:: 2005 28 May :: 1.03 am

{old me talking}
I feel so lost.
Is this who I am?
Is this what I have become?

{new me}
As much as I hate being away from everyone I once cared about I think it will turn out alright. I miss everyone. You know who you are.

I have been hanging out with my new friends in K College a lot (and for Alicia's knowledge they live on first Trow). I feel myself growing to be the person I should be. I'm finally living my potential.

I don't feel like a worthless piece of crap anymore. A series of unfortunate events had beaten me down, the process had begun long before I even entered College. Stacey was incredibly bad for my self esteem, That is where it all started I guess. She had me beaten down. I was at my lowest when we were together. Shortly after Stacey there was Mel. She was afraid of me, I realize, and her fear only drove me deeper into my need to satisfy. Michelle was...
I guess this isn't the place (I mean even though I don't appear in her "friends journal" anymore doesn't mean she'll never see this). Michelle deserves to be happy.

Anyway, now I am free again. I am trying so badly not to make the same mistakes I have made for the past 5 years. It's a hard line to draw, it appears. trying to protect oneself while not being an ass. I try really really hard to not be an ass, but in the past that only brought me pain.

Anyway on the brighter side, there are movies, girls, beaches, concerts, roadtrips, and all nighters in my near future. I need to sleep now because I don't know when the next chance I'll get is.

Tell Me What You Think

:: 2005 14 May :: 11.01 am

Ok... last night was fun, but not as fun as it could have been.

The life I am living know is not the life I imagined for myself just a few months ago. I am not saying that it is better it is just really really different. I have a whole circle of friends before that I didn't even know existed just a few weeks ago. I'm doing things now that I had once forgot to do. And in remembering, it has awoken in me something long lost.

My life is changing rapidly so I'm waiting to get to a stable point so I can catch you guys back up. Just know that I am trying hard now to be a different person. One who doesn't make the same mistake twice. I am complicated and inebriated while still being vindicated.

But above all, I am happy.

Tell Me What You Think

:: 2005 14 May :: 3.45 am

I found myself tonight.

To bad it took 3 pitchers.

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:: 2005 8 May :: 7.05 pm

There has been a TON of craziness in my life over the past 3 days. However having a 56k at home make me dread going on line so I haven't had a chance to get you guys caught up. I promise I will someday... but today I have plans... I need to take a quick shower... I promise I haven't forgoten about you all.

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:: 2005 30 April :: 5.10 pm
:: Music: Dashboard

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:: 2005 22 April :: 5.49 pm

Me: I kinda want to rent the Office... you know the BBC version.
Michelle: I don't, it doesn't have Steve [Carelle] in it.
Me: So, you're on a first name basis now?
Michelle: Yeah, I am.... sometimes I call him pookie.

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:: 2005 19 April :: 12.46 pm

Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger of Germany becomes the 265th pope of the Roman Catholic Church.

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:: 2005 19 April :: 11.35 am

Ok so anyway I was at Michelle's house last night and a damn bird got stuck in her printer... It was the weirdest thing.

Anyway I am thinking of getting my self on a congratilatory present after completeing my final Final. (Also getting my senior audit).

Which do you guys perfer...
Shirt #1

Shirt #2
or
Shirt #3

I'm leaning toward #1. I've always been a Schrodinger fan.

[Update 12:08]
I got a new T selection... this one has colour options.
Shirt #4 color options or white

coinsidentally if I get the white, I would save some money to get these bumper stickers.
Sticker 1
Sticker 2

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:: 2005 10 April :: 10.32 am

I can't believe I'm the first to make an entry!
Last night was HILERIOUS! Couldn't have gone better!

Memerable quotes of the night...

"Oh no you didn't.... AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
"what was that? Oh My God, RUN!"
"Why wont you show your faces? What are you UGLY? You probably are UGLY"
"w00t, Headshot"
"Why is it so damn hard to set off these car alarms?"

But like any good night it went a little too far...
In the words of the great one..

Ron Burgundy: Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast!
Champ Kind: It jumped up a notch!
Ron Burgundy: It did, didn't it?

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:: 2005 9 April :: 2.24 pm
:: Music: Wagner - O Fortuna

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:: 2005 5 April :: 7.37 am

Is this a test?
I have realized how much I have changed since the dorms.
It is strange, I go on living.

That which we persist in doing becomes easier - not that the nature of the task has changed, but our ability to do has increased.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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:: 2005 1 April :: 4.29 pm

Good night, Karol Wojtyla. You have served this world well.

You will be missed.

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:: 2005 1 April :: 4.14 pm

This was a reply to a previous post but as I lost control and ranted I wanted to put it in a readable place
[This is in regard to the incident with Pat Buchanon]

I just can't understand why this really happened? Why do people hate him so? Why do people call him "the devil"? Is it because he wants to make the country more secure? Is it because he is for reforming our non-existant immagration policy? Why is HE hated?

Michael Moore travels to collage campuses, and no one cares. This is a man who has said more negitive things about america then I care to recount. Yet everyplace he goes he gets a freaking Standing O.

Ward Churchill guest speaks at Universities all the time. He says that 9/11 was a result of the evil America exerts on the world. That the buisness men killed on that day deserved it. In fact he goes as far to say that the people that died were just "little Eichmanns (Nazis)". And after it all they just stand and clap.

But not Pat Buchanon... oh no... he's too controversial....

Why that some who speak are champions of the first ammendment while others are "the devil" and are assaulted?

This reaks of hypocracy folks. Get some thick skin and hear both sides without being such little bitches.

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:: 2005 1 April :: 11.00 am

Former Presidental Canidate assaulted at WMU
The video

To think I almost went there... If only all my friends weren't busy.

And the Libs wonder why we can't have an informed debate.

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:: 2005 1 April :: 9.42 am

UK bookies place odds on Bond
Here are the odds and how I think of the actor as Bond

* Ewan McGregor - 9-4 [It'd be cool, but bond is a womenizer, a mans man, and I haven't seen Ewan in a role that would make me belive him. He's a lover, not a secret agent sex machine. I could be wrong. I'll make him my third favorite prospect]

* Dougray Scott - 9-2 [I'm not a big fan, from what I've seen of him he looks like a heel, for those of you not in the know that means villian. However, the fact that he is not known is a plus.. Bond's typically are picked from obscurity into greatness]

* Jude Law - 8-1 [I don't see it. He's a wormy guy. Not bond material. Maybe my opinion will change after SkyCaptin, but I doubt it.]

* Clive Owen - 6-1 [Hell yeah! He's my favorite on this list. Watch The Hire", and you'll think you ARE watching Bond already.]

* Hugh Jackman - 7-1 [I don't know... He's typically plays angry characters. Not cool like Bond]

* Colin Farrell - 7-1 [Not as bad as I wish. My only complaint is he's not as perfect an actor as a bond should be. Plus he isn't suave often]

* Eric Bana - 9-1 [Too cold, Bond is suave, not menacing]

* Orlando Bloom - 10-1 [To young, isn't he on the cover of Teen Magizine this month. Maybe in 10 years he'd be perfect, but not now]

* Chris Feeney - 10-1 [Who? IMDB doesn't even have this guy. It's probably a typo. They probably meant Jason Statham (who would be my fifth pick)]

* Rupert Everett - 20-1 [Possibly my number 2 pick. Suave, but I don't see enough strength behind it.]

* Hugh Grant - 20-1 [Same as above but worse. I couldn't even picture him owning a gun, let alone shooting it at a Commie.]

* Russell Crow - 25-1 [To big, a P90 would look like a toy if he held it. You might as well hire the Ape from Mighty Joe Young, plus he is way too big an American Star]

* Robbie Williams - 100-1 [where exactly has he been? Oh yeah.. fucking Christina Augillera. Decent pick though. I give him my fourth pick]

* Eminem - 100-1 [This is a joke right. I mean he could be a secret agent someday maybe, but not British, and deffinatly not Bond]

To recap my top 5

1) Clive Owen
2) Rupert Everett
3) Ewan McGregor
4) Robbie Williams
5) Jason Statham

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