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:: 2008 21 May :: 12.47pm

I am officially jobless. I gave my job to Joe because I thought that these people were hiring me and then they decided to "go with family". I have the worst luck EVER. Well, I have two one day a week babysitting jobs but that is CLEARLY not going to be enough to hold me over considering I have to pay bills, even though Joe is going to give me money for that. I need to start looking for a job.



:: 2008 10 May :: 12.17pm

I guess in a way I've learned to accept that sometimes, bad things happen. My life could be worse, and I know that. I think I've increasingly been learning, and becoming a better person. I'm a good person and that is what gets me through the day. Yeah, I have my bad points but there are definitely more positives than negatives. Haha, Marissa seeing the glass as half full, not half empty - that would surprise people, that's for damn sure. My mom want to give the dog away because she has nipping problems and whatnot, I'm upset about that. I really like the dog, and if I could take her I would in a heartbeat. I don't have my own place though so that is pretty much not an option. I wish I just had a big lump sum of cash to pay off my bills, because then I could start a little re-newed debt free life, that would be nice. I can dream.

Things are OK, like I said before, things could be worse. Things are alright with Joe, and my job, and next week I'm going to be making a little cash by work 4 days at my job ($250) and then I'm babysitting for Tracey on wednesday from 4-11 or so, and thats at least $10/hour, probably more, plus she'll compensate me for travel fees. Then on friday I'll get $50 from Jill. This will definitely help towards paying off the Nextel (don't ask, longgggg story).

2 Yeses | Love?


:: 2008 30 April :: 11.48am
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: pieces - sum 41

so, like i was saying.
april 24th would have been mine and rocko's anniversary.
we haven't talked since that date.
i guess we're pretty much over now. it just kind of sucks. like i wasted two years of my fucking life over some abusive asshole.
wow, i fail at life.

1 Yes | Love?


:: 2008 28 April :: 8.56am

Whoa, I haven't been on here in like almost a year!
Holy crap, it's been forever and woohu was my first
love. Well, I'm back now. I can't guarantee you how
often I'll be on here but I will try my hardest. Now,
I'm going to read my entries and see how retarded
my life was over the past I think 4 or 5 years.

3 Yeses | Love?


:: 2008 26 March :: 1.56pm

haven't updated in quite a long time.
i'm working out now regularly at the gym.

in less than a month, it would have been mine and rockos two year anniversary.
i guess we're going to try to give it another shot..
god knows how that's going to go.

i'm really tired actually.

1 Yes | Love?


:: 2008 22 March :: 9.26pm


2 Yeses | Love?


:: 2008 4 January :: 11.11pm

i'm going to steal all of rockos pokemon and put them on mine. aha.
yeahhh boyyyee.



:: 2007 17 September :: 2.19pm

A message to all. (Too lazy to comment this everywhere.)
Call so we can talk about yummy food stuffs.

1 Yes | Love?


:: 2007 10 July :: 1.34pm

Things are ok. I'm really frusturated with everything going on but I shouldn't really be complaining. Got a new job, sooo sad to leave my old one but it's ok. Probably starting my new job the end of this month because they have to wait for the background check, and fingerprints and everything so I have time to move to my grandfathers. Hopefully starting school in August, well, the end of August so that'll be really good. A year after I start working at this job I can probably go into partnership with her when she opens up a daycare and that would be amazing, yeah. Not really much else is going on. Things with Joe & I are going well. He got a job, he hates it but whatever, he'll live.

Just wanted to update so that everyone knew I was alive and whatnot. I'm at the library, then I'm making a copy of my social security card.'


2 Yeses | Love?


:: 2007 23 June :: 9.54pm

so. yesterday, was terrible.
i went out to the point.. started drinking around like 5 or 6.
then danielle took me to my house, then to her house, then back out to the point.
started drinking some more.
rocko made up this bitch ass game
me and alex played it for a long time
for his graduation, one of the things i got him was a corona glass set. there were two shot glasses and a pint glass, which he's been using ever since =]
so up until last night, he hasn't even touched the shot glasses.
{oooh, thinking about this makes my tummy hurt}
we broke them in, basically.
i had captain and he had jagermeister.
we did a couple rounds, and then kept playing rocko's game.
i kinda don't remember that much, since we broke in the shot glasses like, eight times in a row =] if ya catch my drift

apparently i took a couple pictures! in the majority, i am horribly disfigured, so they'll be deleted off my camera.. but here's two that i like =]
enjoy home`z



love those kids

OH! & what's even better..
me & stacey argued today.
let's just say that there's finally closure to a friendship that died a long time ago



:: 2007 20 June :: 10.19pm

i kinda find it funny that, two years ago, i was basically obsessed with eli. now he's a good friend of mine, and when i see him i don't even think about that night.
i don't talk to brittany anymore either, which is a relief. she's become such a faggot, honestly.
i don't really talk to anyone.
me and stacey got close for awhile, and then she fucked that up by being a stupid cunt.
oh well,
people change.

1 Yes | Love?


:: 2007 20 June :: 6.11am

there's a couple pics at end of post

i'M LOViN LiFE..
i'm getting my license in august, i've decided. =]
recently was alex's grad party..
i came, i saw, and i conquered that bioooootch.
actually, i got some vodka and orange juice and cruised my way through the night, pretty much extremely happy.
i showed up on pain pills, which nobody seemed to notice lmfao.
i basically hung out with lindsay and kaitlynn the entire night. me and rocko, eh, fought. but oh well, who doesn't fight?? i still love `im =]
alex and me got into it too.. well, it was more, him screaming at me, but i left after he started {he was blitzed}, cause the day was about him, so i wasn't gonna yell back.
ya dig?!
june 8th..
i didn't even drink, but ya know,
i had fun. party at the house for family.
then over to danielles to see the friends.
we had a little fire..
it was like,
rocko, harold, danielle, allison, chris, yeager, alex, jimmy cribbs, and i'm pretty sure somebody else, but i can't think of who at the moment.

i was in the pool within like, 20 minutes.
rocko ended up skinny-dipping, which, ya know, whatever floats your boat.
but i stayed clothed, thank you.

oh! heather got married! may 5th, it was definitely beautiful =]

kt and me, at alex's graduation. i was starting to feel the absolut by this point.

me and lindsay, like 5 minutes later. i look trashed, but definitely not.

a decent picture of me and rocko. this is december 06, right before the killswitch concert. i was definitely trashed, off like, okay. don't laugh. one shot of everclear, two bears, and a couple drinks of captain morgan. i know, i know! lightweight!

the wedding! my favourite picture! i love it. heather - nicole - me.
gorrrrrrrrrrgeous sisters, if i do say so myself.

hopefully i'll be on here more and whatnot, now that it's summer.
love ya!



:: 2007 8 May :: 8.12pm
:: Mood: blah

I never update here anymore, cause no one ever reads this. I feel that honestly when I update I'm updating for myself because people BARELY comment or read. I'm a pretty busy person but basically I try and get on once a week to comment on all the recent entries. I don't know, I kinda just feel that updating this is pointless.

5 Yeses | Love?


:: 2007 24 April :: 6.14pm

it's the little things.
the things that always go unnoticed.

i love how neither of us are ever in control of our emotions.
and at the same time i hate it.

i love how he has all this power,
and his touch is so gentle.

i love winning wrestling matches with him,
even though he's a sore loser.

i love how we can talk about pokemon
for hours.

i love how when we watched the notebook
he looked at me and smiled at the cheesy parts.

i love how he sings to me in that awful,
high-pitched kind of voice that makes me happy everytime.

i love how no matter what,
he always looks out for my best interest

i love drinking with him, because when i say i love you,
he looks at me and smiles so soft, because he believes it

and even though we argue.
he should believe it.
because i do love him.
and i wouldn't trade this last year.
not for anything.

april 24, 2006

1 Yes | Love? | Random Journal