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:: 2004 1 February :: 8.28 pm

Driving 84...

Driving 84 on a cold snowy night
Speeding out of here because me and my boy got in a fight
Slam on my brakes because I almost hit a deer
Almost shit myself because of the fear

Kidnapped my sister along on the ride
All my secrets I confide
Start singin' songs together
Because we'll be sisters forever

So back to the problem with the boy
His ex bitch, he just can't deploy
Back and forth he's in limbo
Why pick her, she's the bimbo

So here I am, balling my eyes out
When all I wanna do is SHOUT!
He's breakin my heart, can't he see
Will she ever just leave us be

Driving 84 on a cold snowy night
Driving back with him in sight
Im gonna put an end to this confusion
And we'll try to form a conclusion

He'll forget her and stay with me
We'll be together happily
We're driving 84 on a cold snowy night
He's taking me to a place to be out of sight

He'll buy me a ring and a single rose
Got on one knee so he could propose
Once again, Im driving 84 on a cold snowy night
I think everything is gonna be alright

Walk down the aisle and stand in white
Holding back these tears I have to fight
I can tell we're happy now
From all the words from his vow

Driving 84 on a cold snowy night
Now I know everything will be alright

*ride my star*

:: 2004 29 January :: 6.16 pm

The little things

Its the little things
That help me realize
The feelings that grow
Deep inside of me
When I get scared
Run away from something
Or cry for no reason
Its the little things
That get me through it
Those litting things
Come from your heart
They're the things you do
Without intending to

Its not finished.. but yeah..

*ride my star*

:: 2004 13 January :: 9.06 pm

Never realized for a moment
How beautiful it is
Outside that tiny little box
That ordinary people see
But never actually leave
So many restrictions
And feelings just waiting
To tear me apart
If I go near the edges
So I sit in the center
With my head
Tight to my knees
Fear has taken over
And filled my head
With frightening illusions
Of what the outside world
Could very well be like
Voices start talking to me
Cant tell where they're coming from
Pulling at my hair
And screaming in fright
I stand up and make a run for it
Finally leaving the tiny little box
Realizing they were just lines
Taped on the floor of the asylum
As I'm looking around
People in white jumpsuits
Are walking towards me
Pinning me on the ground
Pulling the restraints tighter
I scream as loud as I can
But they dont let up
So I try even harder
To wiggle my way out
But they just wont let go
So I just lay there
As they move me to the bed
I look around for an escape
Only to see a man with a needle
I try to fight him off
With the little strength I have left
As he injects the sedative
Childhood thoughts start flooding my mind
Running short of air, I close my eyes
Suddenly I realize what he had given me
My heart beat, gradually decreasing
With every breath I fight to take

Theres more, but it has a twist.. so if you want to read it.. let me know...

4 *ride*s | *ride my star*

:: 2004 13 January :: 3.22 pm

Awakening from a bad dream
I feel the burning in my heart
Dont want to believe it
But the dream has come true
You've left me all alone
Without a single goodbye
A thousand tears have been shed
Several months gone by
I guess this is what I get
For loving you, for loving at all
Still lay awake at night
Asking myself why you left
And my heart starts beating
Flashbacks of your sweet kisses
Start flooding my mind
Breaking out into a cold sweat
Falling to my knees
As I scream your name
The beating of my heart
Suddenly slows to nothing

...I need a different ending.. Any suggestions, or idea's?

2 *ride*s | *ride my star*

:: 2003 30 December :: 7.56 pm

Im scared to death
That your just a dream
Something to fill my head
And another fall to the ground
Afraid to get too close
Have my heart torn in pieces
So would you mind at all
If I just stayed right here
And let you come to me
I dont want to screw up
Because you mean so much to me
Dont want to lose you
But I dont know what else to do

*ride my star*

:: 2003 10 December :: 7.06 pm

That night I met you
I felt so warm inside
The sound of your voice
So soothing and deep
Being able to smile
And have a reason for it
Made me like you even more
Got a glimpse of your eyes
And I fell into something
That I dont want to get out of
Just wish I could be with you
Right now, in your arms

*ride my star*

:: 2003 17 November :: 9.24 pm

You make me shake
Shatter and break
Crackles in my voice
Making the right choice
Reaching for your hand
Sinking in quicksand
Wiping away tears
Washing away all fears
Cant catch my breath
The thought of death
Trying to fight
Your nowhere in sight
Want and waiting to die
On my last breath I just cry
The saddened look in your eyes
Creates horrifying butterflies
I start to slip away
And my body begins to decay
Reaching for the matted covers
I look up to see the angel that hovers
Finally, She's come to take me away

*ride my star*

:: 2003 17 November :: 9.24 pm


I opened my heart
Stuck out my hand
Got left behind
Alone in the dust
My eyes well up
With cold bitter tears
They gently fall
Breaking the ice
The way you act
As if nothing happened
Makes me wonder
If I wasnt good enough
Floating in a puddle
Sinking like a brick
My heart shatters
Theres nothing left to fix
I try to talk
But the words arent there
Speachless, but determined
I reach for your hand
But I get nothing in return
I look into your eyes
And all I see is pain
Looking back at me
Like Im the guilty one
You blame me
And I forgive you
Taken by suprise
You grab for my hand
I pull away
The look back
Afraid to fall in love
I shed another
Just for you
Believing its all just lies
I glance into your eyes
But you dont glance back
Just like that its all over
All the memories
Good times and the bad
Regreting everything that happened
I get rid of all the gifts
Even the pictures of us.

*ride my star*

:: 2003 17 November :: 7.38 pm

Hate for you

You can shove it in your ass
Because I dont want to hear your lies
The ones you told me on that night
That made me fall for you
You sicken me to death
Never want to hear from you again
Or see your nasty face
You caused me pain
And now I suffer
Dont know how to cope
With all this shit
That was thrown my way
Hope you trip and fall
Break your neck
And suffer a slow death
I hate your fucking guts

*ride my star*

:: 2003 16 November :: 5.55 pm

He stood there playing his guitar right in front of me, and all I wanted to do, was beat him with his guitar.. I was irritated with him.. Not because he wouldnt stop playing.. But because he kept looking at me, and he looked sad.. and there was nothing I could do.. I knew that I couldnt comfort him, without people thinking there was something going on.. Without me, myself thinking something was going on between us.. I couldnt do it, knowing that he had a girlfriend, but I was still letting myself get more attached.. I stopped talking to him so that I could pick myself up off the ground.. And I miss him.. I miss talking to him as a friend.. I cant stand this.. I want to be his friend, but I cant do it, knowing I want him the way I do.. I dont know what to do.. I want to be over him.. I've had all the time in the world, to get over him.. and my feelings just dont go away.. I cant stand to watch him hurting. Feeling the pain he feels.. Watching him with her, breaks my heart. Because it seems like she's not enough to make him happy.. If only I hadnt met him.. *sigh* I just need to tell myself, I dont want him.. I cant have him. I dont want him..

*ride my star*

:: 2003 16 November :: 5.51 pm

You told me to believe
And have faith in God
Told me so many unreal things
That helped me feel good inside
Yet Im still standing here alone
In the one place I feel safe
Not sure if I should cry or not
So much emotion, so many feelings
Flushed away in a matter of moments
Never had that chance to share with you
The way I really felt inside

*ride my star*

:: 2003 16 November :: 5.50 pm

Will you, when I?

Will you wrap your arms around me
When I am cold and almost blue
Will you pick me up
When I have fallen
Will you be my guide and savior
When the road gets rough
Will you hold my hand
When I get scared
Will you smile for me and hold me tight
When Im sad and afraid to be alone

*ride my star*

:: 2003 10 November :: 7.20 pm

Your Kiss

You kissed me here
You kissed me there
Each time was more wrong
Everytime it got harder to say no
Wish it had happened more
So i can gloat to my friends
That you have the sweetest
Most admirable lips
That make me dream at night
About the first one the last one
And the one Im going to regret

*ride my star*

:: 2003 10 November :: 7.18 pm

Your eyes

Your eyes are so beautiful
Like the moons reflection
On the still glass-like water
I can see them twinkle
Like the bright night stars
When I gaze into them
I get lost inside
Could sit here forever

*ride my star*

:: 2003 10 November :: 7.17 pm


When I feel your lips on mine
I want to quick pull away
But it feels so nice
To have this emotion
Running through my body
Dont want to ruin its flow
Or interupt its path
Suddenly it stops
Because you pulled away
When you realized you were wrong
To be doing this to us
We'll never be together
But we always find a way
To get that feeling
Back in business

1 *ride* | *ride my star* | Random Journal