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aerii

:: 2009 11 April :: 4.28pm

Fuck you.

I'm so close to being done with it.

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aerii

:: 2009 9 April :: 10.18pm

I could make you satisfied in everything you do
All your secret wishes could right now be coming true
And be forever with my poison arms around you
No one's gonna fool around with us

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aerii

:: 2009 5 April :: 2.24am

I want new hair.

blahhh, i'm tired of what I got going on up there.

any idears?

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aerii

:: 2009 18 March :: 4.20pm

Shit's crazy exciting.

[edit 10:18pm]

I hate studying.
I want to go on a road trip.
And I screwed up my schedule...again.

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aerii

:: 2009 18 March :: 12.17am

Oh Sabrina...

What cheeky antics.

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aerii

:: 2009 24 February :: 8.48pm

First windows down day.
Good stuff.

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aerii

:: 2009 8 February :: 2.32pm

That's honestly the lamest excuse I've ever heard.

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aerii

:: 2009 7 February :: 10.55pm

holy jesus fucking shit fuck.

LSDJFOWEJRLSKDJFOSDIjflskdfjoSDF
LJSOdifjoaskdfjlasdkfjlsdkfjsoafiejaslkdf

I think I pee'd a little...

Oh my god, today might be the best day of my life.

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aerii

:: 2009 5 February :: 4.40pm

Uh
I found 20 dolla.

stokage.

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aerii

:: 2009 30 January :: 6.48am

This weekend should prove be interesting.
One for the history books, so to speak..


Ahaha.
I wote a bitchin' paper on "Hills like White Elephants" by Earnest Hemmingway.
You should read that story btw.
It is also pretty bitching.

I've got to get back to outlining a shitty rough draft for my psych class :S

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aerii

:: 2009 29 January :: 5.35pm

"These days, living alone in Spokane, I wish I lived closer to the river, to the falls where ghosts of salmon jump. I wish I could sleep. I put down my paper or book and turn off all the lights, lie quietly in the dark. It make take hours, even years, for me to sleep again. There's nothing surprising or disappointing in that.

I know how all my dreams end anyway."

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shroudofrain

:: 2009 25 January :: 1.00pm
:: Mood: enthralled
:: Music: My Savior My God: Aaron Shust / Go (I wana send you): Newsboys

[Church name under construction]
Part of the fruit of the spirit is to have patients. It's to wait and not only see what God is going to do, but it's to wait and see what's in your heart for the works of God himself.
Patients, this part of the spirit is something I've always had since I can remember... except now.
It's hard to wait for something that you are not only wanting to do with all your heart, but to do something that you feel God is calling you to do to spread his love to the nations.
I know I need to be patient, and I will, but it's just so hard when I have this vision of what must be accomplished not only for God, but for community's sake... wherever that may be.

The Vision/Rant:
I want to make a church that cannot be contained in a building, within a physical infrastructure or on a physical location.
I want to make a church that breaks down, to the core, what church should be: A community of people that meet together to fellowship with each other, learn, and grow spiritually and physically under the banner and love of Christ Jesus.
What church has become today is a place built on worship of a God that is hard to understand, lives to condemn, and wants you to be perfect to receive his attention, approval, and love.
This is sick. This is not what Jesus intended at all; this was not our example, in the book of Acts, of how a church should function, grow, and affect the community.
I want to create a community that does nothing but grow, expand, and deepen the love of God to anyone that chooses to accept it... who may or may not accept Christ himself, his love then.
We serve a God that we already have approval from, whom we already have love from, and whom we already have attention from. So why do we, as followers of Christ, act like we don't? Why do we perpetuate the idea that we need to ask for it?
Why do we ask to bless food when it's already blessed by God, because it came from the Earth, and the Earth was created by God himself?
Why do we treat God like he didn't commit suicide to save us from sins punishable by death... which is any sin really.
You break one commandment and you break them all, so in all seriousness we are all murderers, we are all rapists, we are all honoring other Gods... but we are forgiven from all of this... so why does the church insist in proclaiming that not only we are not, but also that we must be perfect to achieve reward from God in Heaven?
Why are we following the phrases when Jesus himself called them "Sons of Hell?"
Church must be evangelistic, to it's inner structure; it should be a place where people can not only come HOW they are... but WHERE they are in life/in their walk with God/in their life with themselves and others.
Church must be a servant of the community in ANY way that it can be, and it should not just be one church organization over another, but in conjunction with other church groups. The church down the street and the church out in the middle of nowhere and the church downtown should work together for the good of the community, despite their differences of what color the carpet in the sanctuary should be or if you should drink alcohol or nix all forms of alcohol from any type of consumption in your life completely.
That is ridiculousness... and pretty much sad.
Not only that, but it also causes others that don't believe in Christ to see the ridiculousness and have the ability to ask, "Do I really want to be apart of that?"
I wouldn't!
It turns people away from what is most important, and it's important because it gives hope for your life and it gives you the ability to say, "I don't have everything together, but it doesn't matter, because I have hope, love, and assurance in my life."
How many people can say that now, today, with how things are going in the world? How many people can say that they don't need things in their life to make them happy, because they have joy, and that's all they need?
How many people can look at their life and say, "I don't need anything else."
People may paint with a broad brush what Church is... and to an extent, they are right.
However, I feel it is partly my obligation as a follower of Christ to take that brush and attempt to brake it... or at least have it find a place that it can't paint.
My vision... or I should say God's vision for my life and my future is to bring life back to any given community. To plant not a church, but love into a community and let the roots take hold of the area and not let go.
This vision is more than what I can explain with words.
It's taking all I get in offering and tithe and splitting it down the middle: Half of what I take in, I give out to the community, and the reason for this comes from the greatest commandment that Jesus told us: "Love your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself."
"...love your neighbor as yourself." If we loved our neighbors as ourselves, wouldn't we feed them just as much we do us? Would we cloth them just as much as we do our own bodies? Wouldn't we spend just as much money on them as we would on ourselves? What would that look like? What kind of effect would that have on any given community if people, or a church had that mentality?
This vision of what I am describing is more than anything I can explain... it has to be shown, because it's going to be a movement that will take hold of anyone that notices and wonders about it.
This is not my vision just as well as the moon is yours, or anyone's. This vision is owned, breathed, fixated, and motivated by, from, on, and through Jesus Christ, the son of God the Father, and giver of the Holy Spirit, who died on the cross to our sin, and rose again for our salvation.
Now don't get me wrong: I do not claim to know exactly what God wants, and I know it sounds like I'm painting church myself with a broad brush, but I assure you I am not. I am apart of a church that is doing just his right now as I write this, called Real Life Church in Spring Lake, North Carolina, and I am fully aware that there are other churches that are doing this as well... and then some. However, I am speaking for and to those who have this preconceived notion of what church is, and the churches that have proved these notions with judgmental colors.
People see church this way, and it's for a reason, and I'm looking to paint a different picture of church starting years from now.
My generation/Our generation is the one that is more spiritual than their parents in over 150 years in America alone. What we are spiritual about is another story, but constantly I see teenagers of my generation and younger going to church not because their parents go or make them... but because they want to. Because they are searching, and because they want more and know there has to be more out there.
Times are changing, people are growing, ideas are blossoming, and we need to act accordingly.
There are people that need help, there are people that need much, there is a looming fear of everything crashing down again in terms of society, and there's this ideal that is spreading around. The ideal that there is more than just what we see, the ideal that love is more of an act than a feeling. The ideal... that community may be all of what some have to any extent of the imagination.
What will you do in this day and age? Will you paint a broad brush over all you see and give in to giving up hope in church... if there was any? Or will you take up a different brush, a brush that is easy, and it's paint is kind. A brush that will bring burden, but a brush and paint that will ensure you assurance through the rough surfaces of the canvas?
May you love your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength... and may you love your neighbor as you love yourself.

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aerii

:: 2009 24 January :: 11.12am

I'm not worried.








It feels good.

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aerii

:: 2009 21 January :: 3.06pm

I don't get it.
Would you please explain yourself?

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aerii

:: 2009 12 January :: 2.43pm

i want to do arts and crafts.

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aerii

:: 2008 12 December :: 11.09pm

Seattle in 12 days.

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aerii

:: 2008 5 November :: 9.03am

some of myspace's reaction to our president
"Crystal Anne thinks she's gonna be sick. How did HE win... America is screwed"

"Well... for those of you who don't pray, now would be the time to start
Welcome to (Osama) O'Bama's America. This country... is screwed..."

"black president? really?? this guys gonna get JFK'd for sure hahah
for fuck sake his middle name is OSAMA!!! didnt that guy bomb us?"



Seriously?
I cannot believe that some people can think like this.
Even if you don't like Obama, at least know what the fuck you're talking about when you try to make a point against him.
It makes me sick to see people this bigoted, and I'm really surprised Obama won in a country where a lot of people still have problems with someone because of the color of their skin or even stupid details like a middle name.

So, I guess if you really think "America is screwed", then why don't you get out or do something about it instead of sitting on your punk ass, complaining about it on myspace.

We should believe in our leaders, not matter what. Even if we didn't vote for them, even if we don't agree with everything they say, even if we don't like the color of their skin or their sexual preference. Leaders are here for a reason and without them I'm pretty sure you'd be far worse off right now. This man is leading your country, have a little faith.

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shroudofrain

:: 2008 4 November :: 11.01am
:: Mood: confused

Some stuff going on:
Ok, so, I've been having conflicted ideas about my future, but I will give an update before I go into what's going on with me personally right now.

Update:
I'm no longer on my way to Liberty University. I just don't think that's where God is leading me and so therefore I am headed to Campbell University... but not immediately.
Right now I'm a student at FTCC (Fayetteville Technical Community College), and I'm doing alright I guess.
I've been the Youth Worship Band leader at Real Life Church for a while now, and I'm loving every minute of it.
Again, I'm very involved with my church and I'm doing alright at school and such.

What's going on with me now:
Alright, now down to the whole point of this post.
I've been in deep with my church and such. However, I'm very deep and near the end with this semester in school... and it seems the closer I get to the end of the semester, the more and more school seems to get in the way of all that I want to involve myself with in church.
Now, I want to tell all of you straight up: I may take a year or so off of school it self (I'm not going to stop going to school... but I think I may need a break from that), and I have heard a lot about the peace corps and how the people involved can get college credit for the work that is done... so I may be looking into involving myself in that and then going back to school after serving some time there.
I am just having to go through a lot of stuff in my life right now kind of finding myself (for lack of a better term), getting over some past experiences... kind of digging up everything and healing from all of it (which may mean me going to another counselor or something), and all that good stuff.

I have a lot of decisions that need to be made within me, and I have a lot to go other emotionally so that I can become as a clean slate for God so that he can make me how he wants me to be/how I should be in his sight.

Just pray for me... that's really all that anyone can do for me at this time.

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aerii

:: 2008 3 September :: 8.50pm

I always hate the end of summer, but I guess it's different this time because I have no where I need to be.
I feel like I wasted my summer, but I know that isn't true. I just can't help but feeling like things could be a million times better I could be doing something right now instead of watching the National Geographic channel and updating stuff on the internet.

I hate thinking like this. Things are the way they are and that's it.
I hate thinking about how things could be different and how much I want things to be the way they were.



ahahsldkfjsldkfj
I need to not think about this anymore.

sdlfkj

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aerii

:: 2008 30 June :: 1.04pm

Last night sucked so hardcore.
I think that's the last time I hang out with Quin and Morgan together.

I don't know what's wrong with me lately, but i'm kind of getting sick of it.
Maybe I just want someone to show me that they care. That sound's pretty lame but I'm not feeling it.

There were seven cop cars in front of my neighbors house when I got home from work yesterday, it was pretty ridiculous. Apparently, some 40 year old dude died and it was "suspicious".

Thursday, hopefully me and Zak Attack will go to Airway Heights and load up on fireworks for the fourth. :D
I'm pretty excited for that.

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aerii

:: 2008 25 June :: 2.28pm

i feel like we're in an ocean... in separate boats... drifting away from each other... except i'm not in a boat, and you're rowing away from me... laughing about it...

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aerii

:: 2008 14 June :: 1.47am

80's dance party?



i think so.

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aerii

:: 2008 9 June :: 7.33pm

people are so nice these days

I'm glad I have the chance to have assholes insult me all the time

:D

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aerii

:: 2008 3 June :: 8.45pm

two hours tomorrow
and i'm done.




it hasn't hit me yet.

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aerii

:: 2008 29 May :: 6.53pm

three and a half days until high school is behind me

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aerii

:: 2008 14 May :: 6.04am

It feels good to conquer what you're battling.

Now all I have left to fight is Jeff Reyburn's College Prep English class.
Haha?

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aerii

:: 2008 5 May :: 6.46am

this was pretty much the worst weekend ever.

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aerii

:: 2008 27 April :: 8.18pm

I just don't want to go.
Is that so hard to understand?

Stop trying to make me do something I don't want to.

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aerii

:: 2008 25 April :: 5.17am

Let's hope I know what I'm doing.

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aerii

:: 2008 23 March :: 2.42pm

I can't even say what I mean.

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