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2009 3 July :: 11.27 am
>:D
MUAHAHAHAHAAAA....
Oh ho ho, I feel so evil right now. But happy evil >:)
We might move into a two bedroom if Shane can join us! More space, less cost, and great friends! It would be fun!
lessthanthree.
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2009 30 June :: 1.06 am
:: Mood: irritated
I miss
school. And I miss Summer.
Already.
It's flown by like nothing else because I'm working 5 days a week. So the 2 days I have, I get with others and cleaning around the house. I just want a break. I want a day in the sun. I want the beach. I want the pool. I want the park. I want a life. I miss being a kid.
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2009 30 June :: 1.06 am
:: Mood: irritated
I miss
school. And I miss Summer.
Already.
It's flown by like nothing else because I'm working 5 days a week. So the 2 days I have, I get with others and cleaning around the house. I just want a break. I want a day in the sun. I want the beach. I want the pool. I want the park. I want a life. I miss being a kid.
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2009 28 June :: 10.41 pm
Decided...
I've decided which girl I like the most.
Even though it doesn't matter.
Because nothing will ever change.
Figures... just my fucking luck :(
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2009 25 June :: 8.59 am
I love how...
Every time Lizzie comes home, it's so easy for us to settle back into being besties. It's like... she never left :)
I can't wait till her, Anna, Celeste, and I all go out and get wicked crazy... But it will have to, for lack of funds and a settled stomach :/
Other than that it's pretty much me working 5 days a week, getting 2 off, but spending those 2 days doing stuff I don't want to do. I'm still exhausted after my 2 days off and my brain is so busy it won't let me rest... I don't know how I'm going to get through this year :(
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2009 19 June :: 11.38 pm
:: Mood: absent
:: Music: Everything is alright : Motion city soundtrack
Talks
I miss Sus. It would be easier I think... to talk to him about this. More so than anyone else...
I'm writing down all my feelings. Then I don't have to feel awkward or embarrassed. Even though I probably always will feel that way after this... Not myself. I just want to skip to the part in my life where I know who I am. Then I won't have to deal with all this bullshit. All these emotions. It's scary... I just wish I could be comfortable with the possibility of transition.
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2009 17 June :: 11.18 pm
Thunderstorms
in Spokane are epic...
Ouchies :(
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2009 16 June :: 12.05 am
:: Mood: groggy
Beyond Perfect
I find that days where I work are much less enjoyable than days I don't.
Today I had to work so it wasn't that amazing.
But yesterday sure was. I went to the park with Ryan and Rosie. And we went to see Up. And we went out to breakfast and had a picnic with my family friends. We got ice cream and rented stuff from Blockbuster. And then we had amazing sex.
Yesterday was a good day.
But today... not so much. Sitting in front of a computer screen for 6 hours doing an interactive register training program wasn't too fun. Neither was the getting irritated at annoying quips from the boy. Neither was the awkward car-ride. I feel more often than not, that people are judging me. I still feel the need to impress those around Anna and it's just really awkward. I find I appreciate her more and more. As well as Becca who has always been a good friend. I've never had a fight with her. Sure, I've taken Anna's side a bit, but Becca's just enjoyable to hang out with because she likes your company and makes it known. Austin is I think warming up to both Ryan and I since they played video games while we were at the bar the other night. And though I was super wasted, I don't think I was that belligerent... either that or he didn't seem too bothered by it. But then there's Hobo. The one I feel I haven't quite conversed enough with yet. And the approval of the next-best-friend is very important to me. Especially if they move in together...
I went to a hooka bar tonight. I didn't take a drag. I didn't get any in my face. It wasn't too bad being there because we were outside... My asthma didn't act up. I didn't feel peer pressure. I felt content with just watching everyone smoke. As long as I was included in the conversation I was happy...
Maybe today... wasn't too bad :)
But wish me luck for tomorrow, for it's my first day at my new sales job and God knows how nervous I am!
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2009 14 June :: 10.08 pm
:: Mood: contemplative
Drinking
So I've come to the conclusion that I wasn't having very much fun while getting drunk. And then, once I got drunk, and stayed drunk, it was much more pleasurable. It could have been that I was just a little bit jealous. And I should have talked to her before. But I still have this fleeting feeling that they are chatting to each other about me.... I don't know. I think I'm being paranoid and I don't really know how I feel. I suppose both of them are appealing. I feel like a stupid school girl child when I think about it. Crushes on everyone like I had in elementary school. And it's not like I expect a relationship or anything.
Like I said... I don't really know how I feel. I feel like friends should stay friends and not let anything else get in the way. But I've had crushes on most of my guy friends (a long ass time ago) at any rate. Maybe I just have to get it out of my system. And maybe it's just that I never had those options before.... Ugh... I'm so confused....
T_T
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2006 11 February :: 10.50 am
Oh yeah, and... [edit]
You do need help. Lots of it.
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