OnCe AgAiN I hAvE aLoT oN mY mInD.
I miss my jeans ::nudge nudge lindsey::

Me and Theresa were having a falling out but were doing better now.

I worry about Amy

Mom is in Chicago::I smile::

Went for a run today. Isnt it supposed to get easier cause its not lol

I am proud of Lindsey(she knows why)

X-men 2 comes out friday. That makes me smile

I am scared of the freshman center. I am scared my friends will find new and better friends and I will get left behind.

Screw the last entry. The insecurities are consuming me. Sorry to disapoint you T-Baby.

I need a break from life all the little things are adding up and I just cant take it. My head hurts.

I'm sick of the torn feeling. Torn between friends. its no ones fault. its just hard. maybe I am being selfish

I am glad Theresa and Zach arent taking drivers ed cause that was making me feel young lol

Maybe I am being selfish. Maybe all I need is someone to talk to....

I am not gonna let these anxieties and insecurities consume me.

My Head and Heart Hurt......


I'm Scared and Annoyed

I feel as though I'm gonna have an emtional breakdown at any moment.

I need a break from life and if I dont take it soon I am gonna explode. I'm fucking sick of everything.

Suckey Spring Break
My spring break so far has been a drag. I spent most my morning with my head in a toliet and I just got off the phone w/ Sheely, She is such a good listener. Sheely=Cool.

I feel a little better I took about three showers today and after every shower I would put on pajamas gawd thats so pathetic. I got a present today Sam's boyfriend got me the sim's expansion pack and I've decided he's a really cool guy. A little strange though. Speaking of Sam, everytime her boyfriend is here she treats me like shit and She's mean to me. Oh well its not like we were friends or anything....

Mom and Dad are still on There date. Yeesh they've been gone since like five.

I had this creepy dream/premonition/vision of the future.
It was my birthday party and Raptors came out of the woods and eat all my guests and Then Lindsey Turned into a midget and then the bon fire killed everyone and set people on fire and then I ran to the deck and my dad locked me out and he wouldnt feed me and I was wigging out.

I think this is a sign about my birthday. Part of me is scared its not gonna be good. I dunno I feel like the weather will work agaisnt me or there will be some drama or mom is gonna cancel it. Maybe I'm just being Pestimistic. I have a bad feeling though.

Decided which movies to rent for party
The Excersist.

Part of me wants to runaway on birthday just spend the day with me, just get away from it all. But a party could be really fun and I'm sure it will be. Its like Pre-Party Jitters.

Conclusion!!
Girls really aren't attracted to my dorky image lol its alright I'll never give up my headgear!!!
Actually that doesnt really bother me right now.

I am enjoying talking to Lindsey, Its been awhile.

Mom rented Fight Club!
Robin: I am gonna go home and Watch fight club!!
Rachelle: I am gonna join fight club in high school...if there is one.

Lol she is adorable.

I have been spending alot of time w/ Sheely. Which is really cool cause she is really nice.

My birthday is a week from thrusday and I kinda need to stop uppsessing.
To My Friends: I know I have expressed a huge need for presests but its really not that important to me. I mean presents are nice and stuff but its really not a big deal.

I need to study for my science test. I wonder how much longer I can procrastinate(spelling?)

I turned on a new song The Red-Chevelle
Theresa wants me to download Send the pain below by Chevelle and I would download it if Kazaa wasnt so dumb.

I know this sounds dumb and insecure and whiny but I really feel ugly I hate looking in the mirror and mom is trying to be supportive she really is but this really isnt her area of expertise(spelling?) I dunno if i lost weight I feel alot of people wouldnt notice or care.

I am focusing on negative again! bad robin bad. There are people with worse out there. Who am I kidding Its hard to focus on those people when I am having troubles, Its not that bad, everything will be ok in the end(:

right??

People are always saying "Cheer up Robin" and "Be more positive" and "Be happy"


If only it were that easy....

Quiz

your eyes show unhappiness


which eye are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Copied
I copied this from Theresa's Journal

Loves,
My shampoo, my backpack,Rory,My friends, My cds, my cd cases, my bunkbed, when it snows, watching lacrosse(not playing), summer days, saturday mornings, friday nights, pepsi one, the smell of gasoline, solitare, planned events, tubing, woohu, my woods, the privacy of my woods, my tennis shoes, my little green notebook, money, listing things i know i will never get, chocolate, vanialla, mint chocolate chip. snickers, when ppl say "your skinny", compliments, my grandpas garden, pool tables, lakes, that accomplished feeling after excersising, sunshine, moonlight, the stars, charmed, when mr. byrant talks about AC/DC he gets so excited, new cds, christmas time, spontanious acts, my birthday, other ppl's birthday, people making a fuss over me, attention,smiling, instincts and impulses, funny words, american eagle"alive" colonge", Movies, Theaters, Alanis, Kazaa, new socks, new jeans, new stuff in general.

Hates...
Way to much.....lol what does that tell us? lol

sorry
I'll be alright or atleast I think I will be.

I just need some time alone to figure some stuff out.

Sorry I've been such a butthead.

sorry
I'll be alright or atleast I think I will be.

I just need some time alone to figure some stuff out.

Sorry I've been such a butthead.

Ya I know I am depressing.
All I wanted was a little reassurance and apperciation

I guess it was too much too ask for....

Everyone else did it lol
1. How old are you? 13 almost 14
2. How old are you mentally: like 4
3. Describe yourself in 5 words: Funny,nice,a little mean,caring,compassionate.

4. What are your worst qualities: Where to begin lol I'm judgemental and mean and somewhat of a butthead lol
5. What are your best qualities: I'm compassionate
6. How long does it take you get get ready in the morning: 40 mintues
7. Do you dream at night? Yes
8. Do you remember your dreams? Most of the time
9. Describe one: I dont want to.
10.What time do you go to bed usually? Weekends: about 1ish
Weekdays: 10-11:00
11.What time do you wake up normally? weekdays; 6 am
12. What time do you wake on weekends? Around 9 or 10
13. Do you find waking late nice or annoying? annoying
14. Do you sleep with one pillow or two? actually its like six.
15. Do you like school? sorta
16. Why/why not? I enjoy seeing my friends, why not because Its boring lol
17. What\'s your fave subject? Math because I have Krystal and Theresa and Carinna in that class.
18. Most hated subject? L.A. I have a grudge agaisnt Mrs. Klaes.
19. Do you have a fave teacher? Prolly Mr. Oulette even though sometimes he can be a butthead lol
21. Ever had a crush on a teacher? no
22. Are you a maths/science person or an english/drama person?. English/drama person
24. Do you have a best friend? I have a few.
25. Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends? More girl friends
26. Do you ever get annoyed at any friend? ya but who doesnt?
27. Have you ever lied to a friend? yes
28. Have you ever stolen a friends boyfriend/girlfriend? nope
29. Do you like your parents? not really
30. Ever run away from home? Thought about it
31. Ever thought about it? Read above
32. Do you have any siblings? 2 sisters and a brother
33. If so, do you like or get annoyed with them? YES!
34. How old are they? 21,19,10
35. If not, do you mind being an only child?
36. Do you feel your parents spoil you? not really.
37. Do you not get along with any of your family? Some
38. Do you have big family get togethers ever? only on like holidays and special occasions
39. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? no
40. If so, are you in love with them? um no
41. Do they love you? um no
42. How long have you been together? um no
43. Most romantic thing they\'ve ever done for you? once again I am still single
44. Do you have a crush? Yeah
45. If so, are you in love? yes
46. Do they know you like them? pretty sure.
47. Is it serious or playful? playful
48. How long have you liked them? A long time
50. Ever done something stupid to impress them? Oh gawd yes
51. Ever had sex? Nope.
52. Believe that a person shouldn\'t have sex before marriage? nah
53.Do you believe in casual sex? Sure.
54. When did you lose your virginity? umm prolly never lol
55. Do you have a religion? not really
56. Do you practice it i.e go to church? Nope
57. Do you believe in God? ya
58. Jesus? ya
59. Satan? ya
60. Heaven? I hope there is one
62. If you died tomorrow what do you believe will happen to you? how the hell should i know
63. Does death scare you? sometimes
64. Have you ever been drunk? no
65. Taken drugs? ......(:
66. Stolen? From stores? like once
67. Shoplifted? once
68. Tried to commit suicide? no
69. Lied to a boyfriend or girlfriend?ya
70. Gotten into a fight? Yes
71. Are you more innocent or guilty? lately guilty but for most of my life i was innocent
72. Would you date a drug addict? depends how much i liked them.
73. Have you ever had to look after someone who was a drug addict? yes
74. Are you racist? nope
75. Are you discriminatory to anyone? Nope
76. Have you been a hypocrite in the past? Yes everyone has been.
77. Do you have an open or closed mind to other peoples beliefs and feelings? Open mind
78. Do you watch tons of tv? lately yes
79. How many times have you been to the movies in the past 6 months? 3 times
80. Do you listen to the radio often? nope
81. Do you read the newspaper? no
82. Do you read magazines? Yep.
83. Are you a couch potato? UH HUH
84. Do you use the internet too much? yes
85. Whats your favorite style of music? New Rock and Punk
86. Do you sing? no
87. Whats your favorite band? This weeks band is Staind
88. Why? I've been cranky and they play cranky music lol
89. Have you met them before? no
90. Name 3 cds that youve bought in that last year: Puddle of Mudd, Three Doors Down and Alanis Morissette.
91. Why did you buy them? I wanted them.
92. Whats your favorite sport? Soccer
93. Whats your favorite sport to watch? Basketball
94. Do you have a favorite team of any sort? GO RAMS!!
95. Do you play a lot of sports? No
96. Ever won anything for sport? no
97. Are you funny or serious? Both
98. Creative or not? Yes
99. Logical thinker or lateral thinker? not sure
100. Are you outgoing or shy? Depends on mood and place, I suppose.
101. Are you lazy or active? Lazy always lazy
102. Have you ever been hyperactive? Yes!!
103. Are you a naturally hyperactive person? I don\'t think so
104. Are you happy with the way you look? not at all
105. What would you change? the fat....the lack of muscle
106. Do you wear makeup regularly? nope
107. Do you have a large wardrobe? no I am on like one pair of jeans right now lol
108. Do you have a job? proffesional babysitter
109. Do you like it? ...
110. Are you a saver or a spender? spender
111. Do you work hard or slack off? slack off
112. Have you ever been fired? Eeeh no?
113. In trouble at work? ...
114. Made a major mistake? major is too harsh of a word.
115. Ever had money stolen from you? oh ya.
116. Are you always broke? Me personally..yes lol.
117. Your all time most embarassing moment? Wait ten minutes and another will happen lol
118. Ever snorted drink out your nose? uh huh
119. Ever giggled like an idiot? yup
120. Ever embarassed yourself and pretended nothing happened? yup
121. Ever tripped in front of someone you liked? yes lol
122. Ever said something really stupid? yep
123. Ever snorted while laughing? yes
124. Ever fallen off a bed? top bunk lol
125. Ever sleepwalked? nope
126. Ever sleeptalked?unfortunatly
127. Whats your best memory? I have lots.
128. Worst? ...
129. Whats the weirdest memory you have? The time my mom made me apologize to shamoo the whale because i yelled at it.
130. Do you have a good memory? sure

........
Nothing is important anymore...

Hate me

I am ugly on the inside

No one cares, they can say they do all they want but they dont

I hate...everything

Suckey Day
My day started out so suckey! I pretty much got ditched and shit. Then I spent most the afternoon putting up insulation(spelling?) Which I hate doing chores in the basement. Cause I have to insulate Beau's Fucking Bedroom. I went for a bikeride today maybe I'll actually lose some weight. after about an hour of mopping around, Amber and Lindsey called me and wanted me to come over which was really fun I was kind of in a bad mood though but by the end of it, I was ok.

I know all I do is complain but I had a bad day...