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Remind Me To NEVER Act This Way Again

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:: 2004 12 June :: 12.27 am

Got this from Ashlie's.

2 got what they deserve | pull the trigger

:: 2004 16 May :: 1.32 am
:: Mood: curious
:: Music: All Falls Down

Late Night Update
Time for bed.

So. The drama continues. I'm not going to go into the whole thing. I may some other time. Let's just say there's a task to be done tomorrow to solve the problems. Anyways...

9 days. God let it be over. I'm ready to be out of school now. Damn. lol. I regret wanting it to go by so fast because now I wis I had soaked in all the time that's gone by. Damn.

Anyways I'm too tired for this.

Good Night.

2 got what they deserve | pull the trigger

:: 2004 11 May :: 6.44 pm
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: My Typing

I hate having 2 journals.
Nightmare Before Christmas!

What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

2 got what they deserve | pull the trigger

:: 2004 7 May :: 6.50 pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: Story of the Year

Hopeful outing.
So... yada yada yada...

I must update. Kelly insists. Woohu is much more... i don't know... different than livejournal.

Today... I thought I was gonna scream. I actually did, but anyways. Yes people there were fights and whatnot... but when you have exactly nothing to do with anything even closely relater to it in any way, shape or form... then you should probably not act like you were there. "I woulda hit her in her shit". Yeah... sure ya would ::wink wink::... but you didn't, did ya. Nope. So shut your fucking mouth. God, I'm so big and bad... I can do this and that... too bad you've never "proven" that point. Jackass. Lot of talk no action... kinda like your sex life. Ha. Bitch...
I know that I have not specified who this is going to, but I'm sure if they read it they would know. I'm saying what I wnat because I can... no intention of stirring up drama... but it often comes with the territory.

Lots of pent up anger here. Fucked up situations and whatnot... hopefully my drunken fest tonight will heal it for the few hours i'm under. Ha.

gotta split.

pull the trigger

:: 2004 7 May :: 6.50 pm
:: Music: Story of the Year

Hopeful outing.
So... yada yada yada...

I must update. Kelly insists. Woohu is much more... i don't know... different than livejournal.

Today... I thought I was gonna scream. I actually did, but anyways. Yes people there were fights and whatnot... but when you have exactly nothing to do with anything even closely relater to it in any way, shape or form... then you should probably not act like you were there. "I woulda hit her in her shit". Yeah... sure ya would ::wink wink::... but you didn't, did ya. Nope. So shut your fucking mouth. God, I'm so big and bad... I can do this and that... too bad you've never "proven" that point. Jackass. Lot of talk no action... kinda like your sex life. Ha. Bitch...
I know that I have not specified who this is going to, but I'm sure if they read it they would know. I'm saying what I wnat because I can... no intention of stirring up drama... but it often comes with the territory.

Lots of pent up anger here. Fucked up situations and whatnot... hopefully my drunken fest tonight will heal it for the few hours i'm under. Ha.

gotta split.

pull the trigger

:: 2004 27 April :: 8.40 pm
:: Mood: out of it
:: Music: bright eyes

Bella's Company
Hmm. I haven't updated for a while. I haven't seemed to get around to it. Plus the whole money thing I just haven't cared. At all. Kelly told me today that she paid my $2. How sweet. *Love you, dear.* So, I suppose I will stay. I still have a livejournal. I think that one will be only friends. My more personal one.
Aww. Baby Sleeping.
I went to X Fest. I went with my mom, dad, and sister. She turned 18 on the 18th. SHe had a alot of fun. We drank. They all tried to get me drunk. But for once.. which is weird... I said no and that I would be designated. So. We had a good time. My 1st real concert... 2nd overall concert. I want to go see Bright Eyes in concert. I really liked seeing Trapt. They're y mom's favorite. It was fun. Until... fucking skank ass ho... came and had to start shit with Mel. I thought Mel was gonna kill her. I didn't think Mel was that strong. But she was had drunken super powers. She beat the shit out of me trying to get to the bitch. I held her back and got her out. Told her don't worry she'll get hers. Just wait.
I forgot anything else I was going to say.

5 got what they deserve | pull the trigger

:: 2004 17 April :: 6.20 pm

I have a livejournal now. What fun.

1 got what they deserve | pull the trigger

:: 2004 16 April :: 12.59 pm
:: Mood: giddy
:: Music: Shosh running her yapper

Blah Blah Blah
Alright. Well, I am at school now. Sitting with Shoshi and Lynne. I did my Bio thing speedy. I took Care's advice and did Tuberculosis... and yes that's spelled right... I checked. Anyways, I am bored and yeah. I made a livejournal last night, but I haven't made it pretty. I don't know if I actually will. I may just have to buy a notebook or whatever. I don't know. But I like being able to make things show my personality and then sayin what want inside of that. But yeah. I'm going. I'll probly update later. Blah Blah Blah.

2 got what they deserve | pull the trigger

:: 2004 8 April :: 10.26 pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: story of the year

Hmm. I stayed home yet again today. Which means I am probably failing Aerobics. 0 if you're absent, 0 if you don't dress out. Bunch of shit. Anyways. I missed Linds today, as much as yesterday. I feel as though her transformation is almost complete. Ha.
Last night, Dylan and I went outside to play basketball. While we were out there Ricky came and he wanted to play Around the World with us. So, onward with the game we went. I was winning and everyone is like "Take a chance, don't be a chicken" so I do... and I miss and I have to start from the beginning. But the funny thing was that Ricky would take a chance every time and miss even when he was winning and always have to start over. But in the end, I prevailed, Beating Dylan Ryan and Ricky. So Ha! And I was happy. We played in the dark and I was scared to be knocked out by the ball because I couldn't see shit. Hmm. I was eaten alive by little buggers out there.
But on a different note. I slept these 2 days. Alot. And the more you sleep, the more you want to sleep. So, I have been tired yet rested for 2 days. Very strange. The family is supposed to have a gathering for Easter. It's like it's freaking Christmas. We're gonna have turkey, ham, all the good stuff. But I can't complain, Shannon makes damn good turkey.
Soon I will bid my farewells and migrate over to livejournal. All in good time, dears. All in good time. Ta-Ta.

pull the trigger

:: 2004 7 April :: 11.51 am
:: Mood: groggy
:: Music: foo fighters

two in a row
I'm home sick. Yuck. Lots of disgusting medicines to take. And I get yet another 0 in Cannon. Oh well. She can kiss my ass. I can't help being sick, Biotch. Ha.
I'm sick of school anyways. It never ends. But it's going fast enough. 3 more years. ...Damn... Ha. It sucks to find out a certain someone ended up being a senior. Which means only a few more weeks and then ... no more. Hmm. Sad.
Anyways. My head is aching and my throating is itchy. So I will depart.

4 got what they deserve | pull the trigger

:: 2004 6 April :: 5.38 pm
:: Mood: sick, but surprisingly bouncy
:: Music: D12 - My Band

This is Hott.
-I don't know dude...
I think everyone's all jealous and shit cuz I'm like the lead singer of a band dude...
And I think everyone's got a fuckin problem with me dude...
And they need to take it up with me after the show...-


I'm sick. I think I have a doctor's appointment for tomorrow. Probly because I'm sick. duh.
I'm going to Daytona the day school gets out. Happiness. I love it there. Tan. Oh, but last time I played volleyball and I got a lb. of sand in my eye. Which sucked, but not this time. Ha. Shawn is coming with us this time. Which should be fun. he's happy to be coming. So is everybody else. We will spend 2 days in Orlando, then off to Daytona. I get to drive. Ooh Yay.
Omg! OBSERVATION: old crush... small flame still burning. Mr. Sexy is being watched by another. Teen-ah we need to 'get rid' of her. Ha. Kidding, Love.
God. This weekend I am going out. Even if it means leaving window style. I'm ready for a long night of hard liquor and smoke clouds. But anyways I ran out of things to say. Since I never update anymore I thought this would be something new. Adios.

-I'm the lead singer of my band, I get all the girl's to take off their underpants
And the lead singer of my band, my salsa
Makes all the pretty girl's wanna dance
My salsa, look out for my next single, it's called My Salsa...
My salsa, salsa, salsa, salsa, my salsa
Makes all the pretty girls wanna dance
And take off their underpants
My salsa makes all the pretty girls wanna dance
And take off their underpants, my salsa-

Ha. That's one hott salsa. Ha.

2 got what they deserve | pull the trigger

:: 2004 24 March :: 8.54 pm
:: Mood: shitty
:: Music: 3 days grace

damn shit
Spring Break was fine... until I went to S.C. with Mel, Trever, and Baby. Everything was fine. Except I was witha bunch of weird hill billys that I didn't know and I was scared and I got left alone with the kid and I cried and wanted to go home and I was in HELL, but it's over and I will never go again. And I love Mel, and if that shit head hurts her I'll break him.
Drug assembly today. I wanted to cry. The girl screamed "Marie's next". Now everyone is drama-tized. Ha. Fucking bitches are all talking smack about "beatin her ass" and whatnot. People who aren't even friends with Marie. Ha. Anything for the drama. Stupid Bitches. I hate chicks.
I've said it once and I'll say it again. I hate the people I surround myself with. I don't know why I do. Today I was hell bent on just telling them to fuck themselves, but I couldn't. I didn't want there to be any fucking drama. Wasting time. So, I thought I might as well just waste time being nice than being a bitch. It takes less energy.
Everyone lies, and everyone cheats, and everyone is full of shit. So, why did I think you'd be any different??

pull the trigger

:: 2004 16 March :: 2.04 pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: i hate everything about you

hangovers and turkey
i saw a billboard that said "nursing home abuse" and i laughed. and then i felt bad because i remembered happy gilmore and the poor little grandma. but i still laughed.
applying for more jobs today. need a job. summer is coming soon.
have to go.

2 got what they deserve | pull the trigger

:: 2004 10 March :: 8.29 pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: taking back sunday: your own disaster

i wanna get high.
I was going to type a long journal entry... waa waa waa... but now i don't give a shit. so soak it in.

2 got what they deserve | pull the trigger

:: 2004 9 March :: 9.13 pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: finch

german rap is freaking AWESOME!!
Ha. Most of 7th period we listened to german rap. Except like a couple of the songs were english. Hmm. Mrs. Stocker is chill.
I am contemplating coming to school stoned. Hmm. I don't want to thursday - bio test.
I hate listening to the 'punk kids' making stupid comments... about EVERYTHING. Drives me crazy. "I have such strong views on everything, but especially things in which I have no experience." Waa, waa, waa. Shut Up!.
I'm so sick of people, every last one. "I hate my life"..."I'm a big baby"..."Waa, waa,waa"..."I love to waste time looking for things to be 'd e p r e s s e d' about." Ahh. The teenage word... depressed. And if you're not, god... you're not cool. jeez. it;s totally in this season. ha.
I was thinking of going out and getting the "i hate everyone" sweater I see all around, but only because I do.
I leave us with some dashboard.
-And this BITTER PILL is leaving you
with such an ANGRY MOUTH.

and it's LEAVING YOU with such a HEAVY HEART
and SO ARE YOU.-
hate me.

pull the trigger

:: 2004 8 March :: 8.28 pm
:: Mood: jealous
:: Music: story of the year

unacknowledged, unmentioned, am i even here?
I wrote a long comment, but woohu being gay didn't do it. Oh well. I've changed my mind. Whatever. Bitter Heart of mine.
Friends... why a neccesity? The whole about not liking them... kinda bad situations. I'm always ready to trust and let them in, but they just suck. Offer everything... you're going to have it taken. Such is life. so are people.

Die young and SAVE YOURSELF.

4 got what they deserve | pull the trigger

:: 2004 7 March :: 3.27 pm
:: Mood: discontent
:: Music: yeah yeah yeahs - maps

damn people.
"I want to be labeled as..."

PLEASE! Jesus Christ. And the thing that bothers me most is that people try so hard and make themselves believe they're something they're not. I mean therapy people, but then that might make them think they're new label should be "psycho". I swear. "If I say this... or wear this... or do this, then maybe I can be this." Or maybe you should ... be yourself. Or is that too crazy thought?? Yeah. Hmm. Ponder it.

Anyways. This weekend I went to the Shrimp Festival. Got tan and sunburn. More sunburn than anything. It hurts. Then today I went shopping. Found a skirt, shirt, and pair of pants. It sucked trying clothes on with a sunburn. It's only a little space on either side of my shoulders. But damn does this shit hurt.

Making Ramen noodles. Bye.

pull the trigger

:: 2004 4 March :: 5.59 pm
:: Mood: busy
:: Music: lost prophets - last train home

For Teenah.
I just finished reading Tina's ebtry. I cried. I don't want to see those things associated with her. It hurt my heart. I mean I know how those things go. And it hurts me to know that it's happening to her. I mean I already knew, but it just sinks in hard. I couldn't lose her. I don't know what i would do without her. Honestly, if I found out she ended it, I would probably, too. It would be just the fianl push off the edge. Tina is kept in that special place in my heart. I'd do anything for her and I would never let her be hurt if I could help it. She's on of the best people I've ever known. I thurts me t see these things and know that if I tried I'd probably make them worse, but I can't help but try. I don't know. I want to make things better. So for Tina... this is for you and i love you with all my heart. You're pretty much the closest thing I have tp perfect, so with that I'll go. Love to you.


pull the trigger

:: 2004 1 March :: 4.52 pm
:: Mood: mischievous
:: Music: Finch

I'm here.
This weekend was chill. I watched movies.
-'A Man Apart' with Vin Deisel
-'Heartbreakers' with Jennifer Love Hewitt and Sijourney Weaver. Which I bought. It was the movie Amanda and I loved. :(
-'Matchstick Men' with Nicholas Cage. It wasn't sad, but it just made my heart ache.
-'Under the Tucsan Sun' with Diane Lane
-'Halloween'... the first one
-'The Gooines' which was Sean Aston's 'big break'
And... spykids 3D shit which I didn't like so much, but I watched it with Dylan so it was all good.
I started to watch the Oscar's last night, but I had to shower and whatnot. I saw the first 3 awards given out and that's it. I know that Lord of the Rings won all 11 of their nominations. Which is wonderful. I love it!
I am bringing the Dashboard CD for love tomorrow. I wanted to bring Midnight Mile for her, but I may choose a different one for her to see. hmm. I have not yet chosen.
Chris burned me CDs: Brandston, Bright Eyes, Unsun Zeros, Thursday, Consumed, and some more Finch.
I am supposed to be going shopping with Mums tonight. I was trying to decide where to go for dinner... Ruby Tuesday or Sbarro. Both me and mums love both so, i can't seem to choose. But i'm thinking Ruby Tuesday.
My glasses, as i said before have new lenses, but they are too strong and when I wear them I am like dizzy and feel all spinny. Not like horribly, but the lady that looks like a wolf at the eye place is fixing thm to make them all better.
I think that mother is getting me 'A Man Apart' and Gone in 60 Seconds'. Yay. Happiness. All I ever do is watchh movies. But oh well.

I love tina, mucho. And everyone else. ha.


pull the trigger

:: 2004 26 February :: 8.31 pm
:: Mood: quixotic
:: Music: sunny day real estate

what the hell is quixotic??
got me some new contacs. 6 pairs. my glassa got new lenses since i couldn't see thru them since my eye sight got even worse. oh yay. :(
tina got braces. and i never knew braces were so hott. ha ha. i love teenah!!
i have to clean my system of my drugs and go apply at winn dixie once again. i need to save up mucho money and fast.
i haven't been online for a bit seeing as my phone was royaly fucked up for a while.
Today i just found out about FCAT coming. i had completely not realized. seeing as i block everyone out. but only in important times. ha.
got new seats in german which sucks. because now i have bitch behind me and it's gay. and then the one who always laughs over there and the other up ther. and it's gay so i'm just going back to my old seat tomorrow. oh well. and just when seats were getting good. fuck. oh well.
i have decided in on a pontiac grand prix!! yay!! so fast. woo hoo.

About You
Hair Color:brown with red
Eye Color:blue
What school do you go to?:cypress
What's your mascot?:panther
Where do you live?:fort myers
Who do you live with?:mom and little brother
Do you like your family?:yes
Do you have any siblings?:yes
How old are they?:22...17...10
Do you like them?:yes
What do you think of
Justin Timberlake:homo
The Beatles:good
System of A Down:good!
Hilary Duff:hott
Wayne's World:no
the government:gay
Have you ever
done drugs?:yes
had sex?:no
got arrested?:no
been to a concert?:no
gotten drunk?:yes
stole anything?:yes
Do you know the muffin man?:the one over on mulberry?? wasn't he some crazy killer/ rapist or some shit??
Isn't Revenge of the Nerds a good movie?:yes
Are you bored?:yes
Are you glad this is over?:not when i'm bored.

My Survey brought to you by BZOINK!

i am now keepingxsecrets on aim. love you much.

am i losing you?


2 got what they deserve | pull the trigger

:: 2004 18 February :: 8.05 pm
:: Mood: chill
:: Music: law and order

this too
Three things that scare me:
1:the ocean
Three people who make me laugh:
1:little brother
Three Things I love:
Three Things I hate:
1:bitches and hos
2:being single
3:all the drama
Three things I don't understand:
1:how people can't except just being them
2:how dad doesn't seem to care
3:how mom is always right yet i never listen
Three things on my desk:
Three things I'm doing right now:
1:eating an apple
2:talking to dylan
3:taking survey
Three things I want to do before I die:
1:get rich
2:make mom happy
3:world peace?? AH HA HA!!
Three things I can do:
1:2 words -- BEER BONG
2:type extra speedy
3:talk my way out or into anything
Three ways to describe my personality:
1:loud at times
3:willing to take what is given
Three things I can't do:
3:go without a jacket

Three Things brought to you by BZOINK!

pull the trigger

:: 2004 18 February :: 6.38 pm
:: Mood: drowsy
:: Music: people with taxes to pay.

talkin' shit and gettin' payback.
I babysat the dog today. Little bastard has sharp little teeth. Believe my hand can tell you. He's frickin adorable.
Elijah is coming home on Friday. Probly won't be at Mel's, but I don't know. I wanna chill with the guys, but i don't think that will happen with baby and all. I told Mel about "the thing" for "the guy". I'm sure she probly told people by now. damnit. When I told her at first she was all... "Oh god. Why?! Yuck." And then I asked why. And all she had to say was to exlpain all of his wonderful qualities. She said he wasn't bad afterall. :) And i said 'I told you so.' And didn't hate it one bit. Hmm. Do you believe in love at first sight?? Or could it be my feelings could be from being both extra high and extra drunk?? Who knows, but either way I'm happy I have them. Hmm.
Well. My friends are wonderful. They're what friends are sposed to be. What a relief.
Tina's new seat in Math... it's hott. ha. no. it's weird because she's far away. I feel so alone back there by myself. Tammy has completely stolen me of my riches. :(
I've been trying to work on a friendship with someone, but my efforts seem to be futile. Every time I put in any effort to care, it's shut out by them. Oh well. You can only try so much.
I feel in the mood when I love everyone. Which is rare since there are so many shitty people out there to ruin your day.
Since my little dive off the bus yesterday, my frickin arm and back are sore and bruised and whatnot. :( It sucks. God damnit.

Dad said he'll return the car. But I don't know when. I suppose when the cold weather goes away. He would have to ride the motorcycle at 4:00 a.m. in 50 degree weather. that wouldn't be good. And it sucks that I actually care even when he doesn't. Such is life.

--- I wonder --- Why is it that mother is always right yet I always find a way to not listen??


pull the trigger

:: 2004 17 February :: 7.02 pm
:: Mood: it's been a downer
:: Music: tbs - your own disaster

i fell off the bus this afternoon. ugh.
PLANS: Mother and I have decided that we are to trade in dad's car for a car of my own. That is if dad ever decides to bring it back. But that would also mean time for a job for me.

TO MY LOVE: Teenah! Did you love the movie? By the second or third time you watch it, you understand everything and completely love it. I'll have to remeber to borrow The Good Girl and Midnight Mile. Both good. Both jake gyllenhaal. Kevin + eyeliner = hott. I'm so glad you helped him feel sexy again. Ah ha ha.

I'VE OBSERVED: that people are gay. There are people who hat eto be labeled. They don't want to be another stereotype. And that's fine.
But then there are people who try so hard to be a stereotype. I'm not talking about the bimbo cheerleader and the horny jock either. I'm talking about people who aren't content just being themselves, meaning to be just another person in the world. They want a label. they want it so bad, they risk being stupid and losing friends. But what they don't realize is that everyone notices who they are and who they're not. So in the end, they just look dumb.

LINDS and SHOSH: i love you mucho!!
Teenah already knows my love for her. :D

I think 'lijah is coming home soon. :D

And people legalizing marajuana would just take all the fun out of it. (teenah!)


7 got what they deserve | pull the trigger

:: 2004 15 February :: 10.25 pm
:: Mood: chill
:: Music: silence

update out of boredom.

weekend --- friday - below entry. ha.
saturday - slept completely thru the day until dark. then couldn't leave to go out because i was grounded for arriving late at the house.
sunday - slept in but only until like 11:00, which is early for me). got showered up and made plans for tonight, then last minute, me and mums get into an arguement.. and there go my plans... grounded once again. so...

i was searching and searching the web to find a bcakground that would look good and let my black font show up... let me explain the issue--- i had a great thign hooked up for the journal. loved it mucho. then i notice that i can't see the quote thing at the very top. because both my journal background and font were black. ad you can't see black on black. so i was pissed. i kept tryin to pick another background color, but was not satisfied. so i then asked assistance and started searching websites and looking at backgrounds. i found a few that i liked and i tried to get them to work. of course they wouldn't. so i just gave up after like an hour and decided just to change the font color. i don't like it as much as before, but what can i do. so that's that.

i missed tina today. we had a conversation going, i had to split, then i came back and she was gone. :( sad. and i was "waa waa". but that's alright. love her mucho.

i must depart my head hurts very much.


pull the trigger

:: 2004 15 February :: 5.08 pm
:: Mood: chill

the change
this is the new journal. this is my needed change.
this is the latest entry from my other journal.

friday night... after school my sister was supposed to pick me up, but i hopped the bus instead. then i went home and chilled for a bit. Then around 4:00, she drops by and says she's there to pick me up to go stay at her house for the night. i thought i was going on saturday, but not. so i called mums and got the final ok. we left my house and went over to trevor's. he got mel a puppy. we named him jack. then we hopped in the car and went over to shit-head's house to pick up some smoke. we smoked out in the car a couple times. then after, we were supposed to meet up with tonya and go over to brian's but she didn't or couldn't or something. so we went by brian's. trevor took me behind the garage thing and gave me a few shots of tequila. then we went back. we took brian over to dave's house. we chilled there for a bit. i got piss ass drunk. cait kept doing beer bongs. i think she did 3. and jeremy said that through the night he had done like 14. so, i was drunk and stoned and all the good stuff. more drunk than anything. and jeremy is gansta. ah ha ha. then the drama happened and we split. after about an hour or two at brian's we decided we should go over to dave's and seee if jeremy was ok. he was... his gansta ass. ha. there we kept drinking and smoking and the sort. later, when i was fully passed my 'being out of it' stage. i decided it was time to go around 2:30. we dropped brian at home around 3:00 and went back to trevor's. we got there around 4:00. then i slept 2 hours until we had to leave to get me home by 6:30. so when i got home i passed out. i slept all day today. from the time i was dropped off - 7:00 a.m. - to the time i woke up today - 5:00 p.m. -. i had a nice nap. tonight i wasn't allowed to go out, seeing as i was late getting home.

-if i'm just bad news then you're a liar.-


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