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goodbye

:: 2016 30 November :: 9.29pm

I'm an adult. And I can blow $1500 on a lappy if I want to.

Fuck yo' couch.

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goodbye

:: 2016 26 November :: 1.33pm

How are you supposed to meet new friends and enjoy new things when all you like to do is sit at home and binge watch Netflix and play old school video games?

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goodbye

:: 2016 21 November :: 7.07pm

God I love my friends. So so much. Kayla and Anna. Julez and Bill and Nathan. Jessica. Lizzie. Celeste. I just feel so blessed to have people in my life who love me and care about how I'm doing and ask me if I'm alright. This week of all weeks I can say how thankful I am for them.

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goodbye

:: 2016 18 November :: 7.22pm

Looking at graduate programs. Everything is so fucking expensive. And difficult to figure out.

I hate being an adult.

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goodbye

:: 2016 15 November :: 1.06am

So I've watched 2 episodes of Black Mirror. It seems to be from a nhialist point of view. Sick as fuck, but it doesn't really matter. Very interesting concept.

It's bringing up alot of negative emotions I had this summer. As did the end of the last series I watched. I don't really understand the point of my existence. Each day is not a new adventure, it's just going through the same motions. I'm stuck in an invisible cage. My human consciousness has made me aware that nothing matters and I'm living to die.

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goodbye

:: 2016 10 November :: 11.44am

I am so truly disheartened...
Sexism wins again. Faithless electors ruined this country 16 years ago and they've done it again. A mysoginist, bigoted idiot will always beat out the most qualified candidate if the latter is a female. Fuck Donald J. Trump. Fuck all of you who voted for him. Fuck an American society bread from fear and hate of the other and the "weak." Fuck a two-party system. Fuck 2016 and another 4 years (and likely 8) of this insanity. With party majority, all minority rights will be stripped, all social services will be taken away, a supreme court member will be chosen who will continue to rape the progress of this country, and myself, and all the women and girls, and non-white people, and non-Christians, and LGBTQ+, and liberals/socialists, and disabled, and everyone who is not rich will be royally marginalized even more-so than we were a week ago by a man who should never have ever been able to win. Revolution won't be possible with everyone's faces in their goddamn phones and on social media and at any rate, any sort of "civil" war would be lost because the right has all the guns.

If all hope wasn't lost already, it is now.

I'd like to say I'm stunned. I'd like to say I'm in shock and am experiencing disbelief... but I actually thought this was entirely possible. Did I expect it? Not really... part of me, I guess. Honestly, the people in power will never relinquish it and fear is all that will govern this country until it implodes - something far more likely to happen with this giant douche in control of the nuclear codes.

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goodbye

:: 2016 6 November :: 7.16am

At this stage, I don't even want to be informed anymore. I'm so tired of the hate and extremism and killing and terrorists and evangelicals and materialism and lying and assholes that I just never want to read or watch any "news" - or rather, people being dicks - ever again.

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goodbye

:: 2016 5 November :: 6.03pm

My life is pretty fucking great. What am I always complaining about?

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goodbye

:: 2016 4 November :: 10.00am

I always change my mind.

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goodbye

:: 2016 30 October :: 1.53pm

Couples costumes make me want to hurl.

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goodbye

:: 2016 27 October :: 4.28pm
:: Music: Last Days of April: Life Companion Murphy's Law

Adults never tell kids that the best time of their lives will be childhood.
I feel deceived.

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goodbye

:: 2016 23 October :: 3.59am

OMG he is SO HOT /dead.

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goodbye

:: 2016 21 October :: 7.58pm

All day I was making myself physically ill with worry. Just what I did the last time I delivered this news only much worse this time.

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goodbye

:: 2016 18 October :: 11.38am

Just because I can 'deal' with short-term loneliness does not mean I can handle it in the long-term. If I so choose, I'm not sure I could. Boredum is what eats me up. No one there, no one to talk to or do things with, it would suck.

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goodbye

:: 2016 16 October :: 9.51pm

I can feel the walls closing in. They're soft but dense. They're slowly suffocating me.

I can't get out... I can't get out... I can't breathe in this. I'm going to die.

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goodbye

:: 2016 13 October :: 7.35pm

That was not the first time I've been offered a threesome, nor the first time I've been offered money for sex/sexual favors.

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goodbye

:: 2016 11 October :: 9.47pm

I cannot get over how ignorant others can be. This election has brought out the worst in people, including me. It's hard to see the humanity behind an image you see on the internet... but I feel like I cannot be kind to others when they are so bigoted, sexist, and wrong IMO.

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goodbye

:: 2016 10 October :: 10.42am

I'm a pretty cruel person. Loyalty? Nah.

I gotta get my shit right.

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goodbye

:: 2016 8 October :: 11.05pm

Anna is always going to be my friend. She is always there for me. She may hurt my feelings sometimes unintentionally, but I know she would never do it with any malice. She always makes the effort to text when I'm away or see me when I'm home. She is fine going out or staying in or spending money or doing whatever, so long as it's with me. She only wants the best for me. She only wants my happiness.

She is what friendship means to me. I have been very fortunate to have her in my life. Best friends, the people you really want to love, will sometimes disagree with you and get into arguments with you, but they will always be there at the end of the day, in your corner, cheering you on. I have 6 of those. But she's that for me, most of all.

Friends are family you choose.

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goodbye

:: 2016 7 October :: 11.03pm

Gotta let go.

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