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:: 2004 6 April :: 3.30 pm
:: Mood: crazy

I'm not dead!!!

That's right! I'm not dead!

How excellent is that!

So...let's seee...there's a valid reason why I haven't updated, but I have to tell you about my weekend first. Now what did I do??? Oh yeah!


I went to a concert with Melissa. Before that I ate some ice cream, but I ran for like 15 I think it's alright. After that we went to O'Charlies and ate. We made a new waiter friend named James who asked us to come back and see him some time. I felt kinda bad, because we were cheating on Brent, but we had a good time none the less. What Brent doesn't know won't hurt him.


I woke up and said to myself, "If I don't get my tattoo today, I'm not getting it at all." So Sam and Melissa came over and we went to the DMV. Ends up you have to have a birth we went back to my place and searched for it. It only took us like 3 minutes to find it, which was super awesome. We waited like 10 minutes total at the DMV, which was freakin' amazing. And then I had my ID!! So we headed for the tattoo place, but Sergio was busy, so I made an apointment for 7 and we all ate pizza. Nick joined us for a little, but then had to head off again. So finally 7 rolls around and we go to the tattoo place. He didn't actually bring me in until like 7:45 because he had to get everything ready. I was kinda nervous about the pain and all...but I wasn't gonna let that stand in my way. Sergio was like "Are you ready?" and I was like "Hello yeah." Serg was so awesome, he made me feel so comforatable. It didn't hurt that much at all. To me it kinda felt like someone writing on my back with a ball-point pen and pressing down too hard. Melissa stayed with me. The hardest part about it was after like 10 minutes I started to get really bored. I almost feel asleep at one point, because I was laying on my stomach. Finally it was finished. It's the most beautiful thing ever! I'm so happy I got it! The first thing we did was go to Jillian's real quick and show Brent. He told me he was proud of me. Then we went to Waffle House and ate.


I'm in a lot of pain because of the tattoo, but I still love it to death. Nikie's hangin' out with me in Carrollton because it's her spring break. It's all cool

Mmmmmm...I love my tattoo!

love me

:: 2004 1 April :: 10.45 am


My kid sister wrote an entry with my name as the title, so I figured I'd do the same.

You know it's weird because most siblings don't get along, but Nikie and I are pretty cool. She reminds me a lot of myself when I was her age. She thinks she's all fat and ugly, but she's not. She's super cute, she just needs more self confidence.

Nikie and I should go on some sort of awesome trip.

If only we weren't so poor.

You know what Nikie...your the shit...that's right THE SHIT!!!

Ahhahahahahha! Who's stealin' who's words now?!?!??!?!

That's what I thought.

You should go and check out her journal though....and leave her plenty of notes.

I'm off to pack...tar tar!

love me

:: 2004 31 March :: 10.44 am


I'm so ready for this semester to be over.

I don't know where I'm going with this just run with me if I start to bitch about random crap.

Dude I hate Carrollton. I woke up Sunday morning and I thought I was gonna cry because I knew I had to come back here. I'm just feeling the stress of not having a real "home" I suppose. Living in my parent's house frustrates me to no end. It's like I can't ever do anything to satisfy them. I don't understand how my step-mom operates. I mean I love my little sister to death, but she's getting so fucked up right now she about to become some fucking drug addict and end up just like our mother, and Carolyn (step-mom) fucking rewards her for it. I forget to make my stupid bed and I'm going to hell. I just don't get her. I would so love to get an appartment with someone or something, but the thing is I'm only in Lawrenceville on the weekends, so what's the point of having an apartment that I only live in on the weekends and during my break. I know that I can't afford that. And there's no way in hell that I want to live year long in Carrollton. Like Jeremy said, "Once you've been here for a couple of years they suck you in and you'll never leave." I'm so afraid of never leaving here. I know my Daddy wants me to get married to some nice Carrollton boy and settle down and become a teacher. I just can't do that. I think he's finally starting to understand that I can't just live like that. God I would be so miserable every fucking day of my life.

I really think that the only thing that keeps me in such a great mood all the time is my awesome friends. I mean I can't even express what Melissa and Nick have done for me. It's so crazy. Just to think without them I'd most likely be very very sad and lonely right now. Even the people in Carrollton are amazing. That's what makes me want to come back for another year. Just going out spontantiously for smoothies or skipping class to watch TV, that's what makes everything so beautiful. And of course Alyssa in the dorm room. I honestly felt sad about leaving our little room last night. It'll only be ours for another month, and in a way it has become like my little home away from home. I don't think it would be that at all without her. Even the people that I've just met, like Brent. I mean when he told me I had to come home every weekend just so I could come and see him, that made me feel so kick ass. Just that feeling of people wanting you to be around them...that's so great.

So what do I want to do with my life...

I want to wake up in the morning and decide that I just need a little change here or there., just to keep my life exctiting.

I want to perform...even if I have no money

I want to travel

I want to be happy being myself

Oh yeah...

and I want to marry a rich, hot, rock star.

Hmmm, I am still so 13 somewhere in there.

Man, I feel like laughing.

love me

:: 2004 28 March :: 10.44 am

The End of My Spring Break

Awww...small tear.

Wed. I had no update because I did absolutly nothing all day long. Brent was supposed to call but didn't, and then get this, Melissa was all jumping on me because I didn't call him! She was like, "What if he got into a car accident...what if he's dead?" I was like "Awww, that would be sad. But if he's dead, he's not gonna pick up his phone, and if he's not dead...well then he's at work and he's not gonna pick up his phone. So I have saved myself the trouble of calling and having him not pick up his phone." After that reasoning I felt like I had done something, so I rewarded myself with some icecream.

One of those days between Tuesday and Friday I went to Melissa's work and then another day I went to Jillian's...but I don't really remember much of that.

Friday Teresa got home!!!! I was so super excited. She and I along with Scott and Chris all decided that we needed to go and hang out. Ressa said that she just sort of wanted to sit down somewhere so I informed Scott that we were going to Jillian's...because Scott is my bitch and I like to think I can just do stuff like that with him. Nobody seemed to like it there. I mean, they didn't even like Brent. I was sad. I was all like, "Awww, none of my old friends like my new friends." Oh well...doesn't really matter anyway. After that we all went and played pool forever. I like pool more now than I did before Friday, because in one game, I actually sorta kicked some ass. I was so excited. At around 2 am we all decided it was time to go we did.

And that's it.

I wish my spring break would have had more cars that are on fire...that would have been awesome.

love me

:: 2004 24 March :: 11.57 pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: Every word I say

What am I looking for?

Tonight I just feel so confused it's almost like it's frustrating me.

Almost like I'm in the middle of all this string and it's all knotted and I'm trying to untagle it, but it's taking so freakin' long.

I suppose everyone that wants to get married knows what they're looking for. I mean you have this plan of what he'll look like and sound like and feel like. You're so sure that from the very moment you see him, you'll know, because you have his perfect image maped out in your mind.

You know just what you want.

You know what it is that you're looking for.

And then one day, you meet someone. It's strange because you just get this feeling and it catches you off gaurd. This isn't that person that you've dreamed up in your head. This isn't your prince charming. Yet he's absolutly everything you could have even wanted or needed. You're not having to "settle" for something. It's like this perfection almost and this voice in you is screaming "finally."

He's nothing like anything you ever wanted

And yet he's everything you've even wanted

all at the same time.

Maybe it's because you didn't see him coming...or maybe it's because you're still so afraid of being wrong or out smarted, or just fucking loosing this one amazing chance.

God I don't even know what I'm trying to say.

I suppose this is the type of entry that's usually private, but I just need to know that someone else out there understands what I'm talking about.

Does anyone else out there understand?

love me

:: 2004 24 March :: 1.18 am
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: Broken Angel

Trivia Tuesday!!!

Today was the official mixing of my Carrollton and Gwinnett friends. It turned out to be soo super cool!

We got there right at 7 when we were all supposed to meet. While headed for the door Melissa gets a call on her call phone. I hear the person ask for Bekie and I immediatly know it's Jeremy. I was like "It's Jeremy!" and grabbed the phone from her. He was like, "I can hear your voice!" and right before I was gonna say, "Of course you can...we're on the phone!" he was like "Turn to your left," and there he was with Daniel. I was sooo excited and I introduced everyone. When we got inside Brent was like right there at the little hostess tabel thing. He was like "You know these guys? They've been standin' around here forever, I started to think they were the new door gaurds!" Jeremy (or Daniel, because I was only paying attention to what side of my body the sound was coming from) was like, "Yeah, we were gonna come in and ask you if you knew Bekie." Brent came back with, "And I would have been like 'Yeah, of course I know Bekie!'" and then pulled out the pictures I gave him of me from his wallet. I felt all popular and cool. We all sat down and started to talkin'. A little later on in the night Sam arrived and so did Daniel's girlfriend, Emma. We all had such an amazingly awesome time! We named our Trivia Team "We Win" and the best part was we did actually come in 3rd place and won $10 house cash! It was sooo fucking awesome! Eveyone got along and it made me soo amazingly happy. It was just like the best night I've had in a seriously long long time.

There was one down point though....

At one point I made the statement, "Wow, everyone's hitting on me tonight." I wasn't even being serious...I was just playing around. Brent did this little laugh sort of thing and then said "You're concieded." but it was like he was being serious. I mean, it's just this is the first time in my whole entire life that I've felt okay about myself, but I don't want to be full of myself. It really makes me want to just go back to putting myself all the time and even hating myself to the point where it was almost unbearable. To just sort of be safe.

I dunno.

I think I'm just gonna not let it bother me. If I don't think about it, then it won't bother me. I suppose I'll just have to watch what I say from now on.

So tomorrow (actually, today since it's like 12:50) I'm going to play some sort of game that's kinda like tennis but not with Brent. He invented it, I've forgotten the name, but whatever. Evidently it's like the best game ever...but the thing is I don't do sports at all and I am so out of shape it's not even funny. So...we'll see how that works out.


love me

:: 2004 23 March :: 1.17 am

My AWESOME Saturday...wait, it's monday

Okay I'm going to teach everyone a little lesson about Bekie...


I really can't. I like to believe spelling is a talent, like singing, and I just don't have the talent for it. Spelling sucks! I've never, never been able to do it...and since this is an online journal I don't pay attention half of the time anyway.

So just today Sam informed me that I've been spelling the word "awesome" wrong all this time. Which is sad because I use it soo often. So now I'll try and make it "awesome" instead of "awsome" for all you people out there whole love spelling. My opinion...awsome looks way fuck you.

I'm so confused with the fact that today is Monday because I want to think it's Saturday, because I did stuff.

Here's what I did:

I went to work with Melissa. She works for this baby photo place called Kiddy Kandids (or something like that.) For the most part this portion of my day was just as boring as it sounds. Nobody wanted any pictures, so eventually I dressed up in all these kid things and Melissa took all these super cool pictures of me and then printed them out. I'll see if I can't post them somewhere later. This took up a good bit of time, because after we took the pictures we had to make borders and such and deal with pricing and then print them out and cut them and such. They were so cool. The rest of the night we just sort of sat around. Sam showed up a little later with McDonalds, which was super cool. Oh yeah...and I flashed Melissa (okay, didn't really flash her because my bra was still on.) I was wearing this really low cut shirt (it was really a dress but I was wearing pants with it as a fashion statement) and we were in the back trying to decide how low I should wear it, when I just went "how about this" and just pulled it all the way down. Melissa screamed and I danced out of the back yelled, "I flashed Melissa!" Sam thought we were crazy.

We decided that we all wanted to catch a flick, but Melissa had to stop home first to get changed. She called Sam on his cell phone while she was in her house and told him that her mom told her to just stay home, since she had class and junk in the morning. But she was cool, she had Nick there with her and such. So Sam and I decided to go to the movie anyway. We first stopped by Jillian's (it's right next door to the theater) to say hello to Brent. When he saw us he was like "Don't you people have lives?" I didn't answer that question but instead told him that I had brought him something. He came and did that pickup thing from behind and I had to retell everyone the story from last night and how Matt couldn't pick me up right. I gave Brent the pictures and he said they were majorly awesome. We didn't really talk to him much after that because we had a movie to catch. We went to see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It rocked!!!!!

After the flick Sam drove me home and we talked about funny people and how they think they're on dates. I laughed a good deal. I love laughing.

I love everything right now.

It all kicks such ass.

I think Ressa and I might seriously go to Maine...I'm excited!

love me

:: 2004 21 March :: 1.16 am

My Awome Sunday

My Sunday was so awsome that I figured I'd tell you about here I go...

I woke up this morning and went to church with my daddy. I love my church; it's so cool. So church was kick butt. After church we ate at Wendy's and daddy and I talked about random stuff. I love chattin' it up with my daddy.

I just kinda lazed about because I had nothing to do on my lovely Sunday afternoon. My step-mom got back home from South Georgia (one of my not so happy parts because she was in a pissy mood) and we decided that we weren't going to attend church that night. I figured, "Hey, if I'm not going to church tonight, I should go out have have lots of fun because I'm on spring break!"

So I did just that!

Sam and Melissa came to pick me up and we headed off into the night. Sam asked where we were going and Melissa said that she was hungry. I said that I wanted to go to Jillian's, because it's in the norm. Melissa was like, "Bekie, don't you want to do something out of the norm for a change?" I was like, "I stayed home last night and that was out of the norm for me, so tonight I want to get back into the norm." So in the end I won because I'm so super cool and we all went to Jillian's. We were origionally gonna go and sit with Brent, but he was super tired and looked majorly unhappy, so we figured we'd help a guy out and sit somewhere else so he could leave early. So we sat down in the game room. It was soo cool! Our waiter (his name was Tommy) rode in on this tray thing and it was so fucking awsome. I loved him for the rest of the night just because of this. I was in such a fantastic mood that all I wanted to do was run around and have a crazy fun time. Of course I had a crazy fun time, because I was with Melissa and Sam. We talked and laughed and was great. Melissa bought me an ice cream sunday, which complelty rocked. Nick joined us a little later in the night. He set off to find Mr. Brent and I figured I'd join him since I was tired of sitting. We found Brent who was still much much unhappy. Nick told him bad jokes and he said, "I want to punch you in the stomach and make out with you." or something like that, but it was funny. When we were leaving I felt so bad that I had to give Brent a hug. He ended up doing one of those super awsome things where he picks me up and I was much happy. Nick and I went back to the table and finished our lovely conversation with everyone. A guy Melissa and I knew from high school named Matt Goodson dropped by the table. He was all trying to socialize with me and I was all like, "no" because I don't like him. Next he tried to give me one of those super awsome hugs where he picks me up, but the thing is he doesn't know how to do it right, so he ended up grabbing my rib cage and swinging me around, and it was much painful. He finally put me down when I yelled, "fuck" and then collapsed into the booth. Then he left, but not without leaving me his cell phone number...which I think I will "accidentaly" wash in the washing machine. When we were leaving I got stuck in the booth because I was trying to crawl under Nick and Sam had to pull me out. I laughed a lot and then I went home.

So that was my super awsome night.

You know, if Ressa and I go road tripping, I think I might want to visit Maine, but I'm still thinking about it.

love me

:: 2004 19 March :: 1.16 am

Nick's Birthday!!

Yesterday was Nick's 22nd birthday...aww, my little boy's growing up.

I left Carrollton early for spring break so I could make it to Nick's birthday dinner thing. It was so cool! There weren't too many people there. In fact, it was pretty much just Nick's family, me and Melissa. Brent was supposed to be there but he never showed and Nick couldn't get in touch with him. So we all ate yummy Italian food and pretty much forgot about him. Nick's family is way too funny. We talked about baby names and other fun fun things like that. We went through a lot of our good old memories and laughed. I love laugher. Eventually everyone finished their food and we still had no idea where the hell Brent was, so I figured that I'd call and leave an evil messgae on his voice mail about how he was such a bastard and his house had of better of blown up or something. The sucky part was he acutally picked up the phone that time, so I was like "What the hell? You picked up the phone! Sooo....what are you doing? I'm eating ice cream!" I had absolutly nothing to say since the real Brent was on the phone so I passed him onto someone else and finished my ice cream. It was hella tastey.

Somehow it was decided that we would meet up wtih Brent because evidently he was like right there. So Brent got there and we stood around a lot because we had no idea what to do. We stood there for a good 30 minutes, just pondering on what fun thing we should go out and do. In the end we never thought of a fun thing so we went to Waffle House. Waffle House turned out to be pretty fun. We did eat, but we did play the movie game, which I sucked at. At that point I didn't like the movie game. We sat there for like three or four hours, playing this freakin' movie game, and then Nick had to go and feed his dog. So we left and I went home since it was around 2 in the morning.

Today I went out with Sam and Melissa and I bought more converses. We played the movie game and I won.

I am so kick ass.

love me

:: 2004 14 March :: 1.14 am

No Tattoo Today

So I went to the tattoo parlor, turns out you have to have a state I.D, which little miss Bekie does not have, so I've gotta wait until my spring break (one week from now) to go and get one. Then I'm tattooin' away. I'm thinking it's for the best though because Melissa forgot her camera and we all so want pictures.

So we left and went to hang out at Melissa's place. I showed everyone my super cool cake pictures from Jillian's which I will post once I return to Carrollton. We couldn't figure out what we wanted to do so we left for Jillian's and figured we'd decide after we ate. We only had to wait a little before we sat down, which always rocks. Of course when we did sit down I had to tell Brent the whole story about my dad being in the car and rocking out to Anthem. And then I filled him in on the best part, which is my dad is paying for my rides each weekend, so I don't have to worry about money anymore. Brent thought this was super awsome and said, "That's the greatest thing that Anthem's ever done, bring Bekie home." Melissa, Nick, and I had a good ol' time, joking around about stuff and such. Nick makes me laugh so hard, I feel like I'm gonna pee my pants. I somehow got onto the subject of how my spring break's gonna suck, because all I'm gonna do is sit around by myself, but Brent said he'd hang with me at somewhere that isn't Jillian's, so we'll see if it sucks after all.

Sitting at Jillian's soon became boring, so we left for a good drive around. I gave Nick directions (I had no idea where the hell we were going) and we ended up at Taco Mac. We didn't go in, because we had just ate, but we looked at it for a while. So we had nothing to do. Nick wanted to go home, Melissa wanted to get drunk, and I just wanted to go out and do something. So in the end we went to Wal-mart. That lasted for about an hour and then we were all tired and ready to go home, so we did.

And that brings me to here, and sitting in this chair.

I think I'll have myself some ice cream.

love me

:: 2004 13 March :: 1.57 pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: Cold Mountain Soundtrack

I <3 Scott

Scott and I had an excellent time out last night. I was in such a super mood.

We first went out to Jillian's, because that's so the place I go every weekend. We tried to request a waiter but Brent wasn't there...that fucker (yes I like to believe that everyone's life revolves around me.) It was cool though because the server we did have was so super cool. She recognized me from coming in every weekend and so she was extra nice. Scott and I ate as much as we could, but we didn't make it too far. He was like, "Check us out Bekie, we're like the two skinny people in the resturant who can't freakin' eat anything!" So we left and walked around the mall for a bit. Scott said I was 'downing his game' because every girl that looked at him thought we were together. But then again, he didn't want me to look like I wasn't with him, because he thought that would make him look unwanted or something, so he was pretty much screwed either way. We soon discovered that walking around the mall was quite boring so we left.

When we got back into the car I mentioned to Scott that I just happend to have my Anthem CD in my purse and we should listen to it ( I put it in there on purpose because I didn't want to listen to pop or rap, but whatever.) We started to jam out and I told Scott to pick a random highway because I just wanted to drive. He asked me where I wanted to go a couple of times but I told him I had no destination in mind; I just wanted to go. We drove for about an hour. By this time Scott had decided that our destination was his college because he wanted to show me his dorm room and stuff.

We finally got to his college. It was pretty neat and stuff, a lot of construction going on. Scott mentioned several times that he didn't know why we were here because he knew I wouldn't sleep with him and I laughed. So we stayed in his dorm room for about and hour or two.

You know what we did?

We surfed the internet.

That's right...exciting isn't it?! Actually we went through my picture files online ( and Scott did comentary. It was so funny that I fell out of my chair laughing.

After this we drove back to Gwinnett still rocking out to Antem. We sang along and also had some good conversation about the old days when we were kids. I told Scott that he couldn't ever get a girlfriend because the moment he did I would fall madly in love with him. He asked me if I was serious about that and I laughed. When we got to my house Scott asked me if I really loved him and I said "of course I do Scott" and gave him the biggest hug ever.

Oh how I dig Bekie and Scott times.

And now for the reader's excitement...


And tonight I will be getting my tattoo...ohh so exciting!

*While listening to Anthem's 'Midnight Girl'*

"Bekie, you're my midnight girl!" (winks) -Scott

"But Scott, it's only 7:59." -Me

1 i'm loved | love me

:: 2004 12 March :: 1.55 pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Anthem


I'll have a real update later on today or maybe tomorrow after I have my fun night out with Scott.

But since I'm sitting here with nothing to do, I figured I'd leave a link to my yahoo photo page so everyone can see what I and all of my friends look like...

Let me mention that I look exceptionaly ugly in all of these bad boys...I don't usually look so ugly in real life, just so you know.

And now I do believe I will leave you with some stuff from the good old quote book.

-"Guys always keep hope alive for sex!" Nick

-"Just because there are a lot of skinny bitches doesn't mean that's average!" Melissa

-"He loves you! You shouldn't worry about the old bitch." Mom

-"This thing is massive. I can hardly fit it into my mouth." Scott

-"Anythings open if you have a brick!" Nick

-"The crazy torch has been passed on to Bekie." Daniel

-"Take a dime-sized look at that guy." Brent

-"He wants you to stay at his house!" Melissa

"He just wants to get laid." Sam

"It's the skirt." Me

"Yeah, everyone wants to have sex with you on skirt day!" Sam

-"Taco Bell and the sex shop...put those two hands together, and you've got a good combination." Brent

-"You made truckers horny...shame on you!" Melissa

-"Bekie's the ultimate drug! You can be addicted and never have withdrawl!" Scott.

love me

:: 2004 7 March :: 10.43 pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Lack of Control--Anthem

We're Going to the Anthem Show Tonight

Okay, so we really went last night...but that's a lyric to one of their songs, and I'm a dork....I couldn't resist.

I don't know what was up with me yesterday...but I will relive the events with all the happiness I wanted to feel at those moments.

To start things off I woke up at 8:30 in the morning and couldn't seem to fall back asleep. I was like "What the hell is up with this?!?! It's saturday!!" So I got up, ate a cupcake, then went back into my room and got into bed and made myself go back to sleep. The next time I woke up it was 2:40 and I was like, "That's more like it." I lazed about for a while, because we weren't gonna leave for the show for a while. When I finally started to get ready, I just couldn't seem to get as cute as I wanted. My hair simply refused to work with me, which kinda pissed me off. But I figured, "Fuck that! I have a super cool knitted hat that I can wear, and still look so cool." Around 5 Melissa and Nick came over and we went to Melissa's house. She dyed her hair and I sat about trying to find little things to amuse myself. We didn't leave for the actual show until like around 8 or so. So we're ready to go...we all get into the car...and then Nick's like, "So how do we get there?" So we all get out of the car and go back inside to get directions. We didn't get lost...but we had a hell of a time getting there. And we had a hell of a time finding parking.

So finally, we arive at the 9 Lives Saloon. Just so happens that this place is 21 and over. I'm 19 and Melissa is 18. We got in anyway, but they had to mark everyone would know that we couldn't drink. Oh well, I had no intentions of drinking in the first place. That's not the part that kinda ticked me off. Melissa and I had to pay a cover charge of 10 bucks each, and of course I'm the only one with any cash. I was kinda pissed...but not amazingly pissed. So we're there, in this bar, and there is no sign of Brent whatsoever. We figured what the hell, it's only 8:30, and they don't go on until 11, so we got some food. Nick payed for me since I paid for everyone to get into the fucking bar in the first place. The food wasn't too good. I honestly can't say what was wrong with me last night. I went through so many mood swings; half the time I just sat there looking off into space. While trying my best to enjoy my Philly Cheese Steak, somebody comes up behind me and grabs me. I'm thinking, "Okay, either we've found Brent, or some fucking drunk guy is about to get it right in the balls." Of course, it was just Brent. The first thing that Melissa said was, "Did you know we had to pay a cover charge to get in here??" I was like, "Wait a minute...we? I was the only one with any cash!" Brent asked how much and Melissa said still in her very pissed off tone, "10 bucks each!!" Brent, being the good guy he is, pulls out a 20 and give it to me. We chatted a bit. He seemed so amazingly excited that we showed. I tried my best to seem really interested in what everyone was saying, but it was hard. I seemed like we had to wait forever for Anthem to go on.

Finally we merged into the room where the bands played. We sat up front, because Brent said we had to. The show was fucking amazing. Their stage presence absolutly blew me away. I can honestly say, this is the best show I've ever been to (note: for the interest of the reader, Bekie has been to a total of 5 concerts in her life, including this one...2 of those were concerts that Bekie was forced to attend my her mother as a child.) The thing is everyone thought I had a shitty time because I was just sitting there...but fucking rocked. That's all I can sum up into words...because it's just like too much to say. I just was awsome. There were some great quotes that I got during the show. At one part Melissa yelled to me, "I've never seen a straight man dance like that before!" I think my absolute favortie part was when Brent pulls this guy (he knew him) out of the crowd to sing this song with him. In the middle of the song Brent just leaves to go and get a gin and tonic and leaves the guy up there singing. So here's this guy, on stage, with a beer in his hand, just singing away. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. There were some times when things somewhat when the bass guitar and the mics got unplugged several times throughout the show, but the way they handeled it was so awsome. It was like being up there was the most natural thing in the world. As a musician myself, I absolutly love that. We even got free little CDs.

So...Bekie's review of the Anthem show:

It rocked. If you're ever in Atlanta and they're playing, definatly go and see them...even if you do have to pay 10 bucks.

Not only does Anthem kick ass live, they also bring families together.

Today my daddy had to take me back to Carrollton. As I have before mentioned, we're going through a kinda ruff time. When he asked me where I went last night...I just flat out told him the truth. He seemed pretty cool with it. When he asked how the show was, I told him it was awsome, and then I decided to let him listen to the CD. The first thing we listened to was a cover of "Never Been to Spain." My dad loved it. So all the way back to Carrollton my dad and I sang along to Anthem. It was awsome.

So in conculsion, I love Brent and his band, because they made me and my daddy have an awsome afternoon.

Ohh, go to their website too!

love me

:: 2004 6 March :: 10.17 am
:: Mood: thoughtful
:: Music: Only Lonely

Skirt Day Lives Again!

Yesterday was skirt day. In some ways in was wonderful, and in some ways in was heartbreaking.

But I'm supposing that first, you're all wondering what skirt day is...

Skirt Day is this thing I used to do once a year in high school. It is well known that I never wear skirts or make-up unless I have to. But on skirt day I would pull all the stops out, make-up, skirt, pretty hair, everything. When asked why I was doing this, I would reply, "You've seen me in a you can die happy."

Since I've met a lot of new people recently, I figured I would bring skirt day back so that they can all die happy to. For half of skirt day I felt awsomly pretty...which is strange because I always feel stupid and all made up on skirt day. Melissa took me out and we tried on hot clothes...that I actually wanted to buy. It's so amazing just to feel good about yourself, and I did. Eventually the high heels were really starting to get to my feet. This really put me into a pissy mood and I just wanted to go and sit down somewhere. We stopped by Jillian's to say hi to Brent. He informed us that was his last day working there, and that made me kinda sad because now I'm never going to see him again. So with the tension of skirt day and a million other things on my mind I sat down in Jillian's and cried and cried and cried. It was cool though, Melissa and Sam were there. They're such awsome friends...they took care of me. Eventually I stopped crying and I ate some cake. It was much tastey. I had some alcohol too. It was also much tastey....not enough to do anything though. I'm a careful drinker. While this was going on Brent mentioned that we should go see his band play. I figured why the hell not, then that can be the last time I ever see him. So tonight, we will hopefully see his band play, and say goodbye. After sitting and talking for a while at Jillian's I felt much better...because I have awsome friends. So when we left everything was happy and good again. I told Brent it was so sad, he was leaving and I would never see him again. He told me of course I would see him again or something like that. After that our group (Melissa, Nick, Sam, and Me) made a collective decision to go to Target. I rode with Same. We had much laughter and fun. When we got there Sam pushed me around in the buggy, and Melissa and I picked out hot clothes to wear to the concert. She bought me a knitted hat and some super cool jeans, which I heart her affectionatly for. After this we headed back to Melissa's and watched Back to the Future 3, which was soo super awsome.

In even more exciting new I got an e-mail from my dearest and lovely Teresa. She mentioned that we should do something great and amazing over the a road trip. I would so be all up for this. I have always wanted to go on a road fact it's on my list of things to do before I die. This fills me with lovely things.

So tongiht I will get my rock on....I suppose I'll fill you in on that one later.

love me

:: 2004 3 March :: 5.21 pm
:: Mood: ecstatic
:: Music: Penny and Me

I'm am the luckiest person ever

I really am.

I came to this conclusion while walking to my dorm room today.

You know there are so many shitty people in this world. You have to be careful because it's so easy to get tangled up with them. I should know because I've been tangled up with severeal shitty people in my life time. In fact I just got rid of one of them last november.

The thing is, despite the fact that there are a lot of shitty people out there, there's always those great and amazing people that you just feel so lucky to know. God, you're lucky to know them, but you're even luckier if you befriend them. Those are the people that you love to such a degree that it makes you really want to break down and cry. It such a beautiful and amazing people.

I am the luckiest person in the world, because all of my friends are those type of people.

They are the true meaning of a beautiful person.

There are so many things I feel like I've been waiting for, and now it's like I've found them all...or most of them at least.

So to everyone out there who is my friend, thankyou. Thankyou so much for making me feel so blessed.

Here's some lyrics that I'm feeling right now:

Maybe it's intuition
but some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes, I see my future in an instant
And there it goes,
I think I found my best friend
I know that it might sound
more than a little crazy
but I believe...

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

There's just no rhyme or reason
Only the sense of completion
And in your eyes, I see
the missing pieces I'm searching for
I think I've found my way home
I know that it might sound
more than a little crazy
but I believe...

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I've found you

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

I've never felt this happy.

love me | Random Journal