rina
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::
2006 13 March :: 12.13am
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: set yourself on fire - stars
we might be hitting clearer skies
i shouldn't be here, she says,
from the bottom of her bed,
as he weaves their limbs together once more.
one. breathe. two. sigh. three.
the countdown has begun, she thinks,
but there's nothing left to see.
imagine our halves making a whole, he sighs,
the way wind meets water for stormy skies.
she always thought love was a supernova.
filtered sunshine, dust-light gleams,
half-covered in sheets with satin seams,
he holds her the way the ocean holds the shore,
says, love shouldn't be so sore!
but with skin meeting skin,
mingled against whispers of wonder,
she thinks this is how she should spend forever.
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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rina
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::
2006 12 March :: 11.47pm
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: he lied about death - stars
killers always have killers on their track
i am constantly setting myself up for failure.
i take on projects that are too much for me too handle simultaneously.
like i need to feel the stress of multiple deadlines on me every minute of every day.
i hate it.
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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rina
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::
2006 5 March :: 11.25pm
:: Mood: worried
:: Music: cold cold water - mirah
is it not enough to be complete
sex, drugs, self destruction,
you're becoming less and less like yourself,
and assembling into this misconstrued mess.
i'm sitting through headache and heartache,
and you're washed up, washed up, washed up,
wasted.
and there's nothing i can do.
me, you, we,
our plans were to leave.
but let's not get carried away.
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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rina
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::
2006 2 March :: 6.10pm
:: Music: wandering star - portishead
for whom it is reserved
i am not happy here.
i cannot be happy here!
so why am i trying so hard?
1 |
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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|
rina
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::
2006 23 February :: 10.37pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: engine heart - mirah
trembling lips and carburator sighs
car l'espoir dans mon sein a versé sa névrose!
venus des plaines bleues,
blémis par la longueur des lieues.
oh,
it's calm even in the catastrophe.
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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rina
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::
2006 20 February :: 10.58pm
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: celebration guns - stars
then the next day, how well you know your enemy
i do not want to be everyone's defective friend.
that "oh, well guess who i know" friend, who you slip into coversation because you have nothing better to say.
a filler.
yes, i have insomnia.
that doesn't mean i'm happy about it.
that doesn't mean you have to tell everyone you know.
i feel so bare, when you tell people.
i told you in confidence,
and here you guys are,
"give her a break, she has insomnia for crying out loud!"
what delicious gossip!
so, really,
when you are surviving on maybe
two or three hours nightly,
and trying to still live your life the way you can,
you can tell everyone you'd like.
this is not my excuse,
not for late classwork,
or faulty mindset,
or bad taste.
it does not hinder my life,
because i don't notice it most of the time.
stop making it part of yours.
1 |
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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rina
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::
2006 14 February :: 10.00pm
:: Mood: creative
:: Music: kissing the lipless - the shins
gluing tinsel to your crown
i love cold mornings where you can see your breath,
it's like watching your words take shape.
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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dreamiecloud
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::
2006 12 February :: 9.31pm
The damaged kind, who always just wants to please but never, ever will.
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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rina
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::
2006 10 February :: 7.35pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: play crack the sky - brand new
the morning finds our bodies washed up thirty miles west
you are ridiculous.
your gender, in particular, is ridiculous,
and awkward is not a strong enough word.
you know sometimes they call me tous lightening,
but i suppose this can mean nothing,
since lightening can never strike in the same place twice.
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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rina
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::
2006 8 February :: 2.57am
:: Mood: exhausted
ignoring the ache of my head,
i have never in my life felt so elated.
its 3 in the morning,
and i have no one to share this with.
1 |
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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dreamiecloud
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::
2006 6 February :: 6.15pm
Je ne t'aime plus, mon amour.
I can not wait to graduate. I mean really I can't i want to go to college and learn to be self reliant and all that.
What i am not ready to do is lose a lot of people. You know those people you hang out with once in awhile, the ones you talk to just in school, or the ones you just got to know. All of these people are just going to go away. You dont know their phone number because if you called them you wouldnt have much to say. But you love being with them, even though it is for like 45 minutes a day.
We are growing up and we are going away from eachother. It is the people who matter you come back to.
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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rina
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::
2006 3 February :: 4.58pm
:: Mood: energetic
:: Music: something to look forward to - spoon
some things are best left unsaid
i have decided,
that late nights spent on useless speeches, essays, projects, etc
are entirely over.
i'm going to be young and carefree.
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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rina
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::
2006 1 February :: 11.36pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: let go - frou frou
there's beauty in the breakdown
i need better work ethic,
because it mostly consists of sighs,
backward glances, impossible structures.
this is so difficult,
willing the right words to flow from my fingertips.
i always think that its so much easier speaking in person,
because think of what we're missing?
creeping blushes, fidgeting hands, bright eyes.
we're so defined by our mannerisms.
so much that it makes up, oh, 95 percent of language.
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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rina
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::
2006 31 January :: 7.54pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: iou - metric
subtract my age from the mileage on my speeding heart
i hate hate hate the way i am blamed for things not concerning me.
the day i leave here,
i hope i don't look back.
i do, however, really enjoy a certain boy's company.
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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rina
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::
2006 29 January :: 7.24pm
:: Mood: apathetic
:: Music: si tu n'etais pas la (frehel)
incapable de rester toute seule
how can i be sure,
that everything you've said to me,
has not been the chaos of mixed signals?
for once,
i'd like to feel that i'm actually in control of something,
and that i might be worth more than a quick fix.
i will not be the sum of all my inadequacies.
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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rina
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::
2006 27 January :: 3.28pm
:: Mood: relaxed
:: Music: la valse d'amelie (piano)
whats holding up her face, nothing but blue skies
i was locked outside my house today,
for almost two hours,
and i have never been so content in my life.
the sky was a clear, heartaching blue,
and i was listening to comptine d'un autre: l'apres midi,
almost on repeat,
and in that time i've decided that i love the way clouds melt together at the slightest touch,
like a lover's embrace.
sometimes i imagine that if the world were to reverse itself,
inside-out-upside-down,
then the endless abyss of sky would be my home.
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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rina
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::
2006 25 January :: 8.43pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: hopesfall
today was,
in all ways possible,
perfect.
2 |
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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dreamiecloud
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::
2006 22 January :: 1.19am
no one lives but us.
today i havent said a single word out loud. i have typed and read and thought all day.
so, it doesnt feel like i have been quiet. even though im itching to speak.
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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rina
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::
2006 21 January :: 5.44pm
:: Music: monster hospital - metric
i fought the war but the war won
scanned two sketchbook entries.
they are here and here.
i can't stand cancellations.
the sorry, denied, deleted, just-a-memory.
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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rina
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::
2006 20 January :: 2.36am
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: the calender girl - stars
the stars will kiss your pretty face
this is so terribly frustrating,
never doing work when i should.
i promised myself i'd do better, better, better.
and look where its got me,
i'm a burned-out-brain-dead-no-life-sucker.
c'mon now.
i waste my time doing things i shouldn't,
just to end up getting out of it anyways.
i do not possess any motivation,
and it feels like my heart is dying.
glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
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