fight my insecurites
why can't i b happy*

I Gave up my world... but you stabbed me in the back...

I'm calm on the outside... but on the inside ive been screaming constantly

I write, not for the sake of glory, not for the sake of same, not for the sake of success, but for the sake of my soul.

<<<<YoU DoNt LiKe WhAt I wRiTe, ToUgH sHiT>>>> ">..I doNt streSs theSe lil qameZ bytchez play cuZ aLL deM hoEs be faKKe aNyWaYs...


MoOZiK JamZ

 

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playachika

:: 2004 3 July :: 1.21pm
:: Music: sgt pepper

99 ?S
INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Copy this whole list into your journal.
2. Bold the things that are true about you.
3. Whatever you don't bold is false.

01. When I was younger, I made some bad decisions
02. I don't watch much TV these days
03. I love olives
04. I love sleeping
05. I own lots of books
06. I wear glasses or contact lenses
07. I love to play video games
08. I've tried marijuana
09. I've watched porn movies
10. I have been in a threesome
11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship
12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy
13. I have acne free skin
14. I like and respect Al Sharpton
15. I curse frequently
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year
17. I have a hobby
18. I've been told I: (women) have an applebottom, (men) am packing.-By a freaky dude in Las Vegas.
19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me
20. I'm really, really smart
21. I've never broken someone's bones
22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal
23. I hate the rain
24. I'm paranoid at times
25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free
26. I need money right now
27. I love Sushi
28. I talk really, really fast
29. I have fresh breath in the morning
30. I have semi-long hair (Just average, medium-length hair)
31. I have lost money in Las Vegas
32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister
33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
34. I shave my legs (females) or face (males) on a regular basis
35. I have a twin
36. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyes in the past
37. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
38. I like the way that I look (usually)
39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months
40. I know how to cornrow
42. I have a lot of mood swings
43. I think prostitution should be legalized
44. I think Britney Spears is hot
45. I have cheated on a Sig. O. in the past
46. I have a hidden talent
47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have
48. I think that I'm popular
49. I am currently single
50. I have kissed someone of the same sex
51. I enjoy talking on the phone
52. I practically live in sweatpants
53. I love to shop
54. I would rather shop than eat
55. I would classify myself as ghetto
56. I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders
57. I'm obsessed with my LiveJournal
58. I don't hate anyone. I dislike them.
59. I'm a pretty good dancer
60. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington
61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother
62. I have a cell phone
63. I believe in God
64. I watch MTV on a daily basis
65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months
66. I love drama
67. I have never been in a real relationship before
68. I've rejected someone before
69. I currently have a crush on someone
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life
71. I want to have children in the future
72. I have changed a diaper before
73. I've called the cops on a friend before
74. I bite my nails
75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club
76. I'm not allergic to anything (not that I know of)
77. I have a lot to learn
78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger
79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie
80. I am very shy around the opposite sex
81. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message
82. I have at least 5 away messages saved
83. I have tried alcohol or drugs at a party
84. I have made a move on a friend's Sig. O. in the past
85. I own the "South Park" movie
86. I have avoided assignments at work to be on LiveJournal- Ive avoided homework
87. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum
88. I enjoy country music
89. I would die for my best friends
90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza-one of the best.. im just really hungry
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can
92. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist (yeah, I'm a perfectionist)
93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career
94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all
95. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story"- Uncle Ricky, tell us a bedtime story.. He robbed a sista and a brother and another and another, Dave the dope man trippinon dope dont know the meaning of water nor soap
96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy
97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it
98. I have dated a close friend's ex
99. I'm happy as of this moment

Well what a quiz kinda type deal! libby leaves im about... 4 hours!! oh no!! we still have to play "dress up"
ashiee is gettin better. im so excited. i want to see her so bad but shes still in the icu. Jenna and i are talking as frineds. me and janna actualyl talked.. wow thinngs are starting to look up. i watched dane last niight. hes so adorable and he fell asleep on me!!!

what else... hmm... ill write later. my mom might walk in

*Do You love me?*


desiredrelease

:: 2004 2 July :: 2.18am

change starts when someone sees the next step // William Drayton
sorry all that had no influence on current events
all entries from here on out will be private

some in particular cannot seem to comprehend that when matters have been dismissed, it is final

this should have been put through ages ago
and i am done

with all of your bullshit, for lack of better wording




who was i to expect that you would appreciate
only, h. macarthur

isn't that right?






and for the record
i have more class and proper decency than to act as others have

and i am flattered to know that i inspired you to create a livejournal
must have been worth something in the end, was it not



never was it worth anything more than






and with mention of the subject of friends
i wouldn't mind dropping all that i have

it's overrated


playachika

:: 2004 30 June :: 4.14pm
:: Mood: pissed off

my family sucks ass.
escpecially my mom. now she thinks lip gloss is makeup! wow-- what a FUCKING bitch. whatever i hate her. i hope she rots in hell.

*Do You love me?*


playachika

:: 2004 27 June :: 11.38pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: times like these

wow... this has defiantly been an intereting day plus some hours. lastnight i found out one of my best friends got into a car accident on friday. janna called me to tell me the news despite our differences.
her, her sister and grandmother were all put in the icu under critical condition. today i found out ashley and her grandma are now in serious which is better than critical. my cryign can now cease because i kno that they will be ok.
jeannie and i created a journal for ashley

http://www.livejournal.com/~ashleys_letters/

i hope eveyrone goes because it means alot to me. i want ashley to have the best return home and tons of get well messages as possible.

ash hhas fractures in both legs and taylor was in worse condition. they both are requiring a wheelchair bbut they are both going to mak eit through all of this.
its going to take quite a while for her to recover but i kno with the help of her friends, anything is possible.
i love my ashley hintze. she is code silver, shes my hero!!! and my sexxie pepsii lover!!
Always
Lauren
Comment me and leave prayers for ash.. once agian the link is

http://www.livejournal.com/~ashleys_letters/

*Do You love me?*


playachika

:: 2004 26 June :: 10.30am
:: Mood: thankful

ashley is ok!! she was in a car accident, but shes ok. i love her to death and i dont kno what id do without her!!! thank god for the miracle... thank god!!!! they almost lost her! but shes ok... my bestfriend ashley is ok..
Always
LAuren

thank yous o much god!

*Do You love me?*


playachika

:: 2004 26 June :: 4.07am
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: i miss you

Hi there! guess who is finalyl here! i can end my countdown! yes, the one, the only, LIBBY! lol... so far weve gone to the beach twice and sges only been here for 3 days! uesytrday we went iwth billy and dewitt. then it rained and i got sick so they just took us home an dtryed to fix the ghettoness my sister caused on my computer. but they had no luck!! oh well. i hope m en lib can chill with them more. she seems like like them YAY!!!! lol i kept takin the front seat from dew and he got mad but heeeyyy thats alirghty! no body reads my journal anymore and its actually almost a relief! somtimes tho, i wish that my friends would comment me more ((wink wink)) lol...
but anyway
the first day we went to the beach we went with my neighbors and i sumwhat got my tan back after the devestating month i was nota llowed in the usn! but my mom says i cant be in the usn more than 2 hours!! ahh that sucks ass, but i mean its osmething.
on... wed. the day lib came i finally got my peermitt yay!! my signature got kidna cut off tho...
then i also went over michaels hosue before that wonderful time and yeah i fixed his comp cause some files were being gay, and then... uhh... yeah we rode bikes to burger king!! i got sum food and he told me im gunna get fat if i keep eating as much as i do cause lol im always eating!! but hey thats ok, im starting to sound like dewitt. tonight we might go to cicis and bother amanda while she works!! ahh i love bothering jenna!! its hilarious!!
ok well ill write later, libby wants to go paint our toenauils!! yay!!!
Always n Forever
Lauren
leave me a comment!!!!
i lov emichael!!!

*Do You love me?*


playachika

:: 2004 22 June :: 9.37am
:: Music: back at one

Hi.
Well, yesterday, i went to the beach with my mom.. and that was pleasant. im trying to get my tan back. then me my sister and the neighbor girls all went to the mall and courtney was wearing make up and i noticed. and lets get this straight, i wasn't allowed to wear makeup until this year and my mom still throws out my makeup because she doesnt want me wearing it. So, courtney wears it and doesn't get in toruble so i got pissed off abotu it. Then, she always takes my clothing so i got pissed off abotu that one too!
so, in the car, right before home, me and courtney get into it so i say that im going to go through her stuff. she locks herself in the room. so i got get one of these key thinggys that unlocks the door and shes sitting up against the door. everytime i get the door a lil open, she fucking started sceaming.. "mommy!" or "Lauren go get mommy" at the top of her lungs. So about 10 minutes of her screaming, my mom flys inside and runsupstairs and bitches at me becasuse she thought i did stuff to her. that wasn't fair to me, so i got pissed. and courtney swore up and down she had NONE of my clothes. and whattyah kno! she had my whole outfit and a couple shirts! stupid liar! then she lied to my mom about wearing makeup! and my mom did nothing about it! i was sooo fucking pissed off. then my mom said i cant get my shit so im sooo fucking pissed still. even tho it was yesterdya. seriosuly, i thought i was going to kill yesterday. lindsey and sidney wanted both of us to go to dinner at their house but i was going to kill her so i didnt go... they had good food too1 i didnt eat didnner because my mom is too busy trying to fatten me up when im not fucking hungry but shes making me eat every fucking second of the day! i dont want to look like counrtey and amanda is just as thin as i am, if not skinnier, she just has a bigger waist. so whatevr.
Libby comes tomorro! and im supposed to get my thing tomorro too but i dont know if im allowed now! ahh it pisses me off royally!
did you kno that there is a program that cna get the password to anything??? yeah this one person got it! joel! he used a program and hacked into my journal! hmm i hope not everyone can do that! and i hope you guys who are reading this hasn't given anything out!
oh yeah--- get this,
with my new sn i made a new profile and carlos's girlfriend just wont leave me alone! shelooks at fuking evreything because she has no life! i mean she even took the "do you kno me" test! lol... what is up with that?? well yeah im done. i need to go clean the house for muh bestestfriend int he whole wide world to come because i have softball practice tonight if i feel good
Love Always
Laur
Comments!

1 *To pieces!* | *Do You love me?*


playachika

:: 2004 21 June :: 11.21am
:: Music: milkshake

well hi.
it has been a few days. libby comes in 2 days... the same day that i get my permitt!! wooo!! michael wants me to go over to his house todya but im going to get a tan! because of the sn... TanBi0tch, i gotta live it up.!
I havnt seen michael for about aweek, but yeah.. i dont kno when i will.. hes going on vaacation on july 6th for like 10 days to some place.. i dont remmeber hwere...
Saturday night i spent the night at my neighbors, we had a blast!! there lil bro Dane is the sweetest lil 2 y/o in the world!!! he stayed up till like 11 with us watching scary movie, and then i finalyl put him to bed by picking him up and rocking him until he fell asleep, then me and lindsey took him up stairs and he slept!
lets ee... yesturday was fathers day, i kept eating and eating and yeh it was interesitng. lol we had sundays!!! thats what my daddy wanted to do because he wasnt home all day... its hard to believe i only have 3 more fathers day here and well, then its all gone! Mommys shoppin right now and then we will prolly go to the beach!
i wanna look like the girl in the backround of my journal! i think i like this layout, ill keep it fora while, but i might keep chanign the song because i cant find a song to completely go with the thing.. os yeah!
i think im done going on about my life... i needa go stick on my swimsuit!
Love Always
Laur

*Do You love me?*


desiredrelease

:: 2004 20 June :: 4.50pm

i need to get back to the swing of things
update as i used to


in paragraphs that form a narrative
rather than sketchy thoughts





bah humbug


desiredrelease

:: 2004 20 June :: 4.13pm
:: Mood: uncomfortable
:: Music: fall out boy, calm before the storm

you said, between your smiles and regrets dont say its over, dead and gone the calm before the storm set it off, a reception less than warm set it off the sun burnt out tonight..

The South Hampton's, Seen Through the Discrepancies of Media Coverage



consumed by vividly colored polos
telecasting of times gone by, previews of plaid pants
they discuss the name he has made for himself
how he annually maintained of improved that name
followed closely by the interview of another, the name tells all
the best in the business
approaching personal matters with no thought of consideration
the slaughter of a name appears before the viewers
to think the pair of them were incapable of being defeated
not a solitary affair this great lasts in perpetuity
controversy arose, and the pair was no more
Butch Harmon and his student Tiger Woods
evident that Woods has become something he was never designated to be
modifying his ways, not following his old positioning
and they speak of him, as if the downside could not be heard by him
where has he gone, what is he think, does not he know
not accustomed to the manner in which he is maneuvering
shattered name, as Harmon agrees
no defending champion in this return

eighteenth hole left to the one who chips it the best
intensity built around Phil Mickelson
a bet has been placed on the skills of this man
latest tee time, at approximation, saving the best for last
and among these same lines, Woods swung early
too much to be expected of him, hardly
not to dwell on the outcome, suggested advice
contemplation and control encircle this sport
stretches of green, represent the tranquility of nature, envy, or the richness of currency
pressure to swing, consistent with the distance in his eyes

and it all correlates with Fathers Day
champion named on this day of honor
to make a name for yourself, is that not important
but silence of Shinnecock Hills breaks the inspiration
another steps forward to the force of the ball and tee
the shout of their name, a name made for themselves

we are not all to have names
simply those watching the names perform, simply those watching the US Open


and when the screen turns from the green to sponsors
those are conditioned to think these products can make a name for themselves
commercials of trendy vehicles, a Lexus rolling delicately
strive for a name but not with products
rather potential

diamond in the rough, it continues to be definitive
and what a clever pun it is, discussing golfing, and landing in the rough
compliment of compliments, but it is left to wonder
the rough is not where you want to be
the green would be the destination of approval
the color of envy, to be the object of envy





and as the ball runs smoothly over the rim of the cup, smirking in the eyes of millions
a man in the crowd could be heard above the rest

close, but no cigar


desiredrelease

:: 2004 19 June :: 10.44pm
:: Mood: rejected
:: Music: new found glory, the glory of love

i am the man who will fight for your honor i will be the hero that youre dreaming of going to live forever knowing together that we did it all for the glory of love..
am i the only one who has the above song unremovable from their mind? if not, let me know


with that said, i continue on..










men are naturally conflict-prone
men are naturally dissatisfied
men are naturally incompetent

the nature of men argued by machiavelli is their natural deceit
to lie, to cheat, to betray
the above define the act of deception

to know of one who lies to another
to have a relationship with the one who lies to another, speaking of self-deception
to be curious if the one who lies to another has ever to you

and i am the worst
heard that i couldnt hold a candle to others
how little they know of

catch me in a lie
change me, i beg of you




the remembrance of the past few days appear upon my arms, thirteen memories of night gone past only to be found on my left limb, despite the many my right arm aches more so, oblivious to the scratching i am, disturbing the memories as they are, how so we do forget

and i keep reminded myself to write it down, to not to let it slip away
to not injure with those eager claws, to not merely scratch away the little that remains

these relics of remembrance are from times gone past, those times of freedom, yet control
jordyn moved into her newly bought house yesterday
sweltering hot embodied the thoughts of all involved, all liquids absorbed even before lunch time

and this is when we set out
to escape from that cage of obedience
i dont understand why the caged bird sings, must not know of what lies beyond
beyond goes on forever, parallel to eachother, the similarity familiar, a close companion
forever and beyond, is that not what you declared

after setting out, we came across the community pool
closed at this hour, past dusk and the stars that we would encounter last that night were revealing overhead
upsetting the order of the way matters seemingly cooperate, i set one foot in the chain link fence
at this point, jordyn already rotated her direction, proceeding to where we began
taking notice that i didnt follow her lead, she called out my name
to be returned with a voice from within the chainl ink fence
following giggles and being called mad

we jumped
into the pool


actually i jumped, she slowly dipped one foot, descending more of the leg until she was submerged
fully clothed in a community pool that was officially locked upon ten o'clock
a full day of residing in the neighborhood had not yet settled, and already we had broken a ridiculous regulation
a tad of a scare, i must admit, overcame myself when the neighbors paid heed to our act
the light that accompanied them, shone in our faces, was enough to alarm any by passer

ducked underwater and made our way to the wall of the pool, didnt think it to be substantial to conceal ourselves
but those with the lights couldnt wait around until daybreak, in search of the hell bound scoundrels
no such luck, i am afraid

retreated to their homes, but we werent as ready to end the fascination
disturbing the seemingly tranquil arrangement of the furniture, we questioned their invitation
into the pool we brought the chairs and contrasting table
as it came to an end, we attempted to dry ourselves, by laying under the stars on the chalky top of the tennis courts, to be resurfaced in the upcoming weeks

this wouldnt be the last we saw of the stars
as we remainded under them the entirety of the night
the air mattress was blown up, seeing as only the first moving truck had bothered to show upon the doorstep
rather than spend the night, or what was left of it, inside those four walls, we shifted to the balcony
reserved only for jordyn and myself, and the few stars that managed to shine through the clouds of night



and that is where those memories upon my arm come in place
representing the memories that i have come to forget


that night uptop the bleacher when all surrounding qualified only for the two of us
and you brought me in close, so that i didnt even know what was happening
to this day, to this very day i cannot recall how it took place


you looked so good in love
and i can assure that i did as well

torn apart it was
memories erased, i hope you know im still in the process

the one most vivid, i have to say
is another night, spent in this very room in which i find myself at the time of typing

and it does something to me
eyes blurred with tears




and to think that i, that i feel this way
most cannot think, for the concealing i do

and i hope you dont read this


playachika

:: 2004 19 June :: 12.31pm
:: Mood: hungover
:: Music: freak a leak

HOly shit! okay, i HAVE to tell about my.. uhh.. interesting night last night!
alritght, it all started at prolly uhhh 3 yesturday wen i finally got to nicole's! btw she is turning into like one of my best friends.. if she isnt already!
so yeah we didnt have like anything to do so we went to the mall for a couple hours and i saw chad odem! he looks sooo sooo different! but anyways
then we got ready to go somewhere even tho we still didnt have anywhere to go.
then, we were talking to these one guys who hada buncha peopel over but they sounded stoned and we called this one guy Chris! and his friends!! so they came, we saw, we met, then we left.
we ended up toging to a party on the beach with a whole hell of a lotta college guys! wooo that was fun! but the thing was, i got completely wasted, fell dowstairs and stuff and yeah it didnt end up being good at all. i had to be carried like everywhere. i feel so bad about nicole and stuff... i mean i dont want to ruin her friendships with anyone and she sat up with me all night long and... AHHH! its so scary! Then he rborther Chris came home and he finally got me to sleep somewhere i guess around 300 ... so yeah.. my head hurtsd like a bitch... i juss wanna tell nicole im sooo sooo sooo sosryr but i mean theres not enough words ti descrubbe how sorry i am to her... i hope she reads this! im sorry michael!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for worrying you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Always
Lauren
Leave me Some Comments


1 *To pieces!* | *Do You love me?*


desiredrelease

:: 2004 17 June :: 6.29pm

lasting impression excepted
and now the heartbreak has begun

and a long broken promise has once again resurfaced
text entry shall appear in the near future

urgency to write
alas, i cannot
spent days rushed with lapses few and far between

next chance, right away at once
before i leave suddenly, almost there going nowhere


desiredrelease

:: 2004 17 June :: 2.30pm

this makes me insanely happy


playachika

:: 2004 17 June :: 1.47am
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: behind blue eyes

hi...
today i was supposed to over to michaels house but my mom never got home until late... i mean shes still not fucking home! shes been gone since like 10 o clock too! n its almost 2! tonight im going to go ot softball practice at the school. AJ didnt call me until yesturday to tell me but it started on tuesdya! what a fucker! honestly! hes so fucking gay!i hate him asa coach! he could have at least had the curtosy to clal me so i coulda gone on tuesday, but i found out from lindsday! im not saying i can do much at practice but i mean it woulda been nice to have been there to see what were gunna be doing....
amanda bruno is once again mad at me. because of the whole jessica situation. poeple seriously need to just grow the fuck up! dude, its hard to type when my nails are long! i just noticed that because i type witht eh tip of my nails and its starting to feel realyl weird! lol i was oging to print off my whole entired journal but i think thats a lil too hard!
for some reaosn i feel lkike crying. i dont even kno why! libby come sin 6 days! maybe shell make me feel better. and i get my permitt so ill be able to practice my driving without my dad complaining and saying that i dont even have my permitt yet.
i need to complete some of the AP Euro stuff soon. i mean im definatly procrastinating about it, let me tell yah! i still gotta read the books, but i kno i cant use spark notes becaue the packet asks specific questions and my like mrs. copeland will ask specific ?s ona test or something after summer is over..
well i think im going to go jump in the pool because i dont kno, i just feel like shit and ill race mindy across. i need to get sum excercise before tonight! ahh itll be oh so much fun!
Love always
Lauren
Leave me sum Comments!

1 *To pieces!* | *Do You love me?*


playachika

:: 2004 16 June :: 11.18am
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: ricky lake musiC

Hi. i was supposed to go with mommy and the neighbor lady to lunch today but mommy changed her mind so im no longer going :'(
last night i saw michael. We saw this one Chronicals of Riddick movie, so it didnt involve hardly any walking at all (( thank god! )) The other night i saw Nicole and yeah we had fun! we went to bed somewhere around 3 o'clock!
Courtney is at sunsplash right now because she already asked Sid to go with her. But yeah i feel so sleepy!
ill write later
i love you
Laur

*Do You love me?*


playachika

:: 2004 15 June :: 1.01am
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: freak a leak

holy shit read this converstation!

TasteZLykEKandY: whore
TasteZLykECherrY: why am i a whore?
TasteZLykEKandY: go do another one!
TasteZLykEKandY: cuz u bang the whole world
TasteZLykECherrY: lol i do?
TasteZLykEKandY: oh ya
TasteZLykEKandY: even me!
TasteZLykECherrY: yup
TasteZLykEKandY: nasty whore
TasteZLykEKandY: wit herpies
TasteZLykECherrY: yep
TasteZLykEKandY: yeast infection bitch
TasteZLykECherrY: yep
TasteZLykEKandY: whore
TasteZLykEKandY: whore
TasteZLykECherrY: yep
TasteZLykEKandY: whore
TasteZLykECherrY: uep
TasteZLykEKandY: whore
TasteZLykECherrY: yep
TasteZLykEKandY: whore
TasteZLykECherrY: yep
TasteZLykEKandY: whore
TasteZLykECherrY: yep
TasteZLykEKandY: whore
TasteZLykECherrY: yep
TasteZLykEKandY: gay ass
TasteZLykECherrY: yep
TasteZLykEKandY: whore
TasteZLykECherrY: yep
TasteZLykEKandY: whore
TasteZLykECherrY: yep
TasteZLykEKandY: whore
TasteZLykECherrY: yep
TasteZLykECherrY: im just as much a whore as you are:-):-):-)
TasteZLykEKandY: haha thats funny u wish someone was as whoreish as u r
TasteZLykEKandY: i am nothin like u
TasteZLykECherrY: really? cool.
TasteZLykECherrY: i guess you're right.
TasteZLykEKandY: I KNO I'M RIGHT BITCH
TasteZLykECherrY: you win.
TasteZLykEKandY: U SLEPT WIT SO MANY OTHER PPL
TasteZLykECherrY: yes i did.
TasteZLykECherrY: so many.
TasteZLykECherrY: everybody.
TasteZLykEKandY: I KNO
TasteZLykECherrY: are you done trying to make me look bad?
TasteZLykEKandY: NOPE
TasteZLykECherrY: oh then can you hurry up?
TasteZLykEKandY: UR ALREADY UGLY I CANT MAKE U ANY WORSE THAN THAT U ANEREXIC BITCH
TasteZLykECherrY: ok? done yet?
TasteZLykEKandY: NOPE
TasteZLykEKandY: GET A NEW S/N U FUCKIN POSER
TasteZLykECherrY: yes that's me. i am a poser.
TasteZLykECherrY: i want to be just like you.
TasteZLykECherrY: wait a sec!
TasteZLykEKandY: WHAT UR SCREWIN SOMEONE
TasteZLykECherrY: hey! i have a new s/n!
TasteZLykEKandY: IN THE ASS
TasteZLykECherrY: TasteZLykEKanddY
TasteZLykECherrY: you should IM it.
TasteZLykEKandY: NO CUZ UR A FUCKIN BITCH
TasteZLykEKandY: I HATE U
TasteZLykEKandY: I ALWAYS HATED U
TasteZLykEKandY: AND GUESS WHAT
TasteZLykEKandY: UR A WHORE
TasteZLykECherrY: yes i am.
TasteZLykEKandY: STUPID WHORE
TasteZLykECherrY: yes i am.
TasteZLykECherrY: are you finished yet?
TasteZLykECherrY: you're wasting your own time.
TasteZLykEKandY: UR RIGHT B/C I ACTUALLY HAVE A LIFE AND GO OUT AND PARTY UNLIKE U WHO DOESNT HAVE ANY FRIENDS AND SITS AT HOME WIT UR WHOREISH SELF FINGERIN URSELF ALL DAY WIT UR NASTY HERPIES COOTER
TasteZLykEKandY is away at 9:41:30 AM.
TasteZLykECherrY: lol yep

Auto response from TasteZLykEKandY: LAUREN SMITH IS A BIG ASS WHORE!
TasteZLykEKandY (12:37:09 PM): U SLEPT WIT SO MANY PPL
TasteZLykECherrY (12:37:13 PM): yes i did.

TasteZLykECherrY: back yet?

Auto response from TasteZLykEKandY: LAUREN SMITH IS A BIG ASS WHORE!
TasteZLykEKandY (12:37:09 PM): U SLEPT WIT SO MANY PPL
TasteZLykECherrY (12:37:13 PM): yes i did.


why do people think im such a whore? lol! its so funny!
oh tastezlykekandy is monica harrison!
oh yeah gues what?!?!?
i made up a screen name to copy hers..
TASTEZLYKEKANDDY lol its JUST like hers!!!
ill write later!
Muah!
8 days till Libby comes down and 8 days until i get my permitt!!!!

1 *To pieces!* | *Do You love me?*


playachika

:: 2004 14 June :: 10.41am
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: behind blue eyes

ITS ME AND MICHAELS 3 MONTH MARK!!!!!!!!

Well after a day of crying, i finally feel as if i can write something more happy. Around 8 o'clock last night, i just was amused by everything and antyhing! it was realy weird, i was in the best mood i was ever in all summer, except screaming at mexicans and throwing eggs at signs with muh buds!
Me and Michael have to work alot of things out and i htink we can do it, but then again... he needs to earn my trust back. to get my trust is hard now because so many people break that trust with me. For some reason it feels like my world is slowly falling lately... it seems like when things get tough, it gets tougher. its even summer. maybe all the drama from the last weeks of school is getting to me. i didnt let it and i act like such a tough person, but in all reality, im just a scared little girl who just wants to hide from the facts and live in her dream world.
i think i like that.. what i just wrote to describe my life, its the truth. ihate dealign with the truth because well, the truth hurts.... lsat night i had a converstation with kelsey griner. some stupid girl who was trying to bitch me out so i got on my favorite thing now, AIM remix and had my own bitching out at her...
here let me show you the WHOLE converstation! its long...

lovemesurfer004: where do you get off talking about someones brother who comitted suicide?
TasteZLykECherrY: lol fuck off.
lovemesurfer004: this is kelsey griner by the way
lovemesurfer004: wow that one really hurt
lovemesurfer004: and it was real original
lovemesurfer004: seriously though? can you please just please explain to me why you think you have the right to talk about someone elses family who died?
lovemesurfer004: oh maybe you just dont care.......maybe thats just it
TasteZLykECherrY: lol i didnt talk about it, she wants me to change my damn life for her, she can kiss my fucking ass:-):-):-)
TasteZLykECherrY: lol i dont!
lovemesurfer004: why do you think its soo damn funny?
TasteZLykECherrY: lol cause i dont give a damn what people think of me anymore!
lovemesurfer004: change your life........its a word on your profile!
lovemesurfer004: im sorry if thats your life
TasteZLykECherrY: i love my life:-)
TasteZLykECherrY: i have fun with it
TasteZLykECherrY: yah gotta problem?! TO FUCKING BAD!
lovemesurfer004: im sorry if you changing a word changes your life
lovemesurfer004: i do have problem
TasteZLykECherrY: lol good talk to someone else
lovemesurfer004: no i will talk to you, you;re the one who creates all the drama!
TasteZLykECherrY: her brother killed himself, i really dont care! thats none of my business
TasteZLykECherrY: oh shut the fuck up
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
lovemesurfer004: then dont talk about him to her!
TasteZLykECherrY: i didn
TasteZLykECherrY: she brought him up
lovemesurfer004: you did!
TasteZLykECherrY: nope sorry
lovemesurfer004: nooooooooooyoudid
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
TasteZLykECherrY: ok
TasteZLykECherrY: please tell me how i brought him up
lovemesurfer004: its on the internetfor everyone to see
TasteZLykECherrY: whats it say?
TasteZLykECherrY: JESSICAS WRIGHTS BORTHER KILLED HIMSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TasteZLykECherrY: JESSICA WRIGHTS BROTHER KILLED HIMSELF
TasteZLykECherrY: LIKE THAT?
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
TasteZLykECherrY: ill do it
lovemesurfer004: youre going to rot in hell and i hope i see every minute of it
TasteZLykECherrY: cause i dont give a damn
TasteZLykECherrY: lol:-)
lovemesurfer004: and you call yourself a christian
TasteZLykECherrY: yep i do!
TasteZLykECherrY: ima christian and damn proud of it
TasteZLykECherrY: god forgives my sins
lovemesurfer004: haha then you might want to check up on that
TasteZLykECherrY: so i dont dwell on the past anymore
TasteZLykECherrY: i leave that to you guys
TasteZLykECherrY: :-):-):-):-)
lovemesurfer004: then your the stupidest person ive ever met
TasteZLykECherrY: yessss ma'am
TasteZLykECherrY: i am:-)
lovemesurfer004: im not "dwelling on the past" im asking you where yo ucome off making fun of someone
TasteZLykECherrY: lol!!!!!!!! now im making fun of it!
TasteZLykECherrY: lol yeah i am now
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
lovemesurfer004: relaly its notttt worth talking to you - youre an
IDIOT
TasteZLykECherrY: yes i am
lovemesurfer004: have fun with your messed up life
TasteZLykECherrY: i am an idiot!
TasteZLykECherrY: i will have fun with my messed up life
lovemesurfer004: really congrats
TasteZLykECherrY: becaue i dont give a shit!
TasteZLykECherrY: :-):-):-):-):-):-) :-):-):-):-):-):-) :-):-):-):-):-):-) :-):-):-):-):-)
lovemesurfer004: wow youre so cool
TasteZLykECherrY: i hope u have had a joy talking to me and making me a part of your thoughts:-D
TasteZLykECherrY: i appreciate it
TasteZLykECherrY: I LOVE YOU!
TasteZLykECherrY: BYE!
lovemesurfer004: haha your really funny if you think i was thinking of you - i was thinking of jess when i did this. i didnt do this for you bitch i did it for jess and rikki
TasteZLykECherrY: well cool
TasteZLykECherrY: im glad
TasteZLykECherrY: adios amigo!
lovemesurfer004: amigo wow wrong
TasteZLykECherrY: hmmm
TasteZLykECherrY: oh yeah
TasteZLykECherrY: amiga!
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
lovemesurfer004: um nope
TasteZLykECherrY: i dont kno what the world would be
TasteZLykECherrY: chica!
lovemesurfer004: how about i hate you try that one
TasteZLykECherrY: muchacha!
lovemesurfer004: can you say that in spanish bitch?
TasteZLykECherrY: oh but i love you:-)
TasteZLykECherrY: lol lemme fina translattor so i can
lovemesurfer004: im so glad that you doooo
lovemesurfer004: alright
lovemesurfer004: go waste your time
TasteZLykECherrY: lol you wasted your time im'in me
TasteZLykECherrY: TasteZLykECherrY: how do u say i hate u in spanish
cubanodelbejuco: te odio
lovemesurfer004: no i didnt
TasteZLykECherrY: thats i hate u in spanish1
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
lovemesurfer004: alright well te odio!
TasteZLykECherrY: :-)
TasteZLykECherrY: gracias
TasteZLykECherrY: yo quiero tu!
lovemesurfer004: \and its yo lo odio for your information
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
TasteZLykECherrY: i got that fromma spanish guy
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
lovemesurfer004: did yo ufuck him too?
TasteZLykECherrY: yep
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
lovemesurfer004: i got it from a translator
TasteZLykECherrY: all the time!
lovemesurfer004: lol im real glad yo uthink its funny
TasteZLykECherrY: me 2
TasteZLykECherrY: im havin a good time
lovemesurfer004: awesome
lovemesurfer004: ride him hard bitch
TasteZLykECherrY: hehe ill ride michael hard just for u:-):-):-):-)
lovemesurfer004: go get him killer?
TasteZLykECherrY: and scream.... kelsey kelsey!
lovemesurfer004: alright
lovemesurfer004: you do that
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
lovemesurfer004: oh its funnnny lemme tell you
TasteZLykECherrY: it is to me
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
TasteZLykECherrY: maybe not to you because you are oh so pissed off
TasteZLykECherrY: but me on the other hand am having a shitload of fun this summer
TasteZLykECherrY: you guys just cant stop talkin about me can yah?
lovemesurfer004: im not pissed off i think its really funny what a dumb ass you are to make fun of people you dont know
TasteZLykECherrY: nope i dont kno her
TasteZLykECherrY: i dont wanna kno her
TasteZLykECherrY: i dont give a shit about her or her dead brother
TasteZLykECherrY: for all i care they can both kill themselves... oh wait! one already did;-);-)
lovemesurfer004: GET THIS RIGHT - WE DONT TALK ABOUT YOU! WE TALK ABOUT THE PEOPLE YOU TALK ABOUT.
lovemesurfer004: lauren just fuck you you need to rot in hell
lovemesurfer004: and i hope rikkis there to watch you
TasteZLykECherrY: with her dead brother!!!!!!!!!!
TasteZLykECherrY: lol!!!!!!!!
lovemesurfer004: hah oh wait hes not going to hell
TasteZLykECherrY: he killed himself
lovemesurfer004: and
TasteZLykECherrY: and you call yourself a christian
lovemesurfer004: youve tried
TasteZLykECherrY: tisk tisk
TasteZLykECherrY: yes ma'am i have
lovemesurfer004: i am a christian im not the one who killed myself
TasteZLykECherrY: im livin im breathin
lovemesurfer004: but yo utried
lovemesurfer004: so youre the same
TasteZLykECherrY: im here to make anyone who doesnt like me .... uhhh... lol i dont kno
lovemesurfer004: but hes better because he wasnt a whore!
TasteZLykECherrY: nope i go to church im forgiven:-):-)
TasteZLykECherrY: lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well i am
TasteZLykECherrY: get over it
lovemesurfer004: god doesnt forgive you for all your sins
lovemesurfer004: rikki went to church too!
TasteZLykECherrY: lol cool
TasteZLykECherrY: hes also dead
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
lovemesurfer004: and
TasteZLykECherrY: kno what?
TasteZLykECherrY: this is between me and this rikki guy
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
lovemesurfer004: what lauren
lovemesurfer004: no its not
TasteZLykECherrY: it isnt?
lovemesurfer004: when you talk aboutmy friend its between me to
TasteZLykECherrY: oooooohlol since when did u get involced
TasteZLykECherrY: lol hes dead
lovemesurfer004: since jessica is my friend
TasteZLykECherrY: i will gladly talk abotu someone i dont kno:-):-)
lovemesurfer004: and i like my friends and i AM NICE TO THEM
lovemesurfer004: then you are stupid
lovemesurfer004: and boring
TasteZLykECherrY: i am stupid
lovemesurfer004: mhmm
TasteZLykECherrY: and im boring... cept in bed
lovemesurfer004: and your point
lovemesurfer004: wow so your just not good at all
lovemesurfer004: i hope youre good
TasteZLykECherrY: lol!
TasteZLykECherrY: i dunno
TasteZLykECherrY: ask all of fort myers lol im such a whore remember
lovemesurfer004: dunno what everything
TasteZLykECherrY: so obviously alot of people have done it with me!
lovemesurfer004: you sure are
TasteZLykECherrY: ask um if im good then
TasteZLykECherrY: say hey!
lovemesurfer004: i guess so
TasteZLykECherrY: did yah fuck lauren smith?!
lovemesurfer004: where is this coming from ?
TasteZLykECherrY: lol i dont kno
TasteZLykECherrY: the top of my head
TasteZLykECherrY: whatever letter hit the keyboard first
TasteZLykECherrY: ooooo i love the way you love me!!!!!11
lovemesurfer004: oh thats cool.....rot in hell
TasteZLykECherrY: thats ina country song!
lovemesurfer004: umm wrong im must be..........
TasteZLykECherrY: so is.. that red dirt road...
lovemesurfer004: te lo odio bitch
lovemesurfer004: what
TasteZLykECherrY: you too:-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-)
TasteZLykECherrY: wait
TasteZLykECherrY: quiero tu!
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
TasteZLykECherrY: i changed my mind
lovemesurfer004: oh then come and get me bitch
TasteZLykECherrY: i love you i hate you i just can get around you
TasteZLykECherrY: nahh thats alrighty
lovemesurfer004: cant get around me?
lovemesurfer004: are you saying im fat?
TasteZLykECherrY: yes! lol
TasteZLykECherrY: huge
TasteZLykECherrY: disgustingly huge
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
lovemesurfer004: yep im totally enormous
lovemesurfer004: speel that one
TasteZLykECherrY: yup me 2
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
TasteZLykECherrY: ima cow!
TasteZLykECherrY: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
lovemesurfer004: oh and i dont have 30 pounds form a baby either sosry im not you~!
TasteZLykECherrY: lol!!!!!!!!!!
lovemesurfer004: hay i got a new screenname - abortionqueen!
TasteZLykECherrY: i hada baby?!
TasteZLykECherrY: cool!
TasteZLykECherrY: lol yup im the queen of abortions too
lovemesurfer004: thats what the screen name means
TasteZLykECherrY: lol really?! i never woulda guessed
lovemesurfer004: well you obviously didnt understand
TasteZLykECherrY: woooo i hada baby!
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
lovemesurfer004: woo i am having too much fun with your dumnb ass i never though people are this stupid guess i foundo ne
TasteZLykECherrY: whats its name!!!!!!!!!1
TasteZLykECherrY: boy or girl!
?
lovemesurfer004: oh getting your big bad asss boyfriend oooo
lovemesurfer004: goodbye
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
TasteZLykECherrY: no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dont leave me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im scared of the dark!!!!!!!!!1
TasteZLykECherrY: TasteZLykECherrY: this convo is hilarious!
GEXPOSFAN13: that kelsey griner?
TasteZLykECherrY: yeah!
TasteZLykECherrY: lol
GEXPOSFAN13: im iming her
TasteZLykECherrY: lol@
TasteZLykECherrY: kung foo fightin!
TasteZLykECherrY: lol~
TasteZLykECherrY: thats what yer icon reminds me of
lovemesurfer004: ?
lovemesurfer004: you
lovemesurfer004: oh wait your not hot
TasteZLykECherrY: kung foo fightin?
TasteZLykECherrY: no im not
lovemesurfer004: oh wow your intelligent
TasteZLykECherrY: IM ON FIRE!
TasteZLykECherrY: IMA FUCKING ROCKET SCIENTIST!
TasteZLykECherrY: lalalfallalalalalalalal
TasteZLykECherrY: fa la la la la lala la la
TasteZLykECherrY: deck the halls with bells of holly!
TasteZLykECherrY: tis the season to be jolly
TasteZLykECherrY: fa la la la la la la la la
TasteZLykECherrY: follow me in merry measure
TasteZLykECherrY: fa la la la la la la la la la
lovemesurfer004: wow you are so lame
TasteZLykECherrY: troll the ancicent yoll tide treasure
TasteZLykECherrY: fa la la la la lala la LA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Previous message was not received by lovemesurfer004 because of error: User lovemesurfer004 is not available.


See how pathetic people can be? yes i kno i was not mature in that but damn! people need to learn to mind their own FUCKINGBUSINESS! haha i guess its a good thign that this is passworded or people would bring this to school 2 months from now! lol... for the record, i never said anything about jessicas brother committing suicide. she did because of the the suciide thing in my profile, she wanted me to change it because HER brother committed suicide. well sorry hunnie, but the thing in my proifle is telling people not to... and to think about the consequences... yeah i kno im a hypocrit, but i want others who maybe arent to read what i wrote in it..
well i think im done rambling on, i need to find something to do today! im bored as hell... onf riday me and courtni are prolly gunna do stuff because her bday is on thursday! who knows we oculd get trashed! lol.. that would be so much fun1 i really need a day to just get out and have a shitload of fun and not care what happens!

thank you guys so much for the comments yestryday. they really meant alot to me... you really have no idea. its a nice feeling when you know you have people that care for you! its actually, the best feeling in the world!
I love you guys
Always
Lauren

When Happiness Is Based On Lies, It's So Hard To Tell The Truth...

3 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


desiredrelease

:: 2004 13 June :: 2.03pm

well
what have i come to face




and your request has been fulfilled
a nice an excellent life i will lead


playachika

:: 2004 13 June :: 11.16am
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: behind blue eyes

Well, i couldnt sleep well last night, despite the medicine im on. the song playing is making me cry. Billy told me what song to play and i had to look for an icon to math the scheme. i dont thi nk im going to get rid of the icon for a while because i dont give a damn about my reputation anymore. I mean alex just told another person we had sex, and told them about greg too! why cant he just keep his mouth shut? do i have to be the virgin everyone wants me to be? do i have to be little miss innocent all the time? do i have to hide myself from people just to fit their expectations? it makes no sense to me. i hate hearing of he past..





5 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


playachika

:: 2004 12 June :: 6.26am
:: Mood: SICK
:: Music: IM SO SICK!

IM SO FREAKIN SICK!!! AHHH I HAVE NO VOICE!!!

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
and sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

1 *To pieces!* | *Do You love me?*


desiredrelease

:: 2004 10 June :: 4.15pm
:: Mood: restless
:: Music: bon jovi, bed of roses

sitting here wasted and wounded at this old piano trying hard to capture the moment because a bottle of vodka is still lodged in my head as i dream about movies they wont make of me when im dead..
i have no motivation to do the assigned summer reading and failure to turn in this assignment results in schedual change and automatic placement into a pre ib world history class or study hall

perhaps reading this entry over and again will influence me to attempt it



.. doubt i will be enrolled in ap european history next year, unless, that is, i am motivated



and if i do not do this
average is what i would be considered




tonight i wont be alone but you know that doesnt mean im not lonely



playachika

:: 2004 10 June :: 10.45am
:: Mood: energetic
:: Music: repsepct

Heyheyhey!
well im in a lot better mood! im going to the mall!! woo hooo! thenpeople from church are comin over for some bible study. im watching maury and it has these lil 10 year olds who could outsing prolly half the people on american idol! damn this one girl is WAy good!
MY HAIR IS SOOO STRAIGHT!
i dont understand why people bother to straighten their hair! they can just take mine! i mean... i hate it! its sooo straight! i mean sometimes i like it but most of the time i hate it! ahhh its sooo dumb! i want kinda curly hair! i wish i was one of those preppy cheerleaders that could look good in anything! FAT CHANCE! haha oh well!
Aim Remix is such a cool device. lol... i lik eit. it does some magical stuff! wow look how immature poeple are..
SexiLilBoriqua66: hey
TasteZLykECherrY: hello, who might you be.
SexiLilBoriqua66: jessica wright
SexiLilBoriqua66: do u remember me i was on ur softball team
TasteZLykECherrY: ummm.. nope
TasteZLykECherrY: doesn't ring a bell.
SexiLilBoriqua66: um well i was on ur softball team
TasteZLykECherrY: sorry:-\
SexiLilBoriqua66: i was on the royals with u
TasteZLykECherrY: oh thats fun
SexiLilBoriqua66: um yeah sure it is
SexiLilBoriqua66: but um do u know lindsey petrizzo
TasteZLykECherrY: nope
SexiLilBoriqua66: its carlos's g/f
TasteZLykECherrY: oh, i still dont kno her
TasteZLykECherrY: all i know is OF her
SexiLilBoriqua66: well what do u know of her
TasteZLykECherrY: carlos is going out with her! lol
SexiLilBoriqua66: oh i see
SexiLilBoriqua66: do u like er
SexiLilBoriqua66: her**
TasteZLykECherrY: i dont know her
SexiLilBoriqua66: oh i see
SexiLilBoriqua66: well do u like carlos still ???
TasteZLykECherrY: as a friend.
TasteZLykECherrY: sorta
SexiLilBoriqua66: why the hell do u still call him ???

TasteZLykECherrY: lol cause im his friend.
SexiLilBoriqua66: what does sorta mean then
TasteZLykECherrY: im mad at him at the moment.
TasteZLykECherrY: i will call him whether you like it or not.
TasteZLykECherrY: im done now.
SexiLilBoriqua66: why the fuck would i care but lindsey doesn;t want u calling him
SexiLilBoriqua66: and u have no reason to call him because he doens;t even like ur stank ass
SexiLilBoriqua66: and if u are trying to fuck shit up u can;t
SexiLilBoriqua66: and which one of those on ur icon are u ......the slut
SexiLilBoriqua66: obviously u aint got shit to say
SexiLilBoriqua66: why the fuck wont u talk
SexiLilBoriqua66: u gonna go and get one of ur guy friends to try and scare me
SexiLilBoriqua66: fuck u then

lol people get SO when you ignore them! i love it! kk well im done for now
i love you michael!
Oh brad- i still cant believe u let yer cousin talk to me! chris griffin is his name?! lol that sounds like something scott curry would do! lol
~Lauren

5 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


playachika

:: 2004 9 June :: 11.37am
:: Mood: relaxed
:: Music: ricky lake music

Hi!
wow am i tired. and im losing my voice so yeah i guess michaels gunna get sick. im watching ricky lake! its about gay marriages! i think they should be bale to married and do what they want because its not my ass getting hurt, its theirs. and i dont exactly believe in lesbians because all they do is put on a strap on and use it jut like a dick. i dont get it. i mean sure, all girls are gunna kiss another girl one time in their life. i just dont get it.
alot of people are begging me for the movies again. i think because daniel craig was over with dj and chas n them and yeah they were talking abotu it. well i think im off.
my mom hatesme writing. ill write later because yeah... i dont wanna get in trouble. i have to tell you about how big ofa fight me and her got into last night over a $13 swimsuit. my family is so fucking cheap!
~Laur

2 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


desiredrelease

:: 2004 8 June :: 7.53pm
:: Mood: rushed
:: Music: fall out boy, tell that mick he just made my list of things to do today

breaking hearts never looked so cool, stop burning bridges and drive off of them so i can forget about you bury me in memory, his smile is your rope so wrap it tight around your throat..
will be spending all tomorrow in the airport
parents are leaving for europe and being an international flight, it is suggested that they be at the gate three hours prior to departure

this is the first time that i wont be accompanying them

the day was spent packing their luggage and attempting to relax before the lengthy flights, almost an entire day of flying, despite the time zones which would make the time spent in the compact seats adjusting yourself every few minutes to gain the impossible comfort will seem longer

done.


playachika

:: 2004 7 June :: 11.50am
:: Mood: peaceful
:: Music: rest inpieces

Hi!
WEll things seemed to be a lil more settled with me n michael, i spoke with him for a few hours last night, most of it was crying... most for no reason at all.
i found my folder of poems that i used to write when i was depressed or soemthing, i think im gong to start that up again. i need an outlet besides my friends.
Libbiny comes down in 16, yes 16 DAYs! im so excited. we;ll havea lota fun, like making hamtaros n naming flys george! lol...
i dunno whatd i do without the girl! BESTFRIENDS SINCE KINDERGARDEN!!! not many people retain frienships as long as we have, especially when you live 1300 miles from eachother. well anyway, i had to update today to inform you about those things. people are still asking me for hte password. i mean cant u figure out i dont want you reading it if i i didnt post the password all over the internet. i just hope you guys, the ones who are reading this ritght now dont give it out. im not saign you will but who knows, it could slip your mind and BAM! it gets let out and the world is reading my journal ocne again....
oh yeah before i go i wanna tell you about a conversation i had with someonelast night,
he was sad so i told him that the whole freshman, now sophmore class hates me. and he said"hah no they dont" and i said yeah, after i made jenna cry. and he said, "they're just jackasses who don't know you." and then i forget the other part then someohow i asked him "you believed the rumors at first didnt you?" and he said, "well yeah but ive had rumors about me before, and i thought about it"
i guess it means others are starting to think about the things that are spread around aboutme... i mean come on a 4 hours video of me masterbating?.... thats bullshit! id even get bored! lol
~Laur
i love michael!

1 *To pieces!* | *Do You love me?*


playachika

:: 2004 6 June :: 8.37am
:: Mood: irritated

me and michael have been fightin alot lately... im scared somethings wrong...

*Do You love me?*


playachika

:: 2004 6 June :: 2.02am
:: Mood: loved
:: Music: troubled water

Heyheyhey!
i cant wait until july 23!!! its going ot be a blast! i had a meeting today with church about it... and omg me and amanda are gunna get into soo0o0o 0much trouble! i mean 36000 people and were aloud to be out until 130 everyday! ahhh itll be fun! Hmm.... im sooooo excited. i need summore god in my life. today in bible school, like in the morning, we talked about the evils andstuff in life and why some peopel blame god for there wrong doings.. and how bad the world is nowadays and how terrible things can be, but whenever u think about the bad, thik about god. he wants you to learn yourself, not from anyone else... i dont kno i just, liked the lesson today. oh yeah guess what!
I GET TO TEACH THE LITTLE PEOPLE HOW TO SING AND DANCE ALL BY MYSELF! for VBS! omg its going to be fun! me and amanda ((my sister)) ppretty much did it alone last yr, but this year, its totally up to us! no help from any adults! SCorE! The theme is Lava kidna stuff because Gods love Flows... haha get it?! well yeah i got the CD from joe today so i can learn the words to the songs, then i learn the dance moves to it too! haha more pictures of me to be put around the church! yay!!
on friday, everybody is going to orlando but i dont think im going... ohw ell i guess, i wanna go tho! Hmmm what else is going on thats involved with church?
oh yes! wait.. i just forgot! lol!
well, i love michael! and im gunna go!
Always
~Laur

*Do You love me?*


playachika

:: 2004 5 June :: 9.44am
:: Mood: peaceful
:: Music: spongebob

Well well well!
long time no update! i have heard sooo soo many peopel are pissed off that this journal is password protected and hardly any one can get in! and now i kno all the annonymous comments are from my friends! its so grand! i just hope no one gives out the password!
i spent the past few days in orlando. it was quite an interesting place. all i did was sleep tho.. i guess you could say i was...sick? ahh, i dont kno but thats the story im going to stick with... i got a necklase from my mom.. it says Lauren and it hasa mickey mouse charm dangling offa it!
oh yes i wanna tell of the events that took place here over those unfortunate days i was gone.
Sabrina continues to ask michael about the reason he is going out with me since, let me quote, "everyone likes you but no one likes her."
Michaels and my relationship is the MOST talked about relationship out of ANYONE!... and wanna kno what else i realized?
I AM THE MOST POPULAR GIRL AT FT MYERS! maybe not ina good way, but i am the person everybody WANTS to talk about, the person everyone DOES talk about and makes it a part of their every thought about how much ofa slut i am. Michael helped me to realize this! but hey, its true. I am the center of most all the girls at fort myersg risl


my mommas up ill write later
Laur

5 *To pieces!*... | *Do You love me?*


desiredrelease

:: 2004 2 June :: 2.07pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: death cab for a cutie, that is incentive

you see nothing to be adored when obsession takes its toll with paper cuts from turning pages and i live this life just to bear these scars will the hurt subside if you decide..
on a less cluttered note,

doubt i will be continuing on with this account

nothing to write of
nothing to read of

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