Remembering
So, my updates are very few and far between. I know, I suck. But I'm pretty sure that the only person who reads my journal anyway is prolly Erin.

I just happened to be sitting here, playing games on the computer and listening to music when Disturbed's Remember came on. Suddenly, I was transported back to be 16 years old, lying on a blue mattress with a sheet tightly wrapped around me despite the unholy humidity of the dark room I was in. Lying in the dark, early morning, maybe 1 or 2 in the morning, with Merissa's pink Hello Kitty radio next to my head with the headphones plugged in, listening to that particular song, praying to God not to let it happen tonight, watching the sliver of light beneath the door, just waiting for a shadow to devour the small ray like so many nights before. Shivering and trembling, my niece, my innocent, beautiful niece sleeping behind me peacefully, completely not knowing what her father was capable of.

It's fucked up how that shit just happens sometimes. I hardly have the nightmares anymore but random flashbacks like that completely throw me off and fuck me up.

Not that anyone really cares, maybe I thought telling you all would make me feel a little better.

~I can ride my bike with no handlebars