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:: 2008 26 February :: 8.46 pm
:: Mood: contemplative

Cacoon, or Crucible
So yeah, Lansing sucks by myself. It's so fucking lonely over here. I wish I had a girlfriend.

So basically because it sucks so bad over here it has forced me to either live in a permanent state of depression or grow myself into a better person. Both hurt mind you, but growing is infinitely better. I've decided that I've been depressed for long enough in my life. I want to take control of what I can and not sweat the rest. If I can't change something I face it, understand it, and come to peace with it.

So I've been working out everyday, and going for walks everyday. Even when it's freezing cold I go walk for like an hour. It makes me feel good, and gives me time to think pro actively how I can enjoy life more. Usually a workout consists of like 30 curls each arm, 50 sit-ups, 30 tricep extentions, 30 double leg lifts, 30 knee style wide grip push-ups, and some jogging in place to keep the heart going. I try to do it circuit style with minimal time between transitions. I'm still really new at this so, I'll probably add different exercises when I learn more.

I've also started to try and eat more healthy, and eat smaller portions. Again, I'm a total newb at this, but hopefully I'll figure out what works for me as time goes on. Basically, my current strategy consists of using better ingredients, maintaining protein, while cutting carbs, and calories. I also cut pop out, and drink a lot more water.

I'm comfortable with who I am right now, so why am I doing this. There are various reasons such as personal growth, being healthier, and enjoying life more. However, One of the biggest reasons is women. I wish that I could meet someone that was ok with who I am right now, but it hasn't happened. I'm tired of being single, and alone. I've been doing it all my life, and as someone who thrives on relationships it sucks. Overall I just want to feel better about myself; mind, body, and soul. They are all connected.

pimp me, baby!

:: 2006 21 December :: 4.28 am
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: The National: Boxer

Capital City Blues
It's Christmas time, and I'm in Lansing. It's Christmas time, and I probably won't be able to see any of my friends. It's Christmas time, and I don't want to be alone.

1 lover | pimp me, baby!

:: 2006 11 September :: 8.03 pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: Hellogoodbye: Zombies! Aliens! Vampires! Dinosaurs! - Touchdown Turnaround

It begins!
Here I am world! Recieve me into your bosom! Andy is the biggest spoon of all! Go go BIG ASIAN INVASION!

4 lovers | pimp me, baby! | Random Journal