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:: 2009 9 August :: 10.01 pm

an answer would be nice!

god i miss danny. i hug a pillow at night.

i need help i need hugs i need a loved one to be with me

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:: 2009 9 August :: 1.43 am


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:: 2009 8 August :: 3.15 am

i think there is someone in my belly

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:: 2009 7 August :: 2.58 am

i dont want to miss you like this anymore

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:: 2009 6 August :: 6.34 am

so fucking tired. i spent the night in an airport, hooray

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:: 2009 2 August :: 4.59 am

do i seem different to you here on the stairs, bare and pleading oh please open yourself to me. my slow blooming flower, i am tired of petals. i know that it is natural YOU, but the planets are circling too slowly and i am weary of the days and the nights.

this will not last much longer or perhaps it will last forever. but please please it is all i ask, please tell me soon.

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:: 2009 28 July :: 1.33 am

i'll never love anybody but you baby, baby, i'll never love anybody but you if you'll be my boy

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:: 2009 20 July :: 11.06 pm

it is getting that way, i can smell you and feel you when you are gone. and the nights you are with me go on and on in a blur of your smells and your hair and when we wake up together we make love and fall back asleep together and everything is going to be different this time, or exactly the same, and i do not know but i do not care! i am falling falling in love and finally i want to paint and finally i want to do something with myself. OH yes yes yes yes eysysysysysyses yes!

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:: 2009 18 July :: 3.49 am

i do believe in it with all of my tiny little heart. and how could i ever doubt that your soft touch would leave simply because it is soft. my feet are firmly planted beside yours and my smile is getting bigger and bigger all the time.

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:: 2009 14 July :: 11.11 am

i overreacted, but i am way too worn down. what am i going to do when school comes back?

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:: 2009 13 July :: 12.17 pm

doctors all the time and swallowing barium is disgusting and prescriptions and i'm always sick and dan sleeps over and takes care of me but i know he must be so annoyed and he must want to leave for a girl that is just a little tougher

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:: 2009 9 July :: 11.45 pm

I took a moment from my day
Wrapped it up in things you say
Mailed it off to your address
Youll get it pretty soon unless

The packaging begins to break
And all the points I tried to make
Are tossed with thoughts into a bin
Time leaks out my life leaks in

You wont find moments in a box
And someone else will set your clocks
I took a moment from my day
Wrapped it up in things you say
And mailed it off to you

"i hope you are ready for a long ride."

my sentiments exactly!

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:: 2009 9 July :: 11.42 pm


am I ever tired of taking care of the sick! I AM sick! man up, people!

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:: 2009 8 July :: 2.34 pm

i will just as soon as i can.

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:: 2009 27 June :: 5.02 am

and daniel that song was so beautiful and i cannot believe it was you in 10th grade. you have so much to say and so much to do and if you want i will be here for the whole thing.

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:: 2009 27 June :: 4.58 am

when i am older, i will want to remember jamie speaking into the microphone in the middle of a fritz song, "jocelyn got a new haircut!" and the room screaming laughing jumping as the song continued. it was a very very very good moment to have and i'm glad i went out tonight after work. and i'm glad i cut 10 inches off my hair.

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:: 2009 27 June :: 4.51 am

i am and have been convinced for over a year now that I am the last woman on the world who could ever make you happy. it goes both ways of course, but the former is most clear. it is for this reason that i no longer care when something i say upsets you, because much of the time it is unintentional; my character itself just seems to anger you, no matter what the circumstances. i would say more but it is very difficult to express anything to you, not because you are stupid (in fact i think you are, thankfully, very intelligent), but because you will misread and twist my intentions, not because you WANT to (this is my dearest hope), but because we no longer understand one another. anything i can possibly say will be misconstrued by you. and frankly, i am completely done with trying to explain myself. it has gotten to be just silly.

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:: 2009 26 June :: 3.43 pm

a thousand times yes! and another thousand things to do. why am I online?

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:: 2009 24 June :: 7.28 pm

joe is acting just as he did in high school he blames me for everything and pushes me out, completely out, yells and screams and wants me to roll over and die.

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:: 2009 24 June :: 1.17 am

in the most potent moments i am so happy. i have faith that every question you have asked me is because you desperately want to know the answers, that you cannot stand it outside of my heart, and i have not lied to you in all this time. i trust you to trust me, and above all else i know that you will care for me and understand, at least partially, my relationship with joe. not once have you complained or been jealous and you have no reason to be.

i will not always choose him over you.


i am fa-a-a-ling in to a deep well!

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