God I love my friends. So so much. Kayla and Anna. Julez and Bill and Nathan. Jessica. Lizzie. Celeste. I just feel so blessed to have people in my life who love me and care about how I'm doing and ask me if I'm alright. This week of all weeks I can say how thankful I am for them.
So I've watched 2 episodes of Black Mirror. It seems to be from a nhialist point of view. Sick as fuck, but it doesn't really matter. Very interesting concept.
It's bringing up alot of negative emotions I had this summer. As did the end of the last series I watched. I don't really understand the point of my existence. Each day is not a new adventure, it's just going through the same motions. I'm stuck in an invisible cage. My human consciousness has made me aware that nothing matters and I'm living to die.
I am so truly disheartened...
Sexism wins again. Faithless electors ruined this country 16 years ago and they've done it again. A mysoginist, bigoted idiot will always beat out the most qualified candidate if the latter is a female. Fuck Donald J. Trump. Fuck all of you who voted for him. Fuck an American society bread from fear and hate of the other and the "weak." Fuck a two-party system. Fuck 2016 and another 4 years (and likely 8) of this insanity. With party majority, all minority rights will be stripped, all social services will be taken away, a supreme court member will be chosen who will continue to rape the progress of this country, and myself, and all the women and girls, and non-white people, and non-Christians, and LGBTQ+, and liberals/socialists, and disabled, and everyone who is not rich will be royally marginalized even more-so than we were a week ago by a man who should never have ever been able to win. Revolution won't be possible with everyone's faces in their goddamn phones and on social media and at any rate, any sort of "civil" war would be lost because the right has all the guns.
If all hope wasn't lost already, it is now.
I'd like to say I'm stunned. I'd like to say I'm in shock and am experiencing disbelief... but I actually thought this was entirely possible. Did I expect it? Not really... part of me, I guess. Honestly, the people in power will never relinquish it and fear is all that will govern this country until it implodes - something far more likely to happen with this giant douche in control of the nuclear codes.
At this stage, I don't even want to be informed anymore. I'm so tired of the hate and extremism and killing and terrorists and evangelicals and materialism and lying and assholes that I just never want to read or watch any "news" - or rather, people being dicks - ever again.
Just because I can 'deal' with short-term loneliness does not mean I can handle it in the long-term. If I so choose, I'm not sure I could. Boredum is what eats me up. No one there, no one to talk to or do things with, it would suck.
I cannot get over how ignorant others can be. This election has brought out the worst in people, including me. It's hard to see the humanity behind an image you see on the internet... but I feel like I cannot be kind to others when they are so bigoted, sexist, and wrong IMO.
Anna is always going to be my friend. She is always there for me. She may hurt my feelings sometimes unintentionally, but I know she would never do it with any malice. She always makes the effort to text when I'm away or see me when I'm home. She is fine going out or staying in or spending money or doing whatever, so long as it's with me. She only wants the best for me. She only wants my happiness.
She is what friendship means to me. I have been very fortunate to have her in my life. Best friends, the people you really want to love, will sometimes disagree with you and get into arguments with you, but they will always be there at the end of the day, in your corner, cheering you on. I have 6 of those. But she's that for me, most of all.