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* .:. S0 MuCH hAs ChaNGeD! .:. *

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:: 2008 27 March :: 9.55 pm
:: Mood: giddy

HeY ThErE!

well.. today was definitely a thursday. [ class. work. gym. supper. homework. sleep. ]

pretty content though, excited for tomorrow. basically 3 classes tomorrow morning until 11am.. then i get to do what everrr my heart pleases for the rest of the day with my love Josh.

josh and i might get together with a couple of guys we met at the gym we go to. real nice people. it'll be good for us to hang out with other people than the norm. throw back a couple of drinks.

we'll see if they call. :)

got paid today. i am the definition of a working poor, college student. got more time than money & bills to pay. happy though that i have enough money to pay my bills with money left over. that's ALWAYS a good thing. mmhm.

well, just thought i'd update.

i dare ya.

:: 2008 26 March :: 1.22 pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: ben folds

i decided after posting my most recent entry to take a look at a couple of my 152 entries from back when i began this journal.

i didn't get past but just a couple down and felt like a complete fucking idiot.

ranting about "old lovers" that were at the time current. over childish matters, one of which sounded like jealously. i considered for a moment deleting them, but decided against it. just because at one time.. i, myself, felt that way.. and that was who i was.. i'm actually sort of embarrassed of myself.

thank god i've grown up & out of that shit.

i dare ya.

:: 2008 26 March :: 12.58 pm
:: Mood: amused

So MuCh hAs ChAnGEd
my last entry was january 23, 2005. it's now march 26 2008. I can't believe I actually found my old journal. i love woohu. i remember when it was still free -- then we had to send in money so the creator could keep the site up and running, it was worth it. this place is not commericalized like facebook, myspace, xanga and the countless blogging & social networking sites are: that's probably what i love best.

where do i start? it been over 3 years. josh & i have been together since january 14, 2005. i could not imagine life any differently. im now in college.. high school is forever beyond over, it was great & all, but was also pathic and felt childish. drama. bullshit. lies. too many classes jam packed into one day. no, thank you.

josh & i have been living together since june, 2007. life on my own with him is an amazing feeling, that sometimes i take for granted. we both probably to do sometimes.

don't get me wrong, though.
i loved living with my parents, but i was so ready to start my own life story. begin my own journey. and that's what i'm doing. the money situation has been tough. i havent had a lot of extra money since i've been on my own.. but that's probably a good thing. so many kids my age spend the weekend blowing their money on alcohol and other worthless stuff.

i'm not sure what else to rant about without getting completely lengthly.

i just can't believe how long it's been since i've seen this journal. wowww.

so much has changed. i've changed. good old woohu hasn't though.

until next time. hopefully not another 3 years :)

i dare ya.

:: 2005 23 January :: 1.35 am

yeppp. rebellious nites. that's for sure.

cerfew & exibition driving tickets. yeeaa.

freakin sucks.

i'm dizy & starving. i'm making cheese ravolis, just waitin for the wata to boil. definitely 137 in the AM.. hunngrrryy ass shiiit. and im actually making something, haha.. i guess im just that hungry enough or thats about my last resort because we have no food in this friggin house.

i dont update everrrr anymore. mainly in my xanga, only to talk about josh. he's kick ass shit.

well i just ate and stuff, so im good now.. so im off to bed.


i dare ya.

:: 2005 17 January :: 9.52 pm

sad... i miss this journal.

my xanga has taken over my life. haha.. really, it has.

so, i can't remember if this has been brought up in here before but kayla & chase introduced me to chases uncle josh, who is 19.. and quite possibly the most kick ass wonderful down to earth guy i know. and now we are together!! haha, this is like 2-3 weeks old news, about meeting him, but the getting together is recent, like 3 days recent. so, since this has always been my first love [ journal ] and where the best of the best thoughts and heart touching, life affecting moments are spoken of i figure i better tell you all know. since i have an imaginary crowd and all .. hahaha.

josh is the greatest.

other than that nothing is really new.

lifes changing and so are the people. i feel like i'm living in my body in 3rd person point of view, just watching everything thats going on around me and stuff.. other than w/ josh & those that are closest to me. but hearing about everybody else is like wow, whats going on with everybody else. shits getting so twisted and its really not cool, people arent who they used to be and life isnt run the same way as always. i hear about things that go on from other people and say nothing but "wow, seriously, geez, i can't believe it"

that and first semester is over, we are offically halfway done with this year and have one half to go, i cannot wait for SUMMER '05. i'll be content with april or may at the lEAST.

okay, that's all for now, i'll try to get back here as much as possible.

much love.

i dare ya.

:: 2005 4 January :: 7.18 pm


In the year 2005 I resolve to:

Have at least one orgasm per hour.

Get your resolution here

In the year 2005 I resolve to:

Stop exercising.

Get your resolution here

In the year 2005 I resolve to:

Swallow more, spit less.

Get your resolution here


In the year 2005 I resolve to:

Wear more lacy black lingerie.

Get your resolution here

i dare ya.

:: 2005 1 January :: 2.47 pm

i sort of neglected my journal for awhile here. i'm sorry.

i just read kaylas entry from thursday nite, and i agree.. people aren't who they used to be & we all do change, to some for the better, to some for the worse. but that's life, you can't expect everything to stay the same the whole way through,but we all know this and are aware and it some situations it's quite disappointing.

i can't say i've changed dramatically, although i've made some really stupid decisions along the way. i've tried to keep myself in line and away from the some trash. but that's what ive made myself aware of, i don't know what other people think in their point of view.

well, i don't feel like getting too indepth here because i could probably go to china with this. and it's really icy out so i hope i do something fun today or this is really going to blow.

if anybody wants to hang out today let me know, we'll walk if we have to.. haha.

i dare ya.

:: 2004 28 December :: 11.33 pm


>> > > . i can't go on not loving you

hello children.
what's going on. whole lotta nothing here actually & it feels quite good. back from my grandparents. got back today around 1. and damn that feels good too. came back 85 dollars richa, baaaby. mm mm. my brother is friggin cool shit. my brother charlie anyway. my other brothers suck ass.

IM HOOKED AND I CANT STOP STARING! hahaha, dude.. okay, i went bowling with jason and braxton and there was this other guy that had the niiiicest ass, omg.. it was beautiful. but then he left :(

christmas was lovely, omg.. funniest story:

my cousins boyfriend sam, totally plastered right, tickled me earlier and later i was walking into the kitchen and i stopped because my family was playing texas hold'em and sam was standing watching, well he grabbed my side.. and i freaked out and turned around to walk away/get away and whatnot and i smacked into the wall.. fucking hilarious.

laughed for a good 10 minutes. and sam was drunk so it was 10x more funnier to him & for me too.. hahah.

hmm.. i dunno what else. i suppose i'll talk about tonite.

sat around and did nothing really all day, watched tv.. called a handful of people but didn't answer, couldn't do anything, had to work, ect. and a few hours after i call jason he calls me back and asked if i wanted to go bowling with him and braxton, so we left & ect, bowled, they did.. i was lazy & i suck waay bad compared to them.. so i watched which i enjoy more than playing.. they played like 4 games and we left and randomly drove & fuckered around, then went to braxtons and jason played football on xbox and then they played halo, and then jason took me home and went home. which leads me here :) > !! <

funniest thing this weekend though, sunday.. justin calls me and asks if i can do anything, then later around 12, jason and a bunch of random people w/ him call me and want me to hang out with them.. still at my grandparents here.. and then monday kylee calls me & says shes by my house and wants to hang out and ect. and i told her we'd do it another day since i wasn't home, ect. and then jason & braxton called and said they were coming to get me >thinking i was home< and i was like okay, at my grandparents 2 and a half hours away, kaaayy. haha it was fun and entertaining and it was a bunch of random people i never talk to, it was weird.

austin talked to me online today, what a fucking bastard, i hope he motherfucking dies. if he EVER READS THIS FUCK YOU AUSTIN YOU DIRTY LITTLE FUCKING HORNY BASTARD, KEEP YOUR DICK IN YOUR PANTS.
our conversation consists of him IMing me saying hey, me saying hey back, him asking whats up, me saying nothing you, him saying bored and horny, me going that's suprising and that was basically the end of our conversation. who the fuck does that, seriously. that's like something guys did in 7th grade. i'm bored and horny. and i'm fucking sorry buddy i'm fucking over your bastard ass [actually that was a long time ago, but i'm just restating it.] and anything that has to do with you. i'm fucking tired of guys like him, i know what he's said, i know what he's after. FUCK YOU. i'm done with that shit, it'll never happen again. i don't care what anybody thinks. i will not do anything with him.

rant of the night.

theres something else i could go into, but i don't want to say it publicly. i told karlie about it. and i'll post it on here, but so nobody can see it and then whoever can ask about it.

okee, going to bed now, gotta hair appt at 8 in the morning tomorrow. yay for highlights. nightynight

i dare ya.

:: 2004 24 December :: 7.59 pm
:: Music: country

wooo eee
christmas is here.

well, here's what i got..

alarm clock/radio/cd player
suede plum down comforter
jewelry box
button up shirt
pink slippers w/ a black kitty on 'em
2 boxes of blank cds
2 packs of socks
happy bunny pjs that say 'i've been naughty, so what?' & happy bunny is wearing a santa hat
2 gift certificates for 2 movies @ century
$ 10 mcdonalds gift certificates
3 pak of orbit gum
big photo album >300 photos
small white plastic box w/ drawers
big white box plastic w/ drawers
shower radio

& more to come this weekend @ my gparents. fo sho. i'm happy w/ what i got. it's basically everything that i had on my xmas list.. and i came up with some pretty good things this year.

so yep, that's that.

happy holidays everybody.

& after i'm back from my grandparents, then i'll really get to enjoy the christmas break w/o the holiday stress, yay.

you all better look forward to that. haha.

i dare ya.

:: 2004 21 December :: 10.50 pm
:: Mood: good
:: Music: tim mcgraw, bayyba

someday i wish you get the chance, to live like you were dyin'

man, i really wish i had time to update.. boo.
3 days until i get to open presents.
damnit. i still have some things left to find for my mom. we went to a few places tonight but none of the friggin places had what i was looking for. i came up with something on my own that my mada might like. i hope.

tomorrow nite when i can stay up until 5 in the morning i'll update like mad, okay. until then.. ta ta!

i dare ya.

:: 2004 19 December :: 7.55 pm

Ins't it wried taht you can sltil raed tihs eevn tohugh the ltetres are mexid up? it's bceuase the hmuan mnid olny fcouses on the frsit and lsat ltetres of the wrod. It's like beauty, people only pay attention to the outside.

and sublime..

I smoke two joints in the morning.
I smoke two joints at night.
I smoke two joints in the afternoon, it makes me feel alright
I smoke two joints in time of peace, and two in time of war
I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints,
and then I smoke two more

x. Slept in your bed: ME!
x. Saw you cry: my mom
x. Made you cry: who knows
x. You spent the night with: karlie jenn and liz
x. You shared a drink with: my mom
x. You went to the movies with: eh, zach
x. You went to the mall with: mi familia
x. Yelled at you: my dad
x. Sent you an email: some random site
x. You kissed: eh, justin

x. Said "i love you" and meant it: Yep.
x. Gotten in a fight with your pet: Hell yeah.
x. Been to New York: i wish
x. Florida: nope
x. California: fo sho
x. Hawaii: nope
x. Mexico: nope
x. China: nope
x. Canada: nope
x. Danced naked: possibly ;)
x. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day? Yes
x. Wish you were the opposite sex: Naah
x. Had an imaginary friend: Yes
x. Fought with your parents: Yes


x. Worst feeling in the world: Hurting the person you love or losing the person you love.
x. What is the first thing you think when you wake up: OR NOT.
x. Future daughter's name: I dunno.
x. Future son's name: I dunno.
x. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: nope
x. What's under your bed: drawers
x. Favorite sport to watch: Baseball
x. Current Age: 15
x. Siblings: nadda
x. Location: SoOoOoMewhere.
x. Piercings/tattoos: ears, navel
x. Do you do drugs: nope
x. Do you drink: Once in a while
x. What are you most scared of: Not being happy. Failure.
x. What clothes do you sleep in: shirt & sweatpants
x. Where do you want to get married: A park maybe... Something pretty. Outdoors.


x. Room in house: my room, since that's usually where i am
x. Type(s) of music: lots of different stuff
x. Color: Green
x. Perfume or cologne: Sheer Freesia, Adidas for her, August
x. Food(s): CHINESE FOOD!
x. Month: May, October, Dec
x. Day: Friday, Saturday
x. Gemstone: Diamond


x. Cried: No
x. Bought something: Popcorn, Powerade, Propel, Donuts,Pizza, Super Rope, Taco Johns, Dennys, yep, all food.
x. Gotten sick: No thank god
x. Sang: Yes
x. Met someone new: No
x. Talked to someone: Yes
x. Missed someone: Yes
x. Hugged someone: Yes
x. Kissed someone: No

1 braved it | i dare ya.

:: 2004 16 December :: 10.18 pm
:: Mood: content


well its about that time of year where ice is thin and all hell feels like its going to melt it away.

doo da doo da.

i dare ya.

:: 2004 14 December :: 6.12 pm
:: Mood: full / lazy
:: Music: BEST shit. the good old BEN FOLDS.

i will always love ben folds.
hello there.

here's something for you to ponder on. this was going to be a profiler, but nah. journal will do.

there's never gonna be a moment of truth for you,
while the world is watchin'.
all you needed is the thing you've forgotten,
and that's to learn to live with what you are.

so freak out if you wanna,
and I'll still be here.
don't call me for years and when you do,
ya I'll still be here.

i'm not saying the effort is a waste of time,
but I just love you for the things you couldn't change though you've tried.
these hours of confusion they will soon expire,
like everything... does.

gooood song.

you've got to learn to live with what you've got.
very influencial.

i'm such a hippy. haha. not because i state a life lesson, but because this music is hippish. haha. it's fucken awesome! what it really reminds me of is industrial, modern, new york, tall buildings & black and white. that's what woohu reminds me of too, that why i love ben folds and woohu because it seems so similar. i dunno, it's just the way i am.

but then i'll go back to the crossfade & breaking benjamin & cKy stuff & i'll rock out. [ with his cock out ] haha.

they say im nasty, but i dont give a
damn. -- getting boys is how i live.

haha, that's a bit too extreme for the random viewers who don't really know me to be labeling me for, so i'll stick with this in the journal as well.

ryan and kasey called me tonight & wanted me to take them to mini critters... oorrr not. sitting here sounds much much better.

i really need to stop snacking. i'm seriously going to get fat. i have 3 boxes of candycanes on my desk + 2 boxes of chocolate covered cherries and my mom bought doughnuts and a bunch of junk and i consitently eat it. i really don't care if it was something like a big dinner meal or something but this junk really is really starting to make me feel sick. then when we do eat a real meal it makes me feel worse because i was eating before hand so i feel REALLY full. yeah, gross.

winter formal. YAY, i'm so excited. nicole & jamie are going now too. nicole has a hair appt with karlie and i now too, i made it for her today. yay! + we might have 4 guys going with us. i think we're just going to consider us all a group instead of pairing off with somebody, it's better that way since nobody really is together / has a big thing going on, so we'll all be one big date, which is better anyway, more SUGA for ALi haha. either way it really doesn't matter, but the guys are letting us, tonight, know what they wanna do. so hopefully they'll come! otherwise it'll be just as fun.

love is a flame that can't be tamed
and though we are its willing prey, my darling
we are not the ones to blame

trust is a word all lovers know
the glorious art of staining souls, my darling
we are not the ones to blame
the more we have the more we want
and the more it hurts our hearts, my baby
it always ends up in tears

music owns my life. i love it. i need it. i want it.

again the burden of losing rests upon my shoulders
and its weight seems unbearable
your tomb is where your heart is,
i should have told her
but within me hid a secret so terrible

to cry is to know that you're alive
but my river of tears has run dry
i never wanted to fool you, no
but a cold heart is a dead heart
and it feels like I've been buried alive by love

if I should die before I wake
pray no one my soul to take
if I wake before I die,
rescue me with your smile

the more i listen to rock then more i love it and listen to it more.. it's consuming me. it's all i listen to anymore. its BEAUTIFUL.

i should clean my room, i've got stuff everywhere.

oh yeah, i think i've decided to not wear the 15 dollar pair of heels i bought, with my dress because it's quite pointless so i'm going to wear my black flip flops with the shiny black beads from TARGET, yeah!.. the ones that owned the summer, along with the SAME ones in pink. haha. fo sho.

so i should probably run along and clean my room real quick. then watch amazing race at 8.

DAMN i love having a journal.

much love

i dare ya.

:: 2004 12 December :: 10.58 am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: whole lotta nothing


i got candycanes! yyayy. took us like a half hour to find them in walmart though. stupid walmart. actually we're just dumb and couldn't find them.

going to the mall in about an hour shall be quite the exicitingness.

last night i AGAIN had a dream that karlie and i missed our hair appt. but this time we got there a half an hour late [@ 3.] and the lady starting doing my hair and she's like how do you want it done and i was like i have no idea, i've never gotten my hair done before. and she was all crabby that i had no idea.

so that was my lovely story.
karlie called at 1030 and woke me up.
but thats okay.

i think thats all i wanted to say.

i dare ya.

:: 2004 11 December :: 6.33 pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: country

bored & waiting
hi, i'm extremely bored & waiting for jamie to call me back to say if she can go with nicole and i or not. and i'm fucking bored & haven't been outta the house all day so i need to get out and i'm sick of waiting around for ppl.

lincolns winter formals tonight. aha. fun stuff.

i kinda wish ours was on a saturday. i dunno, maybe not because then i'd be waiting around all day for it to be night and stuff. so i really don't know.



i dare ya. | Random Journal